Dear John… UPDATED

Written By: - Date published: 6:11 pm, April 22nd, 2015 - 65 comments
Categories: uncategorized - Tags: ,

Today the National Council of Women and the Equal Opportunity Commissioner and the Human Rights Commission have felt compelled to explain how to behave correctly toward others. To the Prime Minister of New Zealand.

To those who say it’s a storm in a teacup, an over reaction, I say:

It’s time you grew up and learned to respect women and children in particular, and men and boys too. It’s time you understand that if you are having fun with someone else, “horsing around”, it is only fun if they are having fun too. It’s not always all about you. I know you want it to be. I know you find it hard to share. I know you find it hard to have to respect other people that aren’t like you. I can see you find it hard to think about others before you speak and act. But, here’s the rub. It’s only hard for you and people like you. Everyone else gets it. When the Prime Minister doesn’t get it (think about that for a moment  the Prime MINISTER DOESN’T GET IT!), then we are not over- reacting. We have a problem. All of us, and that problem extends to include those who don’t think it is a problem. You are part of the problem and you are harming women and children in ways you do not yet comprehend. In small ways, maybe even daily.

So, is there a pattern…

Richard Worth resigned, not sacked for persistent sexual harassment;

Roast-busters just need to grow up;

I wont apologise for being a man in the context of sexual violence toward women being perpetuated by mostly men;

Comment about his wife’s IRD form (“stud screwer” as her occupation);

Victim of attempted rape, Tania Billingsley, promised apology-apology not given cos not serious enough;

Conveyed to Chillean Leader it was funny that a pedophile was let loose by NZ in her country;

Sabin promoted to Law and Order Committee Chair with a police investigation hanging over him for as yet unconfirmed acts;

Someone from PM’s office tacitly supporting former CERA CEO, Sutton’s version of events at resignation press conference for sexual harassment;

Fondling child’s  pony tail during campaign 2014;

Behaviour of an unconsented nature for months involving a stranger’s pony tail;

UPDATED  And this one

UPDATED 3:11pm 23/04/201 And another one fingering another little girl’s hair. Not a ponytail but braids. Very brief at 2:15.
  (h/t ianmac)

UPDATED 3:21pm Note the expression on his face. Playful?

But while Women’s Minister Louise Upston released a statement repeating Key’s apology, she refused to comment on issues of women’s rights in the workplace. 

“As the Prime Minister has said his actions were intended to be light-hearted. It was never his intention to make her feel uncomfortable,” she said.

Prime Minister John Key apologised to Auckland waitress Amanda Bailey for repeatedly pulling her hair.

 “He said that in hindsight it wasn’t appropriate, and that is why he apologised.”  Louise Upston Fraudulently taking taxpayer money to pretend to masquerade as Minister for Womens Affairs

Now consider …

What exactly do you have to consider?

65 comments on “Dear John… UPDATED”

  1. Hateatea 1

    I would like John Key to consider whether or not he still feels fit to be the Prime Minister of New Zealand but in the real world that I live in it will probably be ‘ackshully, I thought she liked it so I did it again and again because, ackshully, no doesn’t really mean no, does it? It does mean no? Here, have some bottles of wine and then we will all be ok. Ok?’

  2. Karen 2

    Thank you for this Tracey. You have summed it up perfectly.

  3. You have to consider whether you’re an adult who thinks this culture of harassment in government is acceptable, even if it’s not all overtly rapey or directly sexualised harassment, the attitude boils down to the same thing: You don’t think you need someone’s consent to violate their personal space or their bodies.

    That’s not an okay meme to be engaged in. It’s a big deal if you give any shit about women being respected, or about respect in general.

  4. esoteric pineapples 4

    What a lot of men don’t understand is that what seems harmless to them becomes a big problem for women when it is repeated again and again by other men they deal with. They have no idea of the amount of times female staff who work in cafes and restaurants get hit on by males. They think they are the only ones.

    • weka 4.1

      Some men also apparently don’t understand power differentials. Or they do but don’t care (which I think is the case in this situation).

      • This is my sense too, weka. It’s not good-natured obliviousness – if it were he would have stopped the first time his actions weren’t welcomed. It’s entitlement, based on gender, wealth, status … take your pick.

    • Anna 4.2

      My guy gets it from women and he hates it – e.g. touching him like what has happened on Breakfast, TV One, this am. Women need to get it that guys don’t always like it either.

      • tracey 4.2.1

        Understood which is why the bit in quotes in the post begins

        “It’s time you grew up and learned to respect women and children in particular, and men and boys too.”

  5. weka 5

    Good list tracey. Well done the NCW on that letter too.

  6. Craig Glen Eden 6

    Well done Tracey you have nailed it.

  7. meconism 7

    Thanks Tracey, I agree with your assessment and thank you for posting it.

  8. Murray Rawshark 8

    Key thinks he’s entitled to do whatever he likes. It’s no surprise to me that he includes inappropriate touching in that. He has the arrogance of royalty. How the hell did so many of us fall for the dangerous idiot?

    • Sable 8.1

      You can thank the wheezy, verbally flatulent, sad old huckster that is NZ mainstream media for that. They have been saying he’s wonderful come what may…..

      • Murray Rawshark 8.1.1

        I suspect it would have started much earlier, even before he got rich. I doubt if anyone has really said “no” to him until the waitress. He would have been unfamiliar with the concept.

  9. jenny kirk 9

    Thank you Tracey. I totally agree with you. What can we do about our shameful PM ?

  10. In Vino 10

    Well said, Tracy.

    I am a secondary school teacher, and I so rarely see hair-pulling. I tend to ask them if they are still at the Primary/Intermediate school down the road when I see immaturity like that.

    I am cautious about calling for resignation, but the video from Campbell live makes our PM look a bit freaky.

    Either this is a surprising chip in the Teflon, or CT and Nats are going to come up with some startling cover or distraction…

    Unless it is a two-day wonder and nobody thinks much about it after that… But the freakiness is new, and may have far more influence than all the arguments about hungry children and income disparity should have had.

    If so, an even sadder commentary.

    • Lanthanide 10.1

      “Either this is a surprising chip in the Teflon, or CT and Nats are going to come up with some startling cover or distraction…”

      Like Anzac day, although it’s would be in bad taste to say they engineered the 1st world war.

      • In Vino 10.1.1

        Not just bad taste. It would be dirty politics on the part of the Left, especially if convincing proof were provided.

  11. rawshark-yeshe 11

    @Tracey .. did you see there are now four confirmed pony tail fondlings by Key … here

    Open mike 22/04/2015

    Fine post you have written .. thx.

    • Tracey 11.1

      Rawshark, I can only see the same ponytail incident referred to several times. It’s the one I refer to in my post as the campaign 14 child ponytail caress. Perhaps I misunderstood what you meant?

      • rawshark-yeshe 11.1.1

        Hi Tracey .. some of us counted four proven ( if we count Amanda Bailey as a single one).

        1. Waitress Amanda Bailey at Rosie.

        2. The clip repeated on Campbell Live ( three children with adult woman in background) your campaign 14 child caress.

        3. The photo on Amy Adams website plus its caption

        4. The TVNZ clip … but are you saying this #4 and #2 are the same clip ?

        Then it’s three, not four.

        original conversation yesterday ../daily-review-22042014/#comment-1003639

      • rawshark-yeshe 11.1.2

        Tracey .. hope you see this ( so much going on!) but there is another TVNZ clip so there are definitely four confirmed separate incidents ( still counting Amanda Bailey as a single one)’.

        Here is the extra clip with a little girl with pigtail braids and it is clearly fondling, not pulling … and the dialogue is just too creepy now :

        http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/ponytail-saga-herald-admits-confusion-but-denies-deception-over-waitress-approach-6297557

        • rawshark-yeshe 11.1.2.1

          @Tracey … have just seen your updates .. there are five confirmed images now.

          ( and the link I post above is working; the link you have at the top is not working to TVNZ .. they keep changing it around)

          1, Amanda Bailey

          2. TVNZ link of Campbell Live clip .. blonde ponytail with mother in background.

          3. Amy Adams page photo

          4. The dark braids with face obscured, TVNZ link above at 11.1.2

          5. Your updated 3.21 link you have of Key with his finger through a little girl’s dark curls. And no, I don’t think any sane person could categorise Key;s expression as ‘playful’. He is a pedo and adult hair fetishist. Yikes.

          @Tracey .. can you pse acknowledge this total so I know you have seen it ? Thx

  12. Mad Plumber 12

    If someone played with my daughters ponytail he would be called a pervert and just find himself answering to the police I would hope. BUT because he is the PM I would be wasting my time.
    The whole episode is abuse of power, would I be brave enough to take on the PM and take the abuse and digging into my back ground?
    The waitress needs support because any dirt in her background will be looked for and flung back.
    Did the owner and other staff members feel intimidated?

  13. Reddelusion 13

    Yawn yet another over reaction from the left that middle nz just won’t care, have your day of rage and move on, nothing to see here

    • In Vino 13.1

      Ahhh, defending a possible fetishist, huh?

      If JK does actually get hurt by this sensational scandal sort of thing, I will be depressed. It should have been for income disparity, social injustice, hungry children, etc. O tempora, O mores!

      • Murray Rawshark 13.1.1

        There are plenty of fetishists who only ever act out their fetiches consensually. FJK is not one of them.

    • Draco T Bastard 13.2

      It’s made the international headlines which does kinda indicate that people do care.

    • tricledrown 13.3

      Blue Looney defending the indefensible

      • seeker 13.3.1

        Not so sure reddelusion , this is a step far too far. Hair today gone tomorrow please God….
        I think ‘nice Mr. Key’ may need some therapy or counselling of the highest order for his very disturbing behaviour …for all our sakes.

    • ropata 13.4

      you have nothing of substance delusional.
      all you do is hate on the left and anybody who speaks for the powerless.
      haters gonna hate.

      your shitty little neocon club has had its day in the sun and now its a dry crumbling turd.
      useful idiots like you still love the smell.

      key is a sick f*ck and you’re a bigoted arsehole.
      got it?

    • Tracey 13.5

      yea respecting other people and not touching people without consent is not important. Remember to tell your children reddelusion.

    • Merrial 13.6

      @ Reddelusion: “Yawn yet another over reaction from the left that middle nz just won’t care, have your day of rage and move on, nothing to see here”

      Well, you would say that, wouldn’t you?

  14. adam 14

    I think Tracy this song just sums up our PM. And much of his and others disconnect.

    • Tracey 14.1

      Creepy is spot on. I think all the people who are saying it’s nothing need to ask themselves a simple question

      when was the last time I consistently tugged on a stranger, even after I knew they wanted me to stop?

      For most the answer will be not since I was a child. If they answer that one question honestly, they will see.

  15. AmaKiwi 15

    I’m getting some yellow yarn, making it into a pin-on pony tail, and wearing it to my next protest rally.

    Can some of you creative types come up with a sign I can pin to it?

    His p.r. crew have tried to get his pony tail fetish out of the news ASAP. It’s our job to not let him brush it aside.

  16. Adrian 16

    Don’t call it ponytail pulling, that makes it sound laddish, it’s (in the vids I’ve seen ) fondling, and it’s creepy and deviant.
    Oh, and he’s got to be finished this is just too, too far down weird as fuck track.

  17. Gruntie 17

    Pony tailing pulling fetish probably the tip of the iceberg – If Key is capable to doing this in a public place in the presence of Bronagh, what other “horsing around” stuff is he in to on overseas trips, in the privacy of his hotel room ?

