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Focused on what matters

Written By: - Date published: 11:51 am, November 13th, 2010 - 31 comments
Categories: Media, Minister for Overseas Holidays - Tags: , , ,

John Key has been on holiday in Japan for the last few days ahead of APEC while the real international leaders are in Korea for the G20. Key is keen to have a ‘pull-aside’ with Obama but, now, disaster: the US has limited the number of Kiwi media that can cover the smiling and waving.

The US has decreed that media coverage will be limited to one still photographer per country. It’s almost as if Obama wants to get ahead with the substantive talks about the economic future of the Asia-Pacific region without APEC descending into mere photo ops for little players who hope some of the big guys’ mana will rub off on them if the folks back home see them shaking hands.

Naturally, Key isn’t too happy about that. He has called in his chief negotiator to fight this vital issue of New Zealand.

And fair enough. If a half-pint, vacuous leader of a small country shakes hands with the big leaders who don’t remember his name and no-one is there to take pictures, was there any point in him being there at all?

PS. loved this from BR in comments yesterday:

Key (to aide): Okey dokey Mike let’s practice. You stand there and pretend to be Obama

Aide: Ok

Key: Now, I’ll come up to you and do the pull-aside

(Key walks up to aide, smiles and waves)

Key: Mr President! How nice to see you. Do you have a moment to discuss your argicultural subsidies?

Aide: Hi John. Look, sorry, I’ve got to talk to China about the reformation of the global economic system that will take us forward for the next half a century through a time of huge enviromental and political uncertainty.

Key: Mike! You’re doing it wrong!

31 comments on “Focused on what matters”

  1. r0b 1

    Key has called the limit “disappointing” and undertaken to reverse it.

    But last night NZ’s chief negotiator at the talks had been called in to try and change the US’s mind, after a rebuff from the White House.

    Key is keen to get maximum coverage for the meeting, which will likely see him exchange a few words with US President Barack Obama.

    Pathetic. Embarrassing.

    • Marty G 1.1

      but he’ll be exchanging a few words, r0b. Do you know what that could mean for our dairy industry?

      Neither do I but it deserves to be recorded for the ages… I mean on the front page of the Herald.

    • Lanthanide 1.2

      “John Key will draw on his experience as a former foreign exchange dealer this weekend to urge Asia-Pacific leaders to avoid a currency war that could crimp world growth and damage small economies like New Zealand.”

      Doubly so. As if a “former currency trader” from a tinpot country like NZ who has been in the office for just over 2 years is going to tell these leaders something they didn’t already know. Frankly drawing attention to his previous job is more of a detriment to him than anything else, IMO.

      • Jim Nald 1.2.1

        Hey, someone’s got to express gratitude and go on defensive !

      • Bright Red 1.2.2

        quite. as if key knows more about the macroeconomics of currency than the others and their advisors – he’s not some guru from the wilds of NZ there to enlighten the overwrought fools.

        anyway, a foreign exchange trader would be loving it right now, major volatilities mean fortunes to be made

        • Jim Nald

          Maybe a photographer can point the camera to state leaders interviewing their telephones when the currency expert PM speaketh?

  2. Draco T Bastard 2

    Smile & Wave showing what is his most pressing concern – getting lots of pictures for his <When I was PM scrapbook.

    • Jim Nald 2.1

      I’m doubting it will be just a scrapbook.

      • marsman 2.1.1

        Bet it’ll be a commissioned biography by Michael Bassett like the one he did for the recently knighted ex booze-baron one of Key’s chums.

      • M 2.1.2

        No, it will be a feature-length film shot courtesy of his good mate Peter Jackson.

      • Jim Nald 2.1.3

        The thought was more along the lines of a prospectus for a new venture capital company of some sort.

        Perhaps, a signature here and there, with suitable references to appropriate office, would add value to such a ‘scrap’ book.

        Some might find it useful to serve a purpose in the toilet, post evacuatory.

