MAFS National Style*

Written By: - Date published: 10:32 am, March 3rd, 2019 - 61 comments
Categories: capital gains, Deep stuff, election 2020, kiwisaver, MMP, Politics, same old national, superannuation, tax - Tags: , , , , , , ,

You know love (or lust) at first sight? Forget about that (for) now; if you’re well matched then get married instantly and eternal bliss awaits you until death does you part. Of course, National would never contemplate MAFS; they would insist on a 90-day trial period with no certainty or firm prospects. Nothing personal, strictly business.

National has found a new love match in the form of the Sustainable New Zealand Party and although they play coy about their intentions, expert observers can see that the dating ritual is already in full swing.

I think the idea of a party in the middle that wasn’t about all the left-wing stuff, if you like, but was about the environment and doing something with that, could be quite powerful.

Yeah, that was a quote from Simon Bridges, in case you wondered – almost coherent. I do wonder what he means by “all the left-wing stuff” but I assume he means something like beating up a wee old retired KiwiSaver (don’t tell Winston and coincidentally Michael Cullen was one of the architects of KiwiSaver and also happens to be the chair of the ‘CGT mob’) in a dark alley, kicking them while they’re down on the ground, and then stealing their hard-earned cash. You know that kinda stuff all lefties are really good at and love doing especially to vulnerable and defenceless victims.

National has been on the prowl for a good nine years to find a potential match in a mate (soul mate or fuck-buddy?) who also is “about the environment” and “doing something with that” together with National. The long  frustrating search is over! They have finally found each other and one can only wonder why it has taken this long; necessity is the mother of invention …

National’s new mate is the antithesis to eco-socialists (AKA the Greens) and on the blue-green label it says eco-liberals and on the sticky side it reads eco-Tories. They are a faith-based group in that they firmly believe that the business sector will be our saviour and free us from pesky problems such as climate change by unleashing “creativity and innovation” upon the Kiwi way of life. Ocean levels might be rising be several meters but there will not be another biblical flood wiping humanity off the face of the Earth thanks to good old Kiwi ingenuity! We are on the cusp of something special! The first part of this miracle will be acquiring 10% of the vote. Piece of piss; hundreds of eco-Tories are ready to register and write NZ history in 2020. I do hope I’ll be around to see them bear witness to this.

National has found its eco-liberal credentials in trying to get people out of cheap Japanese imports and gas-guzzling SUVs into EVs. What’s more, National is also showing the benefits of STEM subjects at school as it has deduced (without Steven Joyce, may I add, but Gerry Brownlee did check the calculations himself) that the shortest distance between Parnell and Omaha is a straight four-lane “pretty green” highway (Eureka!). Their logic is impeccable and so morally compelling that words fail to do justice to it and all I could think of was “We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy! We’re scum! We suck!” Build it and they will come, but not if it’s a Waterview tunnel or a City Rail Link, obviously.

National should stop beating around the bush and jump into bed, in a straight line, to confirm what we already know, which is that they will do an Epsom-style deal with their newly found mate in order to get those dirty rotten eco-socialists out of government in 2020. Right now, National’s fake shyness is more cringing than watching MAFS.

*Not a new K-pop single by Psy

61 comments on “MAFS National Style* ”

  1. Gabby 1

    MAFS stands for something that the cool kids know about does it?

    • lprent 1.1

      I believe that you have to watch ‘free’ to air tv. I think that it stands for something like “Married At 1st Fuck” or possibly “Married At First Sight”.

      I failed to connect our TV to an aerial back in 2012 when I moved and only connected it to the much cleaner net.

      So the only thing I know about this is from reading breathless PR puff ‘articles’ in the NZ Herald. I believe from the excerpts that it has something to with non explicit sex and extremely poorly scripted melodrama. Basically a badly scripted daytime soap disguised as a ‘reality’ show. Part of the general trend to poor quality fantasy.

      The comparison to National PR fantasies I leave to other readers… But think of Brownlee’s ability with numbers.

    • left_forward 1.2

      I don’t watch this kind of telly either, but it pretty much becomes clear when you read Incog’s piece Gabby, and if you still can’t work it out, never mind, you just missed the joke.

  2. Incognito 2

    The MMP system was “rightly representative” but there was room for improvement to ensure the best democratic system possible and fair access, Ghahraman said.

    https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/politics/110934374/greens-want-prisoners-voting-ban-overturned-to-strengthen-democracy [not just about the voting rights of prisoners]

  3. Gabby 3

    Well Ghahraman probably knows what MAFS stands for.

