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David Cameron is like a hollow Easter egg, with no bag of sweets inside. He’s nothing. He’s no one

Written By: - Date published: 7:43 pm, April 26th, 2010 - 30 comments
Categories: International, uk politics - Tags: ,

An oldie but a goodie opinion piece on David Cameron by Guardian columnist Charlie Booker. It was written three years ago, but arguably more relevant now with Cameron poised to take 10 Downing St. Also, one can’t but help make comparisons with John Key. Enjoy!

David Cameron is an idiot. A simpering, say-anything, dough-faced, preposterous waddling idiot with a feeble, insincere voice and an irritating tendency to squat near the top of opinion polls. I don’t like him. And I’ve got a terrible feeling he’ll be prime minister one day. Brrr.

These are unthinking snap judgments, based on little more than his media profile – but since he appears to consist of little more than a media profile designed to appeal to unthinking snap judgments, that seems fair enough. On that basis, let’s stick to gut instincts, shall we?

There is nothing to him. He is like a hollow Easter egg with no bag of sweets inside. Cameron will say absolutely anything if he thinks it might get him elected. If a shock poll was published saying 99% of the British public were enthusiastic paedophiles, he would drive through the streets in an open-top bus surrounded by the Mini Pops. He’s nothing. He’s no one.

It’s notoriously tricky to find out much about his past, in the same way that Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt found it tricky to find out much about the serial killer John Doe in the movie Se7en. He’d managed to erase his entire existence, even slicing the skin off his fingers to avoid leaving prints. Ever seen a close-up of Cameron’s fingertips? Of course not. Think about it.

The apparently self-penned bio on Cameron’s website begins, “I was born in October 1966,” and then leaps straight forward to 2001, missing out the decades he spent as a guffawing, top-hatted toff in between. The infamous photo of Dave posing alongside his posho chums from the Bullingdon Club in an expensive royal blue tailcoat is one of the few clues we have. It looks like precisely the sort of photo a detective might end up studying in a murder mystery, one where a group of friends accidentally killed a prostitute during a drunken, stormy night, and collaborated on a cover-up. I’m not saying the Bullingdon boys kill prostitutes. I’m just saying I wouldn’t be surprised. And that’s his fault, not mine. He’s gone out of his way not to mention his blue-blooded carousing, because he knows it would make the average citizen puke themselves into a coma, and one side-effect of this is that he seems shifty and suspicious.

Every time I look at Cameron, I’m reminded of video-game characters: not the loveable, spiky ones like Sonic or Mario, but the bland, generic dead-eyed avatars you can “create” for use in a tennis game or a tedious Tolkienesque adventure. You start with a bald clone, then add features drawn from a limited palette – eye colour, one of three noses, an optional goatee beard and so on – and invariably end up with an eerily characterless zombie straight out of the boardgame Guess Who?. Simulated choice, as opposed to genuine variety. It is easy to build a Cameron lookalike. Just simulate the smuggest estate agent you can think of. Or some interchangeable braying twit in a rugby shirt, ruining a local pub just by being there. Easy.

Naturally, I’m biased. I’ve instinctively hated the Tories since birth. If there was an election tomorrow, and the only two choices were the Nazis or the Tories, I’d vote Tory with an extremely heavy heart. In descending order of vehemence, my objections to the Tory species stem from a) everything they do, b) everything they say, c) everything they stand for, d) how they look, e) their stupid names and f) the noises I imagine they make in bed. I once overheard two posh people – almost certainly Tories – having sex in a hotel room. It was grim. The woman kept saying, “Fuck me, Gerald,” in a cut-glass accent, which was funny, but Gerald himself soon wiped the grin off my face with his grunting, which wasn’t really grunting at all, but instead consisted of the words “oh” and “ah” crisply orated aloud, like Sir Laurence Olivier reading dialogue off a card at an early rehearsal. I didn’t stick around long enough to hear the climax, but I imagine the words “gosh”, “crumbs”, and “crikey” probably put in an appearance.

And here is why that’s relevant: Cameron almost certainly says “crikey” at the vital moment. Go on, picture it. Right now, in your mind’s eye. You know it’s true. If nothing else in this puerile one-sided hatchet job has convinced you, that’s reason enough not to elect him, right there.

In summary, then: he is a idiot. But you knew that anyway. In fact the only reason I have written this is because it is going to be printed in a newspaper, which means his advisers will have to photocopy it and include it in some official internal press file, where it will sit alongside all the unnecessarily positive coverage he has generated for himself. It gives me a pathetic, childish, self-indulgent thrill, and in today’s world of cookie-cutter choicelessness, that’s as good as it gets. So nyahh nyahh, Dave, you fair-weather, upper-crust guff-cloud. Nyahh nyahh.

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The Conservative party
The Conservative party is an eternally irritating force for wrong that appeals exclusively to bigots, toffs, money-minded machine men, faded entertainers and selfish, grasping simpletons who were born with some essential part of their soul missing. None of history’s truly historical figures has been a Tory, apart from the ones that were, and they only did it by mistake. To reach a more advanced stage of intellectual evolution, humankind must first eradicate the “Tory instinct” from the brain – which is why mother nature is gradually making them less sexy with each passing generation. The final Tory is doomed to spend his or her life masturbating alone on a hillside, which, let’s face it, is the way things were supposed to be all along.

30 comments on “David Cameron is like a hollow Easter egg, with no bag of sweets inside. He’s nothing. He’s no one”

  1. Rex Widerstrom 1

    Ummm… yeah… I see you even quoted the bit where Brooker calls his piece a:

    puerile one-sided hatchet job

    yet your reaction to it is rather like that of the Tories he overheard in the hotel: an orgasmic “Crikey!” and a reprint as though it’s an in-depth analysis.

    Brooker’s a brilliant, hilarious curmudgeon (the type of person Paul Henry wishes he could be). But don’t try to pretend that anything he writes is grounded in fact.

