Key tries ‘come hither’ eyes to attract jobs

PM Key says we shouldn’t lose confidence despite rising unemployment. Pledging to go ‘on the pull for jobs’, Key said he will prostitute NZ to any multi-national corporation and Kiwis should be willing to work for free. The PM was last seen smiling at himself in a mirror, muttering ‘Hey baby, wanna come back to my place and clean it for $12.75 an hour?’

Meanwhile, Minister for Unemployment Paula Bennett released the following press release:

Slow recovery fits Government focus on economy

“it’s not uncommon to see a rise the rate [sic] at this time of year and last Decemeber [sic] quarter it was 7.4% [sic],”

Leaving many to wonder whether Bennett was claiming that endless recession was all part of the government plan, whether she had heard of seasonal adjustment, and whether she mightn’t create a job by hiring a press release writer who can string together a coherent sentence with fewer than four errors.

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