Clear as batshit

Written By: - Date published: 7:48 am, November 5th, 2012 - 147 comments
Categories: Minister for International Embarrassment - Tags:

On Breakfast just now, Tourism Minister Key tried out his line on the international debacle arising from his insulting a prominent visitor to our country who was forbearing enough to spend time talking to Key’s kid. His plan is to try to stymie the story by saying ‘I’m not going to engage with what some reporter think they heard’. No denial. No owning his behaviour. Just pathetic.

Come on John. You said something fuckwit-ish – totally inappropriate for a Prime Minister and a Tourism, and churlish for a father who used his pull to get his kid to meet a star. Just be a man, own up, and apologise.

It’s going to be awkward in Parliament when Trevor Mallard jumps up and asks “Does he remember a conversation he had at a high school in Dunedin last week in which he described David Beckham as ‘thick as batshit’ or words to those effect; if so, does he agree that such language towards a guest to our country is completely inappropriate from the Prime Minister – who is also Minister of Tourism – and he ought to apologise for it?”

147 comments on “Clear as batshit”

  1. higherstandard 1

    Key is a dick who should concentrate on his job not his 3rd rate comedic talents

    ………

    Beckham along with many a premier league player, All Black, League player etc is in all likelihood as thick as batshit…. so what their job is sport not nuclear physics or philosophy.

    • Tom Gould 1.1

      It’s not as if Becks’ job was betting against New Zealand and slashing jobs for some global merchant bank. He’s a footballer. And by Tory logic, using your talent and wits to amass $300m should make him a hero, right?

      • Colonial Viper 1.1.1

        And by Tory logic, using your talent and wits to amass $300m should make him a hero, right?

        Right Wingers are inherently the most jealous/envious, status conscious types around. They’ll actually note that someone’s brand new Porsche Cayman is the S spec as opposed to “just” the (cheaper) standard spec, for instance.

    • Colonial Viper 1.2

      hs – you have a very limited concept of what intelligence is.

    • Draco T Bastard 1.3

      Key is a dick who should concentrate on his job not his 3rd rate comedic talents

      I’m sure he does – selling out NZ to his rich foreign mates.

    • mike e 1.4

      Lower standard you are past your used by date and are as thick as batshit as well as a dick !
      When you look at the Allblacks over the past twenty years you would find most of them have got tertiary degrees!
      Then you will find that exercise increases ones ability to think!
      Exercise also stops the decline in memory loss!
      Maybe shonkey should shut his diarrhoea diatribe and play some football!

      • higherstandard 1.4.1

        Plenty of idiots with tertiary degrees mike more so these days compared to older times when a university degree was at least indicative that one could at least string a sentence together and count on your fingers

        Judging by your incoherent rant I’d wager you’ve probably got an MBA or a PhD quite recently.

        • mike e 1.4.1.1

          No standard So you are trying to give me the 3rd degree!
          David Kirk! to you you jerk!
          Chris Laidlaw!
          Richie McCaw!
          The list would be to long for you to read!

          • alwyn 1.4.1.1.1

            One has to agree that the first two on your list are real graduates.
            McCaw, on the other hand, although he did attend University, did not I believe actually graduate. I do not regard an honorary Doctorate as qualifying.
            That’s two out of about 1100 All Blacks. Surely you can come up with some more real graduates?

          • higherstandard 1.4.1.1.2

            Chris Laidlaw got his degree years ago, before even an old git like myself, and Kirk’s would’ve been a good thirty years ago, McCaw is no doubt a good bloke but i’m sure he’d be the first to admit that he’s no genius outside of the sporting arena.

        • Rogue Trooper 1.4.1.2

          aahhh, String Theory.

          -lowerstandard (Rogue)
          🙂

  2. Brian 2

    Exactly – if he hadn’t said this he would be denying it vehemently and demanding the evidence be produced.

  3. marsman 3

    Is John Key claiming the reporter heard him wrong or that the reporter is lying? Do we hope there is a recording of John Key thus insulting a visitor to our country?

    • Lightly 3.1

      “Is John Key claiming the reporter heard him wrong or that the reporter is lying?”

      Well, he’s not claiming that. Because he’s not actually denying what he said. He’s trying to claim it was somehow a private conversation …. with a bunch of school kids… on an official visit…. in front of a reporter.

      This isn’t the first time that Key has said something bad in front of a journalist and responded by trying to attack the journo…. we all remember “we would love to see wages drop”, don’t we? http://thestandard.org.nz/did-key-try-to-get-wage-drop-journalist-sacked/

    • Jester 3.2

      I understand David Shearer has a tape of the conversation.

      • Rodel 3.2.1

        Can’t wait to hear what The PM says about our next British visitor and his ‘wife’.
        Bet he won’t risk his night hood, sorry knighthood, with words like ‘gay’ or ‘batshit’.
        Oh go on John….do it..”say something funny like a young person…ask your kids what is clever these days.

  4. vto 4

    It’s just another revelation of the way Key goes about his daily toils … i.e. just jokes without thinking, speaks without understanding, fires off bullshit as quick as a firecracker and carries on completely oblivious to others around him…. he has no comprehension, or rather care, of the reactions of those around him. Their sensibilities are of no concern to him.

    that is the revelation

  5. Tracey 5

    I shudder to think the furore in the Nat party and the media if our former PM had said something like this… except she never would because from the beginning she accepted that the job was important and required dignity.

    Remember our current PM cut short an international conference because he had tickets to Fleetwood Mac… This is not a leadership position for him it’s a things he’s trying… it’s a game a lark something he’s a having a go at. People who don’t get that it doesn’t actually matter alot to him either way whether has the job or not are deluding themselves. He sees it as his ticket tot he celebrity circuit to be as excited as a little boy meeting celebrities and sports people… which is fine, unless you are leader of a country trying to find its way to transparency, accountability, more jobs and a fairer society.

    To have seen batshit wouldn’t he have had to get dirty??? Can’t see it myself, that’s what Bill English is for.

    • alwyn 5.1

      Which former PM are you talking about?
      Is it by any chance the one who insulted the then President of the US and ended up having to apologise to him for her comments on the Iraq war?

  6. Craig Glen Eden 6

    Im really puzzled John Key seems to have a lot of private and secret conversations that he either cant remember having or dosent want others to hear and yet he is continuously heard by others to have had.
    Some one should tell him to talk more quietly then so others dont hear!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. OneTrack 7

    Groan. Another story about nothing that nobody cares about except people who already hate John Key. Yes, I do expect Mallard will get up and waste the parliaments (and the countries) time with such a stupid question. I am sure he will think he is a very smart boy when he does too. Since he can’t seem to come up with any real way of holding the government to account (you know, what opposition parties are supposed to do) he will fall back on this side show stuff. Why do they get called the “nasty party”? Beats me.

    Who, honestly, cares what JK might or might not have said about Beckham? What ….. difference does it make?

    • Zorr 7.1

      He makes us all look bad because as the elected leader of our country he represents the majority of voters at the time of the previous election. This means that his actions reflect poorly on our available choices… when Key is the lesser of two evils to the majority of the population, what does this say about us?

      And, tbh, David Shearer is causing me to become incredibly disillusioned about the prospects of a 2 term National government and depressed about the ramifications of such a situation… >_<

      • Jim Nald 7.1.1

        Hey Zorr

        Re “incredibly disillusioned about the prospects of a 2 term National government and depressed about the ramifications”

        – do you mean to say: the prospects of a 3 (THREE) term National government?

        • Zorr 7.1.1.1

          Sorry – had been pretty much meaning disillusioned with my hopes that National would only last 2 terms…

          Brain fade Monday…

    • crashcart 7.2

      Yea who cares if the PM and minister of Tourism is reported in a major English paper insulting one of their favourite stars. That is totally the how we expect someone in his position to act isn’t it.

      You say people who only hate Key will care. I disagree. Yes people who hate Key will jump all over it. Just like all his fan boys such as your self will claim it’s not important. However these are the things that make those who actually shift their position and truly decide elections wonder if this guy actually has the professionalism to do the job. I know I voted for Key in 2008. It was his performance on Letterman that made me realise that he wasn’t a PM but more of an attention seeking embarrassing family member. Except it is the whole of NZ that he is embarrassing.

