Memo from Crosby Textor – Simon Bridges limo expenses

notices and features
6 years ago
Categories: crosby textor, making shit up, Media, national, same old national, Shane Jones, Simon Bridges, the praiseworthy and the pitiful, trevor mallard, you couldn't make this shit up

We have been contacted by concerned elements from within the National Party to provide urgent advice on the handling of a media crisis. Our bill has already been paid and we are happy to provide comment free of further charge.

We note that over the past couple of days a media story has arisen about the use of Crown limousines and the incurring of significant expenses for the provision of hotel rooms to allow the current leader of the National Party to visit ordinary people throughout New Zealand and persuade them he is just like them.

We note also there has been some controversy over the level of the expenses and the fact the information was released by an unknown source to the media a few days before it would have in the normal course of events been released.

If we were to have been asked initially for our advice we would have said to do nothing. The amounts involved were relatively small. Examples could have been provided through third parties to show that the socialists have also spent considerable amounts on travel and accommodation. And a trusted media person could have recycled the history of Shane Jones watching porn at the expense of the Crown.

But this rather obvious course of action has not been followed and we understand that a third day of media attention has now started.

With the greatest of respect the handling of this issue by the Leader’s Office has been appalling.

Not only did Bridges say something, but he has made a number of clearly contradictory statements.

He initially tried, in a rather hamfisted manner, to blame Labour for the spend. Only the most diehard supporter would argue such tosh.

He then suggested that no one from his caucus would have leaked the information immediately after he said that he had not turned his mind to the issue. These statements are clearly contradictory.

Late yesterday he said, and we cannot understand how this made its way through his office, that a High Court Judge should be tasked with conducting an inquiry into who leaked the information.

We are dumfounded that such a suggestion should have been made.

There are two significant problems:

The cost will be prohibitive, at best equalling the spend that occurred providing transport and accommodation, at worst exceeding it by a considerable amount.
The result will very likely be damaging for National and an indication that its caucus is divided and factionalised. The only possible leaker outside of Caucus and the Public Service is Speaker Trevor Mallard and our assessment is that he, because of his current role, is no longer engaged in this sort of behaviour.

A great deal of money has been spent on creating the illusion that the National caucus is united and this incident puts it all at risk.

We note that Speaker Mallard has indicated that he will consider seeking a forensic analysis of the document. We urge caution. It is clear from his comment that he believes it will exonerate his office and him from blame for the leak and such a result would focus the attention of the media on National’s internal divisions.

National cheerleaders have attempted in social media to divert attention at the same time that Bridges has fanned the flames of the controversy. Their efforts, which in any event were inept, are made worse by his continued involvement in the issue.

This is a cluster intercourse of the worst sort. We recommend that Simon Bridges be told that he should not under any circumstances say anything further about the issue.

We are happy to continue to provide advice on the previous contractual basis but taking into account our new scale of fees.