Glorious school building opened by honourable leader

Written By: - Date published: 10:20 am, March 4th, 2010 - 60 comments
Categories: education, Media, Satire - Tags: ,

Beloved Leader of People’s Constitutional Monarchy of New Zealand, Honourable John Key, attended glorious opening of school building on Tuesday. Youth cadres were so roused by Honourable Leader’s magnificent presence that they spontaneously burst into a moving rendition of glorious People’s anthem.

The school, owned by praiseworthy private organisation where nation’s glorious elite send their children, has been recipient of much money from the State under wise and benign guidance of Honourable Leader. The State procured funds for this glorious development by ending ideologically false and impure policies of the ousted regime, which had wasted precious wealth of the State on education for adults and poor.

Beloved Key had special message for the youth cadres. He told them not to fear unemployment or poverty and denied revisionist lies about falling production levels. Under Glorious Leader’s wise and esteemed leadership many cycleways will be built across nation and with this great wealth of cycleways many jobs will be created, and some back-office banking too maybe. Also, Beloved Leader will defeat hated Japanese and save whales with secret plan.

Such was youths’ excitement to be in presence of Honourable Leader that they could barely contain themselves and all wanted to be near him. Beloved Key graciously chose to spend his time with youths rather than return to work building glorious nation.

People’s media have showered great and deserved praise on Honourable Key for his latest magnificent achievement in opening this tremendous building which will increase industrial production by 40% over next five year plan.

Several youths were overcome by the glory of Honourable Leader’s appearance as were several members of the press corps. Glorious People’s newspaper reports mass faintings of youth cadres in presence of Honourable leader.

All agree that under the wise and dedicated tutelage of Beloved Key, our glorious nation will bury running dog Australians by 2025.

60 comments on “Glorious school building opened by honourable leader”

  1. BLiP 1

    The schools new song

    ♫ ♪

    He’s a man. He’s just a man.
    And I’ve had so many men before,
    In very many ways,
    He’s just one more . . .

    . . . he scares me so

    ♪ ♫

  2. vto 2

    Eddie, are you trying Carter’s Hone impersonation from a few years ago, except chinese styles???

    He was roundly condemned as racist for that shit

    • Daveo 2.1

      I take it you haven’t read much communist propaganda before vto. Clearly satire of badly translated reports from People’s Daily, Pravda etc.

    • Eddie 2.2

      it’s not chinese style. It’s in the style of a communist propaganda piece.

    • BLiP 2.3

      Wooosh . . .

    • Bright Red 2.4

      reads more like Pravda to me.

      very very funny.

      you have to wonder what was in the journos’ heads writing those pieces.

    • r0b 2.5

      vto on his high horse about satire involving race? (Key as a North Korean Great Leader?). Oh irony.

      • vto 2.5.1

        aint no high horse r0b. just exposing the true colour of the human condition – it the same across the spectrum but you fullas think you are somehow superior. plain hypocrisy.

        enjoy the amusements kiddies

  3. vto 3

    well that is a very fine hair you are trying to split

  4. Lanthanide 4

    Very good. Except it should be “Right Honourable”.

    captcha: titles

    • Bright Red 4.1

      I think Clark was the last ‘Right Honourable’. Key is just Honourable.

      Yeah, you have to be appointed to the Privy Council, and Clark stopped the practice of appointing PMs and Deputy PMs to the PC.

      She herself got Right Honourable as Deputy to Moore.

      • Lanthanide 4.1.1

        You’re correct. I didn’t know that, and only skimmed the Wikipedia article.

        captcha: admit

  5. Lew 5

    It’s really wonderful, Eddie. You’ve captured the tone just so. Made my day.

    Cheers,
    L

  6. tc 6

    Hope the media lapdogs were given plenty of water and shade and someones watching their daily intake or they may get out of condition and be unable to follow JK from one PR stunt to the next.

  7. Anne 7

    Brilliant. Thanks Eddie.

    I’m reminded of a similar splash by the Herald (of course) in the late 90s. It was Jenny Shipley opening something at the posh Kristin School on the North Shore . There were photos of happy, smiling, well nourished children paying homage to the great lady. She went down the gurgler not long afterwards so lets hope history repeats itself!

