Knee-benders

Written By: - Date published: 4:31 pm, June 25th, 2012 - 20 comments
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You’ll really want to know this – the queen has just updated the curtsy order.  “Blood princesses” come first, so if William isn’t there Kate has to curtsy to Anne, Alexandra, and even Beatrice and Eugenie!!! What is the world coming to, I hear you ask. But all is not lost – Sophie has to curtsy to Kate, even if William isn’t there. So that’s ok. Word has it that Sophie was not amused when she had to curtsy to Camilla when the hem-dropping order was last amended.

Will be interesting to see how low Bronagh goes when Charles and Camilla come to spend our money later this year. John Key of course will be down on both knees, kissing the ground on which they walk. I wouldn’t be surprised if he put in to the future king for a seat in the House of Lords as well, seeing that Tory backbenchers are now rebelling against reforming it. Can’t have Lord Cook of Thorndon being our only rep: Lord Key of Parnell has a nice ring to it. Be good for the CV too.

20 comments on “Knee-benders”

  1. Anne 1

    It will be ‘sent up’ a treat by the current batch of English comedians of course. I think Campbell Live has what it takes to produce an hilarious comedy number about it too.

    I’m sure Scott at Imperator Fish is working on it as we speak.

    Edit: Who is Lord Cook of Thorndon?

    • GregJ 1.1

      Robin Cooke, former President of the Court of Appeal – upon retirement in 1996 he was appointed to the House of Lords as a “Law Lord” on the Judicial Committee of the Privy Council (the place where you went for a last appeal in legal cases – usually referred to in the media as just the “Privy Council”). He is usually regarded as one of our most eminent jurists…of course he died in 2006 so he “probably” no longer sits in the House of Lords.

  2. Grumpy 2

    ” knee tremblers…………”

  3. Treetop 3

    Will be interesting to see how Kate goes in the last month of pregnancy with the curtsy.

    • Anne 3.1

      It’ll be ‘a’ over ‘t’ I should think.

      • Lanthanide 3.1.1

        I wouldn’t rule out “light duties” or perhaps full bed-rest. Can’t take chances with the future of the monarchy.

  4. GregJ 4

    Here’s a bit of fun – just so you can work out who gets the muffins first in NZ:

    New Zealand Order of Precedence

    • ianmac 4.1

      Thanks GregJ. I actually searched through the list twice but they seemed to have missed me off. Perhaps I should write in…

      • deuto 4.1.1

        But, but but – Simon Power is still on that list, even if you and I are not.

        • GregJ 4.1.1.1

          Yeah – I think Rodney Hide is on the list as well – clearly we need someone to update this straight away – the election was some time ago after all – and it will be needed for the Royal Visit!

  5. tracey 5

    it would be lord key of hobsonville with a seat next to jeffrey archerand the money changers. puts me in mind of rowan atkinsons skit about hell…

  6. Murray Olsen 6

    Lord Key could catch Lord Monckton’s eyes when they pop out.

  7. Jenny 7

    The dirty habits of the brutal feudal overlords, the trappings of which their blood decendents persist with even into the 21st Century.

    Bowing the head was to signify that your head was there for the king or lord to take lop off if they so chose.

    The same for curtseying, the feudal tradition of first night that every woman had to allow themselves to be raped by the monarchy if they so chose, was signaled by the bending of the knee and the lifting of the hem of your dress.

    If you didn’t aquiesce there was always the obliet or the rack.

  8. Raymond A Francis 8

    Jenny, time to stop going to Romantic movies if you think a curtsey is anything to do with the mythical Droit du seigneur

    That is not to say I would fall for any of this royalist bull about some people being born better than others

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