  3. john 3

    Obama’s a Corporate Zombie waiting to be chucked out next election, A US political has been, Why would anyone be seen dead talking to him? Unless…?! John is a Corporate (Business) Zombie too?

    • Bob Stanforth 3.1

      LMAO, left wing academic is a corporate zombie, too funny, no really, it is 🙂

      • Vicky32 3.1.1

        To whom do you refer? If you mean Obama, he’s about as left wing as Rob Muldoon was. Only Ian Wishart appears to think Obama is a leftist…

        • Bob Stanforth

          Rinse and repeat, it might work, honest…

          • Joachim's

            The US Congressional system has been absolutely broken by corporate campaign money and private sector funding of election campaigns.

            As for Obama, he started out with so many compromises that now he doesn’t even know which end is up.

  4. Irascible 4

    Surely Key will be asking his linguistically adept press secretary to negotiate for him with Obama?
    Key is on holiday again? Using the taxpayers’ money to fund his travel expenses until his holiday finishes and he can attend a handily scheduled local talk fest that could be construed as Key actually “working” – working the photo ops that is.

  5. BLiP 5

    What’s he got to say about Wong . . . I don’t suppose any of the chooks are asking that for fear of interrupting his mission.

    • BLiP 5.1

      ooops – forgot my signature capitalisation, just in case anyone was in the least concerned.

      [fixed – didn’t look right without it — r0b]

  6. Brett 6

    You should write for Woman’s Day Eddie, the way you can spin a story is quite amazing.

  7. hobbit 7

    I’m sure even Woman’s Day has some standards, Brett.

    • Fisiani 7.1

      Real story should read
      NZ’s greatest ever Prime Minister John Key has been assiduously setting the potential for the greatest free trade deal in history to benefit NZ.

      He is always focused on what matters
      Saving the NZ film indudtry
      Promoting the 90 day chance to prove yourself
      or this week boosting our export potential.
      Stand up Super John

  8. ghostwhowalksnz 8

    Key is more and more like a Kiwi Zsa Zsa Gabor

    Minor bit parts are made out to be a big dramatic role.

  9. gobsmacked 9

    It’s just not possible to parody Key any more. Not when the “news” is satire like this …

    Stuff reports:

    Key told reporters he sat “pretty much next to” President Obama at a Kabuki show of traditional Japanese drama before a leaders’ dinner last night.

    Key said he sat next to Russian President Dmitry Medvedev at the leaders’ dinner.

    He had brought his iPad with him and showed Key pictures from the Kremlin website of them shaking hands at yesterday’s announcement of the start of talks on a free trade deal between New Zealand, Russia, Belarus and Khazakstan.

    “Kremlin.ru/news I’ll be checking it out when I get home – it’s a very good site,” Key said.

    I remember when the hottest girl in school sat next to me. I was very excited. I was thirteen. Same age as John Key today.

  10. Irascible 10

    It looks like the Minister for Overseas holidays and MP for Hawaii is having problems pretending to be a world leader at APEC as this attack on his credibility as a negotiator and economist by his Minister of Overseas Trade would indicate.
    Groser’s comment that no experienced negotiator would adopt the Key position of “take it or leave it” signals that the realisation that the emperor’s new clothes are falling off and that even his Cabinet Ministers are realising that they’ve been saddled with a leader with no real ability.
    Coupled with the Wong affair this doesn’t sound like it’s a good month for Key.

    • Joachim's 10.1

      Yep, Key is not up to the heavy lifting required for the position. Bill English for PM.

      • Jim Nald 10.1.1

        Some of us were impressed, or shall I say, stunned, with Key’s masterly display just recently at ‘Negotiating for Dummies 101’ with a multi-national.

        With that towering success behind him, he’s now experimenting with ‘Negotiating for Dummies 102’ with other sovereign nations to trade away ours.

      • Jim Nald 10.1.2

        Bill should very seriously consider making a challenge.

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