    I love the line

    but since he appears to consist of little more than a media profile designed to appeal to unthinking snap judgments, that seems fair enough

    So true of virtually any politician nowadays. I just wish Brooker would turn his attention to Gordon Brown… something like "just imagine a dour Scottish undertaker measuring you up and assessing how much gilt he can charge you for on your coffin. Or someone that's found out their best friend has run off with their wife… and now they'll have to train a new grouse retriever" maybe.

  2. Captain Rehab 2

    OMFG! Farrar is the last Tory!!!

  3. You are right about the comparisons with John Key. You could do a search and replace of Cameron and Key and Britain and NZ and get a pretty accurate analysis.

    I wonder if they use the same public relations firm?

    • Bright Red 3.1

      Yup, Crosby-Textor is big with the Tories.

    • Rharn 3.2

      The connection between Cameron and Key is Lord Ashcroft. I’ve long believed that it is Ashcroft who is Key’s ‘political’ minder.

  4. TightyRighty 4

    you know when a team has lost? when even it’s biggest cheerleaders can find nothing good to say about it, and can only try drag the opponent down to the same level of hell they must be living in.

    • Michael Foxglove 4.1

      TightyRighty – You never answered my question in Saturday’s post about whether you think individuals have the right to choose and publicise their own ideologies? But you Tories really don’t like it when your own prejudices conflict with your pretend principles, do you?

      • TightyRighty 4.1.1

        sorry missed it. people do have the choice. thats the beautiful thing about democracy supported by capitalism. it enables a surplus to allow idiots to try and hold true to the flawed ideology of the left.

    • Armchair Critic 4.2

      Funny that. Some of the nicest things that National’s staunchest advocates have had to say recently is “well, at least they are still high in the polls”.
      But I’m sure that’s not what you were meaning. So tell me, what’s the best thing about John Key, TR?

      • Michael Foxglove 4.2.1

        Yeah TR – We’re all waiting with baited breath to hear your favourite thing about John Key. (And don’t give us ‘he’s not Helen’ crap – we’re looking for substance brother!)

      • Armchair Critic 4.2.2

        C’mon TR, tick tock, tick tock. Surely it can’t take that long to come up with something.
        I don’t want a full list of (both?) good things, just the one best thing about JK. Could it take much more than a sentence or two?

        • TightyRighty 4.2.2.1

          do you think i sit here, waiting with baited breath for someone to take a crack at me? I have a life, you should try living one too.

          anyway, what is something i think Prime Minister Key is doing well.

          Slashing wasteful spending in the public service and redirecting it to front line services. he could go further though. oh wait, another $2 billion. yes please.

          enabling the country to get on with living, rather than being subservient to the wishes of the state. to make up for nine years of wasted opportunities, that we are still paying for.

          pressing ahead with a raise in consumption tax to replace income tax. thereby encouraging saving and investment.

          being a fantastic leader. I love it when he smiles and waves and the crowds go wild. i can see all the pinkos gnashing their teeth in frustration. imagining that only they know the truth, and that everyone else is stupid. that cracks me up no end.

          now what has gordon brown, the silly scottish arse hole (remember, this is the man who “ended boom and bust”), done that makes him better than Cameron?

          edit: sorry forgot to add, it shouldn’t be that hard to number the things that makes brown better than cameron. he also saved the world, even if he does say so himself.
          OMFG
          ROFLCAKES

          • Armchair Critic 4.2.2.1.1

            do you think i sit here, waiting with baited breath for someone to take a crack at me?
            I try to think about you as little as possible.
            You did a great job of dispelling the rumour that rightys have no sense of humour, that list is hilarious.

            • TightyRighty 4.2.2.1.1.1

              wow, you really smashed that one out of the park.

              having two time tagged comments from you half an hour apart showing increasing impatience, and then being right there to pounce when i do comment might suggest that you think about me more than you claim.

              Have you got abandonment issues? feeling let down by left wing ideology?

              • Galeandra

                No, allured by the fishy smell of your baited breath.

              • Armchair Critic

                Yeah, ta. And you just did a pretty good job of demonstrating that you are just sitting around waiting for someone to have a crack at you.
                On reflection I’m guessing were you serious with that list? So here goes…
                You mean like slashing wasteful spending that doesn’t exist?
                You mean getting on with living by telling us what not to wear, where not to drive and not bothering us with trivialities like voting in local body elections?
                You mean suppressing the economy by transferring the spending of those on fixed incomes from out of the pockets of small businesses (like mine) and into their own coffers by raising consumption taxes. You support taxes increases? You must love Labour, then.
                Fantastic leader? The f*cker couldn’t lead a dog. Blingish makes him look like a sock puppet.
                Who cares about Gordon Brown? Not me.
                Tell you one thing about JK, he’s still pretty popular in the polls.

              • TightyRighty

                jesus galeandra, plants eat more shit than anything. so i wouldn’t be commenting on my breath.

                Armchair, you’re in a small business are you? it must be some shady, cash only business, dependent on the elderly if you care about a minor gst increase. should you suffer because you can’t adjust, I’m not crying. it’s not an increase in tax over all, labour has promised that when they are in power, this is changing the recipe of the tax base. donkey.

                I’m in a small business too, we are expecting a minor surge in demand, and then business as normal. but we work our asses off making sure we can reach a wider market and create more demand for our goods. so no panic in my part, and in fact, neither are my customers worried. once again, if your business sucks, fail, capitalism at work. it’s beautiful.

                if you are a small business owner, and you don’t think there is wasteful government spending, then you are either a) blind, b) stupid, or c) running a cash only business that manages to ignore most of the red tape that law abiding business must comply with.

                can i please have an example of what the national government has told us not to wear, or where not to drive? I must have missed these articles of nanny statism, and won’t be happy if it has happened. do you live in canterbury? do you do regular business in canterbury inside and outside of christchurch? or is it because you read some left wing blogs, you REALLY understand the situation at Ecan, and that gives you license to comment from your la-z-boy?

                peasant

          • RedBack 4.2.2.1.2

            So TR you would subscribe to the theory that was held by Dave Cameron to let the banks simply fail. Along with it would go billions of pounds of ordinary folks savings. Peoples houses would’ve been lost on an unimaginable scale. Unemployment would’ve skyrocketed. The pound would’ve been devalued overnight and to top it all off the UK would’ve more than likley had to have gone cap in hand to the personification of evil that is the IMF. Please tell me in what way would David Cameron’s course of action (or more like inaction) have benefited the UK economy? Plus lay off the racial insults. Argue yes. But Gordon Brown being Scottish has nothing to do with his abilities as PM of the UK.
            Also what you call wasteful spending other people call their livliehoods and with it the ability to clothe and feed their families. Its a bit inconvienent for your argument (whatever that is) when you think about it like that isn’t it.

