Leadership D.O.A.

Written By: - Date published: 8:41 am, February 10th, 2025 - 31 comments
Categories: act, blogs, Christopher Luxon, climate change, coalition of chaos, david seymour, humour, leadership, Maori Issues, Mining, Minister for Photo-ops, national, national/act government, Politics, spin - Tags: , ,

The PM who failed before he began.

Oh, you know I did it
It’s over and I feel fine
Nothing you could say is gonna change my mind
Waited and I waited the longest night
Nothing like the taste of sweet decline

Songwriters: Chris Shiflett / David Eric Grohl / Nate Mendel / Taylor Hawkins.


Hindsight is good, eh?

The clarity when the pieces click and you see what should’ve been blindingly obvious at the time. If only you’d been watching.

Slow motion moments before the truck hits your bus, as you understand that the driver has ignored the red light and the resulting screams of your fellow passengers.

Then, in the aftermath, the post-crash carnage, you realise there’s no way that guy should’ve been behind the wheel in the first place.

But this is not a newsletter about bus drivers; it is about the worst Prime Minister in our nation’s history. Christopher Luxon, a man whose leadership has been so lacking that it failed even before the starting line.

Image: Hotpot AI.

As we approach the half-time oranges for his government, I thought I’d give Mr Luxon some feedback and a few suggestions on how he might turn things around – if becoming a real leader interests him.

Dead On Arrival.

Dear Christopher,

From the moment your coalition arrangement was announced, the vain hopes of many were dashed that the man who said so little of substance on the campaign trail would miraculously transform into a leader of people. Even some who voted for you have begun asking – Where’s the Beef?

Clara Peller Asking Famous Question

Remember those coalition negotiations? You should’ve told Seymour his bill about diluting the Treaty was off the table and thrown it, and possibly him, out the window.

It would be unacceptable to so many, which is fine and dandy for David operating on the fringes, but you’re in the middle; it just wasn’t something you could support.

No way in hell could you, as the would-be leader of our country, put Aotearoa through months of soul-searching just so you could be the Prime Minister. “For goodness sake David what sort of snivelling, unprincipled gimp do you think I am?” that’s what you should’ve said.

Image: BeFunky.

It’s not like you weren’t already planning to dial back funding on all things Māori. As we’ve seen, you could happily neuter the Waitangi Tribunal, so there was nothing to worry about. Just replace the people who care and are well-informed with others who have no interest in ensuring the Crown meets its obligations.

You could’ve ruled out that bill if you had convictions – and I don’t mean the sort that ACT are fine with.

You know, the ones received by people with power, which are kept silent. Not the fully publicised punishments handed out to those on struggle street.

Christopher, do you really want a Deputy PM who has been standing up for a bloke who either got away with murder or, best case, is a whore mongering, P head that drove his wife to suicide?

It’s a bad joke. Why don’t you pony up a pair and go to the polls rather than subject the people you lead to that?

Surely you could’ve given Seymour something else, anything but that bloody bill?

You could’ve let David flog off state houses to private investors and property developers, turfing the tenants out without even bothering to count them.

Or was he too smart for that? He’d know that was a given; it’s what your party always does, regardless of the need for housing.

People are homeless, and Chris Bishop is selling state houses? What is wrong with this equation?

I guess the problem with yourselves and ACT both subscribing to the same agenda of underfunding and privatisation is that you felt you had to give something else away.

But building a coalition should’ve been about finding common ground. You know, like your shared hatred of environmental protections or general disinterest in climate change action. Couldn’t the three of you agree to do the things that you agreed on and forget the wackier ideas whose time has yet to come?

Some things are better left to the future, you know. Like announcing that your President is a paedophile when there is an election coming. Ask your wee mate David if you’re unsure of the reference; he’ll know.

You could’ve all played so nicely together, popping along to mine openings for a lovely little photo op. You know how you adore those.

Image: BeFunky.

But it’s not great leadership, though, is it Christopher? Opening up mines that many Kiwis don’t want. It seems like a step backwards, which isn’t usually the direction associated with successful leadership.

