Memo to all National Party staffers:

Written By: - Date published: 12:15 pm, December 13th, 2007 - 1 comment
Categories: humour - Tags:

Listen up guys and campers, there are some disturbing bits of info coming back from our ‘plants’ in the media world, including David F.

I realise that the Labour govt are stuffing up to such big-time that I understand a little over-confidence is creeping in to our ranks. We don’t want anyone thinking that we are arrogant and making unnecessary assumptions about becoming the next we? So here are some instructions:

1. Do not talk to David Farrar in public. All meetings need to be at party headquarters or in the leader’s office.
2. The office plan of the Beehive currently circulating between English’s and McCully’s office needs to be binned in case it gets into the wrong hands. By the way, Kevin Taylor is not getting the deputy leader’s office!
3. The Friday night office parties in Brownlee’s office must not include pouring wine down the office walls on the basis that the place won’t be needed after 2008. Seriously guys, we don’t need to explain to Parliamentary Services the need for repair work before Labour can come back to opposition.
4. Could we please stop spreading the rumour that John is practicing his acceptance speech. I know that Mike Moore has sent him a copy of his one from 1993 but the leader now understands that he’s got a few other speeches to make before November 2008.
5. We have scrapped the new slogan; “we are the world, we are the champions.” Bill thinks it might piss off the farmers after Henry lost the World Cup.
6. Finally, unity is going to be important. Stick together and what happens on the field, stays on the field. Please, please deny any rumours about Gerry’s office goings-ons.

Cheers, Chuck

One comment on “Memo to all National Party staffers:”

  1. dancer 1

    i heard john key and richard long (of the Don Brash/ Hollow Men fame) were spotted at the press gallery drinks – do you reckon they were trying to figure out some lines Mr Key can use to explain to his business backers why he’s stopped talking about the policies they want to see running? what else would they have been talking about for such a long time?

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