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ImperatorFish: A Day In The Life Of Paula Bennett

Written By: - Date published: 2:07 pm, October 18th, 2012 - 25 comments
Categories: paula bennett - Tags:

Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of these posts here and here.

8:54 am

So John Tamihere wants to stand against me in Waitakere. Well good luck to him, I say, because the people of Waitakere adore me. I’m constantly astonished whenever I go walking about in Henderson at the number of people who honk their car horns, shake their fists, or start yelling at me. It’s nice to know they’re so vocal in their support.

9:31 am

People accuse me of not caring. But it hurts when they say such things, really it does. Hey, I’ve been there and done that, and I know how hard it can be. But look where I ended up. Who would have guessed a solo mum Westie chick would end up as a Minister of the Crown? I tell people who are down and out that if they work hard then they too can one day be in a position to take away from others the entitlements they had.

9:50 am

I tripped over as I was walking in the carpark to my electorate office, and the bundle of papers I was carrying ended up on the ground. A member of the public rushed over to help me, but I don’t bear him any ill-will.

1.48 pm

Joining LinkedIn was a big mistake. Now I’m being asked to connect with all sorts of people I’ve never even heard of. Who the heck is Ian McKelvie?

2:12 pm

I asked for a cappuccino, not a latte! It’s totally unacceptable that I am being treated this way by café staff. Let’s see how they like having all their financial records released to the public. I’m sorry if that sounds a little drastic, but they made the decision to serve me the wrong coffee.

2:24 pm

Called Peter to find out if I could get their IRD records. He burbled something about tax secrecy. God, he’s a boring old man.

3:36 pm

I’m really concerned about the plight of our young people. Life is difficult for them, and so many of them are without work. But we’re doing our best to help them, by making it harder for them to get benefits, imposing tighter conditions on their spending, reducing their incomes by introducing youth wages, and making it easier for employers to fire them at will. It’s tough medicine, but I have no doubt they will thank us in the end for motivating them to move to Australia.

4:58 pm

Got home to find the wind had blown over my Sky TV dish, leaving it dangling precariously  I got on the phone and told Sky TV to send someone over straight away, because I couldn’t afford to miss The Ridges, but they told me all their service-people were busy. Anyway, a guy eventually turned up and was just about to climb his ladder onto my roof when I ran outside and said “what do you think you’re doing?” I ripped the ladder away from him and told him I was keeping it. I’ve got quite a collection of ladders in the garage. Then he started having a go at me, saying he couldn’t do his job without the ladder. I said to him “You can’t talk to me like that. Don’t you know who I am?” “I know who you are, Mrs Shipley,” he said. “Now give me back my bloody ladder!” I told him to piss off. The cheek of the man!

6:17 pm

I assured the media today that I have not seen anyone in this government taking a cavalier attitude towards the privacy of others. It’s why I had all the mirrors in my house removed.

25 comments on “ImperatorFish: A Day In The Life Of Paula Bennett”

  1. Tom 1

    Dear Paula, thank you for that.

    You say that you are a “westie”, but I had heard that you are a Taupo girl.
    There is nothing wrong with Taupo – except perhaps the 5.5 Richter tremor
    10k NW of its caldera yesterday. I guess it goes to show that you cannot get everything right. We live in interesting times ..

    Cheers, Tom.

  2. Tom 2

    Dear Paula,

    What will be your next career move after this responsible position ?

    Regards,

    Tom.

    • leftriteleft 2.1

      Dear Paula,
      That’s a good question. Because? If you blindly sell your soul to Dunnokeyo you’ll be out of a job. And I can’t wait until that coin turns.
      Your leader is comiting political suicide.
      See ya Paula. Have a nice tomorrow, and enjoy, it’s not going to last forever.

    • Dr Terry 2.2

      Tom. Her next career? To again become a beneficiary of course!

  3. Tom Gould 3

    Scott omitted meal times, or are these the bits bewteen 6am and 8.54am, 10am and 1.48pm, and 6.30pm and 10pm?

    • Beryl Streep 3.1

      Ha ha, Paula is fat. That’s some seriously good satire Tom, well done. Let’s really stick it to those female MP’s who don’t stack up to our expectations of attractiveness, misogyny ftw!

      • xtasy 3.1.1

        It’s not the size, it is what you do with it, perhaps? Mega Ego too, but is it deserved and of value and credit?

      • Tom Gould 3.1.2

        Same goes for Gerry, too. Or would that be misandry? Bottom line, bloated Tories sticking it to kids without breakfast. Fair game in my book.

        • Tim 3.1.2.1

          Of course they’re fair game Tom, especially when they pass judgement on others as they do – repeatedly. I’m not sure we can be certain though that Pulla Bent is actually fat. The only images I’ve ever seen of the woman are either airbrushed photos or on TV never showing anything below a Pamela Anderson bust.
          The only way I might get a glimpse I spose is to look out for a wheelbarrow carrying an ample load of sloth pushed by a woman wearing leapardskin shoes.

  4. Rogue Trooper 4

    What was very sad to hear uttered in a New Zealand Parliament today was the Minister of Social Development arguing that ” we are focusing on those (children) that would otherwise end up broken or dead” and in pursuit of higher Standard here endeth my foray into political commentary.
    🙂
    ( except to acknowledge Banksie’s employment of Aotearoa New Zealand in his second reading debate of the hammering of the education sector)

    • xtasy 4.1

      What about the youth, the unemployed, that are having to compete for non existing jobs, that are pressured by WINZ and employers to do all to take on any job, to do all to earn a living, while WINZ is upping the threshold to be entitled for a meagre, poor survival and a crap benefit?

      Now the minimum wage for youth up to 19 of age to be lowered to just over 10 dollars.

      What about those NOT managing, those that contemplate, try and in some cases even do take their lives?

      Does damned high moral Paula Beneshit ever think of this? Does she ever think of mentally ill and unstable struggling to defend themselves, while her hatchet doctors try all to throw people off sickness and invalid’s benefits? Does she lie straight in bed at night, does she sleep “in peace”, perhaps, does she even bloody care, apart from her damned verbal diarrhea over broadcasted by mainstream media all the time?

      I feel Paula Bennett does not really give much of a shit, apart from holy holy grail pretencious shit, for her agenda, and her masters in the damned National Party!

  5. captain hook 5

    why does New Zealand end up in the power of these lowbrow speedfreaks everytime there is a turn of the wheel.
    Must be something in the spray the lazy bastards use because they are too stupid to use a hoe.
    oh and the colchicine in the clones.
    yetcccccch!

    • bbfloyd 5.1

      “must be something in the spray”… I have been wondering if johnny has started showing the long term side effects of whatever it was that made his eyes so moist, and red, right through the ninties…..

  6. My thoughts.

    9.31 These young ones have to learn the hard way if i am going to teach them anything,
    and i’m just the westie to do it, i will cut benefits,that’ll teach them,i will put
    retrictions on them,that’ll control them,i will give them a card for food etc
    that way i can see what they are buying,that’ll help me understand if they can
    manage with less on their card,perhaps i might be able to see where the $50
    bucks goes to,hmm,anyway ‘they love me,all’

    1200 Lunch time, thank goodness, someone joked i get too much to eat when i’m
    at Bellamy’s but i dont think so,its good food and drink and i dont have to pay
    anything,so why not make use of it.

    1500 Afternoon tea time, there is alot of talk about the gcsb,who are they ? never
    heard of them,i asked john,bill,gerry,that general fella,they haven’t heard of
    the gcsb either,strange,i banged into winston,he was really annoyed,he had
    this paper work that he had to pick up off the floor,i helped him,he told me
    he has all he needs to hunt down those involved in the gcsb conspiricy, i just dont
    know what he is on about,beats me

    1800 Home thank god for that, it’s been a tough day,there has been a bit of a
    security leak in the kiosk’s, but its nothing to worry about,i will make
    enquiries after tea,it will be ok,i think,privacy is just a seven letter word
    anyway

  7. captain hook 7

    and now its time for a big fat”J”.

  8. Red Rosa 8

    And my very own Facebook page is going rilly, rilly, well…..

    http://www.facebook.com/PaulaBennettHasToGo?ref=stream

  9. 12:00 am
    911 call log:
    “I’m telling you there is a white van outside with people inside ….. There’s GCSB written on the side”
    “Call 111 …. 48 HOURS …. what do u mean there’s nothing u can do?”
    Look do you know who I AM?”
    (*c-click-beep-beep-beep-beep-…..*)

  10. Frankie and Benjy Mouse 10

    Hon PAULA BENNETT: I have not leaked any information or any beneficiaries’ information. That member may struggle with that, but I transparently put it out there and did it myself without any—I know that the Opposition struggles with that, because those members prefer to pass little notes under doorways to the media, and everything else. I point-blankly went out there and said what I said. So there has been no leak from me.

    http://www.parliament.nz/en-NZ/PB/Business/QOA/4/3/2/50HansQ_20121017_00000008-8-Social-Development-Ministry-Report-on.htm

    Apparently breaching privacy is fine as long as you don’t “leak” it. !!!!!!!!!

  11. xtasy 11

    Always think positive, dear Paula, there is always a place and some use for you.

    Once they get rid of you, a new shining career is at your doorstep, I suppose:

    Just take an example of this:


    Maybe apply for “Canadian” or another idol show, they’d love ya!

    Best wishes,

    You need it!

  12. xtasy 12

    Paula –

    Who was the father of your daughter? Did you name him, did you “dob” him in, as you now seem to expect others to do? How do you feel about having been given a good chance by the taxpayer to help you to study on the training incentive allowance to get where you are now, but you deny the same chance to sole parents and invalid’s now, since actually 2009?

    Are you happy to be a mercenary to Key and rot gang? Must be nice to get over half a mil a year.

    What if Dotcom comes to you tomorrow and offers you a job paying 10 to 50 k more than you get now, any second thoughts?

    No morals and values I can detect in your recent conduct and behaviour, I am afraid.

    Go and bugger off, the sooner the better, dear lady.

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    The Government’s three prevention frameworks to reduce family violence in Aotearoa were launched this week by Associate Minister for Social Development Poto Williams.   The frameworks were developed in partnership with communities around New Zealand, and build on the work the Government has already begun with its new family violence prevention ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Govt confirms investment in better radiology and surgical services for Hawke’s Bay
    The Government is pleased to confirm funding for improvements to radiology and surgical services at Hawke's Bay DHB, Health Minister Chris Hipkins says.     "The Minister of Finance the Hon Grant Robertson and former Health Minister Dr David Clark approved funding for Hawke's Bay DHB’s redevelopment of their radiology facilities ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Specialist alcohol and drug addiction services strengthened across New Zealand
    •    New funding for four beds at Napier’s Springhill Residential Addiction Centre •    A new managed withdrawal home and community service, and peer support before and after residential care at Tairāwhiti DHB  •    A co-ordinated network of withdrawal management services throughout the South Island •    Peer support in Rotorua and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Coastal Shipping Webinar
    Introduction, seafarers and POAL Good morning everyone, I am delighted to be online with you all today. Before I begin, I have to acknowledge that COVID-19 has disrupted the maritime sector on an unprecedented scale. The work of seafarers and the maritime industry is keeping many economies around the world ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Support for resilient rail connection to the West Coast
    A $13 million investment from Government will create jobs and improve the resilience of the rail connection between Christchurch and the West Coast, Infrastructure Minister Shane Jones and Regional Economic Development Under-Secretary Fletcher Tabuteau say. The funding comes from the tagged contingency set aside in Budget 2020 for infrastructure projects ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Major investment in safe drinking water
    The Government is investing $761 million to assist local government upgrade under-pressure water services across the country, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Local Government Minister Nanaia Mahuta announced today.  The announcement was made at the site of the water bore that was found to be the source of the fatal ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Supporting stranded seasonal workers to keep working with more flexible options
    Recognised Seasonal Employers and migrant seasonal workers stranded in New Zealand will be able to continue working and supporting themselves with more flexible hours and roles, says Immigration Minister Iain Lees-Galloway. The time-limited visa changes are: Stranded RSE workers will be able to work part-time (a minimum of 15 hours ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Relief for temporary migrants, employers and New Zealanders who need work
    The Government is making immediate short-term changes to visa settings to support temporary migrants already onshore in New Zealand and their employers, while also ensuring New Zealanders needing work are prioritised, Immigration Minister Iain Lees-Galloway says. We are: Extending temporary work visas due to expire by the end of 2020 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Freshwater commissioners and fast-track consenting convenor appointed
    Professor Peter Skelton CNZM has been appointed as Chief Freshwater Commissioner and Alternate Environment Court Judge Craig James Thompson as Deputy Chief Freshwater Commissioner for the newly established Freshwater Planning Process (FPP). Environment Minister David Parker today also announced the appointment of Chief Environment Court Judge Laurie Newhook as the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Appointment of Judge of the High Court
    Auckland Queen’s Counsel Neil Campbell has been appointed a Judge of the High Court, Attorney‑General David Parker announced today. Justice Campbell graduated with a BCom and LLB (Hons) from the University of Auckland in 1992. He spent two years with Bell Gully Buddle Weir in Auckland before travelling to the United ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Feedback sought – Commercial Film and Video Production Facilities
    The Associate Minister for Greater Christchurch Regeneration, Poto Williams, is seeking feedback on a proposal to better enable the development and operation of commercial film and video facilities in Christchurch. The Proposal, developed by Regenerate Christchurch in response to a request from Christchurch City Council, asks that powers under section ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Govt launches bold primary sector plan to boost economic recovery
    The Government has launched a bold plan to boost primary sector export earnings by $44 billion over the next decade, while protecting the environment and growing jobs. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern today released Fit for a Better World – Accelerating our Economic Potential, a 10-year roadmap to unlock greater value ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Wellbeing of whanau at heart of new hub
    A new approach to prevent family harm that encourages greater collaboration across government and community groups is being celebrated at the opening of a new facility in Auckland. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern today opened the Multi-Disciplinary Family Harm Prevention Hub Te Taanga Manawa in Lambie Road in Manukau. The facility ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Report on Auckland Port Relocation
    The Government has released a major new report on the options for relocating the Port of Auckland’s freight operations while deferring any decision on the issue. “That decision needs to be informed by policy analysis that is still to be completed. As a result it will be up to a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Dual place names for Te Pātaka-o-Rākaihautū / Banks Peninsula features
    The history of Rāpaki is being restored through the inclusion of te reo in thirteen official place names on Te Pātaka-o-Rākaihautū / Banks Peninsula and around Lyttelton Harbour/Whakaraupō, the Minister for Land Information, Eugenie Sage, announced today.   “I am pleased to approve the proposals from Te Hapū o Ngāti ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government and Air New Zealand agree to manage incoming bookings
    Bookings for seats on Air New Zealand flights into New Zealand will be managed in the short term to ensure the Government is able to safely place New Zealanders arriving home into a managed isolation or quarantine facility, says Housing Minister Megan Woods.  “Last week Air Commodore Darryn Webb and I ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • $80 million for sport recovery at all levels
    Grant Robertson has today announced the first major release of funding from the $265 million Sport Recovery Package announced at Budget 2020.  “Today we’re setting out how $80 million will be invested, with $54 million of that over the 2020/2021 financial year for organisations from community level through to elite ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Keeping ACC levies steady until 2022
    The Government is maintaining current levy rates for the next 2 years, as part of a set of changes to help ease the financial pressures of COVID-19 providing certainty for businesses and New Zealanders, ACC Minister Iain Lees-Galloway says. “New Zealanders and businesses are facing unprecedented financial pressures as a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago