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Dim-Post: Gerry Brownlee to rebuild city

Written By: - Date published: 2:22 pm, April 12th, 2011 - 10 comments
Categories: disaster, Gerry Brownlee, humour - Tags: ,

The reconstruction of Christchurch will be directed by Gerry Brownlee, the Dim-Post can report.

Mr Brownlee, a National Cabinet Minister and former woodwork teacher will have authority over the rebuilding of the 19th Century cathedral city that suffered severe damage in an earthquake on the 22nd of February.

The first phases of the reconstruction have already begun, with the deliberate demolition of many businesses with their stock and computer equipment still inside them and the unauthorised destruction of several heritage buildings that suffered no serious damage.

‘We have to get Christchurch’s businesses up and running and work closely with the business community,’ said Brownlee as enraged business owners rioted in the streets…

… more at Dim-Post

10 comments on “Dim-Post: Gerry Brownlee to rebuild city”

  1. Armchair Critic 1

    Yay, the Greens will oppose CERA!
    http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/christchurch-earthquake/4876990/Greens-oppose-Christchurch-earthquake-recovery-bill
    Only one problem, and that’s the defeatist language used by Metiria Turei here:
    “This Bill gives Gerry Brownlee extensive powers over a five year period”
    No, it gives him extensive powers until November.  Hopefully he will then become an opposition spokesperson.  By saying Mr Brownlee holds these powers for five years it is implied the Greens think National will win the next two elections, and that’s the wrong message to be putting out there.

    • toad 1.1

      No, you’ve missed Metiria’s point, Armchair Critic.  The way I read it, the Bill gives Gerry Brownlee the power to ignore the next election result and entrench himself with dictatorial powers as the Minister in charge of the Canterbury recovery regardless.

      • Armchair Critic 1.1.1

        Yeah?  I’m not convinced, toad.  Before I go on, I reckon the Greens have pretty much got my vote in November.  Please run a good campaign in Coromandel.
        Back to the subject at hand.
        The Bill may well give Gerry Brownlee the power to suspend democracy, again.  The quotes from Metiria in the Stuff article are about public consultation, and checks and balances.  If she did say something about dictatorial powers it wasn’t reported here.
        First time I read it I thought to have extensive powers for five years, National and Gerry would have to win enough seats to form the government later on this year.  If you think the quoted comments don’t read that way, so be it.  I reckon it sounds just a little defeatist.

    • Rich 1.2

      Well, how many elections is it going to take for Labour to grow a pair (balls or ovaries, I care not which) or for them to implode and leave the Greens to become opposition party?

      It’s at least positive that the Greens no longer feel obliged to cravenly support any government crap that has the “disaster” tag pinned to it.

  2. Steve Withers 2

    The price of my electricity has gone up *25%* per unit since Gerry Brownlee was made Minister of Energy, promising cheaper power. Looks like another example of National saying one thing…and doing the opposite.

  3. higherstandard 3

    I hear he’s going to convert the Christchurch CBD into a giant Georgie Pie with a special enclave for Hutts …… nom nom nom

  4. toad 4

    Fuck, I’m surprise you folk at The Standard took so long to pick this up it was an April Fools effort.
    It is one of the best satirical pieces I have ever read. Satire should be as close to the truth as possible.  But this is the truth, pure and simple.

    • r0b 4.1

      It sat in the queue for many days, waiting to find a gap!  But yeah, it’s a scary piece all right…

      • lprent 4.1.1

        Yeah. The queue is getting pretty scary at present. Looks like 4 scheduled and 3 written posts (including one of mine) and a pile of guest posts in the mail. Then there are always the 340 other posts in the drafts queue. But at present fewer posts is better…

        But I should be taking possession of the new server tonight so we can get off the CPU treadmill that the election windup and recent changes have managed to get. I got rid of the excess page views from the facebook/IE bug and we’re still getting too much traffic.

  5. prism 5

    I heard on radionz that the Christchurch city council weren’t given reasonable notice that there was going to be a select committee meeting in the city.  Well dictators don’t bother with things like that.  It cuts down on pesky time-wasting discussion.  After all we know what we want to do and have the powers to do it.  Consultation pah!

    And our governments have been known to issue papers for discussion just before Christmas to be processed early in January.   It’s not a good look.  We didn’t have a thoroughgoing democracy before, now government rides roughshod over us.
    The Wraiths have arisen from the dark corners and are taking over NZ.  We may need the brave little Hobbits to be our mascots and rallying points.

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