            • TightyRighty 4.2.2.1.2.1

              i’ll answer your second question first. If the state is so inefficient that whole livelihoods rely on the state sector wasting the money people who really work earn, then no, i don’t think it inconvenient for my argument. it just shows that your argument is weak, and that the state is inefficient for the delivery of services and for the reallocation of wealth. and proves that the nine years of labour were years of wasted opportunities.

              I have no problem with the banks failing. they should have been allowed to fail. i have said this time and time again. i don’t like the regulation the left all wanted, and wasn’t particularly impressed by bank bonuses either. so they should have failed. the system would have carried on. times would be tough, in britain, but that is just how it goes sometimes.

              I think it could be said, that they haven’t learnt anything from the disaster. except that they can bank recklessly and the government will be there to bail them out.

              the pound has devalued, Britain is not far away from going cap in hand to the IMF. Labour won’t allow anyone to identify the public spending that needs to be slashed to be slashed to reduce government borrowing, as they can’t balance the books, as they have created an army of state dependent morons. and that was the fiscal fools plan of action. remember, he “saved the world”.

              everything said about David Cameron is hypothetical, like what the NZ labour party would do here if it was in power. however, the fiscal fools plans are very close to NZ labour, so we know what could have happened here. and i thank gawd the electorate saw that coming and tipped them out.

              • RedBack

                Yep. Times are tough here in the UK at the moment. But when times are tough the last thing you want to do is pull substantial cashflow to those parts of the civil service that are going to support those who have lost their jobs in the public sector and private sector. Otherwise what do you think will happen to those people?
                With regards to bailing out the banking sector: So you would sit quite comfortably on your bum while 100,000’s of people lost their jobs and claim “oh well thats their tough luck, not my problem”. It actually is your problem. Less people employed equals less revenue for the tax system. Less money for the health service, education, police, fire fighters, teachers etc… to put it simply it would be a social meltdown of catastrophic proportions. Plus here in the UK and it would be the same in NZ there are alot of firms now that rely on govermnment contracts. Those would dry up and there would be the knock on effect to the private sector compounding the unemployment rates even further. That really doesn’t sound like a great uptopia does it.

          • Maynard J 4.2.2.1.3

            “Slashing wasteful spending in the public service and redirecting it to front line services. he could go further though. oh wait, another $2 billion. yes please.”

            Mmm loved it how he’s cut down on biosecurity, and put the boot into the frail elderly. Front line offices around the country are closing down or losing staff, but by simple tricks certain folk think that the front-line is being bolstered. The latter is quite sad really, these regional folk who think that all the ‘bureaucrats’ being fired are from the bad ol’ centril gummint, when it’s their locals gettng the sack. And they are too dumb to see it.

            “enabling the country to get on with living, rather than being subservient to the wishes of the state. to make up for nine years of wasted opportunities, that we are still paying for.”

            Wow, there’s just SO much substance in that to get my teeth into. Why, the last nine years is just couldn’t live, dahling, now I’m free! I used to spend all my time wailing “why must I be subservient to the wishes of the state”. Now I’m free to drive around using my cellphone, I don’t have to worry about some nanny state enforcing booster seats in cars, or increasing the driving age, or increasing the drinking age. No more bureaucracy in schools, no more needing to vote for regional councils, no more cares about Auckland’s resources, since some nice oligarchs will worry about all that stuff for me.

            I’m also free because instead of a stagnant and restricted economy, my beautiful NZ has spread her wings and economically soared! The masses of people with newfound jobs and newfound economic freedom…what a beautiful thing. Shucks, I get misty thinking about this, and how Key did it all with a smile and a wave.

            “pressing ahead with a raise in consumption tax to replace income tax. thereby encouraging saving and investment.”

            I doubt this one, and a higher tax that affects those on lower incomes will not encourage saving for those who would really benefit. I’m not opposed to taxation on consumption per se, but it needs to be balanced with appropriate wealth taxes, and ways to prevent an excessive burden on the consumprion of needs, not wants.

            “being a fantastic leader. I love it when he smiles and waves and the crowds go wild. i can see all the pinkos gnashing their teeth in frustration. imagining that only they know the truth, and that everyone else is stupid. that cracks me up no end”

            I read, during the US election, someone complaning about all these stupid questions – “who would you rather have a beer with – Obama or McCain?”. The commentor was saying he wanted the President to be a good President, not a drinking buddy. So you want a nice smiley PM. I want an effective one. Maybe we should get Miley Cyrus to run next time to distract voters like you, who want a smiley-wavey PM, and we can only hope an effective one sneaks in.

  5. outofbed 5

    “with Cameron poised to take 10 Downing St”
    I don’t think so, not on these figures
    http://ukpollingreport.co.uk/blog/

  6. prism 6

    What a glorious rollicking swashbuckling attack on David Cameron by Charlie Booker. And Rex W does a pretty good send up. I wonder if its true that there never have been any Tory truly historical figures, except when there have been, but only by mistake.

    • Lew 6.1

      Churchill and Thatcher seem the two most obvious exceptions. Though Churchill dallied with the Liberal party for a while, his important deeds were with the Conservatives.

      They still owe him a very great deal, and certain among the British media, periodically and especially around elections, ask that dear old question of who was the greatest Briton of the 20th Century (or the greaterst British Prime Minister, or somesuch similar), to which the reflexive, ingrained answer is invariably “Churchill”. He gives Britons a warm and fuzzy feeling which predisposes them somewhat towards thinking kindly of the Tories.

