ImperatorFish: A prayer to the One
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- Date published:
2:21 pm, October 10th, 2013 - 3 comments
Categories: Satire -
Tags: reserve bank
Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.
A humble prayer entreating the favour of the One whose august majesty we must never dare to question.
Our Reserve Bank Governor, who art in Wellington,
hallowed be thy monetary policy;
thy LVRs come;
thy will be done,
in the housing market as it is in the banking sector.
Give us this day our official cash rate.
And forgive us our currency trading,
as we forgive those who speculate on the New Zealand dollar.
And lead us not into an overheated economy;
but deliver us from inflation.
For thine is the independence,
the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.
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Until yesterday there had been only three pronouncements from The Beehive since Election Day, October 17. One of those had been jointly made by Winston Peters as Minister of Foreign Affairs and Ron Mark as Minister of Defence, presumably a last-gasp announcement before they are despatched to the political wilderness ...2 hours ago - Every meat-free fast food burger in New Zealand, reviewed and rankedKind-of vegetarian Alex Casey brings you the only meat-free fast-food burger ranking you’ll ever need. At the start of the year, several centuries ago, I went vegetarian. Kind of. As a coward with commitment issues, I decided to enter into a dietary Yes Man situation, where I would always say “yes” ...3 hours ago
- Cannabis: 'lukewarm' Govt left gap for fake news
Fiona Hutton is trying hard to hope some positive change to drug laws is still possible, but the Government reaction to the cannabis referendum result has left her despairing As someone who campaigned for an evidence based ‘yes’ vote, for much needed reform of our drug laws, I am currently ...3 hours ago - Live updates, October 31: Labour-Greens agreement expected this weekendWelcome to The Spinoff’s live updates for October 31. All the latest New Zealand news, updated throughout the day. Reach me on aliceneville@thespinoff.co.nz8.00am: We could have a new government this weekendWhile yesterday was all about the referendum results, today our attention turns to the little matter of a new government ...4 hours ago
- Finding solace in the crowdCrowd-hater Michelle Langstone finds a new appreciation for being amid a maelstrom of humanity.I’ve always found crowds panic-inducing, sweaty, noisy and lacking in manners. My attitude to crowds is akin to an 80-year-old woman who’s cross about the neighbour’s dog getting into her garden — no time for it, inclined ...7 hours ago
- NZ referendum preliminary results – yes to euthanasia reform, no to cannabis
The euthanasia referendum has passed New Zealand’s public vote, with 65.2 percent voting in favour, but the cannabis question has 53.1 percent voting “no” so far, preliminary results show. The number of voters who chose “no” in the End of Life Choice referendum reached 33.8 percent. In the cannabis question, ...10 hours ago - Tall Fern mum on the road with her baby Boomer
Tall Ferns three-point shooting wizard Ashleigh Karaitiana has signed up to the Melbourne Boomers for this season's WNBL, wanting to show athlete mums they can continue living their dream. Besides the obvious goal to walk away with a championship title, Ashleigh Karaitiana wants nothing more than to prove that women ...11 hours ago - Eden Park concerts' economic benefits queried
Will allowing six big concerts a year at Eden Park really bring in economic benefits for Auckland? A retracted council document says no. Next week Eden Park makes its costly, final bid to over-ride homeowners' concerns and win the right to stage regular rock concerts - but faces questions over its claims ...11 hours ago - Farah Palmer gives All Blacks a run for their money
LISTEN: The Extra Time podcast debate which drums up more excitement - the All Blacks v Wallabies, or the Farah Palmer Cup final? The Bledisloe Cup is yet to be decided. There have been a few changes to both the All Blacks and Wallabies sides and Australia is set to ...11 hours ago - Short story: Mallrats, by Angelique Kasmara
"The customer she’s serving is telling her how hard it’s been having to work from home and look good for Zoom meetings": a lockdown saga by Angelique Kasmara The wind’s gone still, it’s my bike that’s doing the groaning. It carries on like this all the way up the ramp, ...11 hours ago - Ruby Tui's plans to help next gen sevens stars
WATCH: Sevens speedster Ruby Tui talks equality, mental health, breakfast with a tennis legend and the tough lessons learned from Olympic silver, on The Pod. Although the spectre of the Rio Olympics sevens final loss still looms large for Ruby Tui, the Black Ferns star has other big audacious goals on her ...11 hours ago - For French Muslims, every terror attack brings questions about their loyalty to the republicSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Greg Barton, Chair in Global Islamic Politics, Alfred Deakin Institute for Citizenship and Globalisation, Deakin University After three people died in a knife attack in Nice this week that French President Emmanuel Macron called an “Islamist terrorist attack”, there was a sense ...17 hours ago