    • Lew 7.1

      What makes it all the more awesome is how similar this photo-op at the school was to the scenes from National’s (excellent and election-sealing) In a Brave Country TV ad before the election.

      L

  8. Cnr Joe 8

    ooh eddie, you are wicked – glorious stuff

    captcha – forgets

  9. gobsmacked 9

    Brilliant. If only it wasn’t lifted verbatim from the Herald …

    Today Comrade Key announces Long March. Three more days than February, glorious leader’s gift to grateful people.

  10. lprent 10

    The really hilarious thing is that Eddies post isn’t as good a satire as Derek Chengs – after you read Eddies first.

    Derek Cheng wrote a puff piece in a bullshit advertorial mode that reads exactly like an old 30’s propaganda piece (or North Korea today). The similarities are striking….

    Great post

  11. One of your best Eddie.

    Captcha “mean”, very appropriate.

  12. Santi 12

    I’m sick of Key’s stupidity and waste of time. The country needs leadership and instead he does very little or nothing at all.

  13. And Helen Clark never had PR like this.

    • gobsmacked 13.1

      As always, the false comparison between Key and Clark. But there’s really no comparison at all.

      Clark had been a Cabinet Minister, Deputy PM and (very unpopular) leader of the opposition, long before she became the PM. She had plenty of hostile media coverage then. She lost an election.

      When she got the top job, she’d earned it. Any postive media coverage reflected this. It came after all the negative coverage. Key’s never had any.

  14. Daveski 14

    It WOULD have been really funny were it not for Eddie’s many attempts to deify St Helen.

    The double standard approach is becoming just as tiresome as the similar attacks on Clark were when Labour was in power.

    Funny yes.

    Hypocritical. Hell yes.

    • Bright Red 14.1

      It’s mocking the media’s adulation of a do nothing PM, daveski.

      • Daveski 14.1.1

        Yet when he does anything he’s mocked or condemned.

        It’s no different to the abuse directed at the Aussie cricketer, Watson. He wouldn’t be abused by the fans if he wasn’t any good.

        Don’t get me wrong – it’s done well, it is funny, especially if you’ve read any of the North Korea press releases. Read the one when Kim opens up the golf course. Priceless.

        That said, for eddie of all people to extract the urine about idolatry takes the whole Griffins factory.

    • Daveo 14.2

      I can’t remember seeing much deification of Helen round here. Any sources for Eddie’s alleged “many attempts to deify St Helen”?

      • lprent 14.2.1

        I can’t remember seeing much deification of Helen round here. Any sources for Eddie’s alleged “many attempts to deify St Helen’?

        It is one of those ubiquitous right-wing myths – like rising crime levels. Makes them feel good, but bears little resemblance to reality.

        There never was much mention of Helen Clark in our posts in 2007/8. In fact when I ran some analysis after the election about what we’d been writing about, it turned out that Michael Cullen was mentioned in the posts almost twice as often than Helen was. There were many more mentions of Winston Peters than either of them.

        That is because we write opinions on current affairs and those we oppose rather than deification.

  15. deemac 15

    surely the correct epithet is “Dear Leader” as in North Korea?

  16. Evidence-Based Practice 16

    Helen Clark used to open school buildings and extensions regularly. Building programmes in state schools that had been neglected for decades and then funded under her government. She got great responses in the schools and in the staff rooms too as she spent time talking and listening to staff and students. But the media, apart from the local community paper, was rarely interested. Key goes on one visit to a private school and it’s a major news story.

  17. Sanctuary 17

    I just read read Anne Tolley’s latest press release in the Herald – We’ve always been at war with those foreign devils in Eastasia!!!!

    DOWN WITH EASTASIA!!!!

    • Kahui Twins = NZ fail 17.1

      can’t find it, please post a link

      • Tigger 17.1.1

        I look forward cheering at the latest footage of our Oceanian army crushing the Eastasian scum underneath their boots. I have a Junior Anti-Sex-League meeting tonight though so can someone tape the coverage for me?

  18. ak 18

    heh heh, classic Eddie, made my day too. That pic could become an icon for every tory lounge:
    “Chairman Mouse and the Parnell Peasant Girls”

  19. Anne 19

    It is interesting to note that on the few occasions the TV cameras were present when Helen Clark was visiting a school, she was always in classroom participating in the lessons with the children or reading to them. I don’t recall any of these “royal tour” type photo opportunities so beloved of National leaders.

