web analytics

Labour 12% ahead in the polls!

Written By: - Date published: 10:14 am, August 2nd, 2010 - 32 comments
Categories: humour, john key - Tags: ,

As I might have commented before, I don’t get too excited about the polls. It’s all about the one and only turnout on the day that matters. However, I can’t help but being very pleased to report that Labour has leapt to a dramatic 12% lead in the opinion polls over National! It’s looking good for 2011! Bravo Phil Goff and the rest of the Labour team.

What do you mean you don’t believe me?

Look, it’s all very simple. I’m using the same methodology as John Key. Last week he laughably tried to claim that NZ was closing the wage gap with Australia, by comparing the worst point he could find during Labour’s 9 years and the best he could find for the current National government. I’m simply doing the same, comparing the worst result for National in the 9 years of opposition (21% in the 2002 election result) with Labour’s recent 33% poll showing. Result, Labour is 12% ahead!

What do you mean that methodology is a complete and utter crock? What do you mean it would get torn apart by the critics? That didn’t stop John Key trying it on, did it. Why would Nice Mr Key lie to us?

32 comments on “Labour 12% ahead in the polls! ”

  1. tsmithfield 1

    Have they got polls out at the moment on the party in the most disarray?

  2. Doug 2

    You should have a poll about the future of Chris Carter in the Labour party.

    • Tigger 2.1

      I’d rather see a poll about why Richard Worth was exited from Parliament – still waiting for an explanation as to why Key dumped him…

      • Lanthanide 2.1.1

        I really wish the media had continued to ask Key why he got rid of Worth, over and over, for months, until he answered.

        • comedy 2.1.1.1

          Wasn’t it for being a serial rooter ?

          • Tigger 2.1.1.1.1

            Was it? If that’s a sackable offence there are others in Parliament who must immediately resign! Or was it who he rooted? Or was it fraud? Or disobedience? Or misrepresentation? I didn’t see Duncan Garner wetting his pants to get the truth on this…

          • felix 2.1.1.1.2

            Don’t know, comedy – Key wouldn’t say.

            Shit, he hasn’t even said for sure whether he sacked him or he resigned – I have records of him definitively emphatically saying both (as usual).

      • Cnr Joe 2.1.2

        Now Tigs, you wouldn’t want to force that nice man Mr Key to lie would you?
        With even more practise he could be able tell the electorate any old thing and we’d have to believe him…

  3. BLiP 3

    Ahhh – I’m beginning to see how they could claim ACC was broke too.

    • Draco T Bastard 3.1

      Using the wrong data in such a way as to show what you want?
      It’s part of NACTs psychopathy – The facts (sometimes referred to as “reality”) don’t show what they want them to show so they have to twist them until they do.

      • comedy 3.1.1

        “Using the wrong data in such a way as to show what you want?

        It’s part of a politicians psychopathy The facts (sometimes referred to as “reality’) don’t show what they want them to show so they have to twist them until they do.”

        There fixed the typo for you.

        • Draco T Bastard 3.1.1.1

          Yeah, you could be right – politicians of all stripes do seem to be unable to grasp the reality of our present psychopathic capitalist society. It’s destroying our world and us along with it.

  4. havoc 4

    How about a poll on what kiwis think of a 5 billion tax cut for those who already earn the top 5% of income, and whether it should be paid for by those who struggle to live a decent and fair life. Oh that’s right wealth ‘trickles down’ …well we all know exactly what is trickling down, and it ain’t that.

    • Don 4.1

      A bit like condensation running down your window if your poor the rich would never have to worry about that

  5. johnbrash 5

    R0B, you’re a very clever analyst. Keep up the fine work

  6. jbanks 6

    OMG!?! All you guys were right & aren’t seriously deluded . . . oh wait

    • Craig Glen Eden 6.1

      Arnt you the one who tried to say National did the free trade deal with China. Whose calling who deluded?

      • jbanks 6.1.1

        Yeah the new trade agreements he made last month.
        New Zealand pavilion? World Expo? Meeting Premier Wen Jiabao? Ringing any bells?
        You should really try getting out a bit.

        Oh & yeah, reality check, Labour Party 30% down 3.5%

        • Craig Glen Eden 6.1.1.1

          Oh so having a meeting is now doing the trade deal that another Government has already completed. The world expo and trade pavilion are all things set up under our trade missions they have nothing to do with some a mazing bit of skill by Key. Shit talk about disparate,
          next thing you will be telling us he bought down apartheid, your a dreamer jbanks.

          • felix 6.1.1.1.1

            Nah, Key has been asked about bringing down apartheid and he doesn’t remember what he thinks, it was so long ago.

