web analytics

John Key too drunk to drive

Written By: - Date published: 1:15 pm, November 5th, 2011 - 49 comments
Categories: alcohol, election 2011, humour, john key, leadership, national, parody, Satire, tv - Tags: , ,

49 comments on “John Key too drunk to drive ”

  1. ianmac 1

    But that was only water that John Key was sipping so often during Wednesday’s Leaders Debate.

  2. This looks dirty and desperate. No policy today?

    • fender 2.1

      After wasting precious time reading your blogs on various sites I believe you smell dirty, and with a face like yours you should also be desperate.
      But thats just my opinion and I nevertheless wish you and U(no)F no luck at all.

    • seeker 2.2

      Not at all Pete- honesty is the best policy. “Dinamic !”

      • the sprout 2.2.1

        i’m not saying it seriously (see humour tag) – it’s just a funny bit of election season bullshit, like lightbulbs and showers, monkeys’ uncles… it’s not like i’m calling the little klepto prick a drunken sailor on national television!

    • jabba 2.3


  3. Nick C 3

    The Standard: The blog for left wing intellectuals since 2007

  4. Richard 4

    “…and here, children, we have a a fine example of early 21st century unfunny left-wing satire, preserved for future generations to roll their eyes at…

    • Mac1 4.1

      Richard, the double-edged sword with criticising satire is that often the object of the satire does not find the satire funny- maybe even does not notice the satire. Since they are the ones being given the social criticism, which is what satire is good at, as Corporal Jones used to say, “They don’t like it up them!”

      • Bazar 4.1.1

        Or the more simpler explanation being that this is just poorly done.

        It looks like crap, and its a graphical joke.
        It’s punchline isn’t funny.
        It doesn’t even follow the format of the drink and drive ads, so its satire is badly done.

    • bbfloyd 4.2

      richie..you mean future generations of reactionary tories rolling their eyes at yet another thing they don’t understand…. standard reaction from anyone without the wit and depth to understand anything much….perfect tories…

  5. Raymond A Francis 5

    Don’t think the Labour Party are going to run with this (we all know that “The Standard” has no links with the Labour Party or sure as hell hope not after this effort)

    Of cause the fact that a number of Labour MPs have been done for DIC probably would help with that decision

    [lprent: Banned 3 months. You know better. Direct your comments to the author rather than trying to link the site to a party. ]

  6. Ross Miller 6

    With ‘friends’ like you Labour certainly doesn’t need any enemies.

    I can’t believe you are serious with that post inspired perhaps by the Labour Parliamentary Staffers who stole the booze at the Press Gallery’s Xmas p**s up and who are clearly still imbibing.

    Do you really think this wins you votes?

    [lprent: Read the about. We aren’t a political party. Saying that we are will eventually cause me to reduce my effort in saying that we are not by booting you out of comments permanently. 3 week ban ]

  7. Draco T Bastard 7

    This post really brought the worms out of the woodwork.

    • seesh i’ll say!
      talk about sour and humourless 😆
      can’t handle a piss take

    • Tiger Mountain 7.2

      Your’re not wrong DTB, in the Far North there was once a Ross Miller secretary at one time for the local Nats. Office address: Kauri Arms. The Ross Miller posting here of course may be a different person.

  8. insider 8

    Or is the post an example of the scum rising to the surface?

    • lprent 8.1

      The scum question has been obvious to me ever since Michelle Boag enticed John Key into standing for National. Scum coming into public view…

      But the image the sprout dug out is just funny… I was looking at it on facebook earlier

      • Anne 8.1.1

        Talking of Michelle Boag: she had the gall to say on The Panel recently that John Key isn’t the prime minister for the money because he’s already got plenty of that. No, he wanted to do something for New Zealand.

        I was gobsmacked. Both Jim Mora and Brian Edwards let her get clean away with it.

        • newsense

          Now he’s got money and a t-shirt that says I was Prime Minister of NZ and Minister of being a Tourist

    • bbfloyd 8.2

      well… you’ve surfaced insider…

  9. Jim Nald 9

    My once-was-National-voting grandmother said cryptically:

    “The Druncan garner votes”

    • One Anonymous Bloke 9.1

      Please pass on my sincere thanks to your grandmother – or to put it another way ROFLMAO 😀

    • Vicky32 9.2

      My once-was-National-voting grandmother said cryptically:
      “The Druncan garner votes”

      :D! Brilliant! (I love the OP, it’s awesome.)