  20. Camden Whelk 20

    Honorable Leader is role model for young girls. They all want to be him when they grow up!

  21. Robb 21

    I believe the last thing Helen opened was a wing at the University of Auckland funded by Owen Glenn. Now there was a photo op but both Helen and Owen didn’t seem that happy (wonder why).

    • Bright Red 21.1

      Yeah, if only she spent her days high fiving school girls, then unemployment would have been below 4%, wages would have been up, and crime would have been going down…

      … oh, wait, I’m confused.

  22. Olwyn 22

    Given the adulation in which this man is bathed by the MSM, a version of Stand By Your Man should surely be a candidate for a new national anthem:

    Sometimes it’s hard to be a kiwi
    Giving all your love to just one man
    You’ll have bad times
    And he’ll have good times
    Doin things that you don’t understand
    But if you love him
    You’ll forgive him
    Even though he’s hard to understand
    And if you love him
    Oh, be proud of him
    Cause after all he’s just a man

  23. reddy 23

    @Brett Dale

    In fact Clark had the opposite of this. She was subject to constant smear about how masculine she was, about her childlessness, and snide comments about her and her husband.

    Unable to demonise her politics effectively they demonised her as a women in a leader’s role.

    With Key it’s the opposite. Unable to laud any political acheivements he gets built up into this desirable husband and cool dad to the nation.

    Following up on the sexiest politician poll (something that worked well for Melissa Lee it should be noted) the Herald runs a front page piece about a single sex girls school going giddy and breathless.

    ‘”He’s such an inspirational role-model,” gushed one. “He’s so cool,” was another star-struck accolade. ‘

    I’m suprised they didn’t sick up as well after all that saccharine.

  24. The commentary reminds me of the Rudd youtube video that was going around prior to the 2007 federal election. So technically, it is plagiarism.

    Even found the link. 😛

    Funny though, and accurate, though.

    captcha: “subjects”. LOL

    • “Funny though, and accurate, though.”

      This is obviously in reference to Key.

    • Galeandra 24.2

      So technically, it is plagiarism.

      Rubbish, I had kids writing skits and parodies like this nearly 40 years ago in the English classroom as we wrestled with that crusty UB topic “The Language of Propaganda”. The children of the capitalist runnings dogs were always mightily amused. Reams of the ‘real’ stuff were handed out out on street corners on Friday nights. The lexicon and style tended to be ubiquitous, though the places the columns were recycled from varied- from USSR to China and N Vietnam, depending on the affiliations of the activist groupos who supplied them.

      Given the Orwellian abuse of language espoused by the right today, I think Comrade Leader Key fills the bill admirably.

  25. Evidence-Based Practice 25

    The school in this story is the only private girls’ school in the Hutt Valley, and one of only 3 private girls’ schools in the whole Wellington region. For a Wellington audience it just shouts elitism.

  26. Rob M 26

    A C_ _t of a Personality?

    With Journalists like these . . . who needs thieves in centrist clothing.

  27. Zaphod Beeblebrox 27

    I thought the personality cult stuff in NZ was reserved for Finance Company Directors, Religious sects like Destiny, Paris Hilton, Eric Watson and ex-All Blacks.

  28. roger nome 28

    “just exposing the true colour of the human condition”

    You’ve got a fairly warped perspective of “the human condition” then. It’s just essentialist tripe. People’s perceptions of the “human condition” tend to be self-fulfilling. What does that say about you VTO?

  29. Why is it that Key uses young girls in his PR stunts? Seems to be a bit of a theme developing. I am waiting for his” I am relaxed about it line ” changing to “Its like,its just like, like you know oh my god ” I am sure if Whaleoil could get a few beers into him you could get him to sing to “Im to sexy for my shirt” or something similar maybe .

