Focused on what matters

Written By: - Date published: 11:51 am, November 13th, 2010 - 31 comments
Categories: Media, Minister for Overseas Holidays - Tags: , , ,

John Key has been on holiday in Japan for the last few days ahead of APEC while the real international leaders are in Korea for the G20. Key is keen to have a ‘pull-aside’ with Obama but, now, disaster: the US has limited the number of Kiwi media that can cover the smiling and waving.

The US has decreed that media coverage will be limited to one still photographer per country. It’s almost as if Obama wants to get ahead with the substantive talks about the economic future of the Asia-Pacific region without APEC descending into mere photo ops for little players who hope some of the big guys’ mana will rub off on them if the folks back home see them shaking hands.

Naturally, Key isn’t too happy about that. He has called in his chief negotiator to fight this vital issue of New Zealand.

And fair enough. If a half-pint, vacuous leader of a small country shakes hands with the big leaders who don’t remember his name and no-one is there to take pictures, was there any point in him being there at all?

PS. loved this from BR in comments yesterday:

Key (to aide): Okey dokey Mike let’s practice. You stand there and pretend to be Obama

Aide: Ok

Key: Now, I’ll come up to you and do the pull-aside

(Key walks up to aide, smiles and waves)

Key: Mr President! How nice to see you. Do you have a moment to discuss your argicultural subsidies?

Aide: Hi John. Look, sorry, I’ve got to talk to China about the reformation of the global economic system that will take us forward for the next half a century through a time of huge enviromental and political uncertainty.

Key: Mike! You’re doing it wrong!

31 comments on “Focused on what matters”

  1. r0b 1

    Key has called the limit “disappointing” and undertaken to reverse it.

    But last night NZ’s chief negotiator at the talks had been called in to try and change the US’s mind, after a rebuff from the White House.

    Key is keen to get maximum coverage for the meeting, which will likely see him exchange a few words with US President Barack Obama.

    Pathetic. Embarrassing.

    • Marty G 1.1

      but he’ll be exchanging a few words, r0b. Do you know what that could mean for our dairy industry?

      Neither do I but it deserves to be recorded for the ages… I mean on the front page of the Herald.

    • Lanthanide 1.2

      “John Key will draw on his experience as a former foreign exchange dealer this weekend to urge Asia-Pacific leaders to avoid a currency war that could crimp world growth and damage small economies like New Zealand.”

      Doubly so. As if a “former currency trader” from a tinpot country like NZ who has been in the office for just over 2 years is going to tell these leaders something they didn’t already know. Frankly drawing attention to his previous job is more of a detriment to him than anything else, IMO.

      • Jim Nald 1.2.1

        Hey, someone’s got to express gratitude and go on defensive !

      • Bright Red 1.2.2

        quite. as if key knows more about the macroeconomics of currency than the others and their advisors – he’s not some guru from the wilds of NZ there to enlighten the overwrought fools.

        anyway, a foreign exchange trader would be loving it right now, major volatilities mean fortunes to be made

        • Jim Nald 1.2.2.1

          Maybe a photographer can point the camera to state leaders interviewing their telephones when the currency expert PM speaketh?

  2. Draco T Bastard 2

    Smile & Wave showing what is his most pressing concern – getting lots of pictures for his <When I was PM scrapbook.

    • Jim Nald 2.1

      I’m doubting it will be just a scrapbook.

      • marsman 2.1.1

        Bet it’ll be a commissioned biography by Michael Bassett like the one he did for the recently knighted ex booze-baron one of Key’s chums.

      • M 2.1.2

        No, it will be a feature-length film shot courtesy of his good mate Peter Jackson.

      • Jim Nald 2.1.3

        The thought was more along the lines of a prospectus for a new venture capital company of some sort.

        Perhaps, a signature here and there, with suitable references to appropriate office, would add value to such a ‘scrap’ book.

        Some might find it useful to serve a purpose in the toilet, post evacuatory.

  3. john 3

    Obama’s a Corporate Zombie waiting to be chucked out next election, A US political has been, Why would anyone be seen dead talking to him? Unless…?! John is a Corporate (Business) Zombie too?

    • Bob Stanforth 3.1

      LMAO, left wing academic is a corporate zombie, too funny, no really, it is 🙂

      • Vicky32 3.1.1

        To whom do you refer? If you mean Obama, he’s about as left wing as Rob Muldoon was. Only Ian Wishart appears to think Obama is a leftist…
        Deb

        • Bob Stanforth 3.1.1.1

          Rinse and repeat, it might work, honest…

          • Joachim's 3.1.1.1.1

            The US Congressional system has been absolutely broken by corporate campaign money and private sector funding of election campaigns.

            As for Obama, he started out with so many compromises that now he doesn’t even know which end is up.

  4. Irascible 4

    Surely Key will be asking his linguistically adept press secretary to negotiate for him with Obama?
    Key is on holiday again? Using the taxpayers’ money to fund his travel expenses until his holiday finishes and he can attend a handily scheduled local talk fest that could be construed as Key actually “working” – working the photo ops that is.

  5. BLiP 5

    What’s he got to say about Wong . . . I don’t suppose any of the chooks are asking that for fear of interrupting his mission.

    • BLiP 5.1

      ooops – forgot my signature capitalisation, just in case anyone was in the least concerned.

      [fixed – didn’t look right without it — r0b]

  6. Brett 6

    You should write for Woman’s Day Eddie, the way you can spin a story is quite amazing.

  7. hobbit 7

    I’m sure even Woman’s Day has some standards, Brett.

    • Fisiani 7.1

      Real story should read
      NZ’s greatest ever Prime Minister John Key has been assiduously setting the potential for the greatest free trade deal in history to benefit NZ.

      He is always focused on what matters
      Saving the NZ film indudtry
      Promoting the 90 day chance to prove yourself
      or this week boosting our export potential.
      Stand up Super John

  8. ghostwhowalksnz 8

    Key is more and more like a Kiwi Zsa Zsa Gabor

    Minor bit parts are made out to be a big dramatic role.

  9. gobsmacked 9

    It’s just not possible to parody Key any more. Not when the “news” is satire like this …

    Stuff reports:

    Key told reporters he sat “pretty much next to” President Obama at a Kabuki show of traditional Japanese drama before a leaders’ dinner last night.

    Key said he sat next to Russian President Dmitry Medvedev at the leaders’ dinner.

    He had brought his iPad with him and showed Key pictures from the Kremlin website of them shaking hands at yesterday’s announcement of the start of talks on a free trade deal between New Zealand, Russia, Belarus and Khazakstan.

    “Kremlin.ru/news I’ll be checking it out when I get home – it’s a very good site,” Key said.

    I remember when the hottest girl in school sat next to me. I was very excited. I was thirteen. Same age as John Key today.

  10. Irascible 10

    It looks like the Minister for Overseas holidays and MP for Hawaii is having problems pretending to be a world leader at APEC as this attack on his credibility as a negotiator and economist by his Minister of Overseas Trade would indicate.
    http://www.radionz.co.nz/news/political/61678/pm,-trade-minister-differ-over-japan-trade
    Groser’s comment that no experienced negotiator would adopt the Key position of “take it or leave it” signals that the realisation that the emperor’s new clothes are falling off and that even his Cabinet Ministers are realising that they’ve been saddled with a leader with no real ability.
    Coupled with the Wong affair this doesn’t sound like it’s a good month for Key.

    • Joachim's 10.1

      Yep, Key is not up to the heavy lifting required for the position. Bill English for PM.

      • Jim Nald 10.1.1

        Some of us were impressed, or shall I say, stunned, with Key’s masterly display just recently at ‘Negotiating for Dummies 101’ with a multi-national.

