John Key too drunk to drive

Written By: - Date published: 1:15 pm, November 5th, 2011 - 49 comments
Categories: alcohol, election 2011, humour, john key, leadership, national, parody, Satire, tv - Tags: , ,

49 comments on “John Key too drunk to drive”

  1. ianmac 1

    But that was only water that John Key was sipping so often during Wednesday’s Leaders Debate.

  2. This looks dirty and desperate. No policy today?

    • fender 2.1

      After wasting precious time reading your blogs on various sites I believe you smell dirty, and with a face like yours you should also be desperate.
      But thats just my opinion and I nevertheless wish you and U(no)F no luck at all.

    • seeker 2.2

      Not at all Pete- honesty is the best policy. “Dinamic !”

      • the sprout 2.2.1

        i’m not saying it seriously (see humour tag) – it’s just a funny bit of election season bullshit, like lightbulbs and showers, monkeys’ uncles… it’s not like i’m calling the little klepto prick a drunken sailor on national television!

    • jabba 2.3


  3. Nick C 3

    The Standard: The blog for left wing intellectuals since 2007

  4. Richard 4

    “…and here, children, we have a a fine example of early 21st century unfunny left-wing satire, preserved for future generations to roll their eyes at…

    • Mac1 4.1

      Richard, the double-edged sword with criticising satire is that often the object of the satire does not find the satire funny- maybe even does not notice the satire. Since they are the ones being given the social criticism, which is what satire is good at, as Corporal Jones used to say, “They don’t like it up them!”

      • Bazar 4.1.1

        Or the more simpler explanation being that this is just poorly done.

        It looks like crap, and its a graphical joke.
        It’s punchline isn’t funny.
        It doesn’t even follow the format of the drink and drive ads, so its satire is badly done.

    • bbfloyd 4.2 mean future generations of reactionary tories rolling their eyes at yet another thing they don’t understand…. standard reaction from anyone without the wit and depth to understand anything much….perfect tories…

  5. Raymond A Francis 5

    Don’t think the Labour Party are going to run with this (we all know that “The Standard” has no links with the Labour Party or sure as hell hope not after this effort)

    Of cause the fact that a number of Labour MPs have been done for DIC probably would help with that decision

    [lprent: Banned 3 months. You know better. Direct your comments to the author rather than trying to link the site to a party. ]

  6. Ross Miller 6

    With ‘friends’ like you Labour certainly doesn’t need any enemies.

    I can’t believe you are serious with that post inspired perhaps by the Labour Parliamentary Staffers who stole the booze at the Press Gallery’s Xmas p**s up and who are clearly still imbibing.

    Do you really think this wins you votes?

    [lprent: Read the about. We aren’t a political party. Saying that we are will eventually cause me to reduce my effort in saying that we are not by booting you out of comments permanently. 3 week ban ]

  7. Draco T Bastard 7

    This post really brought the worms out of the woodwork.

    • seesh i’ll say!
      talk about sour and humourless 😆
      can’t handle a piss take

    • Tiger Mountain 7.2

      Your’re not wrong DTB, in the Far North there was once a Ross Miller secretary at one time for the local Nats. Office address: Kauri Arms. The Ross Miller posting here of course may be a different person.

  8. insider 8

    Or is the post an example of the scum rising to the surface?

    • lprent 8.1

      The scum question has been obvious to me ever since Michelle Boag enticed John Key into standing for National. Scum coming into public view…

      But the image the sprout dug out is just funny… I was looking at it on facebook earlier

      • Anne 8.1.1

        Talking of Michelle Boag: she had the gall to say on The Panel recently that John Key isn’t the prime minister for the money because he’s already got plenty of that. No, he wanted to do something for New Zealand.

        I was gobsmacked. Both Jim Mora and Brian Edwards let her get clean away with it.

        • newsense

          Now he’s got money and a t-shirt that says I was Prime Minister of NZ and Minister of being a Tourist

    • bbfloyd 8.2

      well… you’ve surfaced insider…

  9. Jim Nald 9

    My once-was-National-voting grandmother said cryptically:

    “The Druncan garner votes”

    • One Anonymous Bloke 9.1

      Please pass on my sincere thanks to your grandmother – or to put it another way ROFLMAO 😀

    • Vicky32 9.2

      My once-was-National-voting grandmother said cryptically:
      “The Druncan garner votes”

      :D! Brilliant! (I love the OP, it’s awesome.)

  10. Adders 10

    Drunkeyn Sailor wearing navy apron. Case closed.

  11. Viv 11

    tested on the target under 20s, they loved it! Maybe all the grumpy commenters here are the wrong demographic. Hope it goes viral.

    • alex 11.1

      I’m 21. I preferred Labour’s policy campaign. Just because we are young doesn’t mean we are stupid. Mostly.

      • Colonial Viper 11.1.1

        Multiple angles Alex, multiple angles.

        You are smart enough to understand that.

        • TighyRighty

          Patronising much? With every comment you make you reveal more and more the born to rule attitude and smug self-conceit that so typified the last labour government. After three years of the electorate telling people like yourself that you and your type are not wanted, it would be reasonable to expect that you might take a look at your approach and wonder why it isn’t working. Isn’t the definition of stupidity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result? Has attacking John Key on a personal level ever worked before? As New Zealand’s most liked prime minister ever, do you think it will start to work?

          You’ll read this comment and miss the point entirely, because you typify the exact current labour voting stereotype those of us on the right can point and laugh at.

          • Colonial Viper

            Meh how do you feel working on behalf of the bankster occupiers, selling out NZ to foreigners?

            Key is liked not as PM, but as a laugh, and as a smile and wave photo op.

            • TighyRighty

              I work hard to add value to new Zealand produce to export it to the rest of the world., banks help us by facilitating aspects of our trade so I’m very happy to work alongside them. Happy with your miserable existence of no consequence? Sorry, what is it you do for a living again?

              All the polls and surveys have over half the country liking John Key as PM, or are you a bit thick to realise what over 50% means? Wouldn’t surprise me seeing as you’ve bought into the whole labour meme/lie about assets sales.

          • bbfloyd

            having a bad hair day tr? or are you just getting nervous about the fact that the personal stuff is starting to sink in, and even your own people are starting to look sideways at old pink eyes? …… either way, classy petulance….

            • the sprout

              getting nervous about the fact that the personal stuff is starting to sink in


              • TighyRighty

                Getting nervous that no one cares about your policies and you have to resort to personal stuff, that people care even less for?

            • TighyRighty

              Nervous? No. Surprised that you have to resort to personal stuff? Even less so. My hair is in fine form, I notice as usual bbfloyd that you jump in as a distraction and try throw insults. The problem with you white knighting CV is that he’s too selfish and conceited to get you back with a reach around. Anyway, seeing as you’ve missed the point entirely, have proving my point about stupidity.

      • LynW 11.1.2

        I take heart alex!

  12. Pete Gumble 12

    Labour: what cnuts

    Satire, you see. Hilarious, eh.

  13. deemac 13

    gosh, these RWNJ’s have no problem demonstrating what humourless sourpusses they are!
    makes you wonder why they spend so much time here?

    • bbfloyd 13.1

      demac….too much competition on kiwiblog… their brand of narrow vitriol would be swamped there… at least here they get the attention they crave..

    • Bazar 13.2

      I’d say its more simply we are dumbfounded that anyone could actually find it funny.

      We point out how bad it is, and not because its attacking national, but because its honestly just bad

      And at least in my case, i get to watch how the swarm behaves when prodded with unconformable information. Surprisingly not much unity around it, i was expecting a lot more posters to state how wonderful it is, instead just a few posts saying its subjective, and Viper doing his normal Pro-anything Labour ranting.

      I’ll also add, while i post at kiwiblog as well from time to time, this site is easier. Its a threaded discussion, with a lot of easy to correct/rebuke posts.
      Kiwiblog, i won’t bother if the comment is more then 10 posts old, and i’m usually beaten multiple times to interesting posts i’d like to expand upon.

      • McFlock 13.2.1

        Did the picture have me in hysterics? Nope. A bit of a smile, though.
        Of course, as soon as we talk about humour, objective standards of “quality” are pointless.
        Ever get the feeling you might not be in the target demographic?

        • Craig Glen Eden

          Like watching Key on Letterman some found him funny most didn’t he look and sounded like a dumb arse,but their you have it Tories love to throw it but fail to catch just like Brash on the treaty grounds shit all over the place.

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