      Not so much Thatcher. Once knew a bloke whose band was given the honour of playing God Save The Queen at their public-school prizegiving ceremony in 1985 or so. To the horror and fury of the dignitaries gathered there, they launched into Maggie’s Farm — in the style recorded for Hard Rain. Sounded like good times.

      L

  7. Thanks for sharing this. It was good for a laugh on a monday. I’m hoping the Tories wont win given their trackrecord with thatcherism.

  8. outofbed 8

    “It is my job to see that Cameron fucking well gets into Downing Street,” proclaimed Tom Newton Dunn, political editor of the Sun, to a group of journalists from rival papers, recently.

    Just change the names eh?

  9. RedBack 9

    I was watching the live debate on Sky News (UK) the other night and low and behold who puts their slimey mug on the telly for their opinion of how the debate went but Mr Textor himself. While ITV news introduced him as Conservative PR consultant. Good old Murdoch Sky News announced him as “Political Commentator”. WTF??!! I know Murdoch wants his mate Dave at No. 10 but thats just taking the p***!. Cameron’s campaign has so many similarities to Key’s 2008 campaign its just not funny. The negative “Broken Britain” slogan along with branding Labour’s jusitifed rise in national insurance as the “Jobs Tax” its straight out of the Lord Ashcroft funded Textor Crosby handbook on “How to get posho simpletons elected”.

  10. deemac 10

    Charlie Brooker is brilliant – thanks for reminding us!~

  11. RedBack 12

    I knew I’d read it somewhere. This article written by Johann Hari for the Independant newspaper last year is a fine piece of journalism regarding their near hysteria the Right and its mates in the media created over the financial crisis and its that same wave of hysteria that looks like David Cameron will ride to No. 10 Downing Street. Makes the Tory argument of Labour mismanaging the UK economy rather flimsy.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/johann-hari/johann-hari-britains-not-bust-so-dont-use-it-as-an-excuse-to-impose-cuts-1799217.html