  4. NZJester 4

    The party is just a puppet party set up in backroom deals with National and I wonder how many of the 500 paid party member names needed to register it are people sent over by National to prop up the numbers needed?

    • Incognito 4.1

      The threshold for registration is so low it means nothing. They’re aiming for 10% of the vote, which is a few more than 500. Of course, they’d only (!) need 5% or one of those teapot deals …

      Until these inconsistencies are sorted, any talk of maintaining proportionality in Parliament is a moot point. This may be another reason why JLR is still an MP; the hypocrisy would go off the charts, even for National and that’s saying something.

    • Anne 4.2

      …how many of the 500 paid party member names needed to register it are people sent over by National to prop up the numbers needed?

      The most likely ‘volunteers’ will be the off-spring of National Party members.

      In the 1970s a person only had to purchase a raffle ticket from a National Party stall at a local community function and they would end up on the membership list. They had the largest membership of any political party in NZ. Yeah… and a third of them didn’t even know they were members.

      They wouldn’t get away with it now.

  5. A 5

    Seems like Act, II.

  6. Jenny - How to get there? 6

    What I find remarkable about all this, is that the Green Party are still in indulging in the fantasy of “Good Faith Negotiations” with these back stabbers.

    While the Nats are attacking them at every opportunity.

    The Green Party seem dead set trying to prove the maxim “Good guys finish last”.

    • NZJester 6.1

      SNZ would love nothing more than to hinder a lot of the rebuilding of the damage inflicted on this country by Neoliberals. Their idea for environmental protection is likely to be to open up some of the National Parks to mining and exploration to fund other environmental projects because that is what the market forces want.

    • KJT 6.2

      If we have to join the National party, in lying and cheating our way into power.

      Is that actually, a win?

  7. Ad 7

    They only have to take 2% tops to kill off the Green Party.

    Don’t write them off.

    • RedLogix 7.1

      Combine that with TOP probably skimming another 1-2%. Or more if the two decide they have enough in common to make it worth combining.

      (Incidentally TOP does have around 4000 registered members and it will be interesting to see how far Simmons can make it go.)

      • Ad 7.1.1

        Sustainable New Zealand is a true voter catfish op.

        They are set up as the Green Party Kill Machine.

        Sure ain’t looking like the Greens have any charisma in the bank to make them peak to finish-tape like NZF has.

        At least Sage has finally brought home some bacon for DoC in Budget 2019 though.
        Gotta give them that.

        • Graeme 7.1.1.1

          “They are set up as the Green Party Kill Machine.”

          Well that may be the intent, but where will they actually pull their votes from?

          Socially focused Green voters, rather unlikely, and that group would be most Green voters.

          Market focused Green voters? Is that actually a thing?

          Or environmentally conscious / compromised National voters? From nat voters I associate with I know a couple who fall into this group, aren’t happy with the environment getting fucked over, but quite happy to fuck over someone “below” them to make a buck.

          Can see National shooting themselves in the foot with this caper, and it quietly disappearing after a couple of polls show not net gain, or net loss to the nat based group.

        • Stuart Munro 7.1.1.2

          Which party has the most educated voters?

          Sure the Gnats think they can sell green voters a pup – but they stand as much chance of doing that as said Greens have of selling agricultural machinery to the Southland agrimafia.

          It’s a lovely narrative, that strokes the egos of the Gnats and Vernon Tava, but its chances of resonating with environmentally conscious folk is slimmer than John Key’s chances of redemption.

    • They only have to take 2% tops to kill off the Green Party.

      Only if a substantial proportion of those votes come from the Greens’ core support, which is laughably unlikely.

  8. Ankerrawshark 8

    Whose paying their campaign manager?

  9. KJT 9

    Couple of good thought provoking articles. Incognito.

    • Incognito 9.1

      Mission accomplished, ta.

      I’m very happy with the quality and tone of the comments even when they are disagreeable. People do actually read what others write and respond accordingly and appropriately. Some threads go a wee bit off-topic but that’s o.k. with me. Not once did I come close to moderating 🙂

  10. BM 10

    I’d party vote for the Sustainable party.

    If we’re going to go Green I’d rather have someone like Tava helping make the important decisions than fucktards like Shaw, Davidson and the Iranian weirdo.