All the coalition parties had anti-Māori policies, that was clear during the campaign, but two of you weren’t looking to re-write the Treaty. Or so you say, and therein lies the rub, Christopher – people don’t take you at your word.

It’s all “trust us, we’re only going to support it on the first reading”, but what happens if ACT start to go up in the polls and you go down?

You’re just going to do the right thing? I imagine you might have a wee moral dilemma, which is not something Aotearoa wants – to be relying on your conscience.

If you opposed the bill and were never going to support it, then don’t open the door for Seymour – because who knows what’ll happen. Honestly, I can’t see how you thought it would play out; the best case is that he steals your votes and leaves you flaccid in front of your supporters.

Monkey see, John Key do.

With a role model of John “Aw, shucks, I don’t recall, and nobody cares” Key, it’s perhaps understandable that you don’t know what leadership looks like.

Maybe take a look at this photo of Chlöe, Marama, and Carmel – that’s it, Mr Luxon. Good lord, man, even Gerry looked more like a leader than you over Waitangi.

Image of leaders at Waitangi, does not contain Christopher Luxon, because he wasn't there.
Where’s Christopher? Not at Waitangi. https://www.facebook.com/nzgreenparty/photos_by

If that last bit about Brownlee stung – I hate to say it because it seems so absurd, but even Tama Potaka looked more like a leader than you. Are you hearing this, Christopher? It’s hard to imagine anyone having less mana than him.

I asked my friends: If Christopher Luxon wanted to become a real leader, what’s one thing he ought to do differently? They’ve provided some advice – free of charge.

Quite a few thought you should start by sacking people. Get your Trump on, and start saying, “You’re fired!” C’mon, you know you want to. The diet of civil servants must be getting dull, and people think the following folks should be stopped before they cause more damage.

Seymour, obviously. I know you’re about to promote him to deputy; instead, why not lock him in a room with Judith, tell them it’s a bare-fisted brawl for the role, and see who emerges the victor? I’m sure you’re not squeamish about any international treaties or such; your silence on Gaza would attest to that.

They also thought you should sack Nicola for ram-raiding the economy with austerity, that loser of a lush, Andrew Bayly for being a right plonker, the Kookie Koros of NZ First for well, Jesus, where do you even begin? And um… yourself.

That last one’s tough to hear, I imagine. People just felt you’d be happier in the US; it seems like that’s where your heart is. At least that was their best guess, location-wise.

So get to sacking, Christopher, and maybe one day they’ll build a statue in your honour. Put your hand down; we both know you’re just the guy to cut the ribbon.

Image: Hotpot AI

People suggested brains, a heart, and some courage might help. As Todd said – Follow the yellow brick road. Give it some thought. I know how much you like a road. Someone else recommended a soul, but there was no suggestion as to whose you might acquire.

Angela posted one of those motivational messages that I imagine you like, although this one meant something. It said, “A strong leader accepts blame and gives credit. A weak leader gives blame and accepts credit.”

Something to ponder. I must say I’ve noticed you’re quite keen on credit claiming and lightning fast when it comes to blaming. It’s probably just a coincidence.

My mate Simon was a little more cruel than kind; honestly, he can be that way, but he has the country’s best interests at heart. His advice was, “Come to the realisation that you’re too thick, too weak, and lack the required integrity, resign and call a snap election.”

It might be harsh, but it seems sound.

To be honest, many people said that simply answering questions and not babbling meaningless buzzwords would be a start. You could start by never saying “what I would say to you” again and just saying whatever it is.

Kristen said, “Knowingly doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result makes you an idiot. Therefore, either admit what you’re doing will hurt the bottom feeders or do something different.”

Finally, Peter’s one-word suggestion seems kinda obvious, but I reckon he might be on to something. It’s worth a try anyway. Oh yeah, the word is – “lead

Image: Hotpot AI.

What do you reckon? Maybe give it a go in the second half, eh Christopher?

Good luck,
Nick.

P.S. I think you should listen to Simon and call a snap election – just imagine the look of surprise from your team.


