ImperatorFish: Dunne In Stoush Over Caucus Lunch Plan

Written By: - Date published: 1:26 pm, December 20th, 2011 - 12 comments
Categories: humour - Tags:

Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here

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Dunne In Stoush Over Caucus Lunch Plan

A fierce row has broken out between a Wellington restaurateur and United Future Party leader Peter Dunne, over a table booking for one of the city’s most in-demand eateries.

The trouble began when Mr Dunne attempted to book a table at Wellington’s Acropolis Cafe for his caucus’ annual Christmas lunch.

According to Mr Dunne the co-owner of the cafe, Dmitry Kalifanipolipopolis, was rude and insulting to him over the telephone.

“I rang the cafe on Friday hoping to secure a table for my team, because they have some tremendous authentic Greek and Turkish fare there, but I know how busy the place can be at lunchtime,” said Mr Dunne.

“I wasn’t expecting to be so insulted.

“The owner yelled back down the phone at me, calling me an idiot, and then he hung up.”

Mr Dunne said he had decided to come forward for the good of the hospitality industry.

“I’m thick-skinned, because you have to be able to take the knocks when you’re in politics. I only decided to go public with this because the kind of treatment I experienced really isn’t acceptable for the service industry, and it ruins it for those who are trying hard to present New Zealand as a friendly destination for visitors.”

Mr Dunne said he suspected Mr Kalifanipolipopolis might have been motivated by a political grudge.

“If Mr Kalifanipolipopolis has a problem with the United Future Party or any of my caucus members, then that’s fine. But he should come clean and be open about it.”

Greek-born Dmitry Kalifanipolipopolis admitted he was rude to Mr Dunne, but claimed he was provoked.

“This guy ring me, say he is Peter Dunne and then say he want to book a table at lunchtime for his caucus team.

“I say to him ‘Peter Dunne, whadda are you even talking about? You don’t have a no caucus team.’

“He then say I shoulda no be so rude and I say to him ‘listen, we not take a no bookings, you idiot!’

“Then I slam a down the phone on him. I thought he was maybe one of those, what do you call it, crank callers, and I get a little angry.”

The United Future leader has bristled at suggestions his party has no caucus.

“We are a caucus of one, and you should never underestimate the Power of One,” said Mr Dunne.

“Which is a cracking good book, by the way. I avidly devour anything written by Bryce Courtenay, who in my opinion is the Shakespeare of the Southern Hemisphere and deserves much more acclaim than he gets. He beats Wilbur Smith hands down, every single time.

“I am very proud of my team, and we are probably the most united caucus in the current parliament.”

But Mr Kalifanipolipopolis said he was not impressed with Mr Dunne.

“He a crazy man. How am I take table booking for a kebab shop in a foodhall?”

12 comments on “ImperatorFish: Dunne In Stoush Over Caucus Lunch Plan”

  1. fender 1

    “The owner yelled back down the phone at me, calling me an idiot, and then he hung up”

    Mr Kalifanipolipopolis is talking the truth, knows the facts and I applaud him.
    All he forgot to mention was Dunnes web-based media apoligist Pete George was also an idiot.

  2. Michael Circa 2

    Not as funny as when Carmel Sepuloni rang Burger King to ask if they were a BYO

  3. David H 3

    So in other words Dunne wants to have a fancy dinner for him and his hangers on and charge it to the Taxpayer.  What a leech.

    • fender 3.1

      He’s had decades of practice. But it’s dinner for the caucus only so Dunne will be clinking glasses by himself. Georgie boy from Dunners will open the door for him and wait outside though no doubt. Maybe Dunne and Banks will do lunch together, they will get along well being so alike. They can toast Key non-stop for securing their welfare cheques for the next three years.

  4. Georgecom 4

    I think the actual events may have been something along these lines:

    Dune calls the restaurant and says he wants to book a table for his political caucus.

    The restaurant owner asks Dunne for how many people

    Dunne replies for one person.

    The restaurant owner tells Dunne he thought Dunne had mentioned a caucus.

    Dunne replies that is correct.

    The restaurant owner asks Dunne for how many people

    Dunne replies for one person.

    The restaurant owner tells Dunne he thought Dunne had mentioned a caucus.

    Dunne replies that is correct.

    The restaurant owner asks Dunne for how many people

    Dunne replies for one person.

    The restaurant owner hangs up in frustration.

    Or is that the ACT christmas party I am thinking about?

  5. Jum 5

    Priceless!

  6. Akldnut 6

    Ha 1 is the loneliest number!

  7. felix 7

    Some of these comments suggest you might be a bit too good at this stuff, Scott.

  8. johnm 8

    Dmitry Kalifanipolipopolis is probably aware that his homeland Greece has been invaded by Bankers wielding weapons of mass debt to seize Greece’s assets enabled by spineless politicians in collusion with them and assisting by imposing austerity on ordinary hardworking people. Dunne fits the bill as one of these traitorous sellouts destroying Greek society, he’s sold out to ex banker Shonkey (He could have put a spanner in the works to stop asset sales but didn’t). So!? to a Greek man Dunne phoning up must be like a waving red cape at a Bull! Dunne is so spineless and globular he wouldn’t understand this in a million years.

    • Colonial Viper 8.1

      Bankers wielding weapons of mass debt to seize Greece’s assets enabled by spineless politicians in collusion with them

      As NZ also demonstrates…these days there is no difference whatsoever between the “bankers” and the “policitians”. Therefore its not even a matter of collusion between different parties, as they are the same kin.

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