    • Sam 10.1

      Yup, and I’d love it if you are front and centre promoting your Sustainable Party. Winning ne.

      • BM 10.1.1

        I don’t have a party, I vote for whoever I think can do the best for NZ.

        That is currently National, but I do like what Tava has to say and reading the smoke signals, we’re heading along a defined UN pathway, who we elect will have little bearing that.

        I think Tava and National is the best bet as we move towards a one world government, labour would sell our sovereignty in a heartbeat National not so much

        • Sam 10.1.1.1

          I think the Sustainable Party needs more supporters just like you. Can get you a members form?

        • woodart 10.1.1.2

          nats sell safe seats for a hundred grand in a paper bag. you dont have a party bm, because nobody invites you(no surprises there)

    • Muttonbird 10.2

      Oh dear. Lots of commenters today were trying really hard promote the concept of civilised debate. A contest of ideas, and not a forum for personal attack.

      Then you came along and shat the bed, as usual.

      • RedLogix 10.2.1

        Sighs … BM may never be reliably house trained. 🙂

      • James 10.2.2

        The irony of that coming from you.

        Regardless the great thing is that the sustainable party only needs to drop the green vote a couple of percent and they are gone burger.

        • Sam 10.2.2.1

          Politicians act as if every decision is there last. That is the nature of 3 year election cycles.

        • Gabby 10.2.2.2

          2 out of 5 is 40% jimbo. Your joycematics is strong today.

    • Fireblade 10.3

      Would you really vote for that fucktard Australian weirdo Tava?

    • Incognito 10.4

      If we’re going to go Green I’d rather have someone like Tava helping make the important decisions than people like Shaw, Davidson and the Iranian MP.

      FIFY.

      Can you please make your argument without the personal insults? There are many ways to show that you don’t think highly of certain people but this is not one I’d encourage you to use here. Thanks.

    • If we’re going to go Green…

      There’s Tava’s problem right there. “If” voters like you were to go green – thing is, you’re not.

    • KJT 10.6

      If you vote for Tava, It will not be going Green.

    • left_forward 10.7

      Brilliant, a loyal supporter abandons the gNats!

  11. patricia bremner 11

    They say Green, but they really mean blue. You know, one of the cheap dyes that come out in the first wash.

    • Incognito 11.1

      Funny thing is that other items in the same wash usually come out with a green hue.

  12. Chris T 12

    “I do wonder what he means by “all the left-wing stuff””

    Would imagine he meant not condoning benefit fraud and worrying about the environment more than making weed legal.

  13. Michelle 13

    I wouldn’t bother talking about tava he wont be going anywhere NZers aren’t that dumb and he wont be getting enough votes to go anywhere. Act may also be gone hooray!

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    Buzz from the Beehive The new government was being  sworn in, at time of writing , and when Point of Order checked the Beehive website for the latest ministerial statements and re-visit some of the old ones we drew a blank. We found ….  Nowt. Nothing. Zilch. Not a ...
    Point of OrderBy Bob Edlin
    4 days ago
  • MICHAEL BASSETT: A new Ministry – at last
    Michael Bassett writes – Like most people, I was getting heartily sick of all the time being wasted over the coalition negotiations. During the first three weeks Winston grinned like a Cheshire cat, certain he’d be needed; Chris Luxon wasted time in lifting the phone to Winston ...
    Point of OrderBy poonzteam5443
    4 days ago
  • Luxon's Breakfast.
    The Prime Minister elect had his silver fern badge on. He wore it to remind viewers he was supporting New Zealand, that was his team. Despite the fact it made him look like a concierge, or a welcomer in a Koru lounge. Anna Burns-Francis, the Breakfast presenter, asked if he ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    4 days ago
  • LINDSAY MITCHELL:  Oranga Tamariki faces major upheaval under coalition agreement
     Lindsay Mitchell writes – A hugely significant gain for ACT is somewhat camouflaged by legislative jargon. Under the heading ‘Oranga Tamariki’ ACT’s coalition agreement contains the following item:   Remove Section 7AA from the Oranga Tamariki Act 1989 According to Oranga Tamariki:     “Section ...
    Point of OrderBy poonzteam5443
    4 days ago
  • BRIAN EASTON:  Peters as Minister
    A previous column looked at Winston Peters biographically. This one takes a closer look at his record as a minister, especially his policy record. Brian Easton writes – 1990-1991: Minister of Māori Affairs. Few remember Ka Awatea as a major document on the future of Māori policy; there is ...
    Point of OrderBy poonzteam5443
    4 days ago
  • Cathrine Dyer's guide to watching COP 28 from the bottom of a warming planet
    Is COP28 largely smoke and mirrors and a plan so cunning, you could pin a tail on it and call it a weasel? Photo: Getty ImagesTL;DR: COP28 kicks off on November 30 and up for negotiation are issues like the role of fossil fuels in the energy transition, contributions to ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    4 days ago
  • Top 10 news links at 10 am for Monday, Nov 27
    PM Elect Christopher Luxon was challenged this morning on whether he would sack Adrian Orr and Andrew Coster.TL;DR: Here’s my pick of top 10 news links elsewhere at 10 am on Monday November 27, including:Signs councils are putting planning and capital spending on hold, given a lack of clear guidance ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    4 days ago
  • Gordon Campbell on the new government’s policies of yesteryear
    This column expands on a Werewolf column published by Scoop on Friday Routinely, Winston Peters is described as the kingmaker who gets to decide when the centre right or the centre-left has a turn at running this country. He also plays a less heralded but equally important role as the ...
    4 days ago
  • The New Government’s Agreements
    Last Friday, almost six weeks after election day, National finally came to an agreement with ACT and NZ First to form a government. They also released the agreements between each party and looking through them, here are the things I thought were the most interesting (and often concerning) from the. ...
    4 days ago
  • How many smokers will die to fund the tax cuts?
    Maori and Pasifika smoking rates are already over twice the ‘all adult’ rate. Now the revenue that generates will be used to fund National’s tax cuts. Photo: Getty ImagesTL;DR: The devil is always in the detail and it emerged over the weekend from the guts of the policy agreements National ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    4 days ago
  • How the culture will change in the Beehive
    Perhaps the biggest change that will come to the Beehive as the new government settles in will be a fundamental culture change. The era of endless consultation will be over. This looks like a government that knows what it wants to do, and that means it knows what outcomes ...
    PolitikBy Richard Harman
    4 days ago
  • No More Winnie Blues.
    So what do you think of the coalition’s decision to cancel Smokefree measures intended to stop young people, including an over representation of Māori, from taking up smoking? Enabling them to use the tax revenue to give other people a tax cut?David Cormack summed it up well:It seems not only ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    5 days ago
  • 2023 SkS Weekly Climate Change & Global Warming News Roundup #47
    A chronological listing of news and opinion articles posted on the Skeptical Science  Facebook Page during the past week: Sun, Nov 19, 2023 thru Sat, Nov 25, 2023.  Story of the Week World stands on frontline of disaster at Cop28, says UN climate chief  Exclusive: Simon Stiell says leaders must ‘stop ...
    5 days ago
  • Some of it is mad, some of it is bad and some of it is clearly the work of people who are dangerous ...
    On announcement morning my mate texted:Typical of this cut-price, fake-deal government to announce itself on Black Friday.What a deal. We lose Kim Hill, we gain an empty, jargonising prime minister, a belligerent conspiracist, and a heartless Ayn Rand fanboy. One door closes, another gets slammed repeatedly in your face.It seems pretty ...
    More Than A FeildingBy David Slack
    5 days ago
  • “Revolution” is the threat as the Māori Party smarts at coalition government’s Treaty directi...
    Buzz from the Beehive Having found no fresh announcements on the government’s official website, Point of Order turned today to Scoop’s Latest Parliament Headlines  for its buzz. This provided us with evidence that the Māori Party has been soured by the the coalition agreement announced yesterday by the new PM. “Soured” ...
    Point of OrderBy Bob Edlin
    6 days ago
  • The Good, the Bad, and the even Worse.
    Yesterday the trio that will lead our country unveiled their vision for New Zealand.Seymour looking surprisingly statesmanlike, refusing to rise to barbs about his previous comments on Winston Peters. Almost as if they had just been slapstick for the crowd.Winston was mostly focussed on settling scores with the media, making ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    6 days ago
  • When it Comes to Palestine – Free Speech is Under Threat
    Hi,Thanks for getting amongst Mister Organ on digital — thanks to you, we hit the #1 doc spot on iTunes this week. This response goes a long way to helping us break even.I feel good about that. Other things — not so much.New Zealand finally has a new government, and ...
    David FarrierBy David Farrier
    6 days ago
  • Thank you Captain Luxon. Was that a landing, or were we shot down?
    Hello! Here comes the Saturday edition of More Than A Feilding, catching you up on the past week’s editions.Also in More Than A FeildingFriday The unboxing And so this is Friday and what have we gone and done to ourselves?In the same way that a Christmas present can look lovely under the ...
    More Than A FeildingBy David Slack
    6 days ago
  • Cans of Worms.
    “And there’ll be no shortage of ‘events’ to test Luxon’s political skills. David Seymour wants a referendum on the Treaty. Winston wants a Royal Commission of Inquiry into Labour’s handling of the Covid crisis. Talk about cans of worms!”LAURIE AND LES were very fond of their local. It was nothing ...
    6 days ago
  • Disinformation campaigns are undermining democracy. Here’s how we can fight back
    This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article. Misinformation is debated everywhere and has justifiably sparked concerns. It can polarise the public, reduce health-protective behaviours such as mask wearing and vaccination, and erode trust in science. Much of misinformation is spread not ...
    6 days ago
  • Peters as Minister
    A previous column looked at Winston Peters biographically. This one takes a closer look at his record as a minister, especially his policy record.1990-1991: Minister of Māori Affairs. Few remember Ka Awatea as a major document on the future of Māori policy; there is not even an entry in Wikipedia. ...
    PunditBy Brian Easton
    7 days ago
  • The New Government: 2023 Edition
    So New Zealand has a brand-spanking new right-wing government. Not just any new government either. A formal majority coalition, of the sort last seen in 1996-1998 (our governmental arrangements for the past quarter of a century have been varying flavours of minority coalition or single-party minority, with great emphasis ...
    7 days ago
  • The unboxing
    And so this is Friday and what have we gone and done to ourselves?In the same way that a Christmas present can look lovely under the tree with its gold ribbon but can turn out to be nothing more than a big box holding a voucher for socks, so it ...
    More Than A FeildingBy David Slack
    7 days ago
  • A cruel, vicious, nasty government
    So, after weeks of negotiations, we finally have a government, with a three-party cabinet and a time-sharing deputy PM arrangement. Newsroom's Marc Daalder has put the various coalition documents online, and I've been reading through them. A few things stand out: Luxon doesn't want to do any work, ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    7 days ago
  • Hurrah – we have a new government (National, ACT and New Zealand First commit “to deliver for al...
    Buzz from the Beehive Sorry, there has been  no fresh news on the government’s official website since the caretaker trade minister’s press statement about the European Parliament vote on the NZ-EU Free Trade Agreement. But the capital is abuzz with news – and media comment is quickly flowing – after ...
    Point of OrderBy Bob Edlin
    1 week ago
  • Christopher Luxon – NZ PM #42.
    Nothing says strong and stable like having your government announcement delayed by a day because one of your deputies wants to remind everyone, but mostly you, who wears the trousers. It was all a bit embarrassing yesterday with the parties descending on Wellington before pulling out of proceedings. There are ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    1 week ago
  • Coalition Government details policies & ministers
    Winston Peters will be Deputy PM for the first half of the Coalition Government’s three-year term, with David Seymour being Deputy PM for the second half. Photo montage by Lynn Grieveson for The KākāTL;DR: PM-Elect Christopher Luxon has announced the formation of a joint National-ACT-NZ First coalition Government with a ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • “Old Coat” by Peter, Paul & Mary.
     THERE ARE SOME SONGS that seem to come from a place that is at once in and out of the world. Written by men and women who, for a brief moment, are granted access to that strange, collective compendium of human experience that comes from, and belongs to, all the ...
    1 week ago

  • New Zealand welcomes European Parliament vote on the NZ-EU Free Trade Agreement
    A significant milestone in ratifying the NZ-EU Free Trade Agreement (FTA) was reached last night, with 524 of the 705 member European Parliament voting in favour to approve the agreement. “I’m delighted to hear of the successful vote to approve the NZ-EU FTA in the European Parliament overnight. This is ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Further humanitarian support for Gaza, the West Bank and Israel
    The Government is contributing a further $5 million to support the response to urgent humanitarian needs in Gaza, the West Bank and Israel, bringing New Zealand’s total contribution to the humanitarian response so far to $10 million. “New Zealand is deeply saddened by the loss of civilian life and the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago

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