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Key the Diplomat

Written By: - Date published: 9:14 am, November 3rd, 2012 - 171 comments
Categories: john key, tourism - Tags:

Look at this: Britain’s largest selling daily newspaper The Sun (daily readership 7.6 million), has this story about Britain’s favourite sportsperson as their lead:

Becks is as thick as bats*** says New Zealand’s PM

So our PM and Minister of Tourism is presumably trying to put as many British people off us as possible?

I like the Herald’s version:

Later Mr Key played a round of golf with former All Black captain Sir Brian Lochore, former All Black player and coach Laurie Mains and former Otago rugby player Brett McCormack.

(busy day, slagging off other countries’ favourite people and playing a round of golf)

Also like that The Sun has:

The office of David Key refused to comment also

Key’s not important enough to even get his name right…

171 comments on “Key the Diplomat”

  1. Tom Gould 1

    According to right wing ideology, Key used his talents and wits to accumulate $50m which makes him prefect to lead the country. So having used his talents and wits to accumulate $300m, Becks should be President, right?

    • Treetop 1.1

      Yes how do you measure success?

      Not sure if Beckham has a knighthood but I reckon he would get one before Key and that Beckham’s one would be deserved and Key’s one would be done as a favour for a past favour.

    • Chalupa Batman 1.2

      I guess Key had to go to Uni and then work his way up the corporation ladder to achieve what he has whereas Beckham was lucky enough to be born with superior hand-eye co-ordination and (probably) an abundance of fast-twitch muscle fibers without which he would unlikely be where he is (not saying he hasn’t had to work and damn hard) but Beckham would not be the first person you’d think of wanting in your pub quiz team

      • Treetop 1.2.1

        Regarding the pub quiz team, I would not want Key in my team to answer political questions as he does not remember much of anything. I would want Beckham in my pub quiz team to answer sporting questions.

        • Chalupa Batman 1.2.1.1

          Fashion questions maybe…he doesn’t strike me as a student of the game

        • felix 1.2.1.2

          Yep, Key would struggle in a pub quiz.

          He wouldn’t be allowed to change his answers later and he wouldn’t have the referee providing him with the answers to the tricky questions either.

          • Chalupa Batman 1.2.1.2.1

            Burn…

          • Treetop 1.2.1.2.2

            Lol. May be Key would find a way to cheat. We are all good at something.

            • Logie97 1.2.1.2.2.1

              Seems the Key supporters here have missed the point completely and want to discuss David Beckham. It does not matter one iota who the personality that Key maligned.

              Key’s lack of judgement and class is there now for all the world to see.
              Such utterances are far from Prime Ministerial. He is simply displaying his playground level of competence on social issues. The man is a buffoon.
              And it goes with the many instances of when he is economical with the truth – those instances are now well documented.

              When is someone from within the National Party going to redress this – oh for a Shire Tory to gain the rains back from the Nouveau Riche who have captured the party?

              • seeker

                “Key’s lack of judgement and class is there now for all the world to see.
                Such utterances are far from Prime Ministerial.”

                My thoughts exactly. And fancy him uttering such comments to school boys – glad my son wasn’t there. He has been brought up to expect better behaviour from proper leaders and I wouldn’t want him confused by a ‘trash talking’ idiot like Con Key, who is an irritating, low standard, menace posing as a leader, unfortunately for
                New Zealand.

                The other thing I thought today on reading this story was pot and kettle, or, it takes one to know one- and Key’s inappropriate utterances to school kids sure bears this out and definitely gives Key the ‘Batty Man’ trophy (troatie) for excreting his own special brand of guano.

              • Key’s lack of judgement and class is there now for all the world to see.
                Such utterances are far from Prime Ministerial. He is simply displaying his playground level of competence on social issues. The man is a buffoon.
                And it goes with the many instances of when he is economical with the truth – those instances are now well documented.

                +1

                It must be deformation, not so much for what he said but because of who said it?
                A PM can’t slag someone off, who lets face it is innocent of any bad intent to Key or his son?

      • fatty 1.2.2

        Bullshit… His genetics have little to do with it, he is not a fast player with quick feet, he has always been slow, he wouldn’t have an abundance of fast-twitch muscle fibres, and I doubt his hand-eye coordination is any better than many thousands of players in the UK. He is a dead ball specialist, that takes practice, not an inborn talent. Most professional players have better genetic material than him

        • Te Reo Putake 1.2.2.1

          Au contraire, fatty. Becks has always been quick, which is why he played on the wing for Man U all those years. His dead ball expertise came much later and was mainly a feature for his latter day England appearences and occasionally for the Galaxy.

          What he is known for actually are his crosses from the wing, which feature an exaggerated curve away from goal and back toward his teams’ strikers. That’s where ‘bend it like Beckham’ comes from, not free kicks. And his delivery from out wide was why Fergusson wouldn’t let him play a central midfield role and was part of the reason for his departure from MUFC

          He was also a child prodigy, attending many age group coaching clinics, including at United and Barcelona, before being signed at Spurs as a teenager. That suggests he had both the genetic makeup and the capacity to train hard and learn well.

          • fatty 1.2.2.1.1

            “Au contraire, fatty. Becks has always been quick, which is why he played on the wing for Man U all those years. His dead ball expertise came much later and was mainly a feature for his latter day England appearences and occasionally for the Galaxy.”

            I’ve thought Beckham has always been regarded as a slow winger, you’re the first person I’ve come across that claims he’s quick. There are slow wingers. Mata for Chelsea and Ramsey for Arsenal are probably the two slowest players in their squads at the mo, but they have both been playing on the wing – for teams which move the ball fast. You are right that he has always been on the wing for his crosses, but Fergusson got rid of him because he married a Spice Girl and was primarily a celebrity.
            Being able to cross the ball takes a lot of training, especially for someone like Beckham who doesn’t have the natural speed of many other wingers. He didn’t take free kicks at united because of other players such as Cantona. Beckham was taking free-kicks for England by 1998

            “He was also a child prodigy, attending many age group coaching clinics, including at United and Barcelona, before being signed at Spurs as a teenager. That suggests he had both the genetic makeup and the capacity to train hard and learn well.”

            Nah, he’s only looked back as a prodigy…most players get signed up at that age for clubs. He was part of a young group that created history for United, others were talked up just as much at the time including average players such as Nicky Butt and Paul Nevile. Beckham had no more genetic material to work with than those players. Roonpig and Walcott had more hype around them at age 16.
            Beckham’s most valuable genetic traits are his good looks…his lack of fast-twitch fibers was a barrier he overcame. He was also lucky he comes from England where they hoof it forward and chase…he’s never had the skill, technique or speed of the greats from other countries…but he trained hard and became able to put it on a dime.
            This was a cheap shot by Key on a person that has been a pretty good rolemodel.

            • Te Reo Putake 1.2.2.1.1.1

              Nice analysis, fatty, you’ve got a good understanding of the game. There is no question that Becks isn’t the quickest, then or now, but you did suggest he was slow, which I still think underestimates him. Even in his late thirties he’s competitive against pretty young opposition in the USA SoccerBall! (TM) World Series.*
               
              I’d say David Beckham has earned his coin honestly and, at times, cleverly. Not so sure about whether the same could be said for Key.
               
               
              *may not be the actual name of the competition.
               
               

              • fatty

                Nah…I’ve got a football addiction and and a strong opinion…if my analysis of football was better, then my fantasy football team wouldn’t be such a disaster.
                I used to hate Becks, but now I quite like him…like you say he’s had a long career, and he manages to keep up within the USA competition (which is a better competition than many people give it credit for). He does this even though he spends a lot of time coaching kids and setting up training camps for them. He uses his fame in a positive manner…and Beckham has had a microphone in his face for years – we’d all have records of illogical sentences if everything we said was reported.
                John Key should give Beckham credit for winning a lot of troaties

                • tc

                  Fatty an excellent summary. Great dead ball specialist and passer of the ball, awesome fitness but neither had pace nor an ability to tackle which Roy Keane/Butt mostly did anyway.

                  Benefitted from having superb management personally and as a footballer with Ferguson then capello at real Madrid. Made every post a winner so credit where it’s due as he’s won titles in England, Spain and the US.

                  Key shows his lack of class and general stupidity dissing someone hes probably envious of.

  2. Colonial Viper 2

    Plenty of New Zealanders are going to get bottled and spat on this weekend. Thanks Prime Minister Key.

    • Redbaron77 2.1

      The Sun currently has it as the lead on its website. Hopefully the story dies a quick death and does not build up into a “useful” distraction from the Saville scandal which has dominated UK media for a good fortnight. Looking at the comments in The Sun the invective is being directly cast towards the PM rather than NZ’ers in general (touch wood). Nonetheless JK is not a novice and New Zealanders have been poorly served by his loose-lipped comments.

    • PlanetOrphan 2.2

      Trying to encourage repatriation ya reckon?
      Scare them back home with bigotry and ridicule.
      That’ll work M8!

  3. marsman 3

    John Key should know about being thick as batshit, half his cabinet are and Key is not the brightest button in the box either.