    • Paul 17.1

      I agree. All these incidents are done with cameras going off in front of him.
      When they go, what does he think acceptable then?

  18. linda 18

    perverted weirdos are called Johns

  19. Ken Martin 19

    Usually creeps’ sleezy repulsive behaviour is well established earlier on in their lives. Most rich and powerful people have a bloated sense of entitlement. What is disturbing about Mr Key’s ponytail blunders is the lack of gumption shown by his minders. The Diplomatic Protection Squad members could, being sworn police officers, have officially warned Mr Key. Too concerned about being transferred from a cushy job to do so? Deference and toadying reign. Mr Key’s teflon coating is wearing thin.

  20. veutoviper 20

    For Tracey – yet another instance of Key and his hair touching to add to those in the post itself.

  21. Hami Shearlie 21

    Heard the name Uncle Pervy – says it all really!!

    • veutoviper 22.1

      OMG!

    • Merrial 22.2

      @ idlegus: Oh god, that last pic puts me in mind of a shot from late in the war of Hitler leering at a Hitler Youthist and ruffling his hair. This is so reminiscent! Sorry to introduce a form of Godwinism into the thread: it wasn’t intentional, but there it is: the resemblance is inescapable. My household agrees…

  22. feijoa 23

    I’m getting alot of “webpage not available” Hope someone is taking screenshots………

  23. rawshark-yeshe 24

    Tracey .. you better see the images from Bali that tv3 played on news tonight .. much more than we have seen ….shocking actually they even said he was being called a fetishist !! legally very interesting.

  24. humPrac 25

    It reminds me of US Senator Joe Biden, look at the videos in the following links:


    There’s many examples of him doing this.

  25. aj 26

    I suspect John Oliver is going to be all over this shortly 🙂
    It be all over then.

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    Those close to the Police Minister believe the initiative may be the result of Nash “seeing a great deal” on AliExpress. In a move that comes seemingly out of nowhere, Police Minister Stuart Nash announced this afternoon that he expects all frontline staff to don bearskin hats, famously worn by ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    1 week ago
  • A sensible crackdown
    The government has released its Arms Legislation Bill, containing the second tranche of changes to gun laws following the March 15 massacre. And it all looks quite sensible: a national gun register, higher penalties for illegal possession and dealing, tighter restrictions on arms dealers and shooting clubs, and a shorter ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • California bans private prisons
    Private prisons are a stain on humanity. Prison operators explicitly profit from human misery, then lobby for longer prisons terms so they can keep on profiting. And in the US, prison companies run not only local and state prisons, but also Donald Trump's immigration concentration camps. Faced with this moral ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Why PPPs are a bad idea
    When National was in power, they were very keen on Public-Private Partnerships (PPPs) - basicly, using private companies to finance public infrastructure as a way of hiding debt from the public. They were keen on using them for everything - roads, schools, hospitals. But as the UK shows, that "service" ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • A Movement That No Longer Moves.
    Moving And Shaking: There was a time when people spoke matter-of-factly about the “labour movement” – a political phenomenon understood to embrace much more than the Labour Party. Included within the term’s definition was the whole trade union movement – many of whose members looked upon the Labour Party as ...
    1 week ago
  • NZ ‘left’ politically embracing extreme postmodernism
    by Philip Ferguson Much of the left, even people who formally identify as marxists, have collapsed politically in the face of postmodern gender theory of the sort pioneered by American philosopher Judith Butler. For Butler even biological sex is socially constructed. “If the immutable character of sex is contested, perhaps ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago
  • The obvious question
    The media is reporting that the (alleged) Labour party sexual assaulter has resigned from their job at Parliament, which means hopefully he won't be turning up there making people feel unsafe in future. Good. But as with everything about this scandal, it just raises other questions. Most significantly: why the ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • The moment I found out that you found out, I acted swiftly
    By Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern I am every bit as angry as you are. I am every bit as disappointed as you must be. The people with power, oversight and the ability to do something about these processes within the Labour Party should be ashamed. Whoever those people are, I ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    1 week ago
  • This is why people hate property developers
    Property developers think there is an "oversupply" of houses in Auckland:High turnover rates and falling prices may be a sign that there are too many new houses going in to some parts of Auckland, commentators say. [...] Property developer David Whitburn said there was a "bit of an oversupply" in ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Australia to Pacific: “Fuck you, you can all drown”
    World leaders are meeting in New York in two weeks for the 2019 Climate Action Summit, where they are expected to announce new and more ambitious targets to stop the world from burning. But the Australian Prime Minister won't be there, despite being in the USA at the time:Scott Morrison ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Implausible ignorance
    Labour Party president Nigel Haworth resigned yesterday over the party's sexual assault scandal. But while that's good news, its unlikely to take away the stench of a coverup. Because according to Paula Bennett in Parliament yesterday, pretty much everyone in the Prime Minister's office was involved as well:I have been ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Labour’s Fatal Flaw.
     Two-Faced? Labour insiders' commitment to the neoliberal status quo puts them at odds with their party’s membership; its trade union affiliates; and a majority of Labour voters, but this only serves to strengthen the perception they have of themselves as a special elite. Among the lesser breeds, they’ll talk up a ...
    1 week ago
  • Ten reasons the Tories do NOT want an election
    There has been a lot of talk about Boris Johnson wanting an election, and he has blustered with great gusto about 'chicken' Jeremy Corbyn refusing one, but I think there are many reasons why he is secretly glad he has been refused the opportunity:The Tories are an utter rabble,tearing themselves ...
    1 week ago
  • Prorogation Illegal, rule Scottish judges
    Scottish appeal court judges have declared that Boris Johnson’s decision to suspend parliament in the run-up to the October Brexit deadline is unlawful. The three judges, chaired by Lord Carloway, Scotland’s most senior judge, overturned an earlier ruling that the courts did not have the powers to interfere in the prime ...
    1 week ago
  • Let me explain what I meant by Everyday New Zealanders
    By Simon Bridges. The following is a press release from the office of Simon Bridges, leader of The National Party. Key ora, New Zealand. Happy Maori Language Week. Look, I’m writing to you today because I want to clear something up. There’s been a lot of kerfuffle around some things ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    1 week ago
  • Yes, the SIS is subject to the Public Records Act
    I understand there's some stuff going round about how the SIS "was removed from the list of public offices covered by the Public Records Act in 2017". The context of course being their records derived from US torture, which will be disposed of or sealed. The good news is that ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • An evidence-based discussion of the Canadian fluoride/IQ study
    Dr. Christopher Labos and Jonathan Jarry discuss the recent Canadian fluoride/IQ research. They provide an expert analysis of the paper and its problems. Click on image to go to podcast. The critical debate about the recent ...
    1 week ago
  • Climate Change: Australia in denial
    Australia is burning down again, and meanwhile its natural disaster minister is denying climate change:Australia’s minister responsible for drought and natural disasters, David Littleproud, has said that he doesn’t “know if climate change is manmade”. Clarifying earlier comments that the question is “irrelevant” when considering the Coalition government’s response to ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Philippines activist speaking on the Duterte tyranny
    Auckland Philippines Solidarity is excited to host Professor Judy Taguiwalo for a speaking tour of NZ in September. She is a well-known activist in the Philippines and was a political prisoner under the Marcos dictatorship. Professor Taguiwalo briefly served as a Cabinet member under President Duterte but was forced from ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago
  • Disgust
    I have no special insights to offer on the Labour sexual assault coverup. All I have is disgust. Disgust that an organisation could fail its people so badly. Disgust that they punished the victims rather than the perpetrator. Disgust that its party hacks are apparently blaming the victims for demanding ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Speak Up for Women calls out Greens’ censorship
    This open letter to the Green Party was penned after an opinion piece by Jill Abigail, a feminist and founding member of the party, was censored by the Greens’ leadership. (Redline has reprinted her article here).The intolerance of the Green Party leaders and their acceptance of the misogyny of gender ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago
  • Member’s Day: End of Life Choice, part 3
    Today is a Member's day, and David Seymour's End of Life Choice Bill continues its slow crawl through its committee stage. They're spending the whole day on it today, though the first hour is likely to be spent on voting left over from last time. After that they'll move on ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Flight to Los Angeles turned back after passengers decide they don’t want to go anymore
    An ambitious plan to fly to Los Angeles petered out into a brief sight-seeing trip and a desire to return home and get some sleep before work tomorrow. Air New Zealand has confirmed a flight to Los Angeles last night was turned back about a quarter of the way into ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    1 week ago
  • Indigenous Futures: defuturing and futuring – an analytical framework for policy development?
    There appears to be consensus – by omission – that the concept of indigenous futures should be accepted at face value. So I scavenged the internet to see if I could locate an academic descriptor or a framework around how we think about it as a concept, and whether it ...
    EllipsisterBy Ellipsister
    2 weeks ago
  • Cadbury rumoured to be releasing the Pineapple Trump
    Here’s another novelty chocolate to shove in your gob, New Zealand Cadbury could be seeking to make itself great again with a rumoured new release: Pineapple Trumps, a spin on its classic chocolate-encased pineapple treat and do-it-yourself tooth remover. The global confectionery manufacturer and bumbling “before” character in an infomercial, ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • The coming resource war.
    During my time in the Pentagon I had the privilege of sitting down with military leaders and defence and security officials from a variety of Latin American nations. Sometimes I was present as a subordinate assistant to a senior US defence department official, sometimes as part of a delegation that ...
    KiwipoliticoBy Pablo
    2 weeks ago
  • Māori Language Week with The Civilian
    Kia ora, Aotearoa. It’s that magical time of year. Te Wiki o te Reo Māori. In English, the week that frightens talk radio. As you probably know by now, all your favourite media outlets are participating, some more successfully than others. Stuff has changed its name to Puna for the ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Will Horizons act on climate change?
    Local body elections are coming up next month. And it looks like all Palmerston North candidates for Horizons (the Manawatu-Whanganui Regional Council) want to take action on climate change:Climate change is set to be a key issue in Palmerston North for the next three years if those wanting to get ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • BORA reform is stalled
    Eighteen months ago, the government promised to strengthen the Bill of Rights Act, by explicitly affirming the power of the courts to issue declarations of inconsistency and requiring Parliament to formally respond to them. So how's that going? I was curious, so I asked for all advice about the proposal. ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Corbyn and Brexit
    As the Brexit saga staggers on, the focus is naturally enough on the Prime Minister and his attempts to achieve Brexit “do or die”. But the role played by the Leader of the Opposition is of almost equal interest and complexity. The first problem for Jeremy Corbyn is that he ...
    Bryan GouldBy Bryan Gould
    2 weeks ago
  • A ditch for him to die in
    Last week, English Prime Minister Boris Johnson boldly declared that he would rather die be dead in a ditch than delay Brexit. Unfortunately for him, the UK parliament accepted the challenge, and promptly dug one for him. The "rebellion bill" requires him to ask for and secure yet another temporary ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Warning! Warning! Danger Jacinda Ardern! Danger Marama Davidson! Warning!
    Lost In Political Space: The most important takeaway from this latest Labour sexual assault scandal, which (if I may paraphrase Nixon’s White House counsel’s, John Dean’s, infamous description of Watergate) is “growing like a cancer” on the premiership, is the Labour Party organisation’s extraordinary professional paralysis in the face of ...
    2 weeks ago

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