web analytics

ImperatorFish: Arrest of The Environment ends campaign of terror against businesses

Written By: - Date published: 11:57 am, April 4th, 2013 - 9 comments
Categories: Environment, same old national, Satire - Tags:

Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.


The Environment was today arrested by police, after frustrating business groups for a number of years.

Police moved against The Environment following a tip-off from a concerned member of the public.

The Environment had been in hiding since legislation making environmentalism unlawful was passed by the government.

Minister for Expending Energy and Resources to Change the Climate, Simon Bridges, said the capture of The Environment was good news for the people of New Zealand.

“The Environment’s reign of terror has finally come to an end”, said Mr Bridges. “Now people can go about their lawful business polluting our waterways, destroying our pristine landscapes, and imposing monstrous sprawl upon our biggest cities, without the need to consider The Environment.”

Business New Zealand Chief Executive Phil O’Reilly applauded the arrest of The Environment.

He said that destroying native forests, obliterating green spaces, and laying waste to our entire nation in a slow and methodical manner would be “real wins for business”.

“Using our Kiwi can-do attitude to add value with number eight wire will create a win-win by cutting red tape and make the boat go faster”, said Mr O’Reilly.

“Burble burble burble”, continued the Business New Zealand CEO.

A spokesperson for The Environment denounced the arrest, but refused to comment further for fear that an oil company would seek legislation to criminalise her organisation.

9 comments on “ImperatorFish: Arrest of The Environment ends campaign of terror against businesses ”

  1. Perfectly sums up the situation.

    The oil mining companies must be delighted.

  2. Dv 2

    Currently thE police are taking the astrolab reef into custody.
    A spokesman said the the reef was in flagrent disregard of sfety.

    Name spresioon has been invoked.
    Bthe reef has been allowd bail.

  3. jim 3

    Groundhog day Hobbit.So the corporation has now outlawed protesting on N.Z. high seas, in other words, we have cleared the way for you off shore speculators to come and speculate without interference not only from us but also from our citizens.

  4. aerobubble 4

    Mother Earth hatred. Scared from the memory of their own birth. Only explanation for why they would poison their own food and water, leave their kids to inherit a global collapse. Fiscal, climate, population they don’t care the kind of collapse, the power comes from the knowledge that destruction is on the way, and they were the fathers of it.

    • muzza 4.1

      In reality its a hated of humanity, or the *useless eaters* which drives most of these decisions. The inbred psychopaths who control this world, are hard at work, the evidene is all around!

      Puppets used, such as Bridges, must believe that they are part of the clique, which will be above and beyond the *fall out*, they won’t be!

  5. KiwiOverseas 5

    Business Roundtable’s new slogan: Keeping the proud tradition of slavery alive.

  6. xtasy 6

    Yes, Rodney Hide could never have said it any “better”, right?

    The “environmental terrorists” must be locked away, that will also mean the Green Party will be prohibited, due to being a “terrorist organisation”, and Greenpeace activists will be thrown into the slammer and put into work in newly opened coal mines on conservation land.

    The agenda is set, for NZ to join the rest of the “developing” or 3rd World, many have for so long stubbornly tried to distant themselves from. Earn a living through digging, drilling and prostituting your nation!

    Dig, drill, rip out, rape, mutilate and pillage on a grand scale. National is all for it and is setting the pace now. Legalise rape and there is no more offending. That applies to the natural environment, I emphasize, so others should not read anything else into this.

    This is great distraction by the way, from the new GCSB revelations. Top marks for that, National and Simon (burn the) Bridges.

  7. jim 7

    The arrogance of this Governments corporate rule, tin pot wanabe totalitarians.

Links to post

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • What’s Labour achieved so far?
    Quite a bit! This Government was elected to take on the toughest issues facing Aotearoa – and that’s what we’re doing. Since the start of the pandemic, protecting lives and livelihoods has been a priority, but we’ve also made progress on long-term challenges, to deliver a future the next generation ...
    5 days ago
  • Tackling the big issues in 2022
    This year, keeping Kiwis safe from COVID will remain a key priority of the Government – but we’re also pushing ahead on some of New Zealand’s biggest long-term challenges. In 2022, we’re working to get more Kiwis into homes, reduce emissions, lift children out of poverty, and ensure people get ...
    1 week ago
  • Happy new year, Aotearoa!
    Welcome to 2022! As we look ahead to another year of progress on the big issues facing our country, we’re taking a look back at the year that’s been and everything the team of five million achieved together in 2021. ...
    3 weeks ago

  • New Zealand prepared to send support to Tonga
    New Zealand is ready to assist Tonga in its recovery from Saturday night’s undersea eruption and tsunami, Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta and Defence Minister Peeni Henare said today. “Following the successful surveillance and reconnaissance flight of a New Zealand P-3K2 Orion on Monday, imagery and details have been sent ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Aotearoa New Zealand stands ready to assist people of Tonga
    The thoughts of New Zealanders are with the people of Tonga following yesterday’s undersea volcanic eruption and subsequent tsunami waves, Foreign Affairs Minister Nanaia Mahuta says. “Damage assessments are under way and New Zealand has formally offered to provide assistance to Tonga,” said Nanaia Mahuta. New Zealand has made an ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Record high of new homes consented continues
    In the year ended November 2021, 48,522 new homes were consented, up 26 per cent from the November 2020 year. In November 2021, 4,688 new dwellings were consented. Auckland’s new homes consented numbers rose 25 per cent in the last year. Annual figures for the last nine months show more ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Report trumpets scope for ice cream exports
    Latest research into our premium ice cream industry suggests exporters could find new buyers in valuable overseas markets as consumers increasingly look for tip top quality in food. Economic Development Minister Stuart Nash has released a new report for the Food and Beverage Information Project. The project is run by ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Honouring the legacy of legendary kaumātua Muriwai Ihakara
    Associate Minister for Arts, Culture, and Heritage Kiri Allan expressed her great sadness and deepest condolences at the passing of esteemed kaumātua, Muriwai Ihakara. “Muriwai’s passing is not only a loss for the wider creative sector but for all of Aotearoa New Zealand. The country has lost a much beloved ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Have your say on proposed changes to make drinking water safer
    Associate Minister for the Environment Kiri Allan is urging all New Zealanders to give feedback on proposed changes aimed at making drinking water safer. “The current regulations are not fit for purpose and don’t offer enough protection, particularly for those whose water comes from smaller supplies,” Kiri Allan said. “This ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Planting the seeds for rewarding careers
    A boost in funding for a number of Jobs for Nature initiatives across Canterbury will provide sustainable employment opportunities for more than 70 people, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says. “The six projects are diverse, ranging from establishing coastline trapping in Kaikōura, to setting up a native plant nursery, restoration planting ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand congratulates Tonga's new Prime Minister on appointment
    Minister of Foreign Affairs Nanaia Mahuta today congratulated Hon Hu'akavameiliku Siaosi Sovaleni on being appointed Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Tonga. “Aotearoa New Zealand and Tonga have an enduring bond and the Kingdom is one of our closest neighbours in the Pacific. We look forward to working with Prime ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • High-tech investment extends drought forecasting for farmers and growers
    The Government is investing in the development of a new forecasting tool that makes full use of innovative climate modelling to help farmers and growers prepare for dry conditions, Agriculture Minister Damien O'Connor said.  The new approach, which will cost $200,000 and is being jointly funded through the Ministry for ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Support for fire-hit Waiharara community
    The government will contribute $20,000 towards a Mayoral Relief Fund to support those most affected by the fires in Waiharara in the Far North, Minister for Emergency Management Kiri Allan says. “I have spoken to Far North Mayor John Carter about the effect the fires continue to have, on residents ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Manawatū’s ‘oases of nature’ receive conservation boost
    The Government is throwing its support behind projects aimed at restoring a cluster of eco-islands and habitats in the Manawatū which were once home to kiwi and whio. “The projects, which stretch from the Ruahine Ranges to the Horowhenua coastline, will build on conservation efforts already underway and contribute ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand to continue Solomon Islands support
    A New Zealand Defence Force and Police deployment to help restore peace and stability to Solomon Islands is being scaled down and extended. The initial deployment followed a request for support from Solomon Islands Government after riots and looting in capital Honiara late last month. They joined personnel from Australia, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Our Pacific community shares in New Year’s Honours
    Prominent Pacific health champion Faumuina Professor Fa’afetai Sopoaga has been made a Companion of the New Zealand Order of Merit in the New Year’s Honours list. Professor Sopoaga has been a champion for Pacific Health at Otago University, said Minister of Pacific Peoples Aupito William Sio. “She’s overseen changes in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Congratulations to Māori New Year’s Honours stars of 2022
    Kei aku rangatira kua whakawhiwhia koutou ki ngā tohu ā tō tātou kuīni hei whakanui nui i ā koutou mahi rangatira i hāpai i te manotini puta noa i a Aotearoa. Ko koutou ngā tino tauira. I whanake i ngā hapori, iwi, hapū, whānau me te motu anō hoki. Mauri ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Top honours for women in sport
    Minister of Sport and Recreation Grant Robertson has congratulated Olympian Lisa Carrington and Paralympian Sophie Pascoe on being made Dames Companion of the New Zealand Order of Merit (DNZM) in the 2022 New Year Honours. Lisa Carrington is New Zealand’s most successful Olympian, having won five gold and one bronze ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • PM congratulates 2022 New Year Honours recipients
    The New Zealanders recognised in the New Year 2022 Honours List represent the determination and service exemplified by so many New Zealanders during what has been another tough year due to the global COVID-19 pandemic, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said. “I never fail to be amazed by the outstanding things ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago