ImperatorFish: Analysing The Reshuffle

Written By: - Date published: 2:19 pm, December 13th, 2011 - 11 comments
Categories: national, Satire - Tags: ,

Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here


Analysing The Reshuffle

The King of the Gods, Zeus, yesterday announced a reshuffle of his pantheon, in an effort to freshen up his front bench.

Getting the pantheon lineup right was always going to be one of the trickier tasks facing the Father of Gods and Men, and he will have had to manage some bruised egos during the process.

One of the biggest beneficiaries is Hades, King of the Underworld. The Ruler of the Dead has been a strong performer over the last term and has been rewarded with an elevation to number four in the pecking order. Hades keeps the pits of Tartarus, but also assumes responsibility for economic development, science and innovation, tertiary education and associate finance.

Poseidon, the Earth Shaker, retains responsibility for the earthquake recovery, while Hephaestus remains in the engine room of Zeus’ administration, retaining the critical finance role.

With Apollo’s departure from the pantheon, Athena moves into the Justice role. Putting a god already at war with the legal profession into the role may be a gamble, but the King of the Gods will be relying upon Athena’s famed cleverness and skill in war to ensure all opposition to her is crushed.

Her brother, Ares, the God of War, picks up Defence after impressing with a number of aggressive corporate box displays, and he also gets State Services and an Associate Finance role.

The list is notable for the number of women promoted. In particular, Demeter gets agriculture, while Artemis gets Sports and Recreation.

Hera also moves up into the front bench, but retains her Social Development and Youth Affairs portfolios, after a strong performance in which she drove Heracles mad and destroyed his family. Zeus will be hoping she can do the same with other families.

Hermes remains towards the bottom of the list, but retains the Building and Construction and Customs portfolios.

But with any reshuffle there are inevitable losers. The biggest loser is Atë, who has been stripped of education and now slips out of the top tier, after a ruinous display of folly and delusion in her portfolio.

Later today the Titans announce a new leader. They will be hoping that a new leadership and front bench will increase their chances of ending a long exile in Tartarus. It is expected that an announcement will be made after lunch today.

11 comments on “ImperatorFish: Analysing The Reshuffle”

  1. ianmac 1

    But wot about Narcissus?

  2. lprent 2

    OMG what are going to get next – the hindu pathenon (who’d be Kali?) or the romans?

  3. Anthony 3

    I’m just hoping that they will be able to work constructively with the Norse pantheon.

  4. Yawn this guy or gal is not left of anything except behind.

    • ScottY 4.1

      Comrade, a thousand apologies for my sins against the proletariat. I will purge myself of this rightist anti-worker sentiment by writing a lengthy self-denunciation on my blog.

      [lprent: Can we then replicate that on the mimeograph and spread it across the blank walls. Perhaps a video?

      Thanks for allowing us to replicate your posts. I have to figure out how to RSS feed them to reduce the labours of the workers. ]

    • lprent 4.2

      Dave, you realize that I’m kind of right of center on many topics, left of center on others, have a great set of big green opinions and way left on a handful and way right on a few more. I also think that anyone who can’t program has wasted their life, that flying anywhere is completely daft when you have the net, wearing shoes should only be done when there is a risk of glass, etc etc…

      It takes all sorts on the ‘left’.

      Some of them (like me) would think this post was funny. Mind you, I guess you have to know the greek pathenon. I got introduced to it when I was being taught Latin at school. 

  5. ropata 6

    No Maori seats in the new Pantheon?
    Zeus better not piss off Hone Harawira 🙂

  6. simon 7

    But will the judgment of Paris and the rage of Achilles come back to haunt the halls of Olympus?

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