    • framu 7.3

      “Why do they get called the “nasty party”?”

      because a bunch of hollow tory spin doctors sold that line to you, thats why

      and no – im not a labour voter

    • Fisiani 7.4

      Abso-lutely . I really hope that Labour waste a question or on this in QT. That would just be another own goal. No wonder National is at 45%. The amazing aspect is why they are not polling even higher. National are fully focused on getting the economy back in shape and growing employment whilst the opposition flounder on such inanities. Watch for a further fall in Labour polling .

      • Lanthanide 7.4.1

        🙄

      • Rosie 7.4.2

        You’re absolutely hilarious Fisiani.

        “National are fully focused on getting the economy back in shape and growing employment……..”

        Life on Planet Key is obviously agreeing with you

  8. Colonial Viper 8

    It’s amazing that a PM of our country would insult and run down a prominent British citizen and sporting hero.

    Key needs to understand that it is not cool showing off to teenage school girls and he sets a very bad example as an ungrateful gossip.

    • Populuxe1 8.1

      Oh Please – stop clutching your pearls. The British haven’t given much of a crap about Becks since he blew them off for the LA Galaxy, and those self-same tabloids take great glee in referring to Becks and Bosh as Thick and Thin. Given some of the nasty names you’ve called various Nats on her, your righteous indignation rings somewhat hollow.

      • David H 8.1.1

        But that was the MEDIA. Not the fucking PRIME MINISTER of New Zealand. Jesus it’s all about how it looked on the world stage.

        Now David Beckham is a football star made his millions with his talent which was kicking a ball, (Unlike Key who made his millions Preying on the weak and poor.) And he made a lot, Six times Keys pile. And to have kept them and made more, is probably down to his missus, because everyone KNOWS he is as thick as pig shit They just don’t say it out loud. Along comes Shonky saying “duh David Beckhams as thick as batshit” What a dipstick.

        • Populuxe1 8.1.1.1

          A few column inches in the yellow press of the UK hardly counts as the “world stage”. It’s a piddle in the sea and no one cares. Get a sense of proportion.

  9. Lanthanide 9

    Key is just going to answer “I cannot recall a conversation that never happened”.

    • mike e 9.1

      TSM key is thick as bat shit and homophobic probably trying to emulate a more successful celebrity
      Who has captained England ! probably more demanding than Shonkeys photo opportunism.
      At least I bet you Beckham is not suffering early onset Alzheimers!

      Key is from the party that promotes personal responsibility.
      Yet sets an opposite example of lying virtually all the time!
      His leadership of the country is the joke!

  10. King Kong 10

    Has anyone checked if David Beckham is alright?

    • Colonial Viper 10.1

      Has anyone checked if our reputation as a sovereign nation has been flushed down the toilet, again?

      • King Kong 10.1.1

        Enhanced I would imagine.

      • muzza 10.1.2

        What reputation would that be, its always been a mirage.

        Imagine if the really juicy details about politicans, who have their arms up their back were ever leaked into the real world…

        People would still call it BS, and keep wondering why the country continues to be represented by types who want to trash the place!

        Why is Helen so high up at the UN again..

    • mike e 10.2

      Primitive Primate he’s to posh to get involved in countries that barely have a turn over equivalent to his wealth!

  11. Bill 11

    …by saying ‘I’m not going to engage with what some reporter think they heard’

    Has he changed his story? I’m sure as I was skimming stories on this that he was claiming it was someone (ie, not a reporter) who had thought they heard him say…

    Thing is ‘someone’ is you or I in terms of perception…an ordinary person… whereas ‘a reporter’ is some ‘other’ in terms of perception and identification. I’d be interested now, to hear from the actual people who ‘thought’ they heard him say something. And I hope it’s a bunch of 14 year old kids he’s dismissing and accusing of lying.

  12. Dr Terry 13

    Key believes that being a smart-arse is to be funny. Moreover he mistakes sarcastic put-downs for humour.

    As Shakespeare says, “O, what a goodly outside falsehood hath!”

    Tennyson, “Words, like nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.”

    Abraham Lincoln, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

  13. kea 14

    Perversely, one could argue that with things being dire for many after the Chch quake, the volcanic ‘burb’, and the economy – a clowning PM is a welcome distraction from unpleasant realities.

    Quick, enrol Shearer in a clowning improv course somewhere !

  14. tsmithfield 15

    Seems that Key for taking the piss out of Beckham for his intelligence or lack thereof.

    From the article:

    Another promotion for the tape featuring England football captain David Beckham was also banned.

    The ad featured Beckham asking his wife: “Victoria, how do you spell DVD?”

    It appears that the ad would have been tapping into a public perception that Beckham isn’t the brightest candle in the cathederal. So, what Key has said probably wouldn’t surprise many.

    • mike e 15.1

      TSM key is thick as bat shit and homophobic probably trying to emulate a more successful celebrity
      Who has captained England ! probably more demanding than Shonkeys photo opportunism.
      At least I bet you Beckham is not suffering early onset Alzheimers!

    • felix 15.2

      tsmithfield,

      Key’s vulgar remark to the schoolgirls was not so much “things-the-pm-shouldn’t-say-because-they-might-not-be-true”, although he seems to have enough trouble with those.

      No, this is more in the category of “things-that-are-not-particularly-controversial-but-still-shouldn’t-really-be-said-to-a-bunch-of-schoolgirls-in-a-sweary-way-by-the-head-of-govt-in-case-it-makes-us-look-like-a-nation-of-cunts.”

      It’s quite a broad ranging category, but the lines around it are pretty clear and only a true fuckwit would cross them deliberately.

      • TheContrarian 15.2.1

        Do we have confirmation he was actually addressing a group of school girls?

        Like I said – for all we know at the moment he could have been in the fucking carpark and was overheard by an adult

        • crashcart 15.2.1.1

          The most recent reports are saying it was inresponse to a question from the school girls as to what Beck s was like. He said “good looking but stupid as batshit” or something along those lines.you are right though. Until Key fronts up on it at the moment it’s all speculation.

        • felix 15.2.1.2

          That’s your speculation.

  15. SouthDeeznuts 16

    Way to miss the point…

  16. McFlock 17

    Apparently, Key was having a “personal conversation” with the schoolkids at the photo-op. Should be charged with grooming (to be young nats).
         
    Anyway, Key’s desperate attempts to fit in with plebs by using what he believes is their language is shown up in the same article: on a rural radio show he thought the word “gay” way an insult.
           
    So, the world on planet Key: yoofs swear all the time, farmers are homophobic rednecks, and “whatever it takes” has a small budget and a short expiry date.

    • felix 17.1

      I wonder how much his salary would be worth if we deducted all the time he seems to spend on personal conversations, personal meetings, private cups of tea, celebrity rounds of golf and general joking around.

      Not much I reckon. Probably just the hour or two in question time every couple of weeks.

    • Colonial Viper 17.2

      Apparently, Key was having a “personal conversation” with the schoolkids at the photo-op.

      Private huh. Plenty of journalists around as usual, but any tea pots this time?

  17. Kevin 18

    Beckham is proof that you don’t need a Phd to earn several million dollars, charm, good looks and a common touch has made David Beckham the international star he is today. David gives hope to all those non academic types out there , proving that with the right amount of talent and timing you can achieve at the highest level.
    John Key owes David Beckham an apology for his insulting and ignorant remark.

    • Populuxe1 18.1

      So it’s ok to be thick so long as you’re good at sports and/or pretty.

      • Colonial Viper 18.1.1

        Wow, what a smart ass elitist remark.

        • Populuxe1 18.1.1.1

          Says the bourgeois parasite whose every second utterance is a pontification on what the working classes really need and how awful things like reality television are, and how stupid most New Zealanders are etc etc…
          By the way, is that use of “ass” instead of “arse” an admission that you work for the CIA – you used to apply that logic to me all the time.

  18. ianmac 19

    Look out. He has done it again!

    Key jokingly criticised a red top worn by presenter Jamie Mackay throughout an interview on The Farming Show last week. …
    “You’re munted mate you’re never going to make it. You’ve got that gay red top on.”

    An expression used by kids to put down other kids? But for a PM????
    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10845253

  19. It would seem Key didn’t actually say it too children but that he was overheard by someone else. And if he was talking to a friend or colleague then he is allowed to express his view.

    Hell, imagine some of the shit MP’s say about each in private

    • Colonial Viper 20.1

      It would seem that Key was trying to show off to teenage girls that he knew David Beckham, and on an official visit as PM and Parliamentarian he shouldn’t be talking in front of kids as if he were at the pub.

      Totally inappropriate.

      • TheContrarian 20.1.1

        “It would seem that Key was trying to show off to teenage girls that he knew David Beckham, and on an official visit as PM and Parliamentarian he shouldn’t be talking in front of kids as if he were at the pub.”

        Well considering we don’t know if he was in fact talking in front of kids (hell, it could have been in the fucking carpark for all you know) or if any kids heard him don’t think you’re being a little presumptuous? Don’t think the news and teachers would be complaining about John key swearing in front of children if that were the case.

        • felix 20.1.1.1

          If he’s on the job it’s not private.

        • Colonial Viper 20.1.1.2

          Don’t think the news and teachers would be complaining about John key swearing in front of children if that were the case.

          They are complaining mate, Keys lost a shit load of votes, but doesn’t care. As for the news, Key could set his farts on fire and the NZ Herald would run a story on the PM supporting alternative fuels.

          • TheContrarian 20.1.1.2.1

            meh, personally if he was addressing student specifically when he said i can see how that is a problem but if he was discussing something with a friend or colleague then he is entitled to an opinion and it is pretty pale in comparison to what MP’s scream at other in the house.

            • Colonial Viper 20.1.1.2.1.1

              He wanted to show off to the young girls that he and his son had met David Beckham. Sorta lame and juvenile.

              • “He wanted to show off to the young girls that he and his son had met David Beckham. ”

                What unsubstantiated crap

                • Colonial Viper

                  It makes sense, Key wanting to be the cool guy in front of some teenage girls, dissing some famous sports star by talking some trash.

              • mike e

                Celebrity over substance how the young view the world but the substance (lack of)got in the way!
                terrible stuff bat shit!

    • toad 20.2

      Never mind. David Shearer will have a tape recording of what he actually said. Oh, wait…

  20. BM 21

    Why do I get the feeling the Labour party is involved in this beat up.

    • mike e 21.1

      Boringly Mundane Doh because Key is handing them all the ammunition they need!

      • BM 21.1.1

        I reckon Clare Curran may have something to do with this.

        • felix 21.1.1.1

          I reckon she didn’t. So where are we now?

          • BM 21.1.1.1.1

            Wait a week and see what comes out.
            Doesn’t this strike you as another Labour driven attempt to slag of the PM also that Shearer refuses to comment on it , does he know something?

            • crashcart 21.1.1.1.1.1

              Yea what in the hell are the opposition doing pointing out when the PM is doing things wrong? What the hell has this world come too?

            • Lightly 21.1.1.1.1.2

              But this is a RNZ reprot based on what the reporter heard. What’s that got to do with Labour?

              And why would Labour make up a story that Key talked incoherent smack about David Beckham to some private school girls in Dunedin? No-one would ever believe them.

  21. The Gormless Fool formerly known as Oleolebiscuitbarrell 22

    Why do we demand that people who are good at sport also be smart?

    No-one says: that Enrico Fermi may be sharp as a tack, but he is shit at rugger.

    • Stephen Hawking is brilliant but he is fucking hopeless at water-polo

    • felix 22.2

      I don’t know Ole, but I think the real question is “Why do we demand that people who are representing us as a nation behave in a diplomatic and dignified manner in public rather than being dickheads 24/7?”

      • The Gormless Fool formerly known as Oleolebiscuitbarrell 22.2.1

        I don’t know, Felix. I think I would prefer that people representing us said what they think, rather than considering their primary responsibility not to offend people. I think the modern fashion for avoiding causing offence is a little tiresome.

        • felix 22.2.1.1

          Yeah, fuck it. What makes the job so bloody important anyway?

        • Colonial Viper 22.2.1.2

          I think I would prefer that people representing us said what they think, rather than considering their primary responsibility not to offend people.

          Yeah except when you’re leader of a country, wars happen.

  22. tsmithfield 23

    It seems to me the only thing Key is guilty of is insulting bat shit. 🙂

    • felix 23.1

      Yeah, you already tried that.

      Like I said, it’s nothing to do with the accuracy of the remark, just the appropriateness.

      • King Kong 23.1.1

        Yes I remember how angry you got when Helen Clark called all residents of the West Coast “feral inbreds”.

        Keys comments are probably not as offensive but he still deserves your wrath.

        • felix 23.1.1.1

          Except she didn’t.

          • King Kong 23.1.1.1.1

            Yes she did. I overheard it. She was speaking privately to a group of intellectually handicap preteens who had all been the victims of incest.

            Absolutely disgraceful. I remember at the time how the indignant, but made up anger, came flowing out of me like a volcano. “She’s the P fucking M” I howled.

            • felix 23.1.1.1.1.1

              Joke all you like, you’re still lying.

              If I’m wrong, prove it with a source, a reference, a link, anything you can find that shows that Helen Clark “called all residents of the West Coast feral inbreds”.

              Hint: we’ve done this all before, and there isn’t one, because she didn’t say it.

              • Populuxe1

                How about Clark calling New Zealanders “deeply racist”
                http://www.stuff.co.nz/sunday-star-times/features/3751531/Acting-giant-reflects-on-NZ-society
                 
                Or calling John Campbell a “sanctimonious little creep”

                • Colonial Viper

                  Well, at a guess there are a few hundred thousand NZers out there who ARE deeply racist. Mostly against Maori and Pasifika in my experience.

                  • Populuxe1

                    Ah, but is it (a) any less true than Becks not being the brightest crayon in the box, and (b) any less likely to hurt people’s feelings?

                    • Colonial Viper

                      The PM’s a dick, his dickhead statements prove it, what does that make you, running irrelevancies as cover for his poor representation of NZ?

                • felix

                  She didn’t say that either.

                  Here’s the quote, from Sir Ian McKellan, from your own frickin link: “She said to me that New Zealand was really a very racist country, and she was determined to do everything she could as prime minister to change that.”

                  The way you phrased it you made it look like you were quoting Helen Clark saying “New Zealanders are deeply racist” when you have no record whatsoever of such words being used. It may well be Sir Ian’s summary of an hour-long conversation ffs.

                  Bit deceptive, mate.

                  • Populuxe1

                    Feeling a bit irony deficient, felix? Key was presented as if he was being quoted directly, although we have no idea of the circumstances.
                    Interesting that no one has bothered to contradict the John Campbell incident. Predictable.
                     

                    • felix

                      I refer you to McFlock’s earlier pointing-out-of-the-obvious-to-idiots here: http://thestandard.org.nz/clear-as-batshit/comment-page-1/#comment-543231

                      According to the reporter present, Key made the comments “while talking to students at Dunedin’s St Hilda’s Collegiate on Friday”.

                      Seems a pretty clear description of the circumstances. What’s confusing you?

                      ps I note that you didn’t dispute that you made up the Clark quote.

                    • McFlock

                      And to absolutely explicit, the RNZ report here  actually states that “Key joked with a group of pupils” when he used the phrase. 10sec in, within even a tory’s attention span.
                           
                      Apparently, when Key is taking reporters on a photo-op with schoolkids, anything he says during that photo-op is an off the record “personal conversation”.
                             
                      But keep polishing that turd. 

                    • Populuxe1

                      Are you calling Sir Ian a liar?

                    • McFlock

                      Nope. Either Key or RadioNZ.
                           
                      Based on past form, my money’s on Key being a lying prick to cover his arse. 
                           
                      And your gandalf-line was a bit loose with strict reality yourself. 

  23. Abi 24

    Thanks for your grateful informations, this blogs will be really help for freshers jobs.

  24. geoff 25

    He’s hedging his bets becasue he thinks maybe Radio NZ’s reporter actually has the recording of him saying it …but is choosing to hold onto that tape …

    Always a risk-taker. Taking a long time to learn that you can’t wing it ALL the time when you are PM

    GG

  25. Anything this bl—y nact govt touches turns to ‘batshit’
    Change regulations,turns to ‘batshit’
    Changes to policy, turns to ‘batshit’
    The ‘batshit’ leader and his ‘batshit’ ministers should all
    resign,to save NZ from any more ‘batshit’ madness.

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