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“John Key’s smile only goes so far”

Written By: - Date published: 1:00 pm, October 9th, 2010 - 24 comments
Categories: dpf, john key - Tags:

National Party pollster David Farrar has obviously seen some pretty bad numbers on the Mana by-election, he’s already in excuse-making mode. Apparently, Hekia Parata is a top candidate but it’s the voters’ fault – they’ll be all confused about having just voted in the local elections and won’t vote in the by-election. It’s Farrar’s comment about Key, though, that is most revealing.

“John Key’s smile only goes so far.” says Farrar.

Here’s an insider confirming (no doubt on the basis of polling/focus groups) what we already know. National’s one asset is John Key, without him they’re toast. And his one asset is his sunny nature. Not his skill as a leader. Not the policies he deliver. But his smile. The top thing that springs to Farrar’s mind when he when wants to describe why Key matters is his grin.

They say that the first thing Jenny Shipley used to do every morning when PM was count the numbers. Key will be counting his teeth.

Such it is, to be led by a clown.

And Farrar is right, John Key’s smile does only go so far.

Key’s smile has failed to deliver better healthcare and education.

Key’s grin has let us down when it comes to higher wages.

No matter how much Key hams it up with spiders, that darn unemployment rate remains at unnecessary and destructive heights.

Despite high-fiving all the schoolkids he could find and giving them the high-beam smirk, the crime rate is still up on when Key came to office.

To economists’ bewilderment, Key’s practice of smiling, nodding, and agreeing with whatever anyone says to him has failed to prevent the economy sliding back into recession.

And, of course, it was the smile that came out when Paul Henry invited Key to indulge in some racism with him. If Key had given Henry a good lesson in what it means to be a New Zealander in the 21st century, rather than grinning like a fool, there would have been praise in the Indian media, rather than a diplomatic incident.

A bright smile, perhaps, but it can only go so far and it hasn’t delivered us the brighter future we were promised.

PS. I see the other day Farrar was crying that the Daily Show and Colbert Report are being canned from Comedy Central NZ. He said this was the one legal way to watch the shows in New Zealand and no wonder people use pirated copies on Bit Torrent. Well, dry thine eyes, noble penguin. There’s this thing called the ‘Internet’ and on it there are things called ‘websites’. The Daily Show has one of these ‘websites’ and on it you can watch any segment from any Daily Show episode that you like, when you like, without ads. It’s not quiet like having to drop everything to be in front of the TV at a time determined by others to watch 20 minutes of programming and 10 minutes of ads. But it’s the next best thing.

24 comments on ““John Key’s smile only goes so far” ”

  1. Cnr Joe 1

    true Marty, he doesn’t go to the Daily Show site? And DimPost has him buying bandwidth by the terabyte?
    Congratulations Mr Brown, haere ra Banksie

  2. Draco T Bastard 2

    John Key’s smile only goes so far

    It doesn’t reach his eyes?

    • Interesting you should say that Draco. Because my wife always say if you put your hand on the bottom part of a smilling John photos its an entitrely different photo.Do it some time just look at those cold eyes

  3. ianmac 3

    I have been noticing that forever. They say that it is impossible to really smile artificially. Some people learn to smile as a sort of reflex face contortion. But as you say watch the eyes because the eyes have it!

  4. Irascible 4

    Don’t forget that Key also has the reputation for scuttling and running off on holidays whenever the going gets tough. He also suffers from memory loss especially when it comes to issues of race – 1981 and now in conversation with Henry on the Gov. Gen.

  5. Key is a creep, no doubt about that. But if he wasn’t ‘borrowing’ 240 big ones each week we would all be a lot sadder.
    We should all be thankful he is postponing the inevitable, keeping this scam going is maintaining our Disneyland lifestyles.
    If it wasn’t Key it would be someone else, he is just the jerk at the top of the heap of jerks, every party supports Kiwi Saver, KS is based on Key and co borrowing enough $$$ to keep the self destructive system from imploding.
    We get the idiots we deserve as leaders, apathy runs deep in society, the politicians know this and the people are happy with this arrangement.
    Lockwood Smith should wear a top hat.

    • freedom 5.1

      yeah Robert, we keep borrowing $240million a week, also don’t forget ACC is broke, there is no money for Education, the cycleway will create jobs and icecream helps you lose weight

      and i take it by ‘our Disneyland lifestyles’ you mean standing in one place for vast amounts of time as huge quantities of undigestable garbage is fed to you before a three second thrill by an automated mechanical illusion

    • ghostwhowalksnz 5.2

      This $240 mill a week has been trotted out week in week out.
      I very much doubt it except for a small period in 2009.
      But of course the SCF will take about that for 1 month straight

      And the tax cuts require some borrowing to meet the gap from the GST revenue.

  6. Murray 6

    Wow, with bigotry like this you could all be paul henry clones

  7. Colonial Viper 7

    So, John Key is a smart, but souless and unprincipled pollie. Here to serve naught more than himself and the other top 5% of NZ wealth/income holders.

    Given that, why are the other 50% of NZ’ers giving him the approval tick. Given that they can’t all be in the bottom quartile of perceptiveness and good judgement.


    • bbfloyd 7.1

      you simply can’t misunderestimate the stoopidity of a new zealander it seems..

    • Craig Glen Eden 7.2

      “Given that, why are the other 50%of NZ’ers giving him the approval tick.”

      Would these be the same poll methods that said Brown and Banks were neck and neck?

      Yeah ok , keep treading Colonial Viper but that stuff your swallowing is water.

  8. salsy 8

    If Key had given Henry a good lesson in what it means to be a New Zealander in the 21st century, rather than grinning like a fool, there would have been praise in the Indian media, rather than a diplomatic incident.

    And this incident just seems to be getting worse

  9. tea 9

    This has to mean that the Daily Show full epidsode player will become un geoblocked? please please say yes!

    who will do the asking? Orcon??

  10. Rodel 10

    Shame on you quoting David Farrar- Who listens or gives a shit what that fool says or (dare I say it) thinks?

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