  4. ianmac 4

    As a child was heard to remark,”Takes one to know one!” 🙂

  5. ak 5

    Cringe. Wee Johnny Dubya strikes again.

    Could some kind patriot please send the Sun a compilation of Keyisms in the hope that any further reputational harm is isolated to this clown alone?

    • Rodel 5.1

      Please also tell them that Key isn’t representative of New Zealanders and doesn’t represent us either.He’s just a pretending PM until we get a real one.

  6. PlanetOrphan 6

    Just Imagine “John Hollywood Sparkles” playing football ……

    They ban maggots like you these days Johny Boy!

    Johny sitting onfield clutching his shin in agony….
    Ref yelling from the side line, “The Game hasn’t started yet fool!”

  7. Chalupa Batman 7

    You are sad little people

    • Colonial Viper 7.1

      “Batshit thick” is going to be on all National’s 2014 election hoardings.

    • thatguynz 7.2

      How does the saying go? “There are none so blind as those that can not see”.. Perhaps you should question why you support your corrupt Dear Leader before you worry about pointing the finger at others..

      • Chalupa Batman 7.2.1

        “There are none so blind as those that can not see”
        – Oh gosh thats a killer blow because that obviously only works one way. It could never be leveled at anyone else. Muppet.

        • thatguynz 7.2.1.1

          Sigh… That’s the best you could do? And you call ME a muppet. lol

          If you want to get into a battle of wits you’re going to have to do better than coming half equipped.

          • Chalupa Batman 7.2.1.1.1

            Being that you think “There are none so blind as those that can not see” is somehow the ultimate burn suggests you are unoriginal and therefore boring.

            I’ll just wait to see how long it takes for you to say I’m a Nazi or something similar…

            • PlanetOrphan 7.2.1.1.1.1

              When a Blind man cries, he feels it from his soul …..

            • thatguynz 7.2.1.1.1.2

              More bluster. Well done, you are on a roll! “Ultimate burn”? Good lord, how old are you?

              I suggest you go back and re-read the original statement I made. Coming to a left leaning blog with nothing but shallow rhetoric makes you nothing more than a troll. If you would prefer to substantiate and debate as opposed to your poor attempts to belittle then perhaps you may have more success..

              • Chalupa Batman

                How does the saying go? “There are none so blind as those that can not see”.. Perhaps you should question why you support your corrupt Dear Leader before you worry about pointing the finger at others..

                – See I read the comment and decided that it had nothing to do with the thread itself. This is about about John Key pointing out Beckham is as thick as batshit and the resulting bad publicity.

                Nothing to do with corruption whatsoever but if you’re wondering why I support him in this particular matter its because from the comments he makes in the media Beckham does indeed sound as think as batshit

                If you mean supporting John Key in general then you might want to read this comment:

                In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as a forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.

                You are a troll because this thread is not about whether John Key is corrupt (off topic) or you are a troll because you are trying to provoke an emotional response from me

                You Sir are a troll and so I expect you to show some respect for this thread (and the authors) and refrain from posting.

                [Bunji: okay, let’s stop the flame war… it only results in lots of work for site moderators…]

                • thatguynz

                  Umm… “You are sad little people” at comment 7. Enough said.

                  As Bunji has suggested I’ll leave it here – you pretty much made my argument for me.

    • @Chalupa Batman

      What is with the “you are sad little people” bit?

      Are you aware you are talking to all the voices in your head on a public website?

  8. BM 8

    Some Beckhisms.

    “”Alex Ferguson is the best manager I’ve ever had at this level. Well, he’s the only manager I’ve actually had at this level. But he’s the best manager I’ve ever had.” David Beckham

    “My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about seven.” David Beckham

    “I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet.” David Beckham

    “That was in the past – we’re in the future now.” David Beckham”

    “Their homework is so hard these days. It’s totally done
    differently to what I was teached when I was at school, and you
    know, I was like, Oh my God, I can’t do this.” David Beckham”

    • PlanetOrphan 8.1

      You should challenge that Beckham to a a game of Ruggers M8!

      Might be the first game you’ve won in your life BM 😈

      Would ya believe I understood every word Beckham was trying to say, and he is a nice guy.

      Obviously why people like u bag him I guess, easy mark(s) n all …..

      • BM 8.1.1

        The guys isn’t the sharpest knife in the block, there’s no denying that.
        But he’s a very successful footballer and has done very well, personally I’m a bit surprised John Key made this comment.
        He’s in the heart of socialist NZ and must realise that he can’t speak off the record as certain people will run to the press with any comment that can be used against himself and National.

        • Chalupa Batman 8.1.1.1

          Thats true but do you think these comments will hurt him or endear him to more NZers. I think it’ll help and the more publicity it gets the btter.

          I’m guessing the traditional working-class man in NZ probably agrees with him and doesn’t see the problem.

          • BM 8.1.1.1.1

            I’m picking that Labour will try to use it against JK to score points and once again, in their usual ham fisted way, have it back fire on themselves with JK coming out the winner.

          • felix 8.1.1.1.2

            Yep Chalupa. This is just Key doing his “permanent campaigning” bit for the home crowd.

            He doesn’t give a flying fruitbowl about diplomacy, which he should, as it’s quite an important part of the PM’s job. But we all know how seriously he takes the PM job, don’t we?

            He also doesn’t give one about offending the poms, but they’re all well aware of Beckham’s “environmentally sustainable use of the power of thought” anyway and probably wouldn’t argue the point.

            Nah, what he cares about being the man in the eyes of kiwi dickheads. He is, after all, an entertainer first and foremost.

            • Chalupa Batman 8.1.1.1.2.1

              Well as every political party knows the ends justifies the means I guess or is it just playing to your strengths?

              • PlanetOrphan

                Justification of his own Guilty conscience and by transference those of his followers M8!.
                Simple “child” psychology applied to the masses M8!
                PlanetKey Featuring DunnoKeyo the talking ass.

                • Chalupa Batman

                  True but every party does it (not that it makes it ok)

                  • PlanetOrphan

                    If they all stopped playing politics ….

                    I don’t think “Guilt” is a driver for all the opposition parties, but in Labours’ case it’s hard too ascertain what is driving them.

              • felix

                “the ends justifies the means “

                That depends entirely on what the ends are. And the means.

                I don’t think it really applies to Key.

        • PlanetOrphan 8.1.1.2

          Well he knows there’s nothing good to say so negative publicity is the only publicity ……

          • Chalupa Batman 8.1.1.2.1

            Um I don’t think he was saying it for publicity, Key seems to be at least one or two percent points ahead of his nearest rival…

            • PlanetOrphan 8.1.1.2.1.1

              U underestimate them, as others have said the “trick” is to repeat it ad infinitum
              It’s a fallacy, but too them it’s the conservative justification of action(s).
              Observational sciences run amok M8!

            • felix 8.1.1.2.1.2

              You misunderstand the game, Chalupa. Key doesn’t.

              • Chalupa Batman

                Thats more than likely correct, Keys pretty smart

                • felix

                  I never suggested he was smart, just that he’s smarter than you.

                  And really, that’s all he needs to be.

                  • Chalupa Batman

                    In all seriousness if you look at his education and career and how good he is at being popular (as a politician) one would have to (grudgingly) accept he would be above average intelligence,

                    Wis: 12
                    Int: 15
                    Char: 16

                    • Jackal

                      And yet if we judge David Beckham by the same criteria we find that he’s at least three times as successful as John Key. If success truly does relate to intelligence, and Key thinks Beckham is “thick as batshit”, that would indicate that Key is even thicker than batshit… Likely the reason he made the statement in the first place.

                    • felix

                      Chaotic Evil. Also your Wis score is waaaay too high.

                    • PlanetOrphan

                      Court Jester skill: 100

    • mike e 8.2

      Bm he would make a good leader of the national party

    • Fisiani 8.3

      People here are always asking John Key to be truthful. Surely everyone agrees that his joke was accurate? Get a life folks! I fully expect this comment to be used by Labour in question time next week as they try yet again to score a hit. They never seem to learn. Key can swat that back with consumate ease. He made the comment at a school in Dunedin and the media making a storm in a D-cup plays his words to a wider audience. Waitakere voters lap it up just as they lapped up his swigging a cool beer whilst cooking a barbie with Prince William. You really dont get it. This is actually PR gold for John Key. The faux outrage is hysterical.

      • Te Reo Putake 8.3.1

        Er, Beckham isn’t thick, he’s just not educated. Spent his schooldays kicking a football instead of swotting. And, just out of curiosity, how thick is batshit? Isn’t the fact that the PM mangled his insult an indicator that it’s Dunnokeyo that is the thickie, not Beckham?

      • gobsmacked 8.3.2

        Shorter Fisiani:

        “Whatever John Key says is awesome!!1!1”

        Next: “Key says Valerie Adams is a fat Poly slag …” More PR Gold! Waitakere voters!

        Anything, ever – “I LOve YOu JoHn …”

        • Fisiani 8.3.2.1

          Gobsmacking hyperbole simply proves my point. Please keep it up. Your insults of the most popular PM in history with a proven track record of the best turnaround in NZ’s future economic prospects need to be better than that!