  30. conspiracry facts 30

    and today, strangely, no mention on the Stuff main pages about the youth tax, the right to fire, or drivers licence restrictions.
    guess they want the kids soft and pliable for the ‘K luvs Ya bb’ photos tomorrow

  31. Irascible 31

    The comments from some of the more righteous writers demonstrate why satire has disappeared from the comedy scene on the stage, the radio and TV they’re evidence of the Brash analysis of the NZer…

  32. NickS 32

    /rolleyes

    Except of course even in Swift’s time, many in the educated classes took A Modest Proposal the wrong way, and since some seem to like using their inability to critically think as a reason to attack someone, or moan at authority about it.

  33. Puddleglum 33

    Am I allowed to hope against hope that either:

    1. Derek Cheng was doing a subversive, OTT piss-take of the PR spin that is National’s puerile condescension towards New Zealanders;

    or

    2. The girls were themselves taking the piss of JK and their irony sailed over both JK’s and Cheng’s heads?

    If not, then:

    1. Cheng needs to find another day job;

    and

    2. there goes the theory that modern youth are more savvy and worldly wise than any preceding generation (I thought this was an ‘elite’ school!? Don’t they at least try to teach critical thinking there?).

    A truly embarrassing bit of nothing, so far as politics goes, but a brilliant piece of satire from Eddie.

    P.S. I hate to think what Cheng would have made of my first day of High School back in the 70s. Nine hundred of us packed into the assembly hall on one of those hotter than hot February days; 3rd and 4th formers standing like vertical sardines at the back wearing their compulsory itchy woollen shirts and long shorts, woollen socks pulled up to the knees, noses pressed into the lower backs of the woollen-blazered fifth formers in front of them; at least three groans followed by thuds as the bodies of 12, 13 or 14 year old boys hit the floorboards only to be quickly spirited away by hulking, first fifteen monitors to the dark, cold depths of the basement below. Foolishly, at the time I put it down to Cheng’s first two possibilities: the heat and the heavy uniforms. But, no, it could only have been, ‘the presence of the star!’ In our case, ‘the star’ would have been the Headmaster, I guess. A WWII vet who must have been in his 60s. He did wear his mortarboard with a certain jaunty imperiousness and, who knows, as he strode to the lectern, robes flowing majestically, cane in hand … yes, enough to give at least a few swooning young boys giddy faints of adoration, I suppose.

  34. just saying 34

    Thank you!
    Today of all days I really needed a good belly laugh.
    Very clever.

  35. Jemima 35

    The Dominion Post article was hilarious. It said that some girls fainted in all of the excitement. How absolutely splendid for the Chilton girls. Meeting their God, the rich and fabulous John Key. He is seen as Godly in their eyes, with his ability to make money and separate the Upper Class from the other commoners. When he went to a state school in Wellington, My sister’s school, Thorndon, people were not happy. My brother (who also goes their) asked for an autograph he could ceremoniously burn…Chilton (and other private schools) obviously doesn’t need anymore government funding. Low decile schools in low income areas need the money more.