  10. Adders 10

    Drunkeyn Sailor wearing navy apron. Case closed.

  11. Viv 11

    tested on the target under 20s, they loved it! Maybe all the grumpy commenters here are the wrong demographic. Hope it goes viral.

    • alex 11.1

      I’m 21. I preferred Labour’s policy campaign. Just because we are young doesn’t mean we are stupid. Mostly.

      • Colonial Viper 11.1.1

        Multiple angles Alex, multiple angles.

        You are smart enough to understand that.

        • TighyRighty

          Patronising much? With every comment you make you reveal more and more the born to rule attitude and smug self-conceit that so typified the last labour government. After three years of the electorate telling people like yourself that you and your type are not wanted, it would be reasonable to expect that you might take a look at your approach and wonder why it isn’t working. Isn’t the definition of stupidity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result? Has attacking John Key on a personal level ever worked before? As New Zealand’s most liked prime minister ever, do you think it will start to work?

          You’ll read this comment and miss the point entirely, because you typify the exact current labour voting stereotype those of us on the right can point and laugh at.

          • Colonial Viper

            Meh how do you feel working on behalf of the bankster occupiers, selling out NZ to foreigners?

            Key is liked not as PM, but as a laugh, and as a smile and wave photo op.

            • TighyRighty

              I work hard to add value to new Zealand produce to export it to the rest of the world., banks help us by facilitating aspects of our trade so I’m very happy to work alongside them. Happy with your miserable existence of no consequence? Sorry, what is it you do for a living again?

              All the polls and surveys have over half the country liking John Key as PM, or are you a bit thick to realise what over 50% means? Wouldn’t surprise me seeing as you’ve bought into the whole labour meme/lie about assets sales.

          • bbfloyd

            having a bad hair day tr? or are you just getting nervous about the fact that the personal stuff is starting to sink in, and even your own people are starting to look sideways at old pink eyes? …… either way, classy petulance….

            • the sprout

              getting nervous about the fact that the personal stuff is starting to sink in


              • TighyRighty

                Getting nervous that no one cares about your policies and you have to resort to personal stuff, that people care even less for?

            • TighyRighty

              Nervous? No. Surprised that you have to resort to personal stuff? Even less so. My hair is in fine form, I notice as usual bbfloyd that you jump in as a distraction and try throw insults. The problem with you white knighting CV is that he’s too selfish and conceited to get you back with a reach around. Anyway, seeing as you’ve missed the point entirely, have proving my point about stupidity.

      • LynW 11.1.2

        I take heart alex!

  12. Pete Gumble 12

    Labour: what cnuts

    Satire, you see. Hilarious, eh.

  13. deemac 13

    gosh, these RWNJ’s have no problem demonstrating what humourless sourpusses they are!
    makes you wonder why they spend so much time here?

    • bbfloyd 13.1

      demac….too much competition on kiwiblog… their brand of narrow vitriol would be swamped there… at least here they get the attention they crave..

    • Bazar 13.2

      I’d say its more simply we are dumbfounded that anyone could actually find it funny.

      We point out how bad it is, and not because its attacking national, but because its honestly just bad

      And at least in my case, i get to watch how the swarm behaves when prodded with unconformable information. Surprisingly not much unity around it, i was expecting a lot more posters to state how wonderful it is, instead just a few posts saying its subjective, and Viper doing his normal Pro-anything Labour ranting.

      I’ll also add, while i post at kiwiblog as well from time to time, this site is easier. Its a threaded discussion, with a lot of easy to correct/rebuke posts.
      Kiwiblog, i won’t bother if the comment is more then 10 posts old, and i’m usually beaten multiple times to interesting posts i’d like to expand upon.

      • McFlock 13.2.1

        Did the picture have me in hysterics? Nope. A bit of a smile, though.
        Of course, as soon as we talk about humour, objective standards of “quality” are pointless.
        Ever get the feeling you might not be in the target demographic?

        • Craig Glen Eden

          Like watching Key on Letterman some found him funny most didn’t he look and sounded like a dumb arse,but their you have it Tories love to throw it but fail to catch just like Brash on the treaty grounds shit all over the place.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • NZ announces a third P-3 deployment in support of UN sanctions
    The Government has deployed a Royal New Zealand Air Force P-3K2 Orion (P-3) maritime patrol aircraft to support the implementation of United Nations Security Council (UNSC) resolutions imposing sanctions against North Korea, announced Minister of Foreign Affairs Winston Peters and Minister of Defence Ron Mark. “New Zealand has long supported ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Pacific trade and development agreement a reality
    Pacific regional trade and development agreement PACER Plus will enter into force in 60 days now that the required eight countries have ratified it. Trade and Export Growth Minister David Parker welcomed the announcement that the Cook Islands is the eighth nation to ratify this landmark agreement. “The agreement represents ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Securing a pipeline of teachers
    The Government is changing its approach to teacher recruitment as COVID-19 travel restrictions continue, by boosting a range of initiatives to get more Kiwis into teaching. “When we came into Government, we were faced with a teacher supply crisis,” Education Minister Chris Hipkins said. “Over the past three years, we ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Border exceptions for a small number of international students with visas
    The Government has established a new category that will allow 250 international PhD and postgraduate students to enter New Zealand and continue their studies, in the latest set of border exceptions. “The health, safety and wellbeing of people in New Zealand remains the Government’s top priority. Tight border restrictions remain ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • First COVID-19 vaccine purchase agreement signed
    The Government has signed an agreement to purchase 1.5 million COVID-19 vaccines – enough for 750,000 people – from Pfizer and BioNTech, subject to the vaccine successfully completing all clinical trials and passing regulatory approvals in New Zealand, say Research, Science and Innovation Minister Megan Woods and Health Minister Chris Hipkins. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • International statement – End-to-end encryption and public safety
    We, the undersigned, support strong encryption, which plays a crucial role in protecting personal data, privacy, intellectual property, trade secrets and cyber security.  It also serves a vital purpose in repressive states to protect journalists, human rights defenders and other vulnerable people, as stated in the 2017 resolution of the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Ministry of Defence Biodefence Assessment released
    The Ministry of Defence has today released a Defence Assessment examining Defence’s role across the spectrum of biological hazards and threats facing New Zealand. Biodefence: Preparing for a New Era of Biological Hazards and Threats looks at how the NZDF supports other agencies’ biodefence activities, and considers the context of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Approaches to Economic Challenges: Confronting Planetary Emergencies: OECD 9 October 2020
    New Approaches to Economic Challenges: Confronting Planetary Emergencies: OECD 9 October 2020 Hon David Parker’s response following Thomas Piketty and Esther Duflo. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, wherever in the world you might be. I first acknowledge the excellent thought provoking speeches of Thomas Piketty and Esther ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Kaipara Moana restoration takes next step
    A Memorandum of Understanding has been signed today at Waihāua Marae between the Crown, local iwi and councils to protect, restore and enhance the mauri of Kaipara Moana in Northland. Environment Minister David Parker signed the document on behalf of the Crown along with representatives from Ngā Maunga Whakahī, Ngāti ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand and Uruguay unite on reducing livestock production emissions
    Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor and Uruguayan Minister of Livestock, Agriculture and Fisheries Carlos María Uriarte have welcomed the launch of a three-year project that will underpin sustainable livestock production in Uruguay, Argentina, and Costa Rica.  The project called ‘Innovation for pasture management’ is led by Uruguay’s National Institute of Agricultural ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • 3100 jobs created through marae upgrades
    Hundreds of marae throughout the country will be upgraded through investments from the Provincial Growth Fund’s refocused post COVID-19 funding to create jobs and put money into the pockets of local tradespeople and businesses, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones and Māori Development Minister Nanaia Mahuta have announced. “A total ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Health volunteers recognised in annual awards
    Health Minister Chris Hipkins has announced 9 teams and 14 individuals are the recipients of this year’s Minister of Health Volunteer Awards.  “The health volunteer awards celebrate and recognise the thousands of dedicated health sector volunteers who give many hours of their time to help other New Zealanders,” Mr Hipkins ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Community COVID-19 Fund supports Pacific recovery
    The Minister for Pacific Peoples, Aupito William Sio says a total of 264 groups and individuals have successfully applied for the Pacific Aotearoa Community COVID-19 Recovery Fund, that will support Pacific communities drive their own COVID-19 recovery strategies, initiatives, and actions. “I am keen to see this Fund support Pacific ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Community benefits from Māori apprenticeships
    Up to 50 Māori apprentices in Wellington will receive paid training to build houses for their local communities, thanks to a $2.75 million investment from the Māori Trades and Training Fund, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “This funding will enable Ngāti Toa Rangatira Incorporated to provide its Ngā Kaimahi ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Training fund supports Māori jobseekers
    Rapidly growing sectors will benefit from a $990,000 Māori Trades and Training Fund investment which will see Wellington jobseekers supported into work, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “This funding will enable Sapphire Consultants Ltd. to help up to 45 Māori jobseekers into paid training initiatives over two years through ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Ruakura Inland Port development vital infrastructure for Waikato
    The Government is investing $40 million to develop an inland port at Ruakura which will become a freight super-hub and a future business, research and residential development for the Waikato, Urban Development and Transport Minister Phil Twyford, and Māori Development Minister Nanaia Mahuta announced today. The funding has been has ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Appointments made to Defence Expert Review Group
    Defence Minister Ron Mark announced today the establishment of an Expert Review Group to review a number of aspects of the New Zealand Defence Force’s (NZDF) structure, information management and record-keeping processes.  The Expert Review Group’s work arises out of the first recommendation from the Report of the Government’s Inquiry ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • No active community cases of COVID-19
    There are no active community cases of COVID-19 remaining in the country after the last people from the recent outbreak have recovered from the virus, Health Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “This is a big milestone. New Zealanders have once again through their collective actions squashed the virus. The systems ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Clean energy upgrade for more public buildings
    More public buildings will be supported by the Government to upgrade to run on clean energy, the Minister for Climate Change James Shaw announced today. Minister Shaw announced that Lincoln and Auckland universities will receive support through the Clean-Powered Public Service Fund to replace fossil fuel boilers. Southern, Taranaki, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Schools back donations scheme for the second year
    More schools have opted in to the donations scheme for 2021, compared to 2020 when the scheme was introduced. “The families of more than 447,000 students will be better off next year, with 94% of eligible schools and kura opting into the scheme,” Education Minister Chris Hipkins said. “This is ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Ruapehu cycle trails gets PGF boost
    The spectacular Mountains to Sea cycle trail in Ruapehu District will receive $4.6 million in funding from the Provincial Growth Fund for two additional trails, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones announced today. “This is an exciting development for the local community, and one that will provide significant economic opportunities ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Update to air border order strengthens crew requirements
    Additional measures coming into effect on Monday will boost our defence against COVID-19 entering New Zealand through the air border, Health Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “As part of our precautionary approach and strategy of constant review, we’re tightening the requirements around international aircrew,” Chris Hipkins said. The COVID-19 Public ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • A true picture of Māori business activity
    A better picture of the contribution Māori businesses make to the economy will be possible with changes to the way information is collected about companies and trading enterprises. Māori Development Minister Nanaia Mahuta and Small Business Minister Stuart Nash have announced a new option for Māori enterprises who are part ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • PGF funding for Taranaki projects
    The South Taranaki museum, a New Plymouth distillery and a Pasifika building firm will benefit from a Government investment totalling more than $1 million, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones says. The $1.05m in grants and loans from the Provincial Growth Fund (PGF) will help the recipients expand and create ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Fijian Language Week 2020 inspires courage and strength during COVID-19 pandemic
    The Minister for Pacific Peoples, Aupito William Sio says the theme for the 2020 Fijian Language Week reflects the strong belief by Fijians that their language and culture inspires courage and strength that is strongly needed in times of emergencies, or through a significant challenge like the global COVID-19 pandemic ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • Trades training builds on iwi aspirations
    An investment of $2.025 million from the Māori Trades and Training Fund will support Māori to learn new skills while making a positive difference for their communities, announced Employment Minister Willie Jackson today. “K3 Development Limited Partnership will receive $2,025,000 for its Takitimu Tuanui apprenticeship programme, which will support the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago