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Fred Dagg – User’s Guide to NZ

Written By: - Date published: 10:07 pm, December 4th, 2014 - 35 comments
Categories: humour, monetary policy, Privatisation, Satire - Tags:

I miss Fred Dagg – John Clarke’s latest is a purler.

“New Zealand … is an egalitarian nation made up of well over four million rugged individualists and naturally gifted sportspeople and is run on alternate days by the government and whoever bought the national infrastructure.”

Read, laugh and weep – heaps of wisdom there. He might be gone but we’re not forgotten, and thank God for that.

35 comments on “Fred Dagg – User’s Guide to NZ ”

  1. Weepus beard 1

    Complaining about what’s wrong but not taking action, has the same effect as not noticing what’s wrong.

    I’m guilty of this, but the statement reeks of nice, clean hand-washing by a career expat.

    • Tracey 1.1

      Given the number of pieces he does on political deception and uploads to youtube etc I am not sure you can fairly say he is nice and clean handwashing.

  2. adam 2

    John Clark is a legend. I believe he helps keep the Aussies on the straight, and narrow; which is quite impressive, when you realise there is almost the same amount of criminals there, as there is here.

  3. tc 3

    Clarkes pieces with Dawe are superb, his lampooning of Hockey after the G20 was spot on. Our loss was their gain as his abc series the fast lane is regarded by some as the best comedy made in Oz.

    Checkout death in brunswick with sam neil.

    • Tracey 3.1

      For those involved in, or interested in sport, his The Games was so frighteningly accurate you had to remind yourself it was a Mocumentary

  4. Come back Fred Dagg. Your country needs you!

  5. b waghorn 5

    I can’t stand people who leave a country then shit on it from afar, if you don’t want to live here fine but stfu

    • vto 5.1

      its called humour not shitting from afar – it has flown miles above your head you poor wee thing

      • batweka 5.1.1

        Hard to understand how you got shit from that waghorn.

        You might want to read up on why Clarke left NZ.

        • Tracey


        • Halfcrown

          Was it something to do with Muldoon not liking John Clarke taking the piss?

          • batweka

            Conflict with and lack of support from the NZBC (the only TV broadcaster at the time).

            Here’s Clarke being interviewed by Kim Hill. Near the start he talks about about how up until the early 70s the only NZers that appeared on TV were those wearing dinner suits, reading the news and pretending to be from England. Clarke and few others managed to get an in, but from what I remember eventually Clarke was blocked from going in the direction he wanted to and so left for Oz. Listening to his descriptions of his work at that time and where he ended up going creatively (he was so much more than Fred Dagg), it’s an impressive loss for NZ and fuck up from the NZBC.


            • Halfcrown

              Thanks for that batweka, still a great loss to NZ

              One of the funniest memories I have of John Clarke was when he was talking about his younger life. One of the things his family listened to was the BBC World Service on the radio. The signal in those days was very weak and would fade in and out. He mimicked the reception by talking into his cupped hands, he was so good if you did not know he was doing it you would think it was a genuine broadcast.

            • b waghorn

              I wouldn’t say that clip changed my view of him , he appeared to be in a good mood that day but he usually comes across as bitter about his nz years.

        • Halfcrown

          “You might want to read up on why Clarke left NZ.”

          Was it something to do with Muldoon not liking John Clarke taking the piss?

          • RedLogix

            It would not have been Muldoon on his own – it was the cumulative effect of too many waghorns that likely tipped the scales.

      • b waghorn 5.1.2

        Oops just had to slap my forehead being all but tech illiterate I only just noticed tapping the blue ‘latest ‘ took me to a whole article.

    • miravox 5.2

      I’ve left the country, albeit with the intention of returning. Sadly, the bullshit detectors got a reboot after a few months away and NZ doesn’t come out of it too well. I’d love NZ to be the best little country in the world fighting the good fight in a world of bad. But it’s not. The reason for not stfu is that I know it has the resources be a better place for all.

      And I expect when I come back I’m going to sound massively unrealistic to my friends and family. I live in hope that by then there will be a groundswell that realises NZ needs to change course for the good of society and environment.

      Good on Clarke (mind you he gives worse to his adopted country).

    • left for deadshark 5.3

      Look son,you can think,do it off a short run up next time. 👿

      @ b waghorn

  6. vto 6

    ha ha the same classic humour used to skewer all and sundry and thus highlight reality.

    Absolutely brilliant. I have missed Clarke since the day he left for oz so many years ago..

  7. The lost sheep 7

    ‘This the worst beer I’ve ever tasted’ he said. ‘I’ll be glad when I’ve had enough’

    That describes the relationship between The Standard and John Key perfectly!!

    • batweka 7.1

      Akshully, he’s describing the relationship between middle NZ and Key perfectly.

      • vto 7.1.1

        There’s that term “middle” NZ again. What on earth does it mean? Particularly in light of the fact that shitloads of “lower” NZ likely voted for Key and think hes the bee’s knees, and also that “upper” NZ most certainly nearly 100% voted for him and think hes the bee’s knees.

        This term “middle” NZ appears to appear when an easy dumping vessel is required for lazy and prejudiced thinking about our fellow countrymenwomen.

        • batweka

          I used the term ironically.

          I do think the point Clarke was making is applicable to all the people that didn’t vote for Key, are complaining about him and not doing anything. But also the people that did vote for him and are either now regretting that or at least starting to feel like they’re a bit hard done by having to drink what turned out to be rather shitty beer. But again, unwilling to do anything about it. Probably a big chunk of non-voters too. There, I think that’s covered middle NZ.

    • Tracey 7.2

      And Key and Slater

  8. Jenny Kirk 8

    Thanks, Mike S, for drawing this to our attention. Its a beaut !

  9. ianmac 9

    “The next thing anyone knew they’d appointed a currency dealer as Prime Minister and the equities market became a place of worship.”

    How true and how sad.

  10. Puckish Rogue 10

    – Heres one of John Clarkes best efforts

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