John Key’s $800,000 funnies

Written By: - Date published: 9:08 pm, May 6th, 2011 - 44 comments
Categories: brand key - Tags:

John makes fun of the help (that we pay for):

44 comments on “John Key’s $800,000 funnies”

  1. infused 1

    Glad you find it funny too.

  2. Carol 2

    He’s in the wrong job. When’s he actually gonna start doing Prime Minister stuff, like running the country properly and for the benefit of the whole population?

    • infused 2.1

      You do realise this was close to Christmas eh?

      Take your blind fold off Carol.

      • IrishBill 2.1.1

        That burning feeling you’ve got there infused? That’s shame.

      • Carol 2.1.2

        It doesn’t matter when it was. Key is a hopeless Prime Minister at any time of year – there for anyone to see with eyes wide open and undistracted with the irritating, arrogant clown act.

        • infused

          Yawn. You mean he isn’t your stuck up, cold hearted Helen Clarke? Yeah, no.

          • Jum

            Infused – cough, yawn, whatever – Helen Clark is a real person. JKeyll is a construct.

          • Carol

            Ah, and there you have it. There is something very masculinist about the way Key is promoted. A woman with a powerful political position has to walk a very narrow line. I believe that in person Clark could be very relaxed, warm & funny. But a woman PM always has to struggle with not being taken seriously, and she needed to present a sense of gravitas.

            Can you imagine what a female equivalent to Key would be? However, funny and down-to-earth she appeared, she’d still be demonised as some westie
            “slapper” and unfit for political office. Whereas a guy behaving like a drunk party bore is supposed to be “like one of us”? It’s just not that attractive to many women, and not a way of behaving large numbers of women can identify with…. certainly not any women (and men) I know.

            But, ulitmately, the country is in difficult times. There’s plenty lining up to be entertainers, but the country needs a capable PM. And at the moment, we don’t have one.

            • travellerev

              Oh Carol,
              You’ve got that wrong. He’s doing exactly what he’s been elected to do. It’s just that we didn’t elect him. Not for the right reasons anyway.
              His policies? What the international “Globalist” bosses want him to do. Privatize, cut back on services, education and opportunities for the young except military service ($ 25 million for all those poor opportunity kids to try out limited volunteer services.) They’re going to need cannon fodder after all when in the next period Key is going to explain to us that we need to stand by our allies in their wars of “liberation” in Libya, Syria, Yemen and Iran.
              No Carol, to them he’s a very useful idiot. Him and Don Brash, the finance boys from NZ.

  3. ianmac 3

    You can see why he appeals to the students and boys at the pub, but really? This guy is a leader, seriously?

    • Carol 3.1

      boys at the pub…?

      If I walked into a pub and saw a guy behaving like that, I’d walk back out the door and find another pub. Maybe it’s some kind of guy thing, because I don’t see anything entertaining or funny about someone doing a look at me, aren’t I funny? kind of smug, unsubtle and loud performance .

  4. ianmac 4

    It did occur to me today that Collins Key having to explain is really really good. Having to explain means that you are on the defensive. So good week chaps!

  5. He gave up the cerebral challenge of 95BFM for this?

  6. Tanz 6

    Full of it, and himself. Cringe factor! He does need to start taking the job seriously, he is like a kid on a sugar high. The thing is though, that he just loves being popular, and the populace generally return the favour. Ick. When will people tire of this stuff while the economy burns?

  7. Irascible 7

    No one expects Key to have a brain cell to engage with his mouth. He is, after all, a creation like Chauncey Gardener in “Being There” who is hailed as a guru because his banality can be construed, by those whose interests he serves, as meaningful in their vacuousness.

    • Tanz 7.1

      How come he gets away with it all? I don’t understand why New Zealanders arn’t in general, more annoyed with him and very tired of him. The country is in dire trouble, yet Key continues to grin at the camera, lots of cameras, everywhere. I voted for him in 2008 because I believed he wanted to make a difference, etc. I’ll not be fooled again.

      Is this why he wanted the job? Endless scrapbook shots? Makes me too, wish for past years.

  8. Huginn 8

    This also goes some way to explain the MediaWorks bailout.

