web analytics

Imperator Fish: ACT’s new employment relations policy

Written By: - Date published: 8:30 am, June 13th, 2014 - 20 comments
Categories: act, Economy, employment, humour, parody, Satire - Tags: ,

actlogo1Reposted from Imperator Fish.

The ACT Party today released its employment relations policy, which focuses on providing both employees and employers with flexibility in how they arrange their workplaces.

ACT leader Dr Jamie Whyte said the policy would look to the past in helping New Zealand businesses to better plan for the future.

“It’s tough to be a business owner in the current economic environment,” said Dr Whyte.

“There are so many demands on business owners. We know they are working harder than ever, trying to get ahead and be competitive. But the Employment Relations Act provides so little flexibility. It forces businesses to operate in an environment that stifles innovation.

“Businesses continue to be tied down by workplace laws that insist on employees being paid. These laws cost businesses money.”

Dr Whyte said that the fortnightly pay cycle was crippling many small businesses, driving many of them to the wall.

“The need to fund wages and salaries makes it difficult for businesses to grow, and reduces efficiency and global competitiveness.

“It’s ironic that ACT is so often the subject of attack from unions and the left, when our policies actually help workers to get ahead. If businesses did not have to pay their workers, they could afford to employ more people.

“Today I am announcing an exciting new policy initiative to address this imbalance, and to provide more choice to both employers and workers.

“In looking to the future we should not be afraid to look back at the past. We can learn a lot from the study of history. That’s why the ACT Party will reintroduce slavery to the workplace.”

Dr Whyte insisted slavery was not in any way inconsistent with the principles of freedom and choice. “We stand behind those principles, which is why it won’t be mandatory to run a slavery workplace. We will also give employees the right to opt out of slavery workplaces.

“The option of slavery will give employers more tools to help them grow their businesses, while the opt out will give workers the choice to find work elsewhere.

“People may think they know how slavery works, but do they really? It’s an idea that has had some bad publicity over the years, but only because the right model hasn’t been tried. We believe we have developed the right model. A model that gives employees genuine choice about whether or not to become slaves.”

Under ACT’s model employers will be able to offer workers the option of becoming slaves. The model will enable employees and employers to negotiate for themselves how they want their workplaces to be run, without the interference of the state. Changes to the Crimes Act will ensure employers are able to deploy a full range of negotiation strategies without the interference of the police, lawyers, unions, and human rights advocates.

“We’re confident that most employees will happily choose slavery when they hear what their bosses have to say during those closed-doors negotiations,” said Dr Whyte.

“The benefits of slavery are so obvious. The Roman Empire was built on slavery, and Rome rose to become the most powerful nation on Earth. Another Empire, the British, prospered enormously from the efforts of tens of thousands of West Indian plantation slaves. If slavery was good enough for these great empires, why isn’t it good enough for us?

“As a proud New Zealander I want this country to be great again. We can be great again, but we must be prepared to make bold decisions about our future. Slavery offers a way forward for businesses struggling to compete in a global economy.

“Employment law must give freedom to employers and employees to come to arrangements that suit them both. The reintroduction of slavery will give both parties that freedom.”

20 comments on “Imperator Fish: ACT’s new employment relations policy ”

  1. Tracey 1

    Very clever.

    Helen Kelly spoke very well yesterday following Simon Bridges disingenuous announcement about labour laws.

  2. Tom Gould 2

    I guess slavery is a logical next step after making incest okay?

  3. fdx 3

    I jokingly asked the young Indian guy at the local off license about his minimum wages and he replied that he doesn’t even get that, so I pressed him a bit and he told me that they get $200 pw and accommodation which they share with other workers. the house is owned by the employer who has quite a few of these bottle stores around town.
    I wouldn’t think this is an isolated incident. With the huge influx of migrant workers and business owners and only a fool would think that just because they are now in New Zealand that they are going to magically follow the employment rules imposed upon them. That is why they prefer to use their own kind rather than New Zealanders because the know NZ workers would not put up with it.
    So joking aside, if this is not a case of slavery being that if they do not comply with the owners wishes who then will withdraw support so the worker is left jobless, homeless and without a visa then I suppose slavery is flourishing in New Zealand but as the masters and slaves are non New Zealanders I suppose that makes it all right.

    • Molly 3.1

      I’ve read a couple of interesting books in the last few years, that has slavery numbers higher than they have ever been. Mostly, because of situations such as you describe – but including forced prostitution and promises of distant employment not being kept, and then the vulnerable people being exploited.

      There are also many cases where families incur debt at inflated rates, and whole families are indentured to work in places with very little chance of leaving. Compliance is often ensured by violence.

      We live in a topsy-turvy world… where slavery surrounds us, and we don’t see it because it is not in chains.

    • Kiwiri 3.2

      Very much doubt that is an isolated incident.

      “they get $200 pw and accommodation which they share with other workers. the house is owned by the employer who has quite a few of these … around town”

      I have heard similar kinds of accounts from workers in the hospitality sector (eg cooks in ethnic as well as general restaurants/cafes) and the dairy industry.

