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ImperatorFish: Blame Labour

Written By: - Date published: 12:30 pm, September 25th, 2012 - 11 comments
Categories: john key, labour, national - Tags:

Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.

The week has started badly for John Key. Yesterday we learned that National are down in the latest political poll, and today we hear that our intelligence folk may have been allegedly acting unlawfully. The last bit of news is a bit of a problem for John Key, since he’s the guy in charge of that particular area of government. It’s going to be difficult for him to say “oh I didn’t bother to read the report.”

Today Solid Energy also announced the loss of hundreds of jobs. Solid Energy is an SOE. So that’s our own government throwing people onto the scrapheap. Many of these people will head over to Australia, increasing the number of New Zealanders seeking their brighter futures elsewhere.

But now is not the time to panic. National has a plan to deal with the crisis. Tomorrow will probably see another welfare crackdown, although with the number of groups left to target rapidly diminishing, could it be the turn of one-legged Dutchmen to feel Paula’s wrath? Insomniac redheads maybe?

But if that plan doesn’t work, National has another up its sleeve: blame Labour.

Go on, sing along.

Blame Labour

My gal gone left me and my dog done died
Blame Labour.
My house burned down and I just got fired
Blame Labour.
My kids’ got no food and they’re hungry at school
I can’t pay the rent and the power bill’s due
Blame Labour.

There’s trouble in Afghanistan and problems in Iraq
Blame Labour.
My national cricket team totally suck
Blame Labour.
The neighbours with their parties are driving me mad
I can’t get no girls and my ass is getting fat
Blame Labour.

No matter who, no matter what, what no matter where-er
It’s all because of David  F**king Shearer
Blame Labour

My car’s engine performance is less that I might like
Blame Labour
My legs are sore after I went riding on my bike
Blame Labour.
The Gallipoli campaign did not go as planned
I didn’t realise Dame Edna was a man
Blame Labour.

No matter who, no matter what, what no matter where-er
It’s all because of David  F**king Shearer
Blame Labour.

The second Star Wars trilogy was a pile of shite
Blame Labour.
There’s just not enough marmite
Blame Labour.
My Google Maps don’t work no more
Athens lost the Peloponnesian War
Blame Labour.

No matter who, no matter what, what no matter where-er
It’s all because of David  F**king Shearer
Blame Labour.

11 comments on “ImperatorFish: Blame Labour”

  1. ianmac 1

    I suppose it is Labour’s fault really, because if Labour wasn’t there there would be no need to blame Labour. Or so it is on Key’s Planet.

  2. blue leopard 2

    Or how about?

    My mouth is always lyin’ and it wouldn’t be a bad thing but Opposition just won’t let up and that’s no lie
    We spent many nights devising all our failed distractions From our deceptions becoming so blatant we kissed our popularity goodbye.

    No matter!

    “Don’t blame it on our useless policies
    Don’t blame it on our endless lying
    Don’t blame it on our disingenuity
    Blame it on Labour

    Thanks MJ

  3. Populuxe1 3

    Today Solid Energy also announced the loss of hundreds of jobs. Solid Energy is an SOE. So that’s our own government throwing people onto the scrapheap. Many of these people will head over to Australia, increasing the number of New Zealanders seeking their brighter futures elsewhere.

    Given that coal is bad and mining is bad, shouldn’t we be scaling back anyway? I don’t recall similar concern for the fishery jobs that would be lost if the Maui’s Dolphin resolution had gone ahead.

    • Colonial Viper 3.1

      Were there really 300-400 fishing jobs to be lost there? I think you are greatly exaggerating.

      • Populuxe1 3.1.1

        At a guess, quite likely – you would lose fisheries along the west coast of the North Island and most of the South Island except for Fiordland, and then there are all the support jobs, processing and so forth, and the flow on impact to the coastal communities. 

        • mike e 3.1.1.1

          Pop the Maui’s dolphin is only found of the coast of Taranaki and the raglan coastal district maybe 20 or 30 jobs lost in total !
          Maybe 20 to 30 jobs found in eco tourism!

          • Populuxe1 3.1.1.1.1

            The whole range of Hector’s Dolphin has to be taken into account – we know so little about Maui’s Dolphins that we can’t be sure there aren’t populations elsewhere.
            In any case there is a ban on trawling and set nets from Maunganui Bluff to Hawera out to two nautical miles from shore, just not in the harbours. it’s not like nothing has been done.
             

    • Draco T Bastard 3.2

      We should, as a matter of fact, be scaling back. If we don’t use it in NZ then we shouldn’t be digging it up or fishing it. That, though, would require NZ to actually develop more businesses than just farms and no government going back to 1984 seems to have wanted to do that.

  4. Dr Terry 4

    ImperatorFish, “This week has started badly for John Key”. Tell me which week has NOT started badly for him since the election? I am tired of hearing it, and noting that his bad behaviour loses him precious little popularity! I hardly think Key is bothered a bit by Shearer. No, sorry, but I cannot sing along with Key/National. I would much prefer to see him confined to “Sing Sing”.

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