- Date published:
9:05 am, February 24th, 2017 - 62 comments
Categories: Conservation, Environment, making shit up, national, Politics, same old national, Satire, spin, the praiseworthy and the pitiful, water, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags: nick smith
Following his outstanding success in determining that rivers that were previously unswimmable will no longer be unswimmable as long as no more than one out of 20 people who swim in them do not develop gut wrenching sicknesses, Bill English has decided to make his mate Nick Smith Minister of Information for this Government. And there is a lot of work to do. Government plans include these definition changes:
Typical National. Thinking that you can change a standard and then claim that you will achieve the same thing that the opposition is committed to. Do you think the New Zealand electorate is that stupid?
This is Goebbels level propaganda. How dumb do they think we are?
Twitter has some very caustic responses …
— Rod Emmerson (@rodemmerson) February 23, 2017
Alternative facts from Nick Smith — You can fool some of the people some of the time …. pic.twitter.com/kakyQ2qUJf
— Denis Tegg (@denistegg) February 23, 2017
BREAKING DOC advises that freedom campers can now shit in the river twice
— Hamish Keith (@hamish_keith) February 23, 2017
The Nats have us all in a new version of the Hunger Games, if we survive the workplace, limited health care & swimming in our rivers, we win
— Miss Betsey Trotwood (@Suzyiam) February 23, 2017
If apply Govt river swimmability guidelines to restaurant: 1 in 20 diners could come out vomiting and it would be given an 'A' rating
— Russel Norman (@RusselNorman) February 23, 2017
It's unbelievable that the govt thinks the best way to make rivers safe for swimming is to change the definition of what's safe for swimming
— Robin Campbell (@robellcampbin) February 23, 2017
Swimmable rivers doesn't mean doing a search and replace. It means protecting our rivers from 🐮💩. pic.twitter.com/cm6L0PdIkd
— Green Party NZ (@NZGreens) February 23, 2017
Of course, at our current rate of overallocation, we won't have any rivers in 2040. So, 100% of them will be swimmable.
— Felix Geiringer (@BarristerNZ) February 23, 2017