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    National Messiah? Chris Luxon identifies himself as an evangelical Christian. If he is genuine in this self-characterisation, then he will take every opportunity his public office provides to proselytise on behalf of his faith. He will also feel obliged to bear witness against beliefs and practices he believes to be ...
    3 days ago
  • War of the worms
    I'm going to make a Reckless Prediction™ that the Tories have 'topped out' in the 'poll of polls' / Britain Elects multipoll tracker at about 38%, and in the next week we will start to see Labour creep up on them.In fact, we might just be seeing the start of ...
    3 days ago
  • Marvelly shows us how to be a feminist without feminism
    by The Council of Disobedient Women Lizzie Marvelly: “I may have missed this… has @afterellen gone all terf-y? Or am I reading something incorrectly? “ https://twitter.com/LizzieMarvelly/status/1191840059105742849 After Ellen is a lesbian website that is unashamedly pro-lesbian, as you’d expect. So why is Ms Marvelly so bothered about lesbians having their ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    4 days ago
  • Out of the past – Tories to revive racist laws from the 16th century
    Did you know there once was a time when it was illegal to be a gypsy (aka Romani) in Britain?That was between 1530, when the Egyptians Act was passed, and 1856, when it was repealed.Amongst other things, the act forbade the entry of 'Egyptians' into England, ordered those already there ...
    4 days ago
  • 1000 of these now
    Some days I sit and think, “what will I write…?” What do you say when you get to 1000 posts? Maybe you just start where you are, diverge to where this all began, then offer a collection of reader’s favourite posts, and a few of your own? (And throw in ...
    SciBlogsBy Grant Jacobs
    4 days ago
  • Has Shane Jones Just Saved NZ First?
    Counter-Puncher: The “activists” and “radicals” (his own words) from the Indian community who took such strong exception to Shane Jones’ remarks about Immigration NZ’s treatment of arranged marriages, may end up bitterly regretting their intervention. Jones is not the sort of person who turns the other cheek to his critics.SHANE ...
    4 days ago
  • Climate Change: As predicted
    Yesterday, when National voted for the Zero Carbon Bill, I predicted they'd gut it the moment they regained power, just as they had done to the ETS. And indeed, they have explicitly promised to do exactly that within their first hundred days in office. What would their amendments do? Abandon ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    5 days ago
  • Let this never be forgot
    In the spirit of Remember, remember the fifth of November, let's keep this in mind FOREVER.
    Oh dear. Extraordinary interview on PM with Andrew Bridgen and @EvanHD just now. Bridgen was defending Jacob Rees Mogg’s Grenfell comments. Evan asked him if JRM had meant to say he would have left ...
    5 days ago
  • Too Late To Change Capitalism’s Flightpath?
    Collision Course? In conditions of ideological white-out, the international bankers’ “Woop-Woop! Pull Up!” warning may have come too late to save global capitalism.WHAT DOES IT MEAN when international bankers are more willing to embrace radical solutions than our politicians and their electors? At both the International Monetary Fund and the ...
    5 days ago
  • Whooping cough vaccine works well despite its imperfections
    Pertussis (whooping cough) is a conundrum. It is a disease that was described hundreds of years ago and the bacteria that causes it (Bordetella pertussis) isolated in 1906. We have had vaccines for about 80 years but this disease is defiant in the face of human immunity. I wanted to ...
    SciBlogsBy Helen Petousis Harris
    6 days ago
  • Climate Change: Passed
    The Zero Carbon Bill has just passed its third reading, uanimously. In the end, National supported it - but we all know they'll turn around and gut it the moment they regain power. Meanwhile, I guess ACT's David Seymour didn't even bother to show up. I am on record as ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    6 days ago
  • Retailing of vaping products – New NZ Research
    Dr Lindsay Robertson, Dr Jerram Bateman, Professor Janet Hoek Members of the public health community hold divergent views on how access to vaping products or electronic nicotine delivery systems (ENDS) products should be arranged. Some believe ENDS should be as widely available as smoked tobacco and argue for liberal ...
    SciBlogsBy Public Health Expert
    6 days ago
  • Justice for Bomber
    When the Police were trying to cover up for the National Party over Dirty Politics, they went all-in with their abuses of power. They illegally search Nicky Hager's house, violating his journalistic privilege and invading his privacy. They unlawfully acquired Hager's bank records. They did the same to left-wing blogger ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    6 days ago
  • Britain’s climate tyranny was unlawful
    Last month, in response to a wave of protests by Extinction Rebellion, the British government purported to ban their protests from the whole of London. It was a significant interference with the freedoms of expression and assembly, and another sign of the country's decline into tyranny. But now, a court ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    6 days ago
  • More crime from the spies
    Last year, the Inspector-General of Intelligence and Security reported on significant problems with the intelligence warrant system. While they were unwilling to declare any warrant "irregular" (meaning unlawful) due to the recent law change, they were also not willing to give the system a clean bill of health. Now, they've ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    6 days ago
  • Vaccination, compulsion, and paternalism for the lower orders
    The National Party has come out in support of encouraging greater vaccination uptake. But it sure isn’t the way I’d do it. National’s suggested docking the benefits of those on benefit whose kids aren’t keeping up with their vaccinations. Some in National have suggested extending that to payments under Working ...
    SciBlogsBy Eric Crampton
    6 days ago
  • Global Protests Rage On: But Slogans Are Not Plans.
    Feeding The Flames: It is simply not enough to demand an end to “corruption”, or “inequality”, or the overbearing influence of the authorities in Beijing. These are just “lowest common denominator” demands: the sort of slogans that pull people onto the streets. They are not a plan.WHERE’S THE PLAN? Across ...
    6 days ago
  • 11,000 employed under Labour
    The labour market statistics have been released, and unemployment has risen to 4.2%. There are 115,000 unemployed - 11,000 fewer than when Labour took office. In that time the minimum wage has gone up by $2 an hour, which shows that the right's fears about increases causing unemployment are simply ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Boycott this democratic fraud
    The Foreign Affairs, Defence and Trade Committee has called for submissions on Andrew Little's tyrannical Terrorism Suppression (Control Orders) Bill. Normally I encourage participation in the democratic process. I am not doing so in this case. Instead, I encourage all of you to boycott this submissions process, and to post ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Why Mars is cold despite an atmosphere of mostly carbon dioxide
    Climate Explained is a collaboration between The Conversation, Stuff and the New Zealand Science Media Centre to answer your questions about climate change. If you have a question you’d like an expert to answer, please send it to climate.change@stuff.co.nz If tiny concentrations of carbon dioxide can hold enough heat ...
    SciBlogsBy Guest Author
    1 week ago
  • Climate Change: Ban private jets
    Aviation is one of the fastest growing sources of greenhouse gas emissions, and within it, one of the fastest sources is elite travel: billionaires flitting around the world in their private jets, spewing excessive pollution into the atmosphere just so they can avoid mixing with us dirty peasants. But in ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Climate Change: Untold Suffering
    That's what we face if we don't stop climate change, according to a warning from 11,000 scientists:The world’s people face “untold suffering due to the climate crisis” unless there are major transformations to global society, according to a stark warning from more than 11,000 scientists. “We declare clearly and unequivocally ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • The left and violent misogyny
    by Phil Duncan Here’s just a few of the kind of threats issued day in and day out against gender-critical women – feminists, marxists, etc – overwhelmingly by MEN (albeit men identifying as women). “Kill all Terfs”. “Shoot a Terf today”. “All terfs deserve to be shot in the head”. ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    1 week ago
  • Imperialism and the iPhone
    This is the third of the synopses of parts of the opening chapter of John Smith’s Imperialism in the 21st Century (New York, Monthly Review Press, 2016). The synopsis and commentary below is written by Phil Duncan. Unlike the humble cup of coffee and t-shirt that we looked at in ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    1 week ago
  • The freshwater mussel housing crisis: eviction by invasive weeds?
    Tom Moore Traditionally a food source and cutting tool, freshwater mussels/kākahi are now widely valued as water filters that help clean our waterbodies and maintain ecosystem health throughout Aotearoa. The improvement they provide in water quality can make it easier for other animals to live in streams and rivers, as ...
    SciBlogsBy Guest Author
    1 week ago
  • Back it up Luxon: endorsing the destructive past is not actually the way forward
    And to think he gave all the potential goodwill away with that moronic, cult-like statement (repeated ad nauseam by many National hardliners) that Key is quite simply “the greatest PM we ever had”… Installation complete: this was nothing ...
    exhALANtBy exhalantblog
    1 week ago
  • Good riddance
    National MP and former Conservation Minister Maggie Barry will not seek re-election next year. Good riddance. Because in case anyone has forgotten, barry is a bullying thug who terrorised both public servants and fellow MPs. She is one of the people who makes Parliament a toxic workplace, and our country ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Climate Change: D-Day
    The Zero Carbon Bill is back in the House today for its second reading. While this isn't the final stage, its still effectively D-Day for the bill. Because today, at around 5pm, is when we're going to find out if it has a majority, whether National will support it or ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Winston is right
    Winston Peters is in court today, suing a bunch of former Minister and civil servants over their pre-election leak of his superannuation repayment. He's characterised the leak as malicious, and said that it is repugnant that his information was passed on to Ministers to use for political advantage. And he's ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Media impartiality
    Sky's economics editor, Ed Conway has posted a Twitter thread responding to a claim that - as far as I can see - Labour never made:
    Are NHS operation cancellations at an all-time high? That's the impression you might have been left with if you read this story from the ...
    1 week ago
  • Finish what’s on your plate
    Murray Cox Do I have to finish my favourite genome? That’s an often-asked question. Geneticists generally strive to produce high-quality genomes that sequence every last gene, making full use of the state-of-the-art technologies coming on stream. Sequencing DNA means determining the order of the four chemical building blocks – called ...
    SciBlogsBy Genomics Aotearoa
    1 week ago
  • Gainful Employment: A Cautionary Tale.
    Transformative Politics: The idea is to turn each recipient into an unwitting accomplice in their own transformation. From interested observer to hyped-up activist, sharing our messages promiscuously with ‘friends’. You’ll be part of an ever-expanding circulatory system, Jennifer, for the ideas that will win us the election.”JENNIFER SKITTERED her chair ...
    1 week ago
  • New Zealand should not fund bigotry
    Two years ago, the Cook Islands government announced that it was planning to join the civilised world and decriminalise consensual homosexual sex between men. Now, they've reversed their position, and decided to criminalise lesbians into the bargain:Two years ago, in a step welcomed by many people including the gay and ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • New Fisk
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • More tyranny in Australia
    The boycott is a fundamental tool of protest. By choosing who we buy from, we can send a message, and hopefully change corporate behaviour. Historically, boycotts have been effective, for example over apartheid in South Africa and Israel, in forcing divestment from Myanmar, and in ending bus segregation in the ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Submission for rationality and science against the assaults of pre-modernism and post-modernism
    Jan Rivers spoke at the Abortion Legislation Select Committee in favour of the bill, but in opposition to calls from other submitters to exchange the word ‘woman’ for ‘person’ throughout the bill. Jan is a supporter of the feminist group Speak Up For Women and has recently written an excellent ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago
  • My loyal readership of … Cam girls and Pornbots?
    I checked my traffic stats:I was intrigued by 'monica29' - who was this very dedicated individual?  I clicked on the link, to be greeted with ...Ho, hum.Spreadin' the word, spreadin' the word.  Doesn't matter who hears it, as long as it gets out there. ...
    1 week ago
  • Worth repeating forever
    There have been three polls since the election was announced, and I will shamelessly steal YouGov / UK Polling Report's Anthony Wells' summary of them:Survation – CON 34%, LAB 26%, LDEM 19%, BREX 12%, GRN 1% Ipsos MORI – CON 41%, LAB 24%, LDEM 20%, BREX 7%, GRN 3% YouGov ...
    1 week ago
  • Lutte Ouvriere on the explosion in Chile
    The following article is translated from Lutte Ouvrière, the weekly newspaper of the organisation usually known by the same name in France. When, for the second time this year, Chilean President Piñera announced an increase in the price of Metro tickets from 800 to 830 pesos, students in the high ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Wage theft – I’m fucking over it.
    Today, a worker contacted me asking if she could go to the police over her employer stealing thousands of dollars from her in unpaid wages. The employer also did not pay this worker’s taxes or student loan which amounts to tax fraud. As a workers rights activist, who founded the ...
    PosseBy chloeanneking
    2 weeks ago
  • On The Rebound.
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered, They're Yours: Is there any person more vulnerable than a jilted lover on the rebound? Or, anything more certain than that the charmer, the predator, the glib spinner of lies and promises will seek such broken people out? Yes, of course, he will love every one of ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Rabbi urges congregation to vote against Corbyn
    Though Jonathan Romain is a fairly high profile Rabbi, writing in several papers and popping up on TV and the radio, this story doesn't seem to have made it to the Guardian yet, so I'll take the unusual step of linking the Stephen Pollard edited Jewish Chronicle:Rabbi Dr Jonathan Romain ...
    2 weeks ago
  • My absurdly optimistic prediction
    There's an election afoot, and that is when noted opinion formers such as myself get to make wild fools of ourselves by pretending we have the faintest idea what will happen.So, here is my absurdly optimistic prediction:Labour - 285Conservative - 262SNP - 53Lib Dems - 20PC - 5Ireland - 18 ...
    2 weeks ago
  • October ’19 – NZ blogs sitemeter ranking
    Image Credit: Increase Social Media Traffic & Website Traffic I notice a few regulars no longer allow public access to the site counters. This may happen accidentally when the blog format is altered. If your ...
    2 weeks ago
  • A mountain of a challenge in banning glyphosate
    Belinda Cridge I was reading my son a story last night. A great tale of derring-do of five mountaineers scaling the Matterhorn for the first time. One in the party had tried six times previously and failed, this was the last attempt before winter closed another season. They tried a ...
    SciBlogsBy Guest Author
    2 weeks ago
  • This government has a problem with secrecy
    As introduced, the Zero Carbon Bill included an expansive secrecy clause, which would have covered virtually all decisions by the Climate Change Commission over our most important policy area. The Ministry for the Environment admitted this was a mistake (or as they put it, an "oversight"), and the select committee ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • A small New Zealand songbird that hides food for later use provides insights into cognitive evolutio...
    Rachael Shaw, Victoria University of Wellington When we think about animals storing food, the image that usually comes to mind is a squirrel busily hiding nuts for the winter. We don’t usually think of a small songbird taking down an enormous invertebrate, tearing it into pieces and hiding these titbits ...
    SciBlogsBy Guest Author
    2 weeks ago
  • Referenda on Euthanasia – NZ First’s Victory – or a Major Miscalculation?
    . . NZ First’s success in putting the euthenasia bill to a public referenda may not be the victory they believe it to be. They may even have sounded the death-knell for a second Labour-NZ First-Green coalition. On 23 July this year, NZ First MP, Jenny Marcroft, submitted a Supplementary ...
    Frankly SpeakingBy Frank Macskasy
    2 weeks ago
  • Corbyn the Mighty vs BoJo the Clown
    Interesting contrasting pictures in the Guardian:Corbyn gets the classic positive shot - low angle and a clear background, making him look authoritative (of course, being Corbyn, he doesn't do authoritative very well).Where as Johnson gets pictured with children at some sort of mad-hatters' tea party:Begging the question, who is the ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Public health, externality, and vaccination
    Paternalism is contentious. Arguments for state action to protect us from ourselves are fraught. I come down pretty heavily on the anti-paternalism side of the argument, but I’ve heard respectable defences of paternalism. But policy around vaccination is hardly paternalistic. There’s a clear market failure that could be pointed to ...
    SciBlogsBy Eric Crampton
    2 weeks ago
  • Happy Halloween
    Its Halloween, so its time for annual pumpkin trepanning and chocolate eating ritual. ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago

  • Addressing miscarriages of justice
    Darroch Ball, Spokesperson for Justice New Zealand First is proud that a key Coalition Agreement commitment which will provide for a more transparent and effective criminal justice system has been realised. Legislation to establish the Criminal Cases Review Commission, an independent body focused on identifying and responding to possible miscarriages of ...
    5 hours ago
  • Week That Was: Historic action on climate change
    "Today we have made a choice that will leave a legacy... I hope that means that future generations will see that we, in New Zealand, were on the right side of history." - Jacinda Ardern, Third Reading of the Zero Carbon Bill ...
    5 days ago
  • Tax-free deployments for Kiwi troops
    Darroch Ball, New Zealand First List MP A Member’s bill has been proposed that would provide income tax exemptions for all New Zealand Defence Force (NZDF) personnel while on operational deployment overseas. The Income Tax (Exemption for Salary or Wages of NZDF Members on Active Deployment) Amendment Bill proposed by New Zealand First ...
    5 days ago
  • A balanced Zero Carbon Bill passed
    Rt Hon Winston Peters, New Zealand First Leader New Zealand First is proud to have brought common sense to the Climate Change Response (Zero Carbon) Amendment Bill, which passed its final reading in Parliament today. Party Leader Rt Hon Winston Peters says months of hard work went into negotiating a balanced ...
    6 days ago
  • Paramedics’ status to be recognised
    Jenny Marcroft MP, Spokesperson for Health New Zealand First has listened to calls to recognise paramedics as registered health professionals under the Health Practitioners’ Competence Assurance Act (the Act). Today, the Coalition Government announced plans for paramedics to be registered as health practitioners under the Act, and the establishment of a ...
    1 week ago
  • Week That Was: 2,000 teachers in two years
    We began the week by commemorating the New Zealand Wars and celebrating a major increase in the number of teachers. Then, we were busy supporting offenders into work and getting our rail back on track after years of underinvestment. And that's just the start! ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Winning an election one conversation at a time
    In October I was sworn in as the Mayor of Lower Hutt. It’s the privilege of my life to serve Hutt people as their Mayor. There is something really special to be able to serve the community where I was raised, and where I live.   ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Closer cooperation with Korean horse racing industry
    Rt Hon Winston Peters, Deputy Prime Minister, Minister for Racing Racing Minister Winston Peters met with Korea Racing Authority Chairperson Nak Soon Kim in Seoul today to discuss closer cooperation between the New Zealand and Korean horse racing industries. As part of the visit to the Seoul Racecourse, Mr Peters witnessed ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Otago to lead digital creativity
    Hon Shane Jones, Minister for Regional Economic Development The Provincial Growth Fund (PGF) is investing $10 million to establish Otago as the centre of New Zealand’s creative digital industry over the next ten years, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones announced today. “The initiative will bring us closer to the vision of ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Young Otago students encouraged to take on forestry careers
    Hon Shane Jones, Minister for Regional Economic Development The Provincial Growth Fund (PGF)’s skills and employment programme will help young Otago people into long-term forestry careers, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones announced today. Te Ara Mahi will invest $63,000 in the 2020 school year to support eight 17 and 18 ...
    2 weeks ago
  • PGF backing Dunedin’s waterfront ambitions
    Hon Shane Jones, Minister for Regional Economic Development The Provincial Growth Fund (PGF) will support local plans to revitalise and stimulate economic development opportunities in Otago, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones has announced. The four Regional Economic Development Ministers have approved an in-principle investment of $19.9 million towards the region’s ...
    2 weeks ago
  • M. Bovis eradication progress welcomed
    Mark Patterson, Spokesperson for Primary Industries New Zealand First is pleased to have received the Technical Advisory Group (TAG) report on the Coalition Government’s Mycoplasma bovis eradication efforts, which shows significant progress in the fight against the disease. New Zealand First Spokesperson for Primary Industries, Mark Patterson, says the report’s findings ...
    2 weeks ago
  • PGF boosts Otago’s engineering and manufacturing sector
    Hon Shane Jones, Minister for Regional Economic Development Hon David Parker, Minister for Trade and Export Growth The Provincial Growth Fund (PGF) is investing to support economic growth opportunities for Otago’s engineering and manufacturing sectors, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones and Trade and Export Minister David Parker announced today. Almost $20 million ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Minister Peters discusses Pacific challenges and denuclearisation in Seoul
    Rt Hon Winston Peters, Deputy Prime Minister, Minister of Foreign Affairs Foreign Minister Winston Peters and his South Korean counterpart, Kang Kyung-wha, discussed in Seoul today opportunities to work more closely in the Pacific and the situation on the Korean Peninsula. Mr Peters and Minister Kang confirmed New Zealand and the ...
    2 weeks ago
  • PGF supports high speed broadband for marae at Parihaka Pa
    Hon Shane Jones, Minister for Regional Economic Development  Hon Nanaia Mahuta, Minister for Māori Development The three marae in the historic Parihaka Pa complex in Taranaki have been upgraded to high speed broadband with the support of the Provincial Growth Fund (PGF), Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones announced today. “Connecting the ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Advancing Pacific Partnerships 2019 launched
    Hon Ron Mark, Minister of Defence Minister of Defence Ron Mark will today launch the Advancing Pacific Partnerships 2019 Defence Assessment  during a speech at Te Papa.  The Assessment outlines how Defence will partner with our Pacific Island neighbours and invest in Pacific regional security architecture. The Plan aligns with the Coalition ...
    2 weeks ago
  • PGF funding could transform Gisborne company into “beacon of employment” in two years
    A new Provincial Growth Fund investment could create about 80 new jobs in Gisborne over the next two years, turning a local small business into a “beacon of employment” in the process. Regional Economic Development Parliamentary Under-Secretary Fletcher Tabuteau said the PGF’s Te Ara Mahi funding stream would provide $1.6m ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Week That Was: Two years of progress
    This week, we’re taking action on climate change, expanding trades education – and celebrating two years of progress! ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Minister of Foreign Affairs to visit the Republic of Korea and Japan
    Rt Hon Winston Peters, Deputy Prime Minister, Minister of Foreign Affairs Minister of Foreign Affairs Winston Peters will travel to the Republic of Korea and Japan next week. “The Republic of Korea and Japan are two of New Zealand’s closest partners in the region with whom we share common values and ...
    3 weeks ago
  • New Zealand to lead Bougainville Referendum Regional Police Support Mission
    Rt Hon Winston Peters, Deputy Prime Minister, Minister of Foreign Affairs Minister of Foreign Affairs Winston Peters has announced today that New Zealand is leading a police support mission in Bougainville as the region prepares to vote in a non-binding referendum on its political future. “New Zealand has accepted an invitation ...
    3 weeks ago
  • We’re taking action on climate change
    “I refuse to accept the challenge of climate change is too hard to solve.” – Jacinda Ardern ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Shane Jones annoyed at “elevated sense of entitlement from a lot of immigrant leaders”
    New Zealand First MP Shane Jones is defending Immigration New Zealand (INZ) after it instructed officials to stop granting visas as an exception to instructions. He has also lashed out at immigrant leaders upset with the tightening of the rules, saying they had an “elevated sense of entitlement”. Members of ...
    3 weeks ago
  • New Zealand public likely to vote on euthanasia bill thanks to NZ First
    A change to the End of Life Choice Bill was passed in Parliament, meaning if politicians decide to vote for the law it must be approved by the public first. A binding referendum was a condition insisted on by New Zealand First, and Jenny Marcroft’s supplementary order paper (SOP) successfully ...
    3 weeks ago

  • Extension for Royal Commission into Mosque attacks
    The Royal Commission into the Attacks on Christchurch Mosques will report back on 30 April 2020 to give it more time to hear submissions and consider information, Internal Affairs Minister Tracey Martin announced today. The Royal Commission was originally scheduled to report back to Government by 10 December 2019. “There has ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 hours ago
  • Terrorism and Trade on agenda as Foreign Minister visits the United States
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters will travel to Washington DC today to attend a ministerial meeting focused on defeating ISIS, and to continue pursuing New Zealand’s trade opportunities. Mr Peters will participate in a meeting of Foreign and Defence Ministers from key countries contributing to the Global Coalition to Defeat ISIS. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 hours ago
  • Hoiho get extra support alongside 168 community conservation groups backing nature
    The recently crowned Bird of the Year, the hoiho/yellow eyed penguin, is getting a much needed helping hand alongside more than 168 other community conservation projects announced Minister for Conservation Eugenie Sage today. 168 community conservation projects throughout New Zealand are benefiting from $8 million in government grants, including $500,000 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 hours ago
  • New safety measures for modified pistols
    Controls on assault rifles and semi-automatic firearms are to be broadened to include some types of pistols, under changes to a bill currently making its way through Parliament. Police Minister Stuart Nash has tabled a Supplementary Order Paper to the Arms Legislation Bill, which is currently before a Select Committee ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 hours ago
  • Minister of Defence to visit Singapore and Thailand
    Minister of Defence Ron Mark will travel to Singapore today to conduct a counterpart visit and to co-chair the third annual Singapore-New Zealand Defence Ministers’ Meeting with his counterpart, Minister for Defence Dr Ng Eng Hen. “Singapore is one of our most important defence partners in the region, and our ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 hours ago
  • Future secured for Salisbury School
    Nelson’s Salisbury School is to be rebuilt, creating a modern and suitable learning environment for students at the residential special school, Education Minister Chris Hipkins and Associate Education Minister Tracey Martin announced today. The school for girls aged 8-15, in Richmond, was earmarked for closure by National until the process ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 hours ago
  • Resource management reform options released
    The panel undertaking a comprehensive review of the Resource Management Act has identified the main issues to be addressed and options for reform and is calling for feedback to inform its final report.  In July the Government announced the comprehensive review of the resource management system, including the RMA - ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 hours ago
  • Criminal Cases Review Commission established
    An important safety valve has been added to New Zealand’s criminal justice system with the third reading of the Criminal Cases Review Commission Bill today. The Criminal Cases Review Commission (CCRC) will investigate claimed miscarriages of justice. “We’ve seen how our justice system can very occasionally get things spectacularly wrong, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    17 hours ago
  • Racing Industry destined to be on-track
    Racing Minister Winston Peters welcomes the tabling of the Racing Industry Transition Agency (RITA) 2019 Annual Report in Parliament today. He says the 2019 Annual Report marks the point when New Zealand’s racing industry’s decline was arrested and a turnaround started. RITA’s 2019 Annual Report recorded an industry net profit ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    23 hours ago
  • New Zealand firefighter support to Queensland
    The New Zealand Government is today sending 21 firefighters to help fight the ongoing catastrophic Australian bushfires. “The fires in Australia are in some of the toughest, most challenging conditions ever,” says Internal Affairs Minister Tracey Martin.  “As of yesterday morning, there were 100 active bushfire-related incidents across Queensland and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Supporting all schools to succeed
      More frontline support for schools through a new education agency, as part of a redesigned Ministry of Education More support for principals and school boards including through a new centre of leadership and local leadership advisor roles New independent disputes panels for parents and students Management of school property ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Reform to support better outcomes for Māori learners and whānau
    The Government’s reform of the Tomorrow’s Schools system is a watershed moment in education and an opportunity to create meaningful change for ākonga Māori and their whānau, Associate Education Minister Kelvin Davis said today. “Last year through Kōrero Mātauranga | Education Conversation, Māori teachers, parents, ākonga, whānau, hapū and iwi ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Infrastructure pipeline growing
    Infrastructure Minister is welcoming the first of many updated project pipelines from the newly established New Zealand Infrastructure Commission today. The New Zealand Infrastructure Commission, Te Waihanga, has released an expanded pipeline of major capital projects – another crucial step towards delivering better infrastructure outcomes. “The first iteration of the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Tighter firearms law to further improve safety
    Tougher gun laws designed to improve public safety through firearms prohibition orders are proposed in a new document released for public input. Police Minister Stuart Nash says firearms prohibition orders (FPOs) would give new powers to Police to ensure high-risk individuals come nowhere near firearms. “We have already prohibited the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • New TVNZ chair & directors confirmed
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