    • Luxated 8.1

      Because if they were running that kind of dross as a special then their regular programming must be awful? 😛

  9. chris73 9

    Gee the amount of bile because hes joking around on a radio broadcast…it must really stick in your craws that you all know (deep down you know you do) hes getting at least another three years

  10. ghostwhowalksnz 10

    Life imitates art, in this instance Borat /Bruno is the ‘art’

  11. Peter Bains 11

    What is the next revalation that the Goffice will leak to TV1 to follow up in their exclusive on 6 News. Another non issue?
    Clark was a cold cruel bint, who could not be ‘warm’ in company that did not suit her.
    Must be great having a mole in the Goffice.
    Can’t wait for the revalation about a mid ranked Labour MP to come out, should be fun.

    IrishBill: you look like a troll to me. Keep it up and you’ll be dealt with as one.

    • Carol 11.1

      People are judged by their actions and policies. Key is so caring that he thinks poverty and starvation is a lifestyle choice. I see you have learned your CT line well … is this all Labour can do in opposition?….. Labour has plenty of polcies aimed at improving life for a large proportion of Kiwis.

      Maeanwhile Key & co are all working to screw the majority of us.

      Can’t wait for the revalation about a mid ranked Labour MP to come out, should be fun.

      Is this all NAct can come up with in response? How about a quality economic plan?…. pot…..kettle….

    • Carol 11.2

      People shouldn’t mistake Key’s friendly, chatty jokey routine (which rarely reaches his eyes) for a sign that he cares much about the people he’s being friendly with or the majority of people in the country he represents. It’s just a veneer over his brutal streak. He can do the friendly chat with someone, then later stick in the knife (front or back – whatever suits his purpose)… just ask Jon Stephenson.

      • rosy 11.2.1

        This reminded me that he’s called the smiling assassin. And having remembered that, of course he was in on the Brash takeover of act – he’s got form!

  12. fabregas4 12

    “the muppets out the back!” Lovely way to talk about the staff. But “it has been fun!”

  13. Tel 13

    Huapai is always crawling with Police/DPS in the hours before Key turns up to his electoral office, much to the annoyance of locals. What cracks me up is the DPS are so numerous that it telegraphs to any nutjob that might want to take a potshot at Key, on his imminent arrival, and this is called security? They may as well wear high-vis clown suits.

    The Nat’s realise the day a bullet whizzs past Key, will be close to the day he resigns, so bugger the cost, they’ll keep blowing the DPS budget until the day he’s outlived his usefulness.

  14. ak 14

    “In case people like you throw themselves at me”

    Gut-wrenching. Artless, empathy-free right-wing prostitution of the last shreds of dignity in return for media support. Quite ghastly on every level.

    • Huginn 14.1

      Ghastly – but it’s kind of compelling watching two professionals working Key like a bunny. He is so needy.

  15. Terry 15


    Is Key keeping polished the suit of armour he wore when visiting Afghanistan? No other leader has needed this, or a large guard in addition. He ought to wear the armour all the time and crack his funnies about that!

  16. interesting 16

    Anyone from the left care to explain the nearly $600k DPS Budget blowout of 2007/8

    • IrishBill 16.1

      So are you saying that because it happened under labour too it’s okay? Because if that’s not what you’re saying then I can’t figure out what your point is.

      • interesting 16.1.1

        The point Irishbill is the Hypocrisy of Labour carping on about the budget blowout when they themselves bleew it out…without explaining what it was about.

        • Eddie

          wait a minute, I thought the government had no control over the DPS’s budget. that nice man mr key and that botox-face collins told me so. now you;re saying they do have choice but it’s ok because labour, you allege, did it too.

          • interesting

            I “allege” nothing eddie. the PROOF is parliaments link if you care to look.

            • Eddie

              so the documents are proof that a government can control the DPS, you say?


              Well then, the current government is therefore to blame for its budget blow-out, eh?

              What’s National’s excuse for blowing out the DPS budget?

              We could ask the same of Clark.

              And, let’s make a pact: if either Key or Clark can’t give an adequate explanation for why the DPS budget blew out under them, then we won’t vote for them at this election.

        • IrishBill

          I still don’t understand. What’s labour got to do with me being pissed off with John Key making jokes on my tax dollar?

          • interesting

            my point irish is that all this winging about evil nats blowing the bugetis a big load of rubbish when Labour are caught out doing the same thing. HYPOCIRITCAL!

            • IrishBill

              I don’t see why you think I can’t have a crack at the nats because of something labour have done. Could you explain please?

              Also, you misspelled “hypocritical”.

    • Eddie 16.2

      nearly $500K, you mean.

      Well, it can’t be because of the government according to Mr Key, eh interesting?

      Or do you contend that Labour could control the DPS and Key can’t?

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