          • gnomic 8.3.2.1.1

            Haha. Ha. This is some sort of ultra-satire attempt right? From way beyond the fringe. If not, you need help, but I’m not sure you can be fixed.

      • Jilly Bee 8.3.3

        Fisiani – this Waitakere voter DIDN’T lap it up at all and I’m of an age where I would prefer the PM of NZ didn’t use that sort of language to college age students. It’s not setting a good example.

        • Fisiani 8.3.3.1

          Are you seriously saying that the word shit is the end of the world. Methinks thou dost need to get a real life. Seriously though I wish you well.

          • North 8.3.3.1.1

            You Fish are apologising for Dunnokeyo making himself look like an utter (ungrateful and gossiping) tit. Clap your hands if you like but it doesn’t alter the fact…..a tit. Behaviour unworthy of a PM. Little by little he shits more and more in his own bat nest so don’t be so sure about “the most popular PM ever….”

    • Anne 8.4

      Who supplied you with that list BM? Cameron Slater? Or did it come direct from National HQ?

  9. ianmac 9

    On Christening, I thought he just meant that they had to decide on C of E or Presbyterian or..
    Parents being there for him since he started showing soccer skills.
    Being in the future now seems reasonable. (There is no NOW. Only PAST or FUTURE.)
    He had managers at previous levels but Alex was the pick of them all even though the only one at top level.

    Sportsmen are prone to making innocuous but safe statements to the press. Surely they are not intimidated by having fair comments ridiculed and twisted as David has had done. Anyone would think that Mr Key for example has never put a word wrong. Hmmm?

  10. Chalupa Batman 10

    and you wonder why, in spite of how National is doing in the polls, John Key is still so popular.

    This comment will only make him more popular because:
    a. He wasn’t saying it to appeal to NZers as a whole
    b. It wasn’t scripted
    c. Most NZers either don’t care or agree with him anyway

    • Colonial Viper 10.1

      you forgot to add

      d. Every other irrelevant, assumption filled reason I could think of.

      • Chalupa Batman 10.1.1

        You’re probably right, I mean how much more popular could he possibly be?

        • felix 10.1.1.1

          You’re not quite correct about it not being scripted. Sure, the words weren’t written for him, but the storyboard has been revised. Key has internal polling (and his political gut) telling him he’s losing the dickhead vote, and fast.

          Dickheads are happy to vote for a dickhead when things are going well for them, but they’ve seen Key caught out in a few too many lies lately. And that’s tolerable to a point, but only in the good times. If they don’t start getting more work and security, better pay, and a generally less fucked country soon then they’ll turn away in droves*.

          Trouble is Key can’t provide any of that, so expect to see a lot more full-on dickhead behaviour from him in coming weeks and months. It’s quite literally the only trick he has left.

          *Or even worse, turn on him. And Key knows that a while a happy dickhead might be good company, a bitter, angry, cornered dickhead is another thing altogether.

    • framu 10.2

      ” or agree with him anyway”

      that whole “hes just saying what we are all thinking” line again right? – give me a break, thats weak

      im not going to assume to know what all NZers think. But im far from impressed that the leader of our govt thinks its A-OK to just slag someone, anyone off for no reason.

      It might be OK round the BBQ, depending on whos present – but theres a difference between pub talk and public talk – Key doesnt seem to know the difference (hell he barely seems to know hes the PM most of the time) – and neither do you it seems

      Ask yourself, if you were a senior public figure, and journos, bloggers or anyone other than close personal friends was in the room – would you so willingly drop your pants and put your foot in your mouth?

      • Chalupa Batman 10.2.1

        I wouldn’t but then I’m not the Prime Minister + the phrase mountain out of a mole hill springs to mind

        • framu 10.2.1.1

          so you wouldnt personally if you were PM (im guessing you know that its not a good look?) but you’ll defend Key to the hilt?

          Thats kinda weird behaviour

          whos making a mountain? – no one it seems

          or are we not allowed to comment now? is any thing that doesnt gel with your world view somehow a big deal?

          • Chalupa Batman 10.2.1.1.1

            so you wouldnt personally if you were PM (im guessing you know that its not a good look?) but you’ll defend Key to the hilt?

            – Yes its a bad look (to me) but then a lot of what politicians do is things I wouldn’t consider doing, like how MPs use parliamentary privilege to lie and slag off others

            whos making a mountain? – no one it seems

            – This whole is based around saying Beckhams thick. Thats all.

            or are we not allowed to comment now? is any thing that doesnt gel with your world view somehow a big deal?

            – My comment was this is a mountain out of a molehill, not saying it shouldn’t be commented on but just letting people know its really nothing

            • framu 10.2.1.1.1.1

              OK everyone – lets drop this – CB has let us know that its nothing really, just a bit of a joke really, so please dont talk about it – that would be elevating the issue from a discussion to something of national importance. So can we all not expect appropriate behaviour from the PM? after all other politicians say dumb stuff too.

              I still think your defense of Key on this is strange CB – “I wouldnt do it – but others do so i will defend it”

      • felix 10.2.2

        “It might be OK round the BBQ”

        Key is always around the BBQ from now on.

      • Treetop 10.2.3

        framu, Key’s defence is, it was a private conversation and next he will claim media intrusion just like with the teapot tape.

        • framu 10.2.3.1

          Yeah i would put my money on that too – Doesnt change the fact that he is the PM and as such should treat virtually everything said outside the confines of a closed room as “possibly public”
          Especially if he thinks hes just having a laugh

          – i mean ive got some off colour humour and pretty colourfull vocabulary – dont bring it to work, dont even bring to the carpark outside work

  11. Jackal 11

    The Mirror (daily circulation over 1 million) has a more critical article about Key’s comment:

    Mr Key, a father of two who has British heritage, was elected in November 2008.

    A former foreign exchange dealer, he has come under fire for several gaffes.

    In 2010 he was criticised for joking about being eaten by members of New Zealand’s Maori population.

    His office declined to comment on the Beckham claims.

    It would have been interesting if they had listed all his gaffes so to speak… But I guess that would have taken up an entire page if not more.

  12. ak 12

    Chalupa’s right. This is a disaster for Labour.

    Any minute now, headline in Truth: Celeb Couple Malljane: “SHOW US THE SUN, MR SHEARER”

  13. Just Julie 13

    This so-called “Leader” is neither a Statesman nor a Patriot, and has long since given up any attempt to behave in a Prime Ministerial fashion. He was always more style over substance, but now even the former is sadly lacking.

  14. ak 14

    BEX BEMUSED BY BATSHIT KEY-WEASE

  15. gobsmacked 15

    Key’s desperate defenders (both of them) can’t have it both ways.

    When he went on Letterman, some of us cringed, but the justification was … “Worth millions! Great marketing! Minister of Tourism puts NZ on the map!” etc.

    If that was true, then so is this. “Minister of Tourism insults a nation’s favourite son in major market, loses millions”.

    New Zealand has a good reputation in the UK. Partly because nobody over there has ever heard the wit and wisdom of our Prime Minister. Now they have. He’s reached far more people than Letterman, so how many jobs has that cost?

    Please feel free to admit what we all knew, but only some of us said – that the Letterman stunt was all about selling John Key to voters, not selling the country overseas.

  16. Not too mention a lack of manners. Beckham spent 45 minutes with John Key’s son and this is how Key thanks him. How many kids would have giving their eye teeth to be in Beckham’s company for 45 minutes? Key needs to apologise.

    • fatty 16.1

      Yes, Its a dig at someone who shouldn’t have to put up with that. I’m no fan of Beckham, mostly because I am anyone but United. But as a person he’s done a lot of good things…John Key being an arsehole again.
      The difference between Beckham and Key is that Golden-Balls uses his talent to help & inspire children, whereas DonKey-Balls uses his talent to force more Kiwi children into poverty

      • seeker 16.1.1

        @fatty

        “The difference between Beckham and Key is that Golden-Balls uses his talent to help & inspire children, whereas DonKey-Balls uses his talent to force more Kiwi children into poverty ”

        Good comment, but so sad that it is all too true. However I couldn’t help chuckling at your comparison of nicknames, especially as I have been thinking of Don Key as Con Key for a while now, and couldn’t work out which name suited him better as regards the use of the word ‘balls’ when describing the ever shrinking pm.

    • Murray Olsen 16.2

      It does demonstrate a huge lack of respect, but if it leads to other celebrities ignoring Key’s obnoxious brats, great. BTW, it occurs to me to wonder if this 45 minute story is even actually true. Were they on the same plane on a 45 minute flight, for example? I imagine Beckham doesn’t have a lot of free time anyway, so why would Key’s brat get 45 minutes of it?

    • prism 16.3

      After Key’s son got special treatment from a man who has earned his money with physical skill and financial intelligence, then the question has to be asked ‘Who is the batwit?” What a lack of social training and control from our Prime Minister. Another low point for NZ from the RWNJ side that is so fond of bringing the image of our becoming a future banana republic to the fore, ignoring the fact that they are pushing us there.