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    Two years have now gone by since the Friday afternoon when my university-student son and I headed out of our Barcelona flat to a nearby primary school, designated as a polling station for the vote that was to be held the following Sunday: the referendum on Catalonia’s independence from Spain ...
    1 week ago
  • Sage Decisions Unwisely Over-Ruled.
    Overruled: The joint decision of Finance Minister, Grant Robertson (Labour) and his Associate Minister, David Parker (Labour) arguably the two most powerful ministers in Jacinda Ardern’s government, to grant OceanaGold the consents which Land Information Minister, Eugenie Sage (Greens) had earlier denied them, offers bitter proof of how hard fighting ...
    1 week ago
  • Government may ban voting in effort to get more people to do it
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    The CivilianBy admin
    1 week ago
  • Woman: Deleted.
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    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago
  • The Hollowest of Men Ride Again… SURPRISE!
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    exhALANtBy exhalantblog
    1 week ago
  • Barbaric
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    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Fighting Monsters.
    Freedom Of Speech? The Säuberung (cleansing by fire) was the work of the German Student Union which, on 10 May 1933, under the watchful eye of the Nazi Reichminister for Propaganda, Joseph Goebbels, consigned 25,000 books to the flames in a ritual exorcism of “un-German thought”. According to the logic of the ...
    1 week ago
  • The next wave of kaupapa Māori politics: its constitutional, it must be.
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    EllipsisterBy Ellipsister
    1 week ago
  • Night lights of NZ from orbit
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    SciBlogsBy Duncan Steel
    1 week ago
  • Reporters deliver uplifting news to fleeing Japanese residents: they won’t miss any rugby
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    The CivilianBy admin
    1 week ago
  • Government in contentious discussions about whether to put surplus on red or black
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    The CivilianBy admin
    1 week ago
  • Jordanian teachers’ successful strike has lessons for here
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    RedlineBy Admin
    1 week ago
  • Why some people still think climate change isn’t real
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    SciBlogsBy Guest Author
    1 week ago
  • The SIS unlawfully spied on Nicky Hager
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    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • October 2019 – Newsletter
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    Closing the GapBy Tracey Sharp
    1 week ago
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    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Climate Change: Paying the price in California
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    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Let’s Hear It For Up-Close-And-Personal, Hard-Copy Democracy!
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    1 week ago
  • 10/10: World Day Against the Death Penalty
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    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Talking Freer Lives: a Marxist gender-critical perspective from Australia
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    RedlineBy Admin
    1 week ago
  • Government spin accepted by union leadership
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    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago
  • Forbidden Thoughts
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    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago
  • Much love to my loyal Ukrainian readership
    For some reasons, my post about the mystery message from inside the Downing Street bunker seemed to catch people's attention.  Quite a lot of hits from NZ (unsurprisingly) and the USA (a bit more puzzlingly, but hi there, USAians!!) and 76 views from the Ukraine.I've celebrated my Ukrainian readers in ...
    1 week ago
  • Another day of bonkers GNUmours (again, sorry)
    First, almost a score of Labour MPs seem to have sent a letter to the EU basically begging them to accept a deal - any deal - just so Britain can get the Heck on with Brexiting instead of being trapped in limbo:
    To avoid no deal, deliver on the ...
    1 week ago
  • Labour vs working class immigrants – again!
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    RedlineBy Admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Speak Up for Women press statement: on Massey University and Feminism 2020
    The following was released yesterday (Tues, October 8) by the women’s liberation organisation Speak Up for Women. On 23 September Speak Up For Women announced that we would be holding an event at the Massey University Theaterette in Wellington. The event is called Feminism 2020. The intention of the event ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Farmers support dirty rivers
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    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • No-one cares about local government
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    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • The political ghosts of eugenics may matter more than the genetic
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    RedlineBy Daphna
    2 weeks ago
  • “Surplus” again
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    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Inside the Downing Street bunker
    James Forsyth at The Spectator (I know, I know) has tapped one of his contacts inside Number Ten for an insight into the Johnson administration's thinking and strategy.It is fascinating, unsettling and quite, quite mad.  Some key points:Negotiations have stalled and the Johnson administration are keen to blame the EU: ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Taking Control Of The Nation’s Story.
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    2 weeks ago
  • Are GNUs extinct?
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    2 weeks ago
  • Labour chickens out again
    When the government was elected, it promised to lead the way on electric vehicles, and specifically to make the government vehicle fleet emissions-free where-practicable by 2025.They lied:There are 15,473 vehicles in the government fleet and only 78 are electric. When the coalition Government came into power in late 2017, the ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Transgender extremism, violence at work against feminist meeting at British Labour Party conference
    by Nick Rogers The debate around the meaning of sex and gender made an appearance at this year’s British Labour Party conference in Brighton. Women’s Place UK – an organisation that questions the demand that biological males who self-identify as woman should have access to women’s spaces, to all-women shortlists, ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Rebelling in Wellington
    Yesterday I went down to Wellington to participate in the Extinction Rebellion protest. Its part of the latest global wave of XR actions, with actions happening all over the world. Some of those protests are massively disruptive: in Canada, XR is blocking major bridges, stopping people from getting to work. ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago

  • Methane reducing cattle feed one step closer
    The Government today announced its support for a project that could substantially reduce agricultural greenhouse gas emissions from cattle. The announcement was made as part of Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s and Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor’s visit to Nelson’s Cawthron Aquaculture Park. The Cawthron Institute will receive $100,000 from the Government’s ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Bill to refresh superannuation system passes first reading
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government announces next steps in fight against measles
    Babies in Auckland aged six months and over can receive a free vaccination and children will all have access to vaccines, Associate Minister of Health Julie Anne Genter announced today at Papatoetoe High School.   The move comes as part of Government efforts to step up the fight against measles. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Speech to the New Zealand Institute of International Affairs, Pacific Futures: Connections, Identity...
    ***Check against delivery*** Good morning. It is a pleasure to be here, and to have the honour of opening this important conference on behalf of the New Zealand Institute of International Affairs. Let us take the opportunity to acknowledge all the people who have helped make today possible, including our special ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Police trial new response to high risk events
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • New awards celebrate fisheries sustainability
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • More progress for women and we can do more
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Proposals to curb environmental damage help our coasts and the oceans
    Government Ministers today welcomed the release of a marine environment report highlighting the four key issues affecting our oceans, estuaries and coastlines.  The release underlines the importance of government proposals to combat climate pollution, ensure clean freshwater, protect biodiversity, make land use more sustainable, and reduce waste and plastic.    Environment ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • New mental health facility for Waikato
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • 500 new te reo Māori champions in our classrooms
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Minister James Shaw welcomes 2018 Census first release
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Driving transparency, ethics and accountability in government use of algorithms
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • New Zealand and the Netherlands working together on climate change
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Protecting fairness for workers and businesses
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Indigenous Freshwater Fish Bill Passes
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    3 days ago
  • Kiwis to take part in world’s biggest earthquake drill
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Rising wages and low inflation supporting Kiwis
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • NZ economy strong amid global headwinds
    New Zealand’s economic strength and resilience has been recognised in a major update on the state of the global economy. The IMF’s latest World Economic Outlook released overnight shows a reduced global growth forecast over the next two years as issues like the US-China trade war and Brexit take hold. ...
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    4 days ago
  • Keeping New Zealanders safer with better counter-terrorism laws
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    4 days ago
  • Improved succession and dispute resolution core of Ture Whenua changes
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  • Speech to CTU Biennial Conference
    Let me first thank all the new unionists and members in the room. There is nothing more important to improving people’s working lives than people making the decision to care, to get on board and help, to take up the reins and get involved. Congratulations to you. You bring the ...
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    4 days ago
  • Minister ensures continued Whenuapai flight operations
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    4 days ago
  • NZ joins Coalition of Finance Ministers for Climate Action
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    4 days ago
  • Feedback Sought – Section 71 – Lyttelton Parking
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    5 days ago
  • Feedback Sought – Section 71 – Hagley Oval
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    5 days ago
  • CTU speech – DPM
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    5 days ago
  • Police Association Annual Conference
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  • New Zealand announces a further P-3 deployment in support of UN sanctions
    Minister of Foreign Affairs Winston Peters and Minister of Defence Ron Mark have announced the New Zealand Government’s decision to again deploy a Royal New Zealand Air Force P-3K2 (P-3) maritime patrol aircraft to support the implementation of United Nations Security Council (UNSC) resolutions imposing sanctions against North Korea. New ...
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    5 days ago
  • New Zealand deeply concerned at developments in north-east Syria
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    5 days ago
  • Government on high alert for stink bugs
    Biosecurity Minister Damien O’Connor is warning travelling Kiwis to be vigilant as the high-season for the crop-eating brown marmorated stink bug (BMSB) is under way. “We’re on high alert to stop BMSB arriving in NZ. The high season runs until April 30 and we’ve strengthened our measures to stop stink ...
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    5 days ago
  • Better protections for students in halls of residence
    The Government is moving swiftly to change the law to improve the welfare and pastoral care of students living in university halls of residence and other tertiary hostels. Cabinet has agreed to several changes, including creating a new mandatory Code of Practice that sets out the duty of pastoral care ...
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    6 days ago
  • New trapping guide for community and expert trappers alike
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  • Widening Access to Contraceptives Welcomed
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    6 days ago
  • Major upgrade for Taranaki Base Hospital
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    7 days ago
  • Extra support for rural families
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    1 week ago
  • Howard Leaque Beekeeper programme graduation
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    1 week ago
  • Finance Minister to attend APEC meetings
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  • Pacific languages are a source of strength, they ground us and build confidence
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  • Major boost to support disabled people in sport and recreation
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  • More prefab homes to be built as red tape cut
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    1 week ago