Written By:
notices and features - Date published:
5:30 pm, June 12th, 2025 - 9 comments
Categories: Daily review -
Tags:
Daily review is also your post.
This provides Standardistas the opportunity to review events of the day.
The usual rules of good behaviour apply (see the Policy).
Don’t forget to be kind to each other …
Not politics here but jeez my teen leaving home tomorrow, her last night with me. Been just her & I for the last 7-8 years. She's moving to ChCh so not too far away (I'm in Dunedin) & I am happy she is moving on & starting her adult life (she's 17, moving to study, her mum & her family up there). Been an amazing few years with her & she's a wonderful human being I believe she'll do well.
No one tells you of these feelings (when I left home at 15 I ran out without ever looking back, didn't even think of my parents or their feelings, something you start to think about once you yourself become a parent). When the kid told me she was moving out it was the first time I sat & thought "what do I want to do?". I'm only 51 & it feels like the first time I have had to just think of myself in a long time.
So other parents of adult children, I just would like some kind & encouraging words if there are any, so many mixed feelings! Pride, for myself & the kid, sadness with the upcoming quiet empty house (just me & the cat), anticipation for the future. Anyway, she's just come into the lounge to play some PS4 (we just watched A Fish Called Wanda with me because we watched Fawlty Towers recently & she thinks John Cleese was funny).
Thanks, just needed to express some words.
It is a hard time to let go those which you love so much. When our young fella was moving on to high school we had decided a boys school was best for him.
That morphed into boarding there (his Mum had boarded at Wanganui Girls) as often an only child needs some 'brothers'. On the day of dropping him off I held it together at the hostel. When we went to the pool supply shop on the way home, I howled.
Fast forward 10 years and we have just dropped him and his girlfriend off at the airport for a holiday in Scotland.
From what you say, it's going to hurt but that hurt will fade and be replaced by pride. As they become the adult with all their adventures and achievements.
"Parting is such sweet sorrow".
As for yrself, I recommend a hobby or two. Something for that surplus attention to be poured into.
Hi matey, thats a long time the 2 of you. She must obviously rate you!
Thats pretty awesome you could see her play on the PS4 and you obviously have a connected Humour……sounds like many good memories : )
Take care man, all the best .
And yea, ChCh not too distant…. : )
Thanks, Nicola:
https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/national/563956/auckland-department-store-smith-and-caughey-s-unveils-final-window-display
Yes suddenly a realisation of permanent change. I think she will reflect your time together. Good wishes to you both. It sounds like you have a friendship that will continue.
My only advice is to say, "The door is always open, and you are always welcome when and if you need a break." I said that to both my boys as each left. They would visit, bring a friend, and kept in touch. Now aged 58 and 60 lol.
I don't know the equivalent of the phone card these days, but that was my parting gift to each of them. Agree a phrase to say "I need help" and one that says "Everything is peachy" Something they can say in front of others. Thinking of you tomorrow.
Choose one day a week to do something for yourself. For me it was a coffee out and a visit to get library books and magazines. (I was teaching). You will have an empty nest feeling. But invite a friend out for coffee/tea glass of wine. Enjoy control of the TV remote.
That's really some great advice, appreciated Patricia, & others. Thank you.
Two days ago I dropped my now adult son @airport..heading to America/mexico/Cambodia/Vietnam/Australia ..so I won't be seeing him for awhile…it still hurts..
I raised him from his birth..cloth nappies..no clothes dryer….heh..!
And we have a strong relationship…. and I can confirm for you that that strong relationship…built on the foundation you clearly have..is a well to draw from…
And as for what to do now..?
I left school/home at 15..and went to university in my 40's..
..and I highly recommend that to others ..
The best way..I found ..was to study what interests you..and how to find that is to go through the university options ..pencil in hand..
Plus communication is so easy now ..
(I have a sister in Australia…and we just have this daily rolling conversation….)
And of course the takeaway that we share is the privilege that not many men get to experience..
Namely being so deeply involved in the day to day raising of our children…
..an experience I revelled in…as you also clearly did…
..enjoy the warm glow..!!
Thank you. Yes I was lucky I had a job that finished at midday while she was growing up so was there after school, so lucky! I had a prostate scare that turned out not to be a scare last year but it was the first time I really thought about ME & my future, was a strange thunderbolt. I have a GF & she has a son in his 20s that is a bit more of a worry.
A few nights ago the kid & I went out to dinner with her mother, the mother & I get on & have always been on the same page regarding the kid, the mother used to struggle as a young mum (the pressure on women, the mother was always wondering when these magic feelings kick in, she could never bond with the kid even though the mother was an awesome mother). The kid & the mother have gotten closer over the years & I'm happy about that. The dinner we had together recently was a lot of fun & the kid was beaming the whole time, especially as the mother & I were just talking about the kid as a baby & toddler.
anyway, just dropped her off with her mother who is driving her up to ChCh & the kid was bawling but I let her know her room is still here & I'm only a phone call away & anyway we will meet up in Auckland next year for our annual trip up north to my family & I thought we could also explore the West Coast one year together, who knows.
Got a pal who's asked me to meet her in town for coffee so will go do that as I drop some books off at the library. I am so very lucky & happy for the kid & her exciting new adventure.
Thanks for those responding just so weird as always knew this day was coming & was even looking forward to it but wow, it's here.