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To end, a really nice cover of D.O.A. by the Foo Fighters. Have a good one all you lovely people, enjoy that funny American game if you’re watching it, and wear the lotion if you’re in the sunshine. I’m off to see my folks for a belated birthday catch-up, Dad turned 86 on Waitangi Day.

https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/znBvm6V2Y5M

31 comments on “Leadership D.O.A. ”

  1. Tony Veitch 1

    None of the above advice will register with our shallow, narcissistic sociopath of a 'leader!'

  2. Patricia Bremner 2

    First, "Many Happy Returns" to your Dad from the Bremners.

    This is a fraught topic. A slow realisation by many that "Lux" Luxon really is for the rich, and does not believe the poor or even middle class should own anything bought with their taxes they pay. Lux believes it is better owned and run by his pals.

    How do I arrive at that idea?

    The involvement of Bill English as a one man band review of Kainga Ora.

    The replacement of professors by buddies on the Waitangi Tribunal.

    The demotion of two well ranked and educated Maori in Health to be replaced by buddies.

    The heavy reduction of employees in the Public Services. 12000+
    None of this was listed in the pre election blurb. Just a hard sell of Tax Cuts.

    On and on it goes.

    Now a week each year is long enough for their well heeled friends to get residency in NZ .

    It is hard for them and Lux to convince us this is for us.

    So much appears to work for them. Name suppression, letters from MPs, Special conditions, and open talk of more sanctions for those who are the fall out of austerity

    The term Leader? Not earned by him at all.

    It would be great to have a snap election, as I think many are now ruing their choice last time.

    • Anne 2.1

      Great response Patricia. Nick Rockel is a treasure. He seems to have the knack of articulating so fluently what most of us are thinking. No disrespect to our mickysavage who is also a fluent writer – although his typos are often amusing. 😉

      I recall the 90s so vividly. First they threw so many of us out of a job. Then they dumped on us when we were forced on to benefits. I still shudder with anger over the way I was treated by one particular case officer. She was a copy-cat Christine Rankin in short skirts and skimpy jackets with dangly ear-rings, and did she love to lord it over us beneficiaries whom she believed were inferior to herself. I hope she was one of those Helen Clark had removed along with Rankin in 1999.

  3. Ffloyd 3

    Shallow, wet, slimey, slippery scum. ……. . Puddles Luxon. A vain, vapid vacuous man impersonating a Prime Minister.

  4. Ffloyd 4

    Shallow, wet, slimey, slippery scum. ……. . Puddles Luxon. A vain, vapid vacuous man impersonating a Prime Minister.

    • tc 4.1

      Exactly who the hollowmen want…..a useful tool with zero empathy to execute the plan.

      Working fine so far

  5. Phillip ure 5

    Not much to argue against…in that post..

    The man is a total non-event as a p.m..

    And Seymour is eating his lunch..each and every day..

    As peters impotently froths away on the sideline..

    A coherent gummint it ain't ..

  6. Populuxe 6

    Yes, but tell us something we don't know.

    • Patricia Bremner 6.1

      Oh Populuxe, did you know in advance all the terrible decisions and actions?

      • Ad 6.1.1

        Their manifesto was clear.

        • Patricia Bremner 6.1.1.1

          Show us where it said "We will sack 12000 Public Servants, and stop building in its tracks.

          We will not listen to anyone we disagree with and we intend to have 5.1% unemployed.

          We intend to take all references to Maori out of all documents, and replace excellence with our buddies.

          We are for mining oil tobacco roads and the rich.

          We intend to run the Public Health system down to the bare bones using Lester Levey.

          We intend to let Act bring in several divisive bills.''

          Oh and run the tax promises by us again. They ended up murky.

          Plus did you see what Willis proposed on her one sheet of paper?

          Really Ad, you know most of the bad stuff was what Luxon had to give way on to get the title. Just a great pity he does not know how to be a Leader, and the other two are "Running rings round him".
          If he was a real Leader and negotiator, many aspects would have been less cruel, but guess what, he is in it for him, not us.

          • Ad 6.1.1.1.1

            Willis was called out on her tax cut impact well in advance.

            Also the anti-Maori policies were well and truly underlined.

            Not saying I like any of it, but they are being completely true to form.

            • aj 6.1.1.1.1.1

              Agreed. No-one thought they would go through with the tax cuts, given the likely consequences, but never underestimate the stupidity and self-interest on the right of politics.

      • Populuxe 6.1.2

        Hmmm, let's see. ACT and post-Tracey Martin NZ First are nightmarish horror pigs. National is a right-wing privatising clown car. Luxon makes Key look like a genius of statecraft. I read the policy manifestos. So yes, I did know in advance most of the terrible decisions and actions.

        • Patricia Bremner 6.1.2.1

          I agree and I sounded alarms, but not all information was in plain language or appeared till after negotiations were over. Privitisation and wealth before all else.

  7. gsays 7

    I can't help but see Leigh Hart in those pictures.

    I would have him as PM any day over this clown.

  8. Ad 8

    There is nothing Luxon can do now to turn it around. Not a thing.

    Neither the local nor the international trading economy will help him in the next 18 months.

    Looking forward to seeing National back to Bill English 2017 levels.

    • Michael Scott 8.1

      Big popular policies can help. Kiwibuild was hugely popular when announced and if it had succeeded would have prevented our young people to becoming disenfranchised and unable to realistically save a deposit for a house.

      If they can't find something like Kiwibuild the only other option is the economy beginning to fire. Which if Ad is correct sounds unlikely.

      • Ad 8.1.1

        All of their 127 legislated Fast Track projects will struggle to generate a single ribbon cutting before they get to election day.

      • KJT 8.1.2

        Never rated Kiwi build. A particularly Neo-Liberal compromise.

        State House building, in numbers, which the Coalition of Cockups has effectively canned, would have both kept landlords honest and put much needed downwards pressure on house scalping.

        • Michael Scott 8.1.2.1

          KJT we don't want more people renting – we need more people OWNING homes.

          Kiwibuild got the low hanging fruit – the middleclass first home buyers into homes.

          And then we wanted to give the opportunity for the children of beneficiaries and those with little opportunity owning their own homes.

          The advantages of owning are myriad.

          • KJT 8.1.2.1.1

            I think you missed the point.

            Undercutting landlords with State housing. Means that houses get cheaper.

            Ergo. More home ownership.

            By all means, have rent to own available for State houses.

  9. gsays 9

    Make the most of being able to call him names.

    Post next election it will be Sir Christopher Luxon.

  10. feijoa 10

    Personally, I don't think Luxon is a weak man, manipulated by Seymour.

    I think he believes exactly what Seymour believes, he's a fascist libertarian mate of the oligarchs just as much as Seymour, but he is just very bad at acting prime ministerial.

    And I think we can all see – it is really just an act.

    • tc 10.1

      +100 he doesn't care how he is perceived.

      He is there to do a job, get the entitlements (less tax is a bonus) then F off like Key sinecures in hand.

  11. observer 11

    Bad poll for Luxon out today (TPU/Curia) and another one out today at 6 pm (TVNZ).

    Willis and Bishop will be sharpening their knives …

    • bwaghorn 11.1

      Willis the invisible?! Starting to wonder if she isn't on todd muller type gardening leave on the quite.!

  12. Spillage 12

    What have we seen from our PM

    Austerity, blame massive tax breaks for the new power brokers the landlords who btw produce nothing but profit off immigration for their designs on nz future at the expense of precious land that should never be in housing

    The knee capping of a health system in dire need of help once again like in 2008 but now a weapon to bring in privatization of the health system by gutting 2 billion rather than adding it to avoid the chronic mess that big pharma the WHO and its principal financial manipulator uno who inflict on us as they roam the globe on WEF crusade to depopulate the world

    Then there's our critical piece of infrastructure the ferries and the mess theyve made of that with no real solution to their future

    But oh we can afford what exactly yes nothing because this govt hasnt a clue on how to manage the economy

    Just do as they are directed by CFR