      They are pretty much a captive and ‘compliant’ workforce, beholden to their employers whims and demands, and they won’t want to put at risk their visas and other expenses that they have paid or for which they have borrowed funds to get them here.

      The ones I talked to were quite disillusioned about the so-called fair and honest New Zealand that they had heard about before arriving.

    • Malcolm 3.3

      If you want to help you could put him in touch with UNIMEG, First Union’s migrant network:

      http://www.firstunion.org.nz/company/unimeg

  4. Steve Wrathall 4

    If you all care so much about exploitation of foreign workers then remove the restrictions on overseas hiring that make them have to pay huge amounts to agents and then end up beholden to one employer. But the unions don’t want that do they? They want the competition taken out.
    And the correct ACT logo is here
    http://www.elections.org.nz/parties-candidates/registered-political-parties/register-political-parties

    • Draco T Bastard 4.1

      If you all care so much about exploitation of foreign workers then remove the restrictions on overseas hiring that make them have to pay huge amounts to agents and then end up beholden to one employer.

      What restrictions would those be?

    • lprent 4.2

      Talk to Mr Yorke. I repost as they are. The image probably links back to his site.

      I have to say that it is almost as hard to keep up with their ever changing logos as it is to find out which leader that they have this week.

      On the other hand I could spend a while enhancing the new logo with chains, manacles, and whips if the current image really upsets you.

      • Scott Yorke 4.2.1

        Fixed it. It’s so hard to keep track of their various logos. They seem to change as often as their leader.

        • lprent 4.2.1.1

          I should take time to enhance the image. Great post by the way. You should have seen my aged parents faces going from distaste to chortling as they progressed through the post.

      • Steve Wrathall 4.2.2

        ACT’s had as many leaders in the last decade as Labour has

        • McFlock 4.2.2.1

          yeah, given that today is the anniversary of hide taking over ten years ago.

          A lot of caucus friction for a party so small. And of course Labour never had to replace their leader with a non-mp because their only MP turned out to be a criminal. Seriously, only ACT can have a caucus leadership unseating with only one caucus member.

  5. Macro 5

    Actually slavery costs employers more than our current system. Slave owners have to house and feed their slaves. By paying minimal wages, employers externalise their costs to the general community who pick up the costs through increased welfare, increased health costs, increased accident costs, increased child care costs, increased crime, increased prison costs, to name just a few. Oooops! forgot the most import one – the cost of increased protection for the wealthy (more policing).
    I think employers would be reluctant to re-introduce slavery simply because now there are much better ways to externalise the costs of employment, especially with such a compliant govt.

    • Draco T Bastard 5.1

      +1

      Employers with any sort of nous would be very much against re-introducing slavery.

  6. thechangeling 6

    Is that article tongue-in-cheek? It’s nutty enough to be part of the National Party’s manifesto.

  7. Steve Wrathall 7

    Slavery is actually the opposite of ACT’s classical liberal principles of opposition to unchosen obligations and equality of races before the law.

    • Te Reo Putake 7.1

      And yet, slavery, either direct or wage, is the actual expression of the libertarian philosophy. It’s like the philosophy is a hypocritical fig leaf for economic evil. Weird that, eh?

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • COVID-19 vaccine slated for possible approval next week
    The green light for New Zealand’s first COVID-19 vaccine could be granted in just over a week, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said today. “We’re making swift progress towards vaccinating New Zealanders against the virus, but we’re also absolutely committed to ensuring the vaccines are safe and effective,” Jacinda Ardern said. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    9 hours ago
  • New ACC Board members announced.
    The Minister for ACC is pleased to announce the appointment of three new members to join the Board of ACC on 1 February 2021. “All three bring diverse skills and experience to provide strong governance oversight to lead the direction of ACC” said Hon Carmel Sepuloni. Bella Takiari-Brame from Hamilton ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    12 hours ago
  • Economic boost for Southland marae
    The Government is investing $9 million to upgrade a significant community facility in Invercargill, creating economic stimulus and jobs, Infrastructure Minister Grant Robertson and Te Tai Tonga MP Rino Tirikatene have announced.  The grant for Waihōpai Rūnaka Inc to make improvements to Murihiku Marae comes from the $3 billion set ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    20 hours ago
  • Celebrating the Entry Into Force of the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons
    [Opening comments, welcome and thank you to Auckland University etc] It is a great pleasure to be here this afternoon to celebrate such an historic occasion - the entry into force of the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons. This is a moment many feared would never come, but ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Supporting disabled people to stay connected
    The Government is providing $3 million in one-off seed funding to help disabled people around New Zealand stay connected and access support in their communities, Minister for Disability Issues, Carmel Sepuloni announced today. The funding will allow disability service providers to develop digital and community-based solutions over the next two ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Voluntary saliva testing offered to quarantine workers from Monday
    Border workers in quarantine facilities will be offered voluntary daily COVID-19 saliva tests in addition to their regular weekly testing, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. This additional option will be rolled out at the Jet Park Quarantine facility in Auckland starting on Monday 25 January, and then to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Next steps in firearms buy-back
    The next steps in the Government’s ambitious firearms reform programme to include a three-month buy-back have been announced by Police Minister Poto Williams today.  “The last buy-back and amnesty was unprecedented for New Zealand and was successful in collecting 60,297 firearms, modifying a further 5,630 firearms, and collecting 299,837 prohibited ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Jobs for Nature projects target iconic ecosystems
    Upscaling work already underway to restore two iconic ecosystems will deliver jobs and a lasting legacy, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says.  “The Jobs for Nature programme provides $1.25 billion over four years to offer employment opportunities for people whose livelihoods have been impacted by the COVID-19 recession. “Two new projects ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • New Public Housing Plan announced
    The Government has released its Public Housing Plan 2021-2024 which outlines the intention of where 8,000 additional public and transitional housing places announced in Budget 2020, will go. “The Government is committed to continuing its public house build programme at pace and scale. The extra 8,000 homes – 6000 public ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Prime Minister congratulates President Joe Biden on his inauguration
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has congratulated President Joe Biden on his inauguration as the 46th President of the United States of America. “I look forward to building a close relationship with President Biden and working with him on issues that matter to both our countries,” Jacinda Ardern said. “New Zealand ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Jobs for Nature funding will create training and employment opportunities
    A major investment to tackle wilding pines in Mt Richmond will create jobs and help protect the area’s unique ecosystems, Biosecurity Minister Damien O’Connor says. The Mt Richmond Forest Park has unique ecosystems developed on mineral-rich geology, including taonga plant species found nowhere else in the country. “These special plant ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Pre-departure testing extended to all passengers to New Zealand
    To further protect New Zealand from COVID-19, the Government is extending pre-departure testing to all passengers to New Zealand except from Australia, Antarctica and most Pacific Islands, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “The change will come into force for all flights arriving in New Zealand after 11:59pm (NZT) on Monday ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Bay Cadets learn skills to protect environment
    Bay Conservation Cadets launched with first intake Supported with $3.5 million grant Part of $1.245b Jobs for Nature programme to accelerate recover from Covid Cadets will learn skills to protect and enhance environment Environment Minister David Parker today welcomed the first intake of cadets at the launch of the Bay ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Cook Islanders to resume travel to New Zealand
    The Prime Minister of New Zealand Jacinda Ardern and the Prime Minister of the Cook Islands Mark Brown have announced passengers from the Cook Islands can resume quarantine-free travel into New Zealand from 21 January, enabling access to essential services such as health. “Following confirmation of the Cook Islands’ COVID ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Supporting communities and landowners to grow employment opportunities
    Jobs for Nature funding is being made available to conservation groups and landowners to employ staff and contractors in a move aimed at boosting local biodiversity-focused projects, Conservation Minister Kiritapu Allan has announced. It is estimated some 400-plus jobs will be created with employment opportunities in ecology, restoration, trapping, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Border exception for some returning international tertiary students
    The Government has approved an exception class for 1000 international tertiary students, degree level and above, who began their study in New Zealand but were caught offshore when border restrictions began. The exception will allow students to return to New Zealand in stages from April 2021. “Our top priority continues ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Tiwai deal gives time for managed transition
    Today’s deal between Meridian and Rio Tinto for the Tiwai smelter to remain open another four years provides time for a managed transition for Southland. “The deal provides welcome certainty to the Southland community by protecting jobs and incomes as the region plans for the future. The Government is committed ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New member for APEC Business Advisory Council
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has appointed Anna Curzon to the APEC Business Advisory Council (ABAC). The leader of each APEC economy appoints three private sector representatives to ABAC. ABAC provides advice to leaders annually on business priorities. “ABAC helps ensure that APEC’s work programme is informed by business community perspectives ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Govt’s careful economic management recognised
    The Government’s prudent fiscal management and strong policy programme in the face of the COVID-19 global pandemic have been acknowledged by the credit rating agency Fitch. Fitch has today affirmed New Zealand’s local currency rating at AA+ with a stable outlook and foreign currency rating at AA with a positive ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Additional actions to keep COVID-19 out of NZ
    The Government is putting in place a suite of additional actions to protect New Zealand from COVID-19, including new emerging variants, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “Given the high rates of infection in many countries and evidence of the global spread of more transmissible variants, it’s clear that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • 19 projects will clean up and protect waterways
    $36 million of Government funding alongside councils and others for 19 projects Investment will clean up and protect waterways and create local jobs Boots on the ground expected in Q2 of 2021 Funding part of the Jobs for Nature policy package A package of 19 projects will help clean up ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • New Zealand Government acknowledges 175th anniversary of Battle of Ruapekapeka
    The commemoration of the 175th anniversary of the Battle of Ruapekapeka represents an opportunity for all New Zealanders to reflect on the role these conflicts have had in creating our modern nation, says Associate Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Kiri Allan. “The Battle at Te Ruapekapeka Pā, which took ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago