web analytics

Lee eyeing up Wigram?

Written By: - Date published: 11:21 am, April 21st, 2010 - 18 comments
Categories: labour, progressives, Satire - Tags: , , ,

Odds are good Jim Anderton is standing for mayor of Christchurch. Should work out well for Labour/Progressive. The by-election will be a chance to rev up the machine again. Show it works.

Labour plus Progressive had over 20,000 candidate votes last time. Should be pretty safe. Chance to get a good candidate in too.

If Anderton goes, he’ll will step down in October or before it. Gives Progressives and Labour time to join up. Combine their assets, activists, and systems well before the general election.

But it looks like Labour isn’t the only one seeing an opportunity:

Press release: Lee keen to stand in Wigram

National List MP Melissa Lee today threw her hat into the ring for the possible Wigram by-election.

“If Jim Anderton does stand down from his seat to contest for the Christchurch mayoralty, I’m keen to be National’s candidate in the resulting by-election for the Wigram electorate” said Ms Lee

“I have unparalleled experience in National at fighting by-elections, especially in what used to be seen as Leftwing strongholds”

“People thought, for instance, that no-one could match the popularity that Helen Clark used to enjoy in Mt Albert but I proved them wrong. With my help David Shearer surpassed Clark’s share of the vote! I believe I can make a similar contribution in Wigram”

Ms Lee continued “Of course, there are lessons that I can bring forward from the Mt Albert campaign but they will need some adapting to local circumstances. For instance, the Government has plans for several major motorway projects in and around Wigram. Whereas in Auckland I suggested the Waterview motorway would send criminals from South Auckland zooming through Mt Albert to steal from other suburbs, in Wigram I will tell them the motorway projects will help to divert boy racers to Ilam. And rather than accidentally reveal my anti-Maori racism, in Wigram I will make some inappropriate remarks about Asians – except Koreans, of course, ha ha!”

With the support of my party, Jonathan Coleman’s able campaign management, and a few more dollars from NZ on Air for my production company, I’m sure I will be as successful in Wigram as I was in Mt Albert, if not even more so”

No word yet on whether Jon Boscawen might reprise his role an run as ACT’s candidate. At press time, he was still insisting that if he could just prove that the temperature recalibrations when the Karori weather gauge was moved were fudged then the whole climate change conspiracy would collapse. He also refused to acknowledge the presence of a lamington on his head. Proving a man can be blind to two undeniable things at the same time.

18 comments on “Lee eyeing up Wigram? ”

  1. toad 1


    Very good, Z.

  2. lprent 2

    Oh that is funny…

  3. Lew 3

    Unparallelled experience indeed.


  4. Tigger 5

    Great satire, thought it was real until para 4. Brilliant.

  5. Jim Nald 6

    For a second, I thought that was a real press release!

    My Asian friends and colleagues reckon Lee might be an ok broadcaster but she is really awful as a politician. Such an embarrassment.

    Some people make a devastatingly bad career change from public communication to politics and she is a clear example in point. Ughhh.

  6. Ianmac 7

    What a hoot.
    “Jim. Jim. Don’t leave us please Jim.”
    Actually Jim becoming Mayor in Christchurch would be a great step forward. He says what he thinks and thinks what he says. I imagine that he would deal to the disgraceful usurping of water rights. National would get the pip and send in the big guns. Yes. Melissa Lee! You’re on now!

  7. tc 8

    Excellent……. and it may not deviate too far from reality as it unfolds…all hail the prophet Z

  8. Bored 9

    They say you cant keep a good man down but a bad girl is up for anything…..

  9. Trevor Mallard 10

    + Dr Norman?

    • toad 10.1

      Oh, don’t go there Trevor. With all we are facing from the NACT brigade, the last thing we want is a Labour-Greens spat over strategy and tactics.

      If you want to challenge the Greens, do it on policy.

      Russel standing in Mount Albert did a lot to enhance the public awareness of him as the relatively new Co-Leader of the Greens. That was all it was about, and the Greens would never have agreed to it if they ever thought it could result in National taking the seat.

      • felix 10.1.1

        With all we are facing from the NACT brigade

        But I thought they were your fwends. Did they unfwend you?

  10. illuminatedtiger 11

    If she stood and she was the only candidate I’m sure she’d still find a way to fuck it up.

  11. Cameron 12

    Haha I though this was for real until I got part way through it.

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • Major redevelopment of Wainuiomata High School underway
    Work begins today at Wainuiomata High School to ensure buildings and teaching spaces are fit for purpose, Education Minister Chris Hipkins says. The Minister joined principal Janette Melrose and board chair Lynda Koia to kick off demolition for the project, which is worth close to $40 million, as the site ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 hour ago
  • New expert group appointed to advise Government on Oranga Tamariki
    A skilled and experienced group of people have been named as the newly established Oranga Tamariki Ministerial Advisory Board by Children’s Minister Kelvin Davis today. The Board will provide independent advice and assurance to the Minister for Children across three key areas of Oranga Tamariki: relationships with families, whānau, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 hours ago
  • COVID-19 vaccine slated for possible approval next week
    The green light for New Zealand’s first COVID-19 vaccine could be granted in just over a week, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said today. “We’re making swift progress towards vaccinating New Zealanders against the virus, but we’re also absolutely committed to ensuring the vaccines are safe and effective,” Jacinda Ardern said. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    18 hours ago
  • New ACC Board members announced.
    The Minister for ACC is pleased to announce the appointment of three new members to join the Board of ACC on 1 February 2021. “All three bring diverse skills and experience to provide strong governance oversight to lead the direction of ACC” said Hon Carmel Sepuloni. Bella Takiari-Brame from Hamilton ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    21 hours ago
  • Economic boost for Southland marae
    The Government is investing $9 million to upgrade a significant community facility in Invercargill, creating economic stimulus and jobs, Infrastructure Minister Grant Robertson and Te Tai Tonga MP Rino Tirikatene have announced.  The grant for Waihōpai Rūnaka Inc to make improvements to Murihiku Marae comes from the $3 billion set ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Celebrating the Entry Into Force of the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons
    [Opening comments, welcome and thank you to Auckland University etc] It is a great pleasure to be here this afternoon to celebrate such an historic occasion - the entry into force of the Treaty on the Prohibition of Nuclear Weapons. This is a moment many feared would never come, but ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Supporting disabled people to stay connected
    The Government is providing $3 million in one-off seed funding to help disabled people around New Zealand stay connected and access support in their communities, Minister for Disability Issues, Carmel Sepuloni announced today. The funding will allow disability service providers to develop digital and community-based solutions over the next two ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Voluntary saliva testing offered to quarantine workers from Monday
    Border workers in quarantine facilities will be offered voluntary daily COVID-19 saliva tests in addition to their regular weekly testing, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. This additional option will be rolled out at the Jet Park Quarantine facility in Auckland starting on Monday 25 January, and then to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Next steps in firearms buy-back
    The next steps in the Government’s ambitious firearms reform programme to include a three-month buy-back have been announced by Police Minister Poto Williams today.  “The last buy-back and amnesty was unprecedented for New Zealand and was successful in collecting 60,297 firearms, modifying a further 5,630 firearms, and collecting 299,837 prohibited ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Jobs for Nature projects target iconic ecosystems
    Upscaling work already underway to restore two iconic ecosystems will deliver jobs and a lasting legacy, Conservation Minister Kiri Allan says.  “The Jobs for Nature programme provides $1.25 billion over four years to offer employment opportunities for people whose livelihoods have been impacted by the COVID-19 recession. “Two new projects ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • New Public Housing Plan announced
    The Government has released its Public Housing Plan 2021-2024 which outlines the intention of where 8,000 additional public and transitional housing places announced in Budget 2020, will go. “The Government is committed to continuing its public house build programme at pace and scale. The extra 8,000 homes – 6000 public ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Prime Minister congratulates President Joe Biden on his inauguration
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has congratulated President Joe Biden on his inauguration as the 46th President of the United States of America. “I look forward to building a close relationship with President Biden and working with him on issues that matter to both our countries,” Jacinda Ardern said. “New Zealand ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Jobs for Nature funding will create training and employment opportunities
    A major investment to tackle wilding pines in Mt Richmond will create jobs and help protect the area’s unique ecosystems, Biosecurity Minister Damien O’Connor says. The Mt Richmond Forest Park has unique ecosystems developed on mineral-rich geology, including taonga plant species found nowhere else in the country. “These special plant ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Pre-departure testing extended to all passengers to New Zealand
    To further protect New Zealand from COVID-19, the Government is extending pre-departure testing to all passengers to New Zealand except from Australia, Antarctica and most Pacific Islands, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “The change will come into force for all flights arriving in New Zealand after 11:59pm (NZT) on Monday ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Bay Cadets learn skills to protect environment
    Bay Conservation Cadets launched with first intake Supported with $3.5 million grant Part of $1.245b Jobs for Nature programme to accelerate recover from Covid Cadets will learn skills to protect and enhance environment Environment Minister David Parker today welcomed the first intake of cadets at the launch of the Bay ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Cook Islanders to resume travel to New Zealand
    The Prime Minister of New Zealand Jacinda Ardern and the Prime Minister of the Cook Islands Mark Brown have announced passengers from the Cook Islands can resume quarantine-free travel into New Zealand from 21 January, enabling access to essential services such as health. “Following confirmation of the Cook Islands’ COVID ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Supporting communities and landowners to grow employment opportunities
    Jobs for Nature funding is being made available to conservation groups and landowners to employ staff and contractors in a move aimed at boosting local biodiversity-focused projects, Conservation Minister Kiritapu Allan has announced. It is estimated some 400-plus jobs will be created with employment opportunities in ecology, restoration, trapping, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Border exception for some returning international tertiary students
    The Government has approved an exception class for 1000 international tertiary students, degree level and above, who began their study in New Zealand but were caught offshore when border restrictions began. The exception will allow students to return to New Zealand in stages from April 2021. “Our top priority continues ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Tiwai deal gives time for managed transition
    Today’s deal between Meridian and Rio Tinto for the Tiwai smelter to remain open another four years provides time for a managed transition for Southland. “The deal provides welcome certainty to the Southland community by protecting jobs and incomes as the region plans for the future. The Government is committed ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New member for APEC Business Advisory Council
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has appointed Anna Curzon to the APEC Business Advisory Council (ABAC). The leader of each APEC economy appoints three private sector representatives to ABAC. ABAC provides advice to leaders annually on business priorities. “ABAC helps ensure that APEC’s work programme is informed by business community perspectives ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Govt’s careful economic management recognised
    The Government’s prudent fiscal management and strong policy programme in the face of the COVID-19 global pandemic have been acknowledged by the credit rating agency Fitch. Fitch has today affirmed New Zealand’s local currency rating at AA+ with a stable outlook and foreign currency rating at AA with a positive ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Additional actions to keep COVID-19 out of NZ
    The Government is putting in place a suite of additional actions to protect New Zealand from COVID-19, including new emerging variants, COVID-19 Response Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “Given the high rates of infection in many countries and evidence of the global spread of more transmissible variants, it’s clear that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • 19 projects will clean up and protect waterways
    $36 million of Government funding alongside councils and others for 19 projects Investment will clean up and protect waterways and create local jobs Boots on the ground expected in Q2 of 2021 Funding part of the Jobs for Nature policy package A package of 19 projects will help clean up ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago
  • New Zealand Government acknowledges 175th anniversary of Battle of Ruapekapeka
    The commemoration of the 175th anniversary of the Battle of Ruapekapeka represents an opportunity for all New Zealanders to reflect on the role these conflicts have had in creating our modern nation, says Associate Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage Kiri Allan. “The Battle at Te Ruapekapeka Pā, which took ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 weeks ago