- Labor politicians need not fear: Queenslanders are no more attached to coal than the rest of Austral...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Bruce Tranter, Professor of Sociology, University of Tasmania It’s written into electoral folklore that Labor was wiped out at the 2019 federal election because Queensland didn’t like its position on coal. As the story goes, Labor’s lukewarm support for the Adani coal ...17 hours ago
- Taxpayers' Union Vindicated With Release Of Napier City's Golden Handshake To Sacked CEO
The New Zealand Tax payers' Union is welcoming confirmation that previous claims by Napier Mayor Kirsten Wise that Council CEO Wayne Jack 'resigned' were untrue. Further, the Taxpayers' Union welcomes overdue public disclosure of the amount agreed ...17 hours ago - As it happened: Referendum results and reactionsThe Justice Minister says it is "highly unlikely" the preliminary referendum results will be overturned on the special votes. See how the day unfolded with RNZ's live blog. ...17 hours ago
- Set up national air fleet to fight fires, says royal commission, warning of worsening weatherSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra Australia should develop a national aerial fire fighting capability and fuel load management strategies should be more transparent, the inquiry set up following last summer’s devastating bushfires has recommended. In its 80 recommendations, including many ...18 hours ago
- The bushfire royal commission has made a clarion call for change. Now we need politics to followSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By David Bowman, Professor of Pyrogeography and Fire Science, University of Tasmania The bushfire royal commission today handed down its long-awaited final report. At almost 1,000 pages, it will take us all some time to digest. But it marks the start of Australia’s ...18 hours ago
- Covid-19: A Tale Of Two Islands“Taiwan continues to outperform New Zealand in its Covid-19 response,” says ACT Leader David Seymour. “While Taiwan allows new arrivals to isolate at home, our Government has done such a poor job of running managed isolation and quarantine ...18 hours ago
- The cannabis vote is a defeat for health and justice. And a victory for political spinelessnessLabour is presenting the preliminary results in the referendum on legalisation as an endorsement of the status quo. It is no such thing, writes Madeleine Holden.Unless about two-thirds of special voters ticked “yes” in the cannabis referendum, the Cannabis Legalisation and Control Bill will not be introduced as legislation. Basically, ...18 hours ago
- The Unity Books children’s bestseller chart for the month of OctoberWhat’s the best way to get adults reading? Get them reading when they’re children – and there’s no better place to start than the Unity Children’s Bestseller Chart.AUCKLAND1 Neands by Dan Salmon (OneTree House, $24, 12+)A note on the font: we found it almost impossible to read. Those who’ve persevered ...18 hours ago
- The bushfire royal commission sets a strong precedent for change. Now we need politics to followSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By David Bowman, Professor of Pyrogeography and Fire Science, University of Tasmania The bushfire royal commission today handed down its long-awaited final report. At almost 1,000 pages, it will take us all some time to digest. But it marks the start of Australia’s ...18 hours ago
- Review: Cursed! is a play of outrageous wit and deep thoughtSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Anthony Uhlmann, Professor of English, Writing and Society Research Centre, Western Sydney University Review: Cursed! by Kodie Bedford, directed by Jason Klarwein Tucked away at the back of the program for Kodie Bedford’s first play Cursed! is a blurb on Belvoir, mentioning ...18 hours ago
- Cannabis referendum: Greens not giving up on 'yes' vote yetThe Green Party's drug reform spokesperson Chlöe Swarbrick is not yet giving up hope the vote on cannabis law reform will swing her way. ...19 hours ago
- Keith Rankin Chart Analysis – Covid-19: Belgium, Switzerland and SwedenAnalysis by Keith Rankin. Belgium has had the highest statistics per capita in the European Union. Chart by Keith Rankin. This week’s charts show three small economically prosperous European countries with similar populations; Belgium has 11.6 million people, Switzerland 8.6 million, and Sweden has 10.1 million. Belgium has the third highest ...19 hours ago
- How political parties legally harvest your data and use it to bombard you with election spamSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Erica Mealy, Lecturer in Computer Science, University of the Sunshine Coast On Monday October 26, five days ahead of Queensland’s election, many voters received an unsolicited text message from Clive Palmer’s mining company Mineralogy, accusing Labor of planning to introduce a “death ...19 hours ago
- Yes, Adele has sung its praises. But the Sirtfood diet may be just another fadSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Clare Collins, Professor in Nutrition and Dietetics, University of Newcastle The Sirtfood diet has been in the news again this week after singer Adele showed off her slimmed-down figure on US comedy show Saturday Night Live. Adele has previously credited her significant ...19 hours ago
- Cannabis: What now for the law and police
Donations of $4.20 a week to the 'yes' campaign weren’t enough to swing the preliminary results of the cannabis referendum to ‘yes’ vote for legalisation The Cannabis Legalisation and Control Bill got the thumbs down with 53.1 percent of votes against legalisation and 46.1 percent of votes for it. There are ...19 hours ago - How COVID all but killed the Australian CBDSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Paul J. Maginn, Associate Professor of Urban/Regional Planning, University of Western Australia The central business district has historically been the beating heart of metropolitan regions across Australia. The polished glass and steel high-rise offices, hotels and apartment complexes stand as monuments to ...20 hours ago
- The Unity Books bestseller chart for the week ending October 30The only published and available best-selling indie book chart in New Zealand is the top 10 sales list recorded every week at Unity Books’ stores in High St, Auckland, and Willis St, Wellington.AUCKLAND1 Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon’s True Story of the Life-changing Magic of Compassion & Mindfulness by ...20 hours ago
- Bryce Edwards’ Political Roundup: A diverse yet narrower Parliament20 hours ago
- Cannabis Referendum Results Show That The Government Needs To Be Courageous On Drug Law ReformThe provisional results on the Cannabis Legalisation and Control bill referendum show that the government needs to step up and show courageous leadership to implement evidence based drug law reform. “Of the people who voted, ...20 hours ago
- The breakout star of the new season of The Crown is… New ZealandA new trailer for season four of The Crown dropped overnight, and big news, Aotearoa: we’re in it. London-based Māori group Ngāti Rānana has confirmed they were involved in filming a haka scene.The fourth season of Netflix’s award-winning drama about the life and reign of Queen Elizabeth II premieres next ...20 hours ago
- Euthanasia Referendum Result Extremely Disappointing“The voters of New Zealand have spoken, and we are naturally extremely disappointed with the outcome of the End of Life Choice Act Referendum,” Care Alliance spokesperson Doctor Sinead Donnelly says. “This is not ...20 hours ago
- VIDEO: Michelle Grattan on state borders, Australia post, and Doha airportSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra University of Canberra Professorial Fellow Michelle Grattan and Vice-Chancellor and President Paddy Nixon discuss the week in politics. This week the pair discuss the ongoing disputes between the federal and state governments concerning borders, Australian ...20 hours ago
- Cannabis Summit To Lock In Gains Despite Referendum Result“Medicinal Cannabis is set to deliver some big economic wins for the country despite the referendum on recreational cannabis now unlikely to pass. Let’s not forget the majority of companies have not been focused on recreational, rather the medicinal ...20 hours ago
- The Friday Poem: Sentries by Lily HollowayA new poem from Auckland poet Lily Holloway.Sentries I’m frantically chasing my mother who weaves in and out of the aisles throwing down craft supplies. I trip over scissors and quick unpicks not seeing her face, only clean ponytail and collar poking out over plum cardigan. We ...20 hours ago
- No Vote Not A Vote For Inaction: Decriminalisation UrgedThe cannabis referendum result was released today with 46.1% of New Zealanders voting in favour of legalisation, and 53.1% against. The gap will likely close to some degree when remaining votes are counted, but the jury is still out on whether it can close ...20 hours ago
- “Yes” Vote For Euthanasia Puts Vulnerable On A Dangerous PathThe approval of the End of Life Choice Act Referendum puts vulnerable people and those who care for them on an unwelcome and dangerous path, says the ethics expert for the Catholic bishops, Dr John Kleinsman. “For very many people the End of Life ...21 hours ago
- Referendum: NZ Maori Council Calls For More Focus On The Health And Criminal Justice SystemThe New Zealand Maori Council has thanked the public of New Zealand for being bold and brave when it comes to the two national referendum questions – one on the End of Life Choice Bill and the second on Cannabis. Speaking to media outlets on the ...21 hours ago
- French minister Lecornu holds future talks in New Caledonia retreatFrench Overseas Minister Sebastien Lecornu has held talks with 10 New Caledonian politicians at a retreat near Noumea to promote dialogue between rival camps, saying a new accord will emerge. The minister, who delayed yesterday’s planned departure for Paris by at least two days, convened five anti-independence and five pro-independence ...21 hours ago
- Make It Legal Not Giving Up Following Preliminary Result On Cannabis Referendum...21 hours ago
- End of Life Choice Group Welcomes Yes VoteThe Yes vote in the End of Life Choice referendum brings a successful conclusion to a 42-year campaign to let terminally ill New Zealanders die peacefully at a time they choose. “At long last, the people’s wishes have been granted,” said Dr ...21 hours ago
- Euthanasia Law Will Be A Danger To The VulnerableFamily First NZ says that the End of Life Choice Act – a.k.a. euthanasia law – will be a danger to both the vulnerable and society in general. “It is one thing to say yes to a nice sounding phrase around having ‘choice’, but assisted suicide ...21 hours ago
- Prime Minister says she voted 'yes' in two referendumsPrime Minister Jacinda Ardern says she voted "yes" in the referendums on voluntary euthanasia and the legalisation of recreational cannabis. ...21 hours ago
- SATIRE: Drug Dealer's Union Thank Voters...21 hours ago
- Yes For Compassion Celebrates 65% Referendum Victory: “Kiwis Have Voted For Compassion And Choice....Supporters of Yes for Compassion celebrate today’s referendum results showing 65.2% of Kiwis voted ‘yes’ to the End of Life Choice Act becoming law in New Zealand. Preliminary results, released this afternoon by the Electoral Commission, ...21 hours ago
- The Salvation Army Expresses Serious Concern Over Referendum ResultThe Salvation Army is extremely concerned that assisted dying will become legal in New Zealand when the End Of Life Choice Act is adopted in a year’s time. We believe many New Zealanders are unaware of the lack of safeguards contained within ...21 hours ago
- NZ Union Of Students’ Associations And Te Mana Ākonga Respond To Cannabis Referendum Results.The preliminary result of the Cannabis Referendum announced today (46.1% in favour of legalisation, 53.1% opposed) provide some hope to the New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA) and Te Mana Ākonga (National Māori Tertiary Students’ Association), ...21 hours ago
- NZ rejects cannabis legalisation in referendum, but glimmer of hope for yes campBy a narrow margin, the cannabis legalisation and control bill has been voted down based on preliminary referendum results. There remains, however, a slim chance it could still win on special votes. On preliminary results, the cannabis legalisation and control bill will not become law, after falling short at the referendum.The ...22 hours ago
- Assisted dying will become legal in New Zealand in a year — what has to happen now?Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Andrew Geddis, Professor of Law, University of Otago The preliminary results of New Zealand’s referendum on the End of Life Choice Act were conclusive. Some 65.2% of voters supported the law coming into force, while 33.8% opposed it. Although around 480,000 special ...22 hours ago
- GPs Cautious About ‘yes’ Vote On End Of Life Choice BillIn 12 months’ time some of New Zealand’s GPs could be enabling their patient to end their life after today’s preliminary ‘yes’ vote in the End of Life Bill referendum. In a similar way to the abortion legislation, GPs will work within the ...22 hours ago
- Referendum preliminary results: Yes to euthanasia reform, no to cannabisThe euthanasia referendum has passed the public vote, with 65.2 percent voting in favour, but the cannabis question has 53.1 percent voting 'no' so far, preliminary results show. ...22 hours ago
- Preliminary Referendum Results ReleasedThe Electoral Commission has released the preliminary results of the end of life choice and cannabis legalisation and control referendums. The preliminary results are based on the count of ordinary votes cast in advance and on election day and ...22 hours ago
- Yes votes prevail in assisted dying referendumThe End of Life Choice Act will be enforced in 12 months’ time, with 65.2% voting yes in the referendum.Assisted dying will be legal in 12 months’ time, according to the preliminary results of the End of Life Choice referendum, which showed 65.2% voted yes and 33.8% no.The yes votes ...22 hours ago
- The Salvation Army Calls For The Decriminalisation Of Cannabis In Light Of The No VoteThe Salvation Army is pleased with the referendum result rejecting the legalisation of cannabis. There was a groundswell of support for reforming cannabis law towards a more health-based approach by many who voted ‘yes’ and ‘no’ in this referendum, ...22 hours ago
- Ending your life is a choice, now what?