          • jbanks 6.1.1.1.2

            The FTA was signed two years ago. These are NEW trade agreements and were not guaranteed two years ago. This progress since 2008 is all National baby.

            • loota 6.1.1.1.2.1

              Yeah lets see how well National does with the US FTA now baby

            • Pascal's bookie 6.1.1.1.2.2

              But you claimed National signed a free trade agreement with china. Which is bullshit. And once a FTA is signed, then industry specific things follow quite naturally. You’re giving them big ups for failing to fuck up. Which is probably fair enough.

              • colonelhawhaw

                What is relevant, to me, is how the party deals with the situation ……

                • Pascal's bookie

                  There seems to be an increasing anount of illiteracy in the right wing commenters these days.

                  I suspect it is tactical rather than innate, but without proof I suppose I shouldn’t just assume bad faith.

                  So I’ll have to go with the more charitable hypothesis of them just being pig ignorant arsewipes who couldn’t follow a train of thought if you stitched a tow rope to their straitjacket and chained ’em to the caboose.

      • Joshua 6.1.2

        Hahaha now Labour is trying to pass on their F-ups to National.

        Oh wait thats been going on for years hasn’t it, after 9years they are still blaming the last National Government…

  7. Santi 7

    Is the Standard the new Dim Post?

Links to post

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Project protects jobs and nature
    A Waitomo-based Jobs for Nature project will keep up to ten people employed in the village as the tourism sector recovers post Covid-19 Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says. “This $500,000 project will save ten local jobs by deploying workers from Discover Waitomo into nature-based jobs. They will be undertaking local ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 hours ago
  • Minister of Foreign Affairs makes three diplomatic appointments
    Foreign Affairs Minister Hon Nanaia Mahuta today announced three diplomatic appointments: Alana Hudson as Ambassador to Poland John Riley as Consul-General to Hong Kong Stephen Wong as Consul-General to Shanghai   Poland “New Zealand’s relationship with Poland is built on enduring personal, economic and historical connections. Poland is also an important ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 hours ago
  • Major redevelopment of Wainuiomata High School underway
    Work begins today at Wainuiomata High School to ensure buildings and teaching spaces are fit for purpose, Education Minister Chris Hipkins says. The Minister joined principal Janette Melrose and board chair Lynda Koia to kick off demolition for the project, which is worth close to $40 million, as the site ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    8 hours ago
  • New expert group appointed to advise Government on Oranga Tamariki
    A skilled and experienced group of people have been named as the newly established Oranga Tamariki Ministerial Advisory Board by Children’s Minister Kelvin Davis today. The Board will provide independent advice and assurance to the Minister for Children across three key areas of Oranga Tamariki: relationships with families, whānau, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    12 hours ago
  • COVID-19 vaccine slated for possible approval next week
    The green light for New Zealand’s first COVID-19 vaccine could be granted in just over a week, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said today. “We’re making swift progress towards vaccinating New Zealanders against the virus, but we’re also absolutely committed to ensuring the vaccines are safe and effective,” Jacinda Ardern said. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • New ACC Board members announced.
    The Minister for ACC is pleased to announce the appointment of three new members to join the Board of ACC on 1 February 2021. “All three bring diverse skills and experience to provide strong governance oversight to lead the direction of ACC” said Hon Carmel Sepuloni. Bella Takiari-Brame from Hamilton ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Economic boost for Southland marae
    The Government is investing $9 million to upgrade a significant community facility in Invercargill, creating economic stimulus and jobs, Infrastructure Minister Grant Robertson and Te Tai Tonga MP Rino Tirikatene have announced.  The grant for Waihōpai Rūnaka Inc to make improvements to Murihiku Marae comes from the $3 billion set ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Celebrating the Entry Into Force of the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons
    [Opening comments, welcome and thank you to Auckland University etc] It is a great pleasure to be here this afternoon to celebrate such an historic occasion - the entry into force of the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons. This is a moment many feared would never come, but ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Supporting disabled people to stay connected
    The Government is providing $3 million in one-off seed funding to help disabled people around New Zealand stay connected and access support in their communities, Minister for Disability Issues, Carmel Sepuloni announced today. The funding will allow disability service providers to develop digital and community-based solutions over the next two ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Voluntary saliva testing offered to quarantine workers from Monday
    Border workers in quarantine facilities will be offered voluntary daily COVID-19 saliva tests in addition to their regular weekly testing, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. This additional option will be rolled out at the Jet Park Quarantine facility in Auckland starting on Monday 25 January, and then to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Next steps in firearms buy-back
    The next steps in the Government’s ambitious firearms reform programme to include a three-month buy-back have been announced by Police Minister Poto Williams today.  “The last buy-back and amnesty was unprecedented for New Zealand and was successful in collecting 60,297 firearms, modifying a further 5,630 firearms, and collecting 299,837 prohibited ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Jobs for Nature projects target iconic ecosystems
    Upscaling work already underway to restore two iconic ecosystems will deliver jobs and a lasting legacy, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says.  “The Jobs for Nature programme provides $1.25 billion over four years to offer employment opportunities for people whose livelihoods have been impacted by the COVID-19 recession. “Two new projects ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • New Public Housing Plan announced
    The Government has released its Public Housing Plan 2021-2024 which outlines the intention of where 8,000 additional public and transitional housing places announced in Budget 2020, will go. “The Government is committed to continuing its public house build programme at pace and scale. The extra 8,000 homes – 6000 public ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Prime Minister congratulates President Joe Biden on his inauguration
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has congratulated President Joe Biden on his inauguration as the 46th President of the United States of America. “I look forward to building a close relationship with President Biden and working with him on issues that matter to both our countries,” Jacinda Ardern said. “New Zealand ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Jobs for Nature funding will create training and employment opportunities
    A major investment to tackle wilding pines in Mt Richmond will create jobs and help protect the area’s unique ecosystems, Biosecurity Minister Damien O’Connor says. The Mt Richmond Forest Park has unique ecosystems developed on mineral-rich geology, including taonga plant species found nowhere else in the country. “These special plant ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Pre-departure testing extended to all passengers to New Zealand
    To further protect New Zealand from COVID-19, the Government is extending pre-departure testing to all passengers to New Zealand except from Australia, Antarctica and most Pacific Islands, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “The change will come into force for all flights arriving in New Zealand after 11:59pm (NZT) on Monday ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Bay Cadets learn skills to protect environment
    Bay Conservation Cadets launched with first intake Supported with $3.5 million grant Part of $1.245b Jobs for Nature programme to accelerate recover from Covid Cadets will learn skills to protect and enhance environment Environment Minister David Parker today welcomed the first intake of cadets at the launch of the Bay ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Cook Islanders to resume travel to New Zealand
    The Prime Minister of New Zealand Jacinda Ardern and the Prime Minister of the Cook Islands Mark Brown have announced passengers from the Cook Islands can resume quarantine-free travel into New Zealand from 21 January, enabling access to essential services such as health. “Following confirmation of the Cook Islands’ COVID ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Supporting communities and landowners to grow employment opportunities
    Jobs for Nature funding is being made available to conservation groups and landowners to employ staff and contractors in a move aimed at boosting local biodiversity-focused projects, Conservation Minister Kiritapu Allan has announced. It is estimated some 400-plus jobs will be created with employment opportunities in ecology, restoration, trapping, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Border exception for some returning international tertiary students
    The Government has approved an exception class for 1000 international tertiary students, degree level and above, who began their study in New Zealand but were caught offshore when border restrictions began. The exception will allow students to return to New Zealand in stages from April 2021. “Our top priority continues ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Tiwai deal gives time for managed transition
    Today’s deal between Meridian and Rio Tinto for the Tiwai smelter to remain open another four years provides time for a managed transition for Southland. “The deal provides welcome certainty to the Southland community by protecting jobs and incomes as the region plans for the future. The Government is committed ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New member for APEC Business Advisory Council
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has appointed Anna Curzon to the APEC Business Advisory Council (ABAC). The leader of each APEC economy appoints three private sector representatives to ABAC. ABAC provides advice to leaders annually on business priorities. “ABAC helps ensure that APEC’s work programme is informed by business community perspectives ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Govt’s careful economic management recognised
    The Government’s prudent fiscal management and strong policy programme in the face of the COVID-19 global pandemic have been acknowledged by the credit rating agency Fitch. Fitch has today affirmed New Zealand’s local currency rating at AA+ with a stable outlook and foreign currency rating at AA with a positive ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Additional actions to keep COVID-19 out of NZ
    The Government is putting in place a suite of additional actions to protect New Zealand from COVID-19, including new emerging variants, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “Given the high rates of infection in many countries and evidence of the global spread of more transmissible variants, it’s clear that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • 19 projects will clean up and protect waterways
    $36 million of Government funding alongside councils and others for 19 projects Investment will clean up and protect waterways and create local jobs Boots on the ground expected in Q2 of 2021 Funding part of the Jobs for Nature policy package A package of 19 projects will help clean up ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • New Zealand Government acknowledges 175th anniversary of Battle of Ruapekapeka
    The commemoration of the 175th anniversary of the Battle of Ruapekapeka represents an opportunity for all New Zealanders to reflect on the role these conflicts have had in creating our modern nation, says Associate Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Kiri Allan. “The Battle at Te Ruapekapeka Pā, which took ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago