Crusher Collins to launch McPrisons
Crusher Collins to launch McPrisons(TM)
Clearly envious of the regular stream of complimentary Happy Meals arriving at Paula Bennett’s Parliamentary office (Paula tells us she has already managed to collect seven out of the eight of the new Ice Age figurines), Crusher Collins has attempted to go one better than Bennett’s McJobs scheme with a themed initiative of her own – McPrisons.
Initially attracted by the idea of locking up prisoners in shipping containers, but frustrated by the lack of decent kickbacks from industry players, she hit upon the idea of locking them up in McDonald’s “Future Space” play equipment after seeing a toddler stuck in one of the transparent bubbles while driving through Newtown last week (pictured).
When questioned on the security of the untested plastic play equipment the minister responded that “deep ball pit moats around the periphery should keep prisoners safely contained” and with regard to rehabilitation, “the additional presence of Hamburgler should act as a constant reminder that crime doesn’t pay”.
Clearly envious of the regular stream of complimentary Happy Meals arriving at Paula Bennett’s Parliamentary office (insiders tell us she has already managed to collect seven of the eight of the new Ice Age figurines), Crusher Collins has attempted to go one better than Bennett’s McJobs scheme with a themed initiative of her own – McPrisons.
Initially attracted by the idea of locking up prisoners in shipping containers, but frustrated by the lack of decent kickbacks from industry players, she hit upon the idea of locking them up in McDonald’s “Future Space” play equipment after seeing a child (pictured) stuck in one of the transparent bubbles while driving through Newtown in her Crown limo last week.
When questioned on the security of the untested plastic play equipment the minister responded that “deep ball pit moats around the periphery should keep prisoners safely contained” and with regard to rehabilitation, “the additional presence of Hamburgler should act as a constant reminder that crime doesn’t pay”.