As expected, the End of Life Choice Act will come into force. David Williams explains what that means The votes are in, the debate over. The End of Life Choice Act, passed in Parliament but on hold until this vote, has been supported by 65.2 percent of voters at the ...22 hours ago - Referendum resultsEnd of Life Choice Referendum The referendum asked the question: "Do you support the End of Life Choice Act 2019 coming into force?" 65.2% Yes 33.8% No 1.0% Informal VOTES NUMBER OF VOTES RECEIVED PERCENTAGE OF TOTAL VOTES Yes 1,574,645 65.2% ...22 hours ago
- When, and how, will we learn about the Labour-Green government deal?With the Greens or without them, Labour is expected to form a new government next week. As negotiations between the two parties reach their conclusion, Justin Giovannetti walks us through how the next government will be formed.Labour and the Greens will finish their fifth and almost certainly final meeting today ...22 hours ago
- Referendum Result Is Based On ConfusionEuthanasia-Free NZ is disappointed that the New Zealand public voted to pass a flawed euthanasia law, based on widespread confusion. Polling during the advance voting period showed that 80% of New Zealand adults were misunderstanding what the End of ...23 hours ago
- Council Votes For Māori WardKaipara District Council has voted to establish a new Māori ward to improve opportunities for Māori to contribute to local Government decision-making. The Statistics NZ estimates the Māori electoral population in Kaipara to be 3,630 and the general electoral ...23 hours ago
- Live updates: Referendum results and reactionsPreliminary results for the recreational cannabis and euthanasia referendums are due at 2pm. Follow our live blog. ...23 hours ago
- Research shows whipping horses doesn’t make them run faster, straighter or safer — let’s cut i...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Kirrilly Thompson, Adjunt Senior Research Fellow, University of South Australia The Melbourne Cup is upon us. This year will be different due to COVID-19 — but one thing we don’t expect to change is concern about horses’ welfare, which seems to resurface ...23 hours ago
- Hurrah for Dame Hilda – but when her statue is unveiled, here’s hoping someone remembers which p...
TOTI – a charitable trust in Hamilton – this week announced that a public sculpture commemorating political pioneer Dame Hilda Ross and the 1919 Women’s Parliamentary Rights Act will be unveiled in Hamilton tomorrow. But Dame Hilda’s National Party stripes were curiously camouflaged in the TOTI press statement Actually, they are ...23 hours ago - ‘What are you Christians doing here?’ Matt Renata on faith and protest at IhumātaoMatt Renata was a constant presence at Ihumātao, assembling what he calls a ‘church of the good vibes’. He tells Justin Latif about tackling the sceptics, and his work with old friend Pania Newtown.“Why do you believe in this colonised God?” That’s the question Protect Ihumātao co-leader Pania Newton put to ...23 hours ago
- Making monsters – the depiction of mental illness in horror
Horror movies and some characters mimicked at Halloween can carry worrying sterotypes of mental illness, writes Snita Ahir-Knight With Halloween upon us, let’s talk about horror. As someone who works in the area of mental health, I am aware many horror films – and other genres – depict negative stereotypes ...23 hours ago - Gone, and soon forgotten
Among the political nobodies and also-rans we will neither get to know nor get to forget, James Elliott anticipates one potential record-breaker After all the buzz and excitement of the general election we’re now in the crouch and bind phase before our politicians set to each other in earnest in the ...24 hours ago - A year in Aotearoa: The photos that captured New ZealandJames Borrowdale learns the stories behind the images nominated for the New Zealand Geographic Photographer of the Year.The room is crowded, cramped with the memories and resonances of a life. “A simple life lived, and a hard life lived,” photographer Nathan Secker said of his entry, a finalist in the ...24 hours ago
- Lifting The Ban On Live Animal Export: Let's Get Angry!Author: Lynley Tulloch (with Paul Judge) I am a big Jacinda Ardern fan on the whole. But I am also an angry Jacinda Ardern fan and here is why: the inexcusable recent decision by the Labour government to lift the temporary ban on live exports. Let’s ...24 hours ago
- Big Buddy Wins Excellence In Community Contribution At The 2020 Westpac Business AwardsBig Buddy, a not for profit organisation that supports boys without fathers in their lives, has won Excellence in Community Contribution at the Westpac Business Awards last night, held in Auckland. The award coincides with a Big Buddy appeal for volunteers ...1 day ago
- Newsletter: New Zealand Politics Daily – October 30 2020Editor’s Note: Here below is a list of the main issues currently under discussion in New Zealand and links to media coverage. Today’s content New Labour Government Thomas Manch (Stuff): A Cabinet to fill: Who will take the top jobs in the new Labour Government? Matthew Hooton (Herald): Jacinda Ardern’s line on the Greens – ...1 day ago
- Emily Writes: The best spooky TV to binge this Halloween weekendAre you excited about spending Halloween on the couch this year? So is Emily Writes, who has some suggestions for a weekend of spooky streaming.If 2020 hasn’t been scary enough for you and you’re looking to be terrified this Halloween, there’s plenty to watch on all of the streaming services. ...1 day ago
- Cannabis Referendum Result Announced Today: Compromise And Consensus Are Needed, Says NORMLAt 2pm today New Zealand will learn the preliminary results of the referendum on the Cannabis Legalisation and Control Bill. Was New Zealand swayed by Reefer Madness fearmongering, or comforted that other places have already done this, and the sky ...1 day ago
A-
Yes!
Am still waiting to see the walking on water bit (suspect Key is saving that for himself).
Fabtastic