  17. Tony P 17

    While most of the chatter focuses on Key’s comments I’m a little pissed off about who it was said to. A group of school children FFS. As a teacher I would never use this language when speaking to them and would be censured if I did. Totally inappropriate.

    • The inappropriateness for the audience goes without saying.

      Not to mention he’s Minister of Tourism slating a high profile international public figure. Pure NZ – you bring ’em, we’ll bag ’em!

    • @ Tony P

      Yes, good point.
      The comment is entirely inappropriate and an entirely disrespectful thing to say on so many levels that the list is probably fairly well endless.

      • dan1 17.2.1

        Namedropping has been a part of Key’s modus operandi for years. I would understand Key giving such insightful revelations to his local golf club or to some half tanked Rotary meeting, but to give it to schoolgirls at a private school, and then to tweet that “I have been to St Hildas today!” speaks volumes for the guy’s mindset.
        We have got to get rid of this moron.

  18. fender 18

    These are the ramblings of a sleaze. RNZ reported his comments were made at an all girls school. He’s clearly fishing for school girl crushes on himself.

    Key is a fool and unfit to be PM. He should be sacked and taken to the cleaners in court by Beckham.

  19. Chris 19

    If key used language like that on a school visit then he should be censured. Did he think that the young girls would be impressed. I should think that they would have more intelligence that that.He is just such a cringeworthy little moronic oick,it beggars belief that he is our “most popular(snigger)pm ever.And how did David Beckham ever come to be mentioned? Did they ask him if he knew Beckham? Heavens, I do feel sorry for his kids,they must get so ashamed of him.Anyway.Becks thick as bat…t (not that I think so)worth $300 mil,key thick as pig…t (do think so) worth $50 mil and I bet that’s a lie as well..He is just SO EMBARRASSING!!! Bet he goes to ground for a while.

  20. bob 20

    I think there will be a new guy fawkes this year on british bonfires. Key is a nasty rightwing pakeha type with a nasty brand of humour. What a fucking dumb thing to say.

  21. ak 21

    Meanwhile, in a secret location deep in the heart of the Remuera badlands, the three friends confer……

    “Holy asset sales BATSHITMAN, it seems the DOTCOM fiasco has exposed our secret control of the civilian spy network and the POLICE!!!!! This could be bad, next it could be our covert ties to the MEDIA!!!!

    “Ha! ~ Fear not, DOBBIN, the Forces of Progression have been thwarted for two millenia by the BATSHIT dynasty and the NACTZI ALLLIANCE!!!! While there remains anywhere, anytime, the poor and weak, the feeble and defensless, the despised or the mocked, BATSHITMAN AWAITS! ALFRED – prepare the BASHMOBILE!”

    Who will get the bash this time? Find out in the next action-packed episode of BATSHITMAN and the FARCES OF WEEVIL

  22. I guess the easiest response to yet another example of the endless puerile and disrespectful utterances from our PMs cake-hole is:

    Yeah, well he would know about being as thick as bat-shit, wouldn’t he? Being that it takes one to know one and all….

  23. Blue 23

    Ha, this is classic. Key casts aspersions on Beckham’s intelligence whilst garbling the insult so badly he turned ‘thick as pigshit’ and ‘batshit crazy’ into his own special brand of nonsense.

    He’s so desperate to impress by name-dropping all the big celebrities he’s met that he just can’t resist the chance to show off – ‘I met David Beckham OMG!!!’

    What a guy. Swearing in front of schoolkids, dumping on a guy who was nothing but nice to him and his son, causing international headlines with his complete lack of diplomatic skill and displaying his own less than stellar grasp of the English language to boot.

    I would love to be a fly on the wall if he ever meets David Beckham again.

  24. Prodigal Son 24

    So, despite this, how come Key is still way more popular than Clark was?

    • fender 24.1

      Yes you are quite correct to point out we have a “thick as batshit” problem with voters who fail to see the real Key. But his hidden side is being exposed now his motor mouth keeps trying to enlighten everybody into seeing his true nature.

      • blue leopard 24.1.1

        The popularity Mr Key apparently continues to enjoy (if the polls are to be considered accurate), might be less indicative of NZers being as thick as batshit and more indicative of the powerful effects that spin has on people who are trusting.

        Although, yes, it really does feel like people here are as thick as batshit to be still indicating they approve of this Government after all that is going on… Tired and frustrated sigh

        • Captain Nemo 24.1.1.1

          I think if there were a credible. cohesive and non-loopy alternatve then things might change, but until then, just like the latter days of Clark, the status quo will continue – until the middle ground hate the incumbent so much (as happened for Clark) that they will take any other option.

        • KJT 24.1.1.2

          But they do not know what is going on.

          We will be waiting a long time if we expect anything from the media but National propaganda.

    • fender 24.2

      Or there are folks who want a Paul Henry clone as PM?

  25. Logie97 25

    Just another example of his lack of nouse.
    Remember the interview with Paul Henry about the Governor General.

    Prime Ministerial behaviour – Nah.

  26. bob 26

    English people are gonna hate this. Beckham isn’t the shy 20something to them anymore , he’s quite rightly, one of their greatest footballers and they will see the slight as an attack on their own, what is it with the National party and slagging off other nations when it suits.

    • fender 26.1

      National has always attracted two-faced, racist, bigoted, narcissistic psycopaths.

      • North 26.1.1

        Right on with the “narcissistic” characterisation Fender !

        Who wouldn’t be with the smarming, giggling, flibbertigibbet Heki Pirau Parata (Trish Carter before she became Maori) giving you sweetie eyes across the Cabinet table…….?

        Dunnokeyo’s performance as PM is getting positively Monty Pythonesque.

    • tc 26.2

      And a key figure in securing the Olympics so for someone in public life to say such a thing about anyone, let alone Beckham shows what a twat Sideshow John is.

      The UK press will not rollover like his mates holmesy, garner and gluon do here. This foot will stay in the mouth awhile as the Brit media will enjoy this and maybe show our MSM what a hatchet job really looks like.

  27. infused 27

    Who really gives a shit.

    • fender 27.1

      Not you until the day he declares “that infused idiot is thick as pigshit, batshit crazy”

      Others want a more civilised person to represent their country.

      John Key/Bush/Romney types should never get to lead a nation if their nation wants to be taken seriously and gain respect. It’s a failure of the National Party to let this fool lead their party.

      Isn’t Prince Charles about to visit? I’d like to see him make an issue about this and refuse to meet with the PM but he will meet with the deputy in the hope that he has more decorum.

      • Anne 27.1.1

        Isn’t Prince Charles about to visit?

        Thanks for the reminder fender. It makes it even more deliciously humorous. Key was expecting the usual political kudos out of the visit as he waltzed around the country with them. The British media pack accompanying Charles and Camilla will be feasting on Key instead. Isn’t Beckham a personal friend of some members of the Royal Family? He and Posh were guests at William and Kate’s wedding.

        • fender 27.1.1.1

          The crass Key was also a guest at the wedding (he was probably the one farting and belching at the dinner table) but hopefully he’s been scratched for any future celebrations.

        • Chris 27.1.1.2

          Oh fantastic!! I cannot wait to see what sort of little witticisms he comes up with.”Camilla(or Cam), looking lovely today, gosh your mane is looking lovely and shiny, what horse shampoo are you using on it?

    • North 27.2

      Bats maybe ? Does Judy Girl qualify ?

  28. Key = Brain Fade = Dumb and Dumber
    What an absolute Plonkey, especially when he considers his nact govt is the epitome
    of higher standards for education, just what did his remark teach the students?

  29. seeker 29

    I knew Key could attain the heady heights of becoming a British tabloid headliner! And in The Sun no less! His character, behaviour and leadership is certainly worthy of such a suitable accolade.

  30. Tanz 30

    Just the real Key coming through, now that the shine is wearing off him/.

  31. gobsmacked 31

    John Key’s name is mud.

    No it’s not, it’s David Key. Or Jeff Key. Or John Kay …

    http://www.listener.co.nz/commentary/the-internaut/keys-thick-as-batshit-beckham-comments-win-international-headlines/

    Loving this. The name-dropper’s name is … not worth knowing. Just ask President Obama, good friend of “Mr Keys”.

    He sets such store by being A Very Important Person, and in reality, he’s nobody.

  32. dan1 32

    Thick as batshit! Not exactly a New Zealandism. It indicates just how far he defers to be American!

  33. bob 33

    Beckham has an amazing capacity to deliver in very stressful situations, his football intelligence and his ability to focus are not the mental attributes of a “stupid” individual. Key just doesn’t understand a quiet east london guy like Beckham.

  34. gnomic 34

    Scowling (formerly smirking) batshit weasel man is just another member of the ‘Hone’ Carter school of National Party would-be humourists, their supposed witticisms get rave reviews from the faithful, but fall flat for everyone else. The batshit weasel isn’t actually all that bright and seemingly has next to no background in cultural and artistic matters. Could be be both a hollow and a shallow man? Anyway, all anyone needs to know about Key is that his political hero is Robert Muldoon. Somehow I don’t think that NZ’s last socialist would approve of his successor’s agenda.

  35. Brian 35

    Matters not one jot if Beckham is thick – Key is an arrogant and ungrateful arse who lacks simple civility. If this is what he thinks of successful people we can only imagine what his opinion of the average NZ voter is.

  36. Tombstone 36

    Thanks Key – just what this country needed. Fuckin’ dick!

  37. Ok, let me get this straight. One tiny newspaper in New Zealand finally breaks the news that bankers have been ripping off NZ farmers as well as everybody else with Derivatives and you are talking about what one of those bankers who got away with it has to say about a well managed but indeed an incredibly thick sportsman with a knack for kicking a ball in the right direction.

    Talk about screwed up priorities!

    • Kinda agree with you, hope that you write an article on the subject here, travellerev, I have heard of this subject on Max Keiser and its an incredibly dodgy scam, if it is the same as what has been going on in Britain.

  38. deuto 38

    The Herald’s take on it this morning – ‘Thick as bat shit’ remark gets brush-off from Beckham camp

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10844975


    David Beckham’s public relations chief has put the boot into comments made by Prime Minister John Key after he branded the football superstar “thick as bat shit”.

    “It is not worthy of comment,” Oliveira told the Herald on Sunday. …

    But a source close to Beckham claimed he barely remembers meeting Key.

    “David isn’t sure he spent much time with him at all,” the source said. “He remembers the previous leader Helen Clark a lot better.”

    A spokesman for Galaxy said the club had never heard of Key and their star player was too busy preparing for a weekend match to get involved. …

    Key yesterday tried to distance himself from his remarks as he attended a fundraising event at a Devonport bowling club in Auckland.

    “I have nothing to say,” he shrugged. “It was a personal comment and I am not going to engage in talking about something that someone thought they heard me say.”

    Brian Lloyd, bat survey officer for Forest and Bird, said Key’s remarks were “an insult to bats and to Beckham”.

    “Bats are pretty intelligent. Their droppings are rich in nitrogen and produce their own ecosystem. And they are anything but thick.”

    Max Cryer, author of popular Kiwi linguistic books, said he thought the PM had got his words mixed up and a more common expression was “boring as bat shit”.

    “He may have meant to reference pig shit, which is a far more widely used term,” Cryer said.

    “He perhaps should check what he is saying before getting it wrong and accusing other people of being thick.

    “David Beckham has made hundreds of millions of dollars from his off-field business activities and you would think John Key would be aware of that.”

    IMO, as I commented a week or so ago re Key and Dotcom, I think Key is envious/ has Tall Poppy syndrome towards anyone who is richer than him and therefore disparaging in an attempt to maintain his own top of the pops position (in his own view anyway).

    I agree wholeheartedly with the remarks above about the inappropriateness of Key making these remarks to a school audience – and the complete lack of good manners towards someone who went out of his way in spending time with Key’s son.

    • Colonial Viper 38.1

      Max Cryer, author of popular Kiwi linguistic books, said he thought the PM had got his words mixed up and a more common expression was “boring as bat shit”.

      Ahhhh…I think Cryer got it right – John Key mixed up common sayings and mangled them, while accusing someone else of not being too bright. The irony.

      • fender 38.1.1

        I thought he had mixed up “thick as pigshit” and “batshit crazy”

        Either way Key is by far the bluntest knife ever to be pulled from the PM drawer.

    • Thanks for the info Deuto,

      I had to laugh, “It is not worthy of comment” and “Beckham claimed he barely remembers meeting Key”…”He Helen Clark a lot better”

      LOL! Brilliant!

      Clearly Mr Beckham’s PR people are on the ball…am wondering if they would come and work for NZ Labour Party for a while…..?

  39. Anne 39

    “I have nothing to say,” he shrugged. “It was a personal comment and I am not going to engage in talking about something that someone thought they heard me say.”

    I nearly commented on this post last night predicting Key would say:

    It was nothing. Just a bit of a joke and I’ve been quoted out of context anyway.

    What it shows is that he is a thoroughly nasty piece of work and has been all his life. In fact, didn’t someone come forward a few years back and claim he had been bullied by Key at primary school?

    I noted Beckham remembers Helen Clark but not Key! That tells me he isn’t as thick as Key claims. 😀

    • fender 39.1

      Sure was a “personal comment” or more accurately a “personal attack” on a well respected nice guy that was unprovoked and totally out of line. Perhaps he meant to say it was a “private comment”(?)

      My 12 year old son has a better understanding and command of the english language than the rusty padlock that is Key. Did Key pass S.C. english I wonder(?)

  40. deuto 40

    +1, Anne. I too expected Key to try to brush it off – and like the comment re Helen Clark.

    I also laughed at the Forest and Bird comments re Key’s remarks being an insult to bats, and bats being anything but thick!

  41. Descendant Of Smith 41

    This is a government that continually insults many of it’s own citizens, particularly those who are less well off, have been laid off from their jobs, have had husbands leave them or become struck with illness – whether physically unwell or mentally unwell.

    If they have no respect for the people they are supposed to govern then why would they have respect for anyone else.

    They also confuse governance with ruling and democracy with facism which is why we see increasingly a lack of concern and respect and consideration of minority groups and disadvantaged people and increasing numbers of laws being passed that allow unwarranted access to our homes and information, the removal of democratically elected boards, the introduction of policies that support corporates rather than small business, the pitting of one section of New Zealanders against the other and so on.

    Governance and democracy is about ensuring all citizens are considered.

    This government quite simply sucks at both those things.

  42. ak 42

    “….something that someone thought they heard me say.”

    Unbelievable. Just when we thought puerile crassness, blatant lies from the very top and this once-proud country’s reputation couldn’t possibly go any lower…. “Wasn’t me, mum! Those girls are telling fibs!”

  43. Rhinocrates 43

    Machiavelli once said, “your greatest strength is your greatest weakness” (OK, to be honest, I can’t reread The Prince to find an exact reference in time to comment) and Key’s brush-offs, and general casual style once appealed are now increasingly looking like sloppiness, which – if there was a decent major opposition party* – could be capitalised upon, but which nonetheless still seems to be seen broadly as now an indicator that Key does not have the gravitas for his job.

    The persistent refuge in uncertainty – “I might or might not have said that”, “That’s one opinion, but there are others”, “I don’t recall” could all be turned into powerful campaign tools if… um… damn, who was the leader of the opposition again?… anyway, um… ah… you know what I mean, there are some who say so, say that it could be used… people are our priority… there, did I get that right?

    There was a moment in the Reagan versus Carter debates in 1979 when Carter presented a perfectly well-reasoned and clear argument and Reagan, turning the charm up to eleven said, “There he goes.” It was utterly devastating. Key, on the other hand, isn’t Carter: he’s disingenuous, shifty, slimy, lazy and increasingly seen as such. Guess who still can’t score a hit.

    Labour couldn’t score a hit on Key because of his “charm” in 2008, but now he’s vulnerable, seen as vague and stumbling, his ministers are hated and that alleged charm now looks like smugness. Once people wanted reassurance and they thought they had it in his easiness, but now they want answers and that ease is turning into arrogant brush-offs.

    Key’s a sitting duck, a decent leader of the majority opposition party could score like Reagan with a “There he goes” quip and all that “ease” would pop like a soap bubble.

    Shearer can’t, Labour’s ABC club won’t let Cunliffe do it, but It’s good that that’s becoming so obvious to everyone now at least.

    *Yes, the Greens are doing a great job in being quick, clear and available, and Hone is really surprising in his maturity, but for some reason, the majority of the opposition seats held by… um, you know… ah… well they have been called Labour, by some… we might, ah… possibly… definitely… possibly definitely… as far as I’m concerned, maybe the Labour Party… seem to be filled with bowls of cold porridge… they could be lukewarm porridge… people are our priority…um… we’ll put people first… baby harp seals are being clubbed and that’s sad… does that make you sad? If that makes you sad… let me, ah, assure you, or I mean… possibly… instead of playing guitar, I could play a violin… would that make you sad? I mean it’s a priority… I know I won’t commit and I have no plan… but a plan, ah… well… so I don’t think that in terms of numbers there is a real opposition to porridge and we offer muesli – or possibly Weetbix… no, I didn’t say that, what I meant was… we have a priority. Um, yes, a priority. Hello? Is this switched on?

  44. Populuxe1 44

    Is this even important enough to waste breath on? Seriously? I really wish there was less trivial gloating on The Standard sometimes  – I don’t think it does any credit as far as perceptions of the left go, especially when there are so many deadly serious things to attack Key on.

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    The Zero Carbon Act is inadequate, with a weak methane target designed to give farmers a free ride. But it turns out it could have been worse: Climate Change Minister James Shaw was so desperate to get National on board, he wanted to gut that target, and leave it in ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    5 days ago
  • Illicit markets and Bali Booze
    The Herald reprints an Australian story on a couple of tragic deaths in Bali from drinking cocktails that had methanol in them.  The story argues that methanol is likely the result of home distillation. But what the young tourists were experiencing was far from a hangover. They’d consumed a toxic cocktail ...
    SciBlogsBy Eric Crampton
    5 days ago
  • This is not what armed police are for
    Last month, the police announced a trial of specialist roaming armed units, which would drive round (poor, brown) areas in armoured SUVs, armed to the teeth. When they announced the trial, they told us it was about having armed police "ready to attend major incidents at any time if needed". ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    5 days ago
  • Spain’s failed electoral gamble
    Spain went to the polls today in the second elections this year, after the Socialists (who had come to power in a confidence vote, then gone to the polls in April) rejected the offer of a coalition with the left-wing PoDemos, and instead decided to gamble n a better outcome ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    5 days ago
  • The astroturf party
    National has finally rolled out its "BlueGreen" astroturf party, fronted by an array of former nats and people who were dumped by the Greens for not being Green enough. Its initial pitch is described by Stuff as "very business-friendly", and its priorities are what you'd expect: conservation, predator-free funding, a ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    5 days ago
  • How to cheat at university
    A couple of days ago I attended (and spoke at) the University of Waikato’s “LearnFest” event. There were lots of talks and sessions on very diverse aspects of teaching, mostly at tertiary level. One was by Myra Williamson from Te Piringa Faculty of Law here at Waikato, on Contract Cheating ...
    SciBlogsBy Marcus Wilson
    5 days ago
  • How NZ was put on world maps using a transit of Mercury
    There will be a transit of Mercury – the planet Mercury will pass across the face of the Sun – taking place at sunrise in New Zealand on Tuesday, 12th November. It was by observing such an event 250 years ago that James Cook and his scientist colleagues were able ...
    SciBlogsBy Duncan Steel
    5 days ago
  • Georgina Beyer: We need to be able to talk without being offended
    Since becoming the world’s first openly transexual mayor and member of parliament, Georgina Beyer has been recognised as a trailblazer for trans rights. Daphna Whitmore talks with her about where she sees the current trans movement We start out talking about legislation the government put on hold that would have ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    6 days ago
  • The anti-fluoride brigade won’t be erecting billboards about this study
    If FFNZ really put their faith in “Top Medical Journals” they would now be amending their billboards to recognise new research results. Image from FFNZ but updated to agree with the latest research. ...
    6 days ago
  • Chosen To Rule? What Sort Of Christian Is Chris Luxon?
    National Messiah? Chris Luxon identifies himself as an evangelical Christian. If he is genuine in this self-characterisation, then he will take every opportunity his public office provides to proselytise on behalf of his faith. He will also feel obliged to bear witness against beliefs and practices he believes to be ...
    6 days ago
  • War of the worms
    I'm going to make a Reckless Prediction™ that the Tories have 'topped out' in the 'poll of polls' / Britain Elects multipoll tracker at about 38%, and in the next week we will start to see Labour creep up on them.In fact, we might just be seeing the start of ...
    6 days ago
  • Marvelly shows us how to be a feminist without feminism
    by The Council of Disobedient Women Lizzie Marvelly: “I may have missed this… has @afterellen gone all terf-y? Or am I reading something incorrectly? “ https://twitter.com/LizzieMarvelly/status/1191840059105742849 After Ellen is a lesbian website that is unashamedly pro-lesbian, as you’d expect. So why is Ms Marvelly so bothered about lesbians having their ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    7 days ago
  • Out of the past – Tories to revive racist laws from the 16th century
    Did you know there once was a time when it was illegal to be a gypsy (aka Romani) in Britain?That was between 1530, when the Egyptians Act was passed, and 1856, when it was repealed.Amongst other things, the act forbade the entry of 'Egyptians' into England, ordered those already there ...
    1 week ago
  • 1000 of these now
    Some days I sit and think, “what will I write…?” What do you say when you get to 1000 posts? Maybe you just start where you are, diverge to where this all began, then offer a collection of reader’s favourite posts, and a few of your own? (And throw in ...
    SciBlogsBy Grant Jacobs
    1 week ago
  • Has Shane Jones Just Saved NZ First?
    Counter-Puncher: The “activists” and “radicals” (his own words) from the Indian community who took such strong exception to Shane Jones’ remarks about Immigration NZ’s treatment of arranged marriages, may end up bitterly regretting their intervention. Jones is not the sort of person who turns the other cheek to his critics.SHANE ...
    1 week ago
  • Climate Change: As predicted
    Yesterday, when National voted for the Zero Carbon Bill, I predicted they'd gut it the moment they regained power, just as they had done to the ETS. And indeed, they have explicitly promised to do exactly that within their first hundred days in office. What would their amendments do? Abandon ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Let this never be forgot
    In the spirit of Remember, remember the fifth of November, let's keep this in mind FOREVER.
    Oh dear. Extraordinary interview on PM with Andrew Bridgen and @EvanHD just now. Bridgen was defending Jacob Rees Mogg’s Grenfell comments. Evan asked him if JRM had meant to say he would have left ...
    1 week ago
  • Too Late To Change Capitalism’s Flightpath?
    Collision Course? In conditions of ideological white-out, the international bankers’ “Woop-Woop! Pull Up!” warning may have come too late to save global capitalism.WHAT DOES IT MEAN when international bankers are more willing to embrace radical solutions than our politicians and their electors? At both the International Monetary Fund and the ...
    1 week ago
  • Whooping cough vaccine works well despite its imperfections
    Pertussis (whooping cough) is a conundrum. It is a disease that was described hundreds of years ago and the bacteria that causes it (Bordetella pertussis) isolated in 1906. We have had vaccines for about 80 years but this disease is defiant in the face of human immunity. I wanted to ...
    SciBlogsBy Helen Petousis Harris
    1 week ago
  • Climate Change: Passed
    The Zero Carbon Bill has just passed its third reading, uanimously. In the end, National supported it - but we all know they'll turn around and gut it the moment they regain power. Meanwhile, I guess ACT's David Seymour didn't even bother to show up. I am on record as ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Retailing of vaping products – New NZ Research
    Dr Lindsay Robertson, Dr Jerram Bateman, Professor Janet Hoek Members of the public health community hold divergent views on how access to vaping products or electronic nicotine delivery systems (ENDS) products should be arranged. Some believe ENDS should be as widely available as smoked tobacco and argue for liberal ...
    SciBlogsBy Public Health Expert
    1 week ago
  • Justice for Bomber
    When the Police were trying to cover up for the National Party over Dirty Politics, they went all-in with their abuses of power. They illegally search Nicky Hager's house, violating his journalistic privilege and invading his privacy. They unlawfully acquired Hager's bank records. They did the same to left-wing blogger ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Britain’s climate tyranny was unlawful
    Last month, in response to a wave of protests by Extinction Rebellion, the British government purported to ban their protests from the whole of London. It was a significant interference with the freedoms of expression and assembly, and another sign of the country's decline into tyranny. But now, a court ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • More crime from the spies
    Last year, the Inspector-General of Intelligence and Security reported on significant problems with the intelligence warrant system. While they were unwilling to declare any warrant "irregular" (meaning unlawful) due to the recent law change, they were also not willing to give the system a clean bill of health. Now, they've ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Vaccination, compulsion, and paternalism for the lower orders
    The National Party has come out in support of encouraging greater vaccination uptake. But it sure isn’t the way I’d do it. National’s suggested docking the benefits of those on benefit whose kids aren’t keeping up with their vaccinations. Some in National have suggested extending that to payments under Working ...
    SciBlogsBy Eric Crampton
    1 week ago
  • Global Protests Rage On: But Slogans Are Not Plans.
    Feeding The Flames: It is simply not enough to demand an end to “corruption”, or “inequality”, or the overbearing influence of the authorities in Beijing. These are just “lowest common denominator” demands: the sort of slogans that pull people onto the streets. They are not a plan.WHERE’S THE PLAN? Across ...
    1 week ago
  • 11,000 employed under Labour
    The labour market statistics have been released, and unemployment has risen to 4.2%. There are 115,000 unemployed - 11,000 fewer than when Labour took office. In that time the minimum wage has gone up by $2 an hour, which shows that the right's fears about increases causing unemployment are simply ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Boycott this democratic fraud
    The Foreign Affairs, Defence and Trade Committee has called for submissions on Andrew Little's tyrannical Terrorism Suppression (Control Orders) Bill. Normally I encourage participation in the democratic process. I am not doing so in this case. Instead, I encourage all of you to boycott this submissions process, and to post ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Why Mars is cold despite an atmosphere of mostly carbon dioxide
    Climate Explained is a collaboration between The Conversation, Stuff and the New Zealand Science Media Centre to answer your questions about climate change. If you have a question you’d like an expert to answer, please send it to climate.change@stuff.co.nz If tiny concentrations of carbon dioxide can hold enough heat ...
    SciBlogsBy Guest Author
    1 week ago
  • Climate Change: Ban private jets
    Aviation is one of the fastest growing sources of greenhouse gas emissions, and within it, one of the fastest sources is elite travel: billionaires flitting around the world in their private jets, spewing excessive pollution into the atmosphere just so they can avoid mixing with us dirty peasants. But in ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Climate Change: Untold Suffering
    That's what we face if we don't stop climate change, according to a warning from 11,000 scientists:The world’s people face “untold suffering due to the climate crisis” unless there are major transformations to global society, according to a stark warning from more than 11,000 scientists. “We declare clearly and unequivocally ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • The left and violent misogyny
    by Phil Duncan Here’s just a few of the kind of threats issued day in and day out against gender-critical women – feminists, marxists, etc – overwhelmingly by MEN (albeit men identifying as women). “Kill all Terfs”. “Shoot a Terf today”. “All terfs deserve to be shot in the head”. ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    1 week ago
  • Imperialism and the iPhone
    This is the third of the synopses of parts of the opening chapter of John Smith’s Imperialism in the 21st Century (New York, Monthly Review Press, 2016). The synopsis and commentary below is written by Phil Duncan. Unlike the humble cup of coffee and t-shirt that we looked at in ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    2 weeks ago
  • The freshwater mussel housing crisis: eviction by invasive weeds?
    Tom Moore Traditionally a food source and cutting tool, freshwater mussels/kākahi are now widely valued as water filters that help clean our waterbodies and maintain ecosystem health throughout Aotearoa. The improvement they provide in water quality can make it easier for other animals to live in streams and rivers, as ...
    SciBlogsBy Guest Author
    2 weeks ago
  • Back it up Luxon: endorsing the destructive past is not actually the way forward
    And to think he gave all the potential goodwill away with that moronic, cult-like statement (repeated ad nauseam by many National hardliners) that Key is quite simply “the greatest PM we ever had”… Installation complete: this was nothing ...
    exhALANtBy exhalantblog
    2 weeks ago
  • Good riddance
    National MP and former Conservation Minister Maggie Barry will not seek re-election next year. Good riddance. Because in case anyone has forgotten, barry is a bullying thug who terrorised both public servants and fellow MPs. She is one of the people who makes Parliament a toxic workplace, and our country ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Climate Change: D-Day
    The Zero Carbon Bill is back in the House today for its second reading. While this isn't the final stage, its still effectively D-Day for the bill. Because today, at around 5pm, is when we're going to find out if it has a majority, whether National will support it or ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Winston is right
    Winston Peters is in court today, suing a bunch of former Minister and civil servants over their pre-election leak of his superannuation repayment. He's characterised the leak as malicious, and said that it is repugnant that his information was passed on to Ministers to use for political advantage. And he's ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Media impartiality
    Sky's economics editor, Ed Conway has posted a Twitter thread responding to a claim that - as far as I can see - Labour never made:
    Are NHS operation cancellations at an all-time high? That's the impression you might have been left with if you read this story from the ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Finish what’s on your plate
    Murray Cox Do I have to finish my favourite genome? That’s an often-asked question. Geneticists generally strive to produce high-quality genomes that sequence every last gene, making full use of the state-of-the-art technologies coming on stream. Sequencing DNA means determining the order of the four chemical building blocks – called ...
    SciBlogsBy Genomics Aotearoa
    2 weeks ago
  • Gainful Employment: A Cautionary Tale.
    Transformative Politics: The idea is to turn each recipient into an unwitting accomplice in their own transformation. From interested observer to hyped-up activist, sharing our messages promiscuously with ‘friends’. You’ll be part of an ever-expanding circulatory system, Jennifer, for the ideas that will win us the election.”JENNIFER SKITTERED her chair ...
    2 weeks ago
  • New Zealand should not fund bigotry
    Two years ago, the Cook Islands government announced that it was planning to join the civilised world and decriminalise consensual homosexual sex between men. Now, they've reversed their position, and decided to criminalise lesbians into the bargain:Two years ago, in a step welcomed by many people including the gay and ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • New Fisk
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • More tyranny in Australia
    The boycott is a fundamental tool of protest. By choosing who we buy from, we can send a message, and hopefully change corporate behaviour. Historically, boycotts have been effective, for example over apartheid in South Africa and Israel, in forcing divestment from Myanmar, and in ending bus segregation in the ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Submission for rationality and science against the assaults of pre-modernism and post-modernism
    Jan Rivers spoke at the Abortion Legislation Select Committee in favour of the bill, but in opposition to calls from other submitters to exchange the word ‘woman’ for ‘person’ throughout the bill. Jan is a supporter of the feminist group Speak Up For Women and has recently written an excellent ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    2 weeks ago
  • My loyal readership of … Cam girls and Pornbots?
    I checked my traffic stats:I was intrigued by 'monica29' - who was this very dedicated individual?  I clicked on the link, to be greeted with ...Ho, hum.Spreadin' the word, spreadin' the word.  Doesn't matter who hears it, as long as it gets out there. ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Worth repeating forever
    There have been three polls since the election was announced, and I will shamelessly steal YouGov / UK Polling Report's Anthony Wells' summary of them:Survation – CON 34%, LAB 26%, LDEM 19%, BREX 12%, GRN 1% Ipsos MORI – CON 41%, LAB 24%, LDEM 20%, BREX 7%, GRN 3% YouGov ...
    2 weeks ago

  • Kiwis to have their say on End of Life Choice
    Jenny Marcroft MP, Spokesperson for Health New Zealand First backs the public to decide on the End of Life Choice Bill via a referendum at the 2020 General Election. The Bill, with New Zealand First’s referendum provision incorporated, passed its final reading in Parliament this evening. New Zealand First Spokesperson for ...
    2 days ago
  • Addressing miscarriages of justice
    Darroch Ball, Spokesperson for Justice New Zealand First is proud that a key Coalition Agreement commitment which will provide for a more transparent and effective criminal justice system has been realised. Legislation to establish the Criminal Cases Review Commission, an independent body focused on identifying and responding to possible miscarriages of ...
    3 days ago
  • Week That Was: Historic action on climate change
    "Today we have made a choice that will leave a legacy... I hope that means that future generations will see that we, in New Zealand, were on the right side of history." - Jacinda Ardern, Third Reading of the Zero Carbon Bill ...
    1 week ago
  • Tax-free deployments for Kiwi troops
    Darroch Ball, New Zealand First List MP A Member’s bill has been proposed that would provide income tax exemptions for all New Zealand Defence Force (NZDF) personnel while on operational deployment overseas. The Income Tax (Exemption for Salary or Wages of NZDF Members on Active Deployment) Amendment Bill proposed by New Zealand First ...
    1 week ago
  • A balanced Zero Carbon Bill passed
    Rt Hon Winston Peters, New Zealand First Leader New Zealand First is proud to have brought common sense to the Climate Change Response (Zero Carbon) Amendment Bill, which passed its final reading in Parliament today. Party Leader Rt Hon Winston Peters says months of hard work went into negotiating a balanced ...
    1 week ago
  • Paramedics’ status to be recognised
    Jenny Marcroft MP, Spokesperson for Health New Zealand First has listened to calls to recognise paramedics as registered health professionals under the Health Practitioners’ Competence Assurance Act (the Act). Today, the Coalition Government announced plans for paramedics to be registered as health practitioners under the Act, and the establishment of a ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Week That Was: 2,000 teachers in two years
    We began the week by commemorating the New Zealand Wars and celebrating a major increase in the number of teachers. Then, we were busy supporting offenders into work and getting our rail back on track after years of underinvestment. And that's just the start! ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Winning an election one conversation at a time
    In October I was sworn in as the Mayor of Lower Hutt. It’s the privilege of my life to serve Hutt people as their Mayor. There is something really special to be able to serve the community where I was raised, and where I live.   ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Closer cooperation with Korean horse racing industry
    Rt Hon Winston Peters, Deputy Prime Minister, Minister for Racing Racing Minister Winston Peters met with Korea Racing Authority Chairperson Nak Soon Kim in Seoul today to discuss closer cooperation between the New Zealand and Korean horse racing industries. As part of the visit to the Seoul Racecourse, Mr Peters witnessed ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Otago to lead digital creativity
    Hon Shane Jones, Minister for Regional Economic Development The Provincial Growth Fund (PGF) is investing $10 million to establish Otago as the centre of New Zealand’s creative digital industry over the next ten years, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones announced today. “The initiative will bring us closer to the vision of ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Young Otago students encouraged to take on forestry careers
    Hon Shane Jones, Minister for Regional Economic Development The Provincial Growth Fund (PGF)’s skills and employment programme will help young Otago people into long-term forestry careers, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones announced today. Te Ara Mahi will invest $63,000 in the 2020 school year to support eight 17 and 18 ...
    2 weeks ago
  • PGF backing Dunedin’s waterfront ambitions
    Hon Shane Jones, Minister for Regional Economic Development The Provincial Growth Fund (PGF) will support local plans to revitalise and stimulate economic development opportunities in Otago, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones has announced. The four Regional Economic Development Ministers have approved an in-principle investment of $19.9 million towards the region’s ...
    2 weeks ago
  • M. Bovis eradication progress welcomed
    Mark Patterson, Spokesperson for Primary Industries New Zealand First is pleased to have received the Technical Advisory Group (TAG) report on the Coalition Government’s Mycoplasma bovis eradication efforts, which shows significant progress in the fight against the disease. New Zealand First Spokesperson for Primary Industries, Mark Patterson, says the report’s findings ...
    2 weeks ago
  • PGF boosts Otago’s engineering and manufacturing sector
    Hon Shane Jones, Minister for Regional Economic Development Hon David Parker, Minister for Trade and Export Growth The Provincial Growth Fund (PGF) is investing to support economic growth opportunities for Otago’s engineering and manufacturing sectors, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones and Trade and Export Minister David Parker announced today. Almost $20 million ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Minister Peters discusses Pacific challenges and denuclearisation in Seoul
    Rt Hon Winston Peters, Deputy Prime Minister, Minister of Foreign Affairs Foreign Minister Winston Peters and his South Korean counterpart, Kang Kyung-wha, discussed in Seoul today opportunities to work more closely in the Pacific and the situation on the Korean Peninsula. Mr Peters and Minister Kang confirmed New Zealand and the ...
    2 weeks ago
  • PGF supports high speed broadband for marae at Parihaka Pa
    Hon Shane Jones, Minister for Regional Economic Development  Hon Nanaia Mahuta, Minister for Māori Development The three marae in the historic Parihaka Pa complex in Taranaki have been upgraded to high speed broadband with the support of the Provincial Growth Fund (PGF), Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones announced today. “Connecting the ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Advancing Pacific Partnerships 2019 launched
    Hon Ron Mark, Minister of Defence Minister of Defence Ron Mark will today launch the Advancing Pacific Partnerships 2019 Defence Assessment  during a speech at Te Papa.  The Assessment outlines how Defence will partner with our Pacific Island neighbours and invest in Pacific regional security architecture. The Plan aligns with the Coalition ...
    3 weeks ago
  • PGF funding could transform Gisborne company into “beacon of employment” in two years
    A new Provincial Growth Fund investment could create about 80 new jobs in Gisborne over the next two years, turning a local small business into a “beacon of employment” in the process. Regional Economic Development Parliamentary Under-Secretary Fletcher Tabuteau said the PGF’s Te Ara Mahi funding stream would provide $1.6m ...
    3 weeks ago

  • Food industry asked to step up fight against obesity
         The Government is asking the food industry to step up work to tackle obesity including reducing sugar, fat and salt in their products, better information for consumers, and tighter restrictions on advertising to children. Health Minister David Clark and Food Safety Minister Damien O’Connor have responded to a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 hours ago
  • Modern emergency care for Queenstown area
    ew, modern emergency department and outpatient facilities at Queenstown’s Lakes District Hospital mean better emergency care for the growing tourist mecca’s visitors and locals, says Health Minister David Clark. Today Dr Clark officially opened the hospital’s redeveloped Emergency Department and Outpatient facilities. The new facilities include: •    An extended Emergency Department ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    21 hours ago
  • Contraception important for New Zealanders
    Associate Health Minister Julie Anne Genter says today’s release of sexual and reproductive health data reinforces the significance of the Government’s commitment to providing free or very low-cost contraception. The Ministry of Health today published statistics from the Ministry of Health’s 2014/15 Health Survey. “It is important people can make ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    24 hours ago
  • NZ medical staff and measles vaccines going to Samoa
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters has announced that at the request of the Samoan Government, New Zealand will be providing further support to Samoa as it faces a worsening measles outbreak. “In response to a request from the people of Samoa, New Zealand is providing 3000 measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Disability Action Plan 2019 – 2023
    “The new Disability Action Plan 2019–2023 moves us towards the inclusive and accessible New Zealand that this government has committed to,” Minister for Disability Issues Carmel Sepuloni announced today.  “The Action Plan was designed by disabled people, their family and supporters, the disability sector and government agencies. It will ensure ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Joint Statement – Third Singapore-New Zealand Defence Ministers’ Meeting
    Third Singapore-New Zealand Defence Ministers’ Meeting 14 November 2019 Joint Statement 1. Defence Ministers Ron Mark and Dr Ng Eng Hen today conducted their third annual Singapore-New Zealand Defence Ministers’ Meeting in Singapore. 2. Building on the Enhanced Partnership signed between both countries in May this year, this annual meeting ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Sexual Violence Legislation Bill has its first reading
    A Bill to improve the court system’s response to sexual violence has passed its first reading in Parliament today. Justice Minister Andrew Little says the Sexual Violence Legislation Bill will reduce the trauma sexual violence complainants experience in court, while maintaining defendants’ fundamental rights and making sure the trial process ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Streamlined business invoicing a step closer
    Streamlined payment practices are a step closer for Kiwi businesses with the formal launch of New Zealand’s e-Invoicing framework. Small Business Minister Stuart Nash says the government has now established the structure to enable automated and direct data exchange between the accounting systems of buyers and sellers. “The move to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • More frontline biosecurity officers protecting NZ
    Another 51 quarantine officers and four new biosecurity detector dog teams will help protect New Zealand from invasive pests and diseases this summer, says Biosecurity Minister Damien O’Connor. “The Government is delivering on its commitment to strengthen New Zealand’s biosecurity system and support our valuable primary sector “New Zealand’s flora, fauna ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • NZ space economy worth $1.69 billion
    A new report has found New Zealand’s space sector contributed $1.69 billion to the economy in the last financial year and employs 12,000 people, Minister for Economic Development Phil Twyford announced today. The report by Deloitte was commissioned by the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment and shows New Zealand ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • New Chair for Royal Commission into Abuse
    Judge Coral Shaw has been appointed as the new Chair of the Royal Commission into Historical Abuse in State Care and in the Care of Faith-based Institutions, Internal Affairs Minister Tracey Martin announced today. "Judge Shaw, who is currently one of the inquiry commissioners, is extremely well qualified for the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Better mental health facilities for Palmerston North
    The Government has confirmed its third major mental health facility upgrade since the Budget, this time at Palmerston North Hospital. The Prime Minister and Health Minister today visited MidCentral DHB to announce that $30 million has been allocated to upgrade its acute mental health facility. It follows earlier announcements in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Bowel Screening hits halfway point
    The roll out of the National Bowel Screening Programme has reached the halfway mark, with 10 out of 20 District Health Boards now part of the programme. MidCentral DHB, which covers Palmerston North, Manawatu and surrounding districts, this week became the latest to DHB to offer free bowel screening to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • More vaccines for meningococcal disease
    The Government welcomes PHARMAC’s decision to fund a vaccine to protect young people from meningococcal disease from 1 December this year. “Meningococcal disease is a serious threat which people at higher risk should be protected from,” says Associate Health Minister Julie Anne Genter. “The combined pharmaceutical budget was increased by ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Fisheries innovation projects supported
    Groups involved with innovative fisheries research projects are encouraged to apply for government support in the latest funding round from the Sustainable Food and Fibre Futures programme. Fisheries Minister Stuart Nash says the SFF Futures funding is designed to be flexible enough to support small or large projects across a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government fixes culturally arranged marriage visa issue
    The Government has fixed an issue affecting how Immigration New Zealand has processed visa applications for culturally arranged marriages, which will now see a consistent process applied which ensures people with legitimate arranged marriages can visit New Zealand while also preventing any rorting of the system. Earlier this year Immigration ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Extension for Royal Commission into Mosque attacks
    The Royal Commission into the Attacks on Christchurch Mosques will report back on 30 April 2020 to give it more time to hear submissions and consider information, Internal Affairs Minister Tracey Martin announced today. The Royal Commission was originally scheduled to report back to Government by 10 December 2019. “There has ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Terrorism and Trade on agenda as Foreign Minister visits the United States
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters will travel to Washington DC today to attend a ministerial meeting focused on defeating ISIS, and to continue pursuing New Zealand’s trade opportunities. Mr Peters will participate in a meeting of Foreign and Defence Ministers from key countries contributing to the Global Coalition to Defeat ISIS. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Hoiho get extra support alongside 168 community conservation groups backing nature
    The recently crowned Bird of the Year, the hoiho/yellow eyed penguin, is getting a much needed helping hand alongside more than 168 other community conservation projects announced Minister for Conservation Eugenie Sage today. 168 community conservation projects throughout New Zealand are benefiting from $8 million in government grants, including $500,000 ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • New safety measures for modified pistols
    Controls on assault rifles and semi-automatic firearms are to be broadened to include some types of pistols, under changes to a bill currently making its way through Parliament. Police Minister Stuart Nash has tabled a Supplementary Order Paper to the Arms Legislation Bill, which is currently before a Select Committee ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Minister of Defence to visit Singapore and Thailand
    Minister of Defence Ron Mark will travel to Singapore today to conduct a counterpart visit and to co-chair the third annual Singapore-New Zealand Defence Ministers’ Meeting with his counterpart, Minister for Defence Dr Ng Eng Hen. “Singapore is one of our most important defence partners in the region, and our ...
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