        With that towering success behind him, he’s now experimenting with ‘Negotiating for Dummies 102’ with other sovereign nations to trade away ours.

      • Jim Nald 10.1.2

        Bill should very seriously consider making a challenge.

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    Today the government released its Action Plan for Healthy Waterways, aimed at cleaning up our lakes and rivers. Its actually quite good. There will be protection for wetlands, better standards for swimming spots, a requirement for continuous improvement, and better standards for wastewater and stormwater. But most importantly, there's a ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Fronting up
    Today I appeared before the Environment Committee to give an oral submission on the Zero Carbon Bill. Over 1,500 people have asked to appear in person, so they've divided into subcommittees and are off touring the country, giving people a five minute slot each. The other submitters were a mixed ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Politics of science – making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear
    Anti-fluoride activists have some wealthy backers – they are erecting billboards misrepresenting the Canadian study on many New Zealand cities – and local authorities are ordering their removal because of their scaremongering. Many New Zealanders ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Democracy – I Don’t Think So
    So, those who “know best” have again done their worst. While constantly claiming to be the guardians of democracy and the constitution, and respecters of the 2016 referendum result, diehard Remainers (who have never brought themselves to believe that their advice could have been rejected) have striven might and main ...
    Bryan GouldBy Bryan Gould
    2 weeks ago
  • Government says it will now build just one really nice home
    Following publication of this article, the Ministry has requested it to be noted that this supplied image is not necessarily representative of what the final house will look like, and it “probably won’t be that nice.” As part of today’s long-anticipated reset of the Government’s flagship KiwiBuild policy, Housing Minister ...
    The CivilianBy admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Imperialism and your cup of coffee
    Over the next week or two we will be running three synopses of parts of the opening chapter of John Smith’s Imperialism in the 21st Century (New York, Monthly Review Press, 2016).  The synopsis and commentary below is written by Phil Duncan. Marx began Capital not with a sweeping historical ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Still juking the stats
    The State Services Commission and Ombudsman have released another batch of OIA statistics, covering the last six months. Request volumes are up, and the core public service is generally handling them within the legal timeframe, though this may be because they've learned to extend rather than just ignore things. And ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Hard News: Time for a New Deal: 25 years on
    In 1994, I was editing an ambitious street mag called Planet, from a fabled office at at 309 Karangahape Road. The thirteenth issue of the magazine was published in the winter of that year and its cover embodied a particularly ambitious goal: the end of cannabis prohibition.I wanted to do ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Not impressed
    KiwiBuild was one of the Ardern government's core policies. The government would end the housing crisis and make housing affordable again by building 100,000 new homes. Of course, it didn't work out like that: targets weren't met, the houses they did build were in the wrong place, and the whole ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Solar beats coal
    As the climate crisis escalates, it is now obvious that we need to radically decarbonise our economy. The good news is that its looking easy and profitable for the energy sector. Wind is already cheaper than fossil fuels, and now solar is too:The levellised cost of solar PV has fallen ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • A Step Too Far.
    A Crown Asset? For reasons relating to its own political convenience, the Crown pretends to believe that “No one owns the water.” To say otherwise would re-vivify the promises contained in the Treaty of Waitangi – most particularly those pertaining to the power of the chiefs and their proprietary rights ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Where Money Comes From
    Most people would say, no doubt, that they have a pretty good idea of what money is. They live with the reality of money every day. It is what is needed to buy the necessities of life and to maintain a decent standard of living. You get money, they would ...
    Bryan GouldBy Bryan Gould
    2 weeks ago
  • Banned by the Green Party leadership: Jill Abigail on women’s rights and trans rights
    The article below was an opinion piece that appeared in the Spring 2019 issue of Te Awa (the NZ Green Party’s newsletter) and on the Greens website.  In keeping with their policy of hostility to women defending women’s right to female-only spaces, Green bureaucrats have since removed the opinion piece.  ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    2 weeks ago

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