PPE from a Universe Far, Far Away
Written By:
- Date published:
2:33 pm, August 22nd, 2020 - 11 comments
Categories: humour -
Tags: grain of salt
The Resistance Coalition Government has failed miserably and is falling to pieces and the Empire is taking advantage of the shambolic situation and is striking back. Princess Jacinda is under threat and Ashley Skywalker is fighting off attempts to make him appear before the Eye-Browed Empress for a certain execution by forced citation of the Empire’s Border Policy.
While the Covid Death Star is growing in orbit, the five million inhabitants of Planet Aotearoa are wondering what they can do to fight the 19th wave of the Sneaky Menace.
QR codes are one weapon but seem to have had limited uptake and impact so far. Another weapon under development is the CovidCard. However, this may not be the silver bullet either because Aoteareons have an intense distrust of plastic cards that fit within wallets.
Contact tracing is touted as one of the most effective ways to smoke out any infiltrations of the Menace.
Of course, there are the masks and other PPE. Unfortunately, not all PPE is equal and a mask is no protection against carefully hidden lift buttons that can jump out at any time and hit you between the eyes. Only full PPE can do the Jedi trick of keeping out the Menace.
The smart-thinking entrepreneur Darth Vader has developed a new product that he is trying to sell to the Aotearoan Government for mass production. It is pitched with help from a shady sect hailing from the Planet Palantir.
The shiny anti-static and dust-repelling metal jacket helmet comes with tinfoil mesh on the inside to block ionising 5G radiation. The special goggles can scan QR codes and Bluetooth devices and the VR Vizier has a direct link to the Resistance Channel for Live Updates, Tweets, and Facebook messages from the Princess. The audio system has an automatic off-switch when talkback radio waves and/or Magic interference try to hijack it. The helmet is fully integrated with a mask (patent pending) that comprises a clinical-grade filter, specially designed for smoky areas, and has an in-built ultraviolet light source to kill Menace particles as well as a hydrogen peroxide nebuliser to fumigate with sterilising disinfectant – a safe distance of 2 meters is highly recommend. The bulletproof Kevlar pressure suit is air-locked to the headgear and is complemented with an industrial heavy-duty robe made with Aotearoan fleece that repels virus particles by creating eccentric air turbulence when walking – running is not recommended as this might create up-lift and hot air. Military-style boots with easy peel-off Velcro straps and Neoprene gloves ensure protection of the extremities.
An optional add-on is the Lightsaber, which can be used, after some training from a licensed Master, to vaporise instantly any attacking Menace particles. The Standard model has green light with a pleasant warm hue of infrared radiation superimposed; the DeLuxe model has a high-powered Tri-Lithium battery to power an extra ultraviolet light source that gives a bright blue glow, which is ideal during power cuts but bad for melatonin levels.
It is highly recommended that all Aotearoans develop their latent Jedi mind skills to defend themselves against this threat. A collective mind-set is imperative.
May the Force be with you.
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- Green investment fund delivers on climate actionA major investment by Government-owned New Zealand Green Investment Finance towards electrifying the public bus fleet is being welcomed by Climate Change Minister James Shaw. “Today’s announcement that NZGIF has signed a $50 million financing deal with Kinetic, the biggest bus operator in Australasia, to further decarbonise public transport is ...12 hours ago
- Tax credit boosts cash flow for Kiwi innovatorsA world-leading payments system is expected to provide a significant cash flow boost for Kiwi innovators, Minister of Research, Science, and Innovation Ayesha Verrall says. Announcing that applications for ‘in-year’ payments of the Research and Development Tax Incentive (RDTI) were open, Ayesha Verrall said it represented a win for businesses ...12 hours ago
- Te Awa shared path completedMinister of Transport Michael Wood joined crowds of keen cyclists and walkers this morning to celebrate the completion of the Te Awa shared path in Hamilton. “The Government is upgrading New Zealand’s transport system to make it safer, greener, and more efficient for now and future generations to come,” Michael ...2 days ago
- Crown apology to Ngāti Kahungunu ki Wairarapa Tāmaki nui-a-RuaTreaty of Waitangi Negotiations Minister Andrew Little has delivered the Crown apology to Ngāti Kahungunu ki Wairarapa Tāmaki nui-a-Rua for its historic breaches of Te Tiriti of Waitangi today. The ceremony was held at Queen Elizabeth Park in Masterton, hosted by Ngāti Kahungunu ki Wairarapa Tāmaki nui-a-Rua, with several hundred ...3 days ago
- Minister of Foreign Affairs meets with Chinese counterpartMinister of Foreign Affairs Nanaia Mahuta has concluded her visit to China, the first by a New Zealand Foreign Minister since 2018. The Minister met her counterpart, newly appointed State Councilor and Minister of Foreign Affairs, Qin Gang, who also hosted a working dinner. This was the first engagement between the two ...3 days ago
- Government delivering world-class satellite positioning servicesWorld-class satellite positioning services that will support much safer search and rescue, boost precision farming, and help safety on construction sites through greater accuracy are a significant step closer today, says Land Information Minister Damien O’Connor. Damien O’Connor marked the start of construction on New Zealand’s first uplink centre for ...3 days ago
- District Court Judges appointedAttorney-General David Parker has announced the appointment of Christopher John Dellabarca of Wellington, Dr Katie Jane Elkin of Wellington, Caroline Mary Hickman of Napier, Ngaroma Tahana of Rotorua, Tania Rose Williams Blyth of Hamilton and Nicola Jan Wills of Wellington as District Court Judges. Chris Dellabarca Mr Dellabarca commenced his ...4 days ago
- New project set to supercharge ocean economy in Nelson TasmanA new Government-backed project will help ocean-related businesses in the Nelson Tasman region to accelerate their growth and boost jobs. “The Nelson Tasman region is home to more than 400 blue economy businesses, accounting for more than 30 percent of New Zealand’s economic activity in fishing, aquaculture, and seafood processing,” ...4 days ago
- National’s education policy: where’s the funding?After three years of COVID-19 disruptions schools are finally settling down and National want to throw that all in the air with major disruption to learning and underinvestment. “National’s education policy lacks the very thing teachers, parents and students need after a tough couple of years, certainty and stability,” Education ...5 days ago
- Free programme to help older entrepreneurs and inventorsPeople aged over 50 with innovative business ideas will now be able to receive support to advance their ideas to the next stage of development, Minister for Seniors Ginny Andersen said today. “Seniors have some great entrepreneurial ideas, and this programme will give them the support to take that next ...5 days ago
- Government target increased to keep powering up the Māori economyA cross government target for relevant government procurement contracts for goods and services to be awarded to Māori businesses annually will increase to 8%, after the initial 5% target was exceeded. The progressive procurement policy was introduced in 2020 to increase supplier diversity, starting with Māori businesses, for the estimated ...5 days ago
- Continued progress on reducing poverty in challenging times77,000 fewer children living in low income households on the after-housing-costs primary measure since Labour took office Eight of the nine child poverty measures have seen a statistically significant reduction since 2018. All nine have reduced 28,700 fewer children experiencing material hardship since 2018 Measures taken by the Government during ...5 days ago
- Speech at Fiji Investment and Trade Business ForumDeputy Prime Minister Kamikamica; distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen. Tēnā koutou katoa, ni sa bula vinaka saka, namaste. Deputy Prime Minister, a very warm welcome to Aotearoa. I trust you have been enjoying your time here and thank you for joining us here today. To all delegates who have travelled to be ...5 days ago
- Government investments boost and diversify local economies in lower South Island$2.9 million convertible loan for Scapegrace Distillery to meet growing national and international demand $4.5m underwrite to support Silverlight Studios’ project to establish a film studio in Wanaka Gore’s James Cumming Community Centre and Library to be official opened tomorrow with support of $3m from the COVID-19 Response and Recovery ...5 days ago
- Government future-proofs EV chargingTransport Minister Michael Wood has today launched the first national EV (electric vehicle) charging strategy, Charging Our Future, which includes plans to provide EV charging stations in almost every town in New Zealand. “Our vision is for Aotearoa New Zealand to have world-class EV charging infrastructure that is accessible, affordable, ...5 days ago
- World-leading family harm prevention campaign supports young NZersAssociate Minister for Social Development and Employment Priyanca Radhakrishnan has today launched the Love Better campaign in a world-leading approach to family harm prevention. Love Better will initially support young people through their experience of break-ups, developing positive and life-long attitudes to dealing with hurt. “Over 1,200 young kiwis told ...5 days ago
- First Chief Clinical Advisor welcomed into Coroners CourtHon Rino Tirikatene, Minister for Courts, welcomes the Ministry of Justice’s appointment of Dr Garry Clearwater as New Zealand’s first Chief Clinical Advisor working with the Coroners Court. “This appointment is significant for the Coroners Court and New Zealand’s wider coronial system.” Minister Tirikatene said. Through Budget 2022, the Government ...5 days ago
- Next steps for affected properties post Cyclone and floodsThe Government via the Cyclone Taskforce is working with local government and insurance companies to build a picture of high-risk areas following Cyclone Gabrielle and January floods. “The Taskforce, led by Sir Brian Roche, has been working with insurance companies to undertake an assessment of high-risk areas so we can ...6 days ago
- New appointment to Māori Land Court benchE te huia kaimanawa, ko Ngāpuhi e whakahari ana i tau aupikinga ki te tihi o te maunga. Ko te Ao Māori hoki e whakanui ana i a koe te whakaihu waka o te reo Māori i roto i te Ao Ture. (To the prized treasure, it is Ngāpuhi who ...6 days ago
- Government focus on jobs sees record number of New Zealanders move from Benefits into work113,400 exits into work in the year to June 2022 Young people are moving off Benefit faster than after the Global Financial Crisis Two reports released today by the Ministry of Social Development show the Government’s investment in the COVID-19 response helped drive record numbers of people off Benefits and ...6 days ago
- Vertical farming partnership has upward momentumThe Government’s priority to keep New Zealand at the cutting edge of food production and lift our sustainability credentials continues by backing the next steps of a hi-tech vertical farming venture that uses up to 95 per cent less water, is climate resilient, and pesticide-free. Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor visited ...6 days ago
- Conference of Pacific Education Ministers – Keynote AddressE nga mana, e nga iwi, e nga reo, e nga hau e wha, tena koutou, tena koutou, tena koutou kātoa. Warm Pacific greetings to all. It is an honour to host the inaugural Conference of Pacific Education Ministers here in Tāmaki Makaurau. Aotearoa is delighted to be hosting you ...6 days ago
- New $13m renal unit supports Taranaki patientsThe new renal unit at Taranaki Base Hospital has been officially opened by the Minister of Health Dr Ayesha Verrall this afternoon. Te Huhi Raupō received around $13 million in government funding as part of Project Maunga Stage 2, the redevelopment of the Taranaki Base Hospital campus. “It’s an honour ...6 days ago
- Second Poseidon aircraft on home soilDefence Minister Andrew Little has marked the arrival of the country’s second P-8A Poseidon aircraft alongside personnel at the Royal New Zealand Air Force’s Base at Ohakea today. “With two of the four P-8A Poseidons now on home soil this marks another significant milestone in the Government’s historic investment in ...7 days ago
- Further humanitarian aid for Türkiye and SyriaAotearoa New Zealand will provide further humanitarian support to those seriously affected by last month’s deadly earthquakes in Türkiye and Syria, says Foreign Minister Nanaia Mahuta. “The 6 February earthquakes have had devastating consequences, with almost 18 million people affected. More than 53,000 people have died and tens of thousands more ...7 days ago
- Community voice to help shape immigration policyMigrant communities across New Zealand are represented in the new Migrant Community Reference Group that will help shape immigration policy going forward, Immigration Minister Michael Wood announced today. “Since becoming Minister, a reoccurring message I have heard from migrants is the feeling their voice has often been missing around policy ...7 days ago
- State Highway 3 project to deliver safer journeys, better travel connections for TaranakiConstruction has begun on major works that will deliver significant safety improvements on State Highway 3 from Waitara to Bell Block, Associate Minister of Transport Kiri Allan announced today. “This is an important route for communities, freight and visitors to Taranaki but too many people have lost their lives or ...7 days ago
- Ginny Andersen appointed as Minister of PolicePrime Minister Chris Hipkins has today appointed Ginny Andersen as Minister of Police. “Ginny Andersen has a strong and relevant background in this important portfolio,” Chris Hipkins said. “Ginny Andersen worked for the Police as a non-sworn staff member for around 10 years and has more recently been chair of ...1 week ago
- Government confirms vital roading reconnectionsSix further bailey bridge sites confirmed Four additional bridge sites under consideration 91 per cent of damaged state highways reopened Recovery Dashboards for impacted regions released The Government has responded quickly to restore lifeline routes after Cyclone Gabrielle and can today confirm that an additional six bailey bridges will ...1 week ago
- Foreign Minister Mahuta to meet with China’s new Foreign MinisterForeign Minister Nanaia Mahuta departs for China tomorrow, where she will meet with her counterpart, State Councillor and Foreign Minister Qin Gang, in Beijing. This will be the first visit by a New Zealand Minister to China since 2019, and follows the easing of COVID-19 travel restrictions between New Zealand and China. ...1 week ago
- Education Ministers from across the Pacific gather in AotearoaEducation Ministers from across the Pacific will gather in Tāmaki Makaurau this week to share their collective knowledge and strategic vision, for the benefit of ākonga across the region. New Zealand Education Minister Jan Tinetti will host the inaugural Conference of Pacific Education Ministers (CPEM) for three days from today, ...1 week ago
- State Highway 5 reopens between Napier and Taupō following Cyclone GabrielleA vital transport link for communities and local businesses has been restored following Cyclone Gabrielle with the reopening of State Highway 5 (SH5) between Napier and Taupō, Associate Minister of Transport Kiri Allan says. SH5 reopened to all traffic between 7am and 7pm from today, with closure points at SH2 (Kaimata ...1 week ago
- Special Lotto draw raises $11.7 million for Cyclone Gabrielle recoveryInternal Affairs Minister Barbara Edmonds has thanked generous New Zealanders who took part in the special Lotto draw for communities affected by Cyclone Gabrielle. Held on Saturday night, the draw raised $11.7 million with half of all ticket sales going towards recovery efforts. “In a time of need, New Zealanders ...1 week ago
- Government delivers a $3 million funding boost for Building Financial Capability servicesThe Government has announced funding of $3 million for providers to help people, and whānau access community-based Building Financial Capability services. “Demand for Financial Capability Services is growing as people face cost of living pressures. Those pressures are increasing further in areas affected by flooding and Cyclone Gabrielle,” Minister for ...2 weeks ago
- Education New Zealand | Manapou ki te Ao – new Chair and memberMinister of Education, Hon Jan Tinetti, has announced appointments to the Board of Education New Zealand | Manapou ki te Ao. Tracey Bridges is joining the Board as the new Chair and Dr Therese Arseneau will be a new member. Current members Dr Linda Sissons CNZM and Daniel Wilson have ...2 weeks ago
- Scholarships honouring Ngarimu VC and the 28th (Māori) Battalion announcedFifteen ākonga Māori from across Aotearoa have been awarded the prestigious Ngarimu VC and 28th (Māori) Battalion Memorial Scholarships and Awards for 2023, Associate Education Minister and Ngarimu Board Chair, Kelvin Davis announced today. The recipients include doctoral, masters’ and undergraduate students. Three vocational training students and five wharekura students, ...2 weeks ago
- Appointment of Judge of the Court of Appeal and Judge of the High CourtHigh Court Judge Jillian Maree Mallon has been appointed a Judge of the Court of Appeal, and District Court Judge Andrew John Becroft QSO has been appointed a Judge of the High Court, Attorney‑General David Parker announced today. Justice Mallon graduated from Otago University in 1988 with an LLB (Hons), and with ...2 weeks ago
- West Papua Liberation Army fighter shot dead, claims Indonesia
A joint force of Indonesian military and police are claiming to have shot dead a member of the West Papua National Liberation Army (TPNPB) in Central Papua Province on Wednesday last week. Jubi TV Papua reports the joint force was conducting aerial surveillance after a motorcycle taxi driver had been ...2 hours ago - Repeal ‘draconian’ MIDA Act, urge Fiji media and journalism stakeholdersBy Kelvin Anthony, RNZ Pacific lead digital and social media journalist The Fiji government is signalling that it will not completely tear down the country’s controversial media law which, according to local newsrooms and journalism commentators, has stunted press freedom and development for more than a decade. Ahead of the ...2 hours ago
- PNG a key transit point for ‘Pacific drug highway’ to AustraliaBy Miriam Zarriga in Port Moresby The production and trafficking of methamphetamine (meth), cocaine and now heroin is on the rise with Pacific countries now becoming what many are calling the “Pacific drug highway”. And Papua New Guinea has over three years seen a plane crash, a hotel laboratory, a ...2 hours ago
- Succession’s dirtiest deal of them all
A requiem for Shiv and Tom, who would like to make love one last time (but can’t). Major spoilers follow for the first episode of Succession’s fourth season. Her eyes flared. His voice wobbled. “Do you want to… talk?” said Tom Wambsgans, the corporate ladder-climbing schmuck who could see his ...6 hours ago - Greens will back Labor’s safeguard mechanism without a ban on new coal and gas. That’s a good ou...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Tony Wood, Program Director, Energy, Grattan Institute Shutterstock Labor and the Greens have reached a compromise on the safeguard mechanism after months of tense negotiations, giving the government the numbers it needs to pass the bill into law. Greens leader ...7 hours ago
- Wayne Brown's conversion on the road to Victoria St
Wayne Brown vowed to stop new roading projects until existing ones finish - and to unclog the city centre's streets - but he now finds himself enthusiastically backing new upheaval for the key crossroad of Victoria St A $50 million beautification project for CBD's Victoria St - which will disrupt businesses from ...10 hours ago - Marama Davidson clarifies violence comments from Posie Parker protest after calls to resign
The Green Party co-leader says she was in shock from being hit by a motorcycle, and her comments about white men committing violence should have been clearer. ...10 hours ago - How to get more women on bikes? Better biking infrastructure, designed by womenSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Lauren Pearson, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Monash University The number of women riding bikes has increased dramatically in cities globally, including a 50% rise in London during the COVID lockdown, and near-equal gender participation in Paris after pop-up bike lanes were put in ...10 hours ago
- PM ordered Davidson to walk back ‘white cis men’ commentsThe prime minister has labelled comments made by one of his ministers over the weekend as inappropriate, and revealed his office asked her to walk them back. Marama Davidson, co-leader of the Green Party and a minister, was captured on video ahead of a rally against anti-trans speaker Posie Parker ...10 hours ago
- TGA review strengthens case for much tighter vape restrictions at the borderSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Becky Freeman, Associate Professor, School of Public Health, University of Sydney Shutterstock On Friday, the Therapeutic Goods Administration (TGA) updated its review of proposed reforms to the regulation of nicotine vaping products. It reported the federal government is now “actively ...11 hours ago
- We’ve been connecting brains to computers longer than you’d expect. These 3 companies are leadin...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Sam John, Senior Lecturer in Neural Engineering, The University of Melbourne Shutterstock Since it was founded in 2016, Elon Musk’s brain-computer interface (BCI) company Neuralink has had its moments in biotech news. Whether it was the time Musk promised ...11 hours ago
- Keith Rankin Chart Analysis – The Pandemic: Young Elderly Deaths in Europe, USA and New ZealandAnalysis by Keith Rankin. Chart by Keith Rankin. The ‘Young Elderly’ are in essence the post-war baby-boomers. An average young elderly person in these charts was born around 1950 to 1952. The charts look at ‘quarterly excess deaths’, so do not show week-by-week fluctuations in deaths. For example, data ...11 hours ago
- Davidson clarifies ‘white cis men’ remark, blames ‘shock’ of motorcycle incidentThe co-leader of the Green Party has clarified comments she made at Saturday’s counter-protest against anti-trans speaker Posie Parker. Caught on camera by a representative for the conspiracy theorist website Counterspin, Marama Davidson claimed: “I am the prevention violence minister, and I know who causes violence in the world, and ...11 hours ago
- Hear me out: Stop recording scenes from Red, White & Brass for your social mediaA friendly reminder that your best intentions of promoting a New Zealand-made film are not actually supporting the artists behind it. For many of us, documenting our day or sharing highlights of our week is a common occurrence on social media. For some, that meant uploading full scenes onto TikTok ...11 hours ago
- The Auckland Arts Festival rounds off with an unruly, joyous endingAfter two and a half weeks, the Auckland Arts Festival comes to a close with another eclectic week. Sam Brooks reviews (with assistance from Shanti Mathias). The headline show of the week was undoubtedly The Unruly Tourists, which has had more coverage than any opera I can think of in ...12 hours ago
- This Buddhist sculpture probably won’t ‘rewrite history’ – Western Australia already has a r...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Yu Tao, Senior Lecturer in Chinese Studies, The University of Western Australia State Library of Western Australia Does the discovery of a Ming Dynasty Buddha sculpture found near Shark Bay in remote Western Australia “rewrite history” and suggest the Chinese ...12 hours ago
- The environmental impact of Russia’s invasion goes beyond Ukraine – how do we deal with ‘probl...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Robert G. Patman, Professor of International Relations, University of Otago Zaporizhzhia nuclear power plant. Getty Images Russia’s invasion of Ukraine appears to be a defining moment in the evolution of the post-Cold War world. In particular, it is highlighting problems that do ...13 hours ago
- How to prepare a Sāmoan umuIf you saw the demonstration at Pasifika Festival – or if you’ve just always wanted to know how it’s done – here’s a step-by-step guide to preparing your own umu oven. A Sāmoan umu is an above-ground oven of hot volcanic rocks. Traditionally, an umu was laid out three times ...13 hours ago
- Covid-19 update: Death toll rises by 33The official Covid-19 death toll has risen by 33 this week, bumping the total to 2,662. The Ministry of Health’s latest update reports 76 new Covid-attributed deaths, but the overall death toll rises by 33 when adjusted to include non-Covid and other unrelated deaths. The daily average number of new ...14 hours ago
- GCSB prevented three potential domestic terror attacks – Director-General Andrew HamptonOne of New Zealand's spy agencies has revealed it helped prevent three recent domestic terror attacks by identifying people who made threats. ...14 hours ago
- GCSB helped prevent three potential domestic terror attacks – Director-General Andrew HamptonThe head of one of New Zealand's spy agencies has revealed it helped prevent three recent possible domestic terror attacks ...14 hours ago
- Why Western Sydney is feeling the heat from climate change more than the rest of the citySource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Milton Speer, Visiting Fellow, School of Mathematical and Physical Sciences, University of Technology Sydney Shutterstock Global warming has led to higher summer temperatures across Sydney over the past 30 years. However, our data analysis shows very hot summer days are ...14 hours ago
- Super Rugby Aupiki finals review: How Matatū went from winless to championsTwo of the best games of the Super Rugby Aupiki season were saved for finals weekend in Hamilton. Alice Soper recaps. Third/fourth playoff: Blues vs Hurricanes Poua Sometimes a bronze playoff can be a bit of a flop. Still in recovery from the disappointment of missing out on the ...15 hours ago
- Bryce Edwards’ Political Roundup: The Ugly stoking of a culture war in election yearAnalysis by Dr Bryce Edwards. Political Roundup: The Ugly stoking of a culture war in election year This weekend saw a showdown between two tribes of contemporary gender politics: those in favour of progressing transgender rights versus women wishing to defend their spaces. It’s a debate with huge passion, outrage and ...15 hours ago
- Revealed: Spy agency stopped three possible terror attacksOne of New Zealand’s spy agencies foiled three possible terror events on our shores, it’s been revealed. The Security and Intelligence select committee met today, with bosses from the SIS and GCSB facing questions from MPs including prime minister Chris Hipkins. It was during this hearing that Andrew Hampton, the ...15 hours ago
- I am a lawyer for children – this is what I doAn anonymous lawyer for children explains what she does, and why it matters. I’m a lawyer who is appointed by courts to represent children in cases where there are concerns about their safety or where the court thinks it necessary. In almost all cases involving disputes around the care of ...16 hours ago
- Robertson considered ‘bank tax’ to curb excessive profitsAs banks face scrutiny over the size of their profits, it’s been revealed the finance minister looked at a possible “bank tax”. The Herald’s Jenée Tibshraeny reported this morning that Grant Robertson asked for advice from the Reserve Bank on whether it would be possible to save the Crown money ...17 hours ago
- Green Party Announces Disability Advocate Neelu Jennings As The Candidate For The Hutt South Elector...
The Green Party has announced Neelu Jennings as the candidate for Hutt South. Neelu Jennings is a disabled disability advocate and former athlete. The mother of two aims to use her platform to call for a fair and inclusive Aotearoa where disabled ...17 hours ago - Minister Davidson Must Resign After 'Violence' CommentsMarama Davidson should stand down as ‘Minister for the Prevention of Family and Sexual Violence’ for the clear and outrageous statement she made at the Posie Parker protest that ‘white straight men’ are the cause of violence. Her offensive, racist, ...17 hours ago
- Colenso And MindTheGap Join Forces On Pay Gap CampaigningColensoBBDO has been appointed as the new creative agency of record by pay-gap advocacy group MindTheGap to bring renewed attention to the issue of gender and ethnic pay gaps within New Zealand businesses and government. In the 50 years since the Equal ...17 hours ago
- Inside the rise of ‘Do We Have the Same Boyfriend’ Facebook groupsThousands of women across the country are joining Facebook groups that seek to answer one simple question. This article contains reference to domestic violence and emotional abuse, please take care. A quick scroll through the biggest “Do We Have The Same Boyfriend” Facebook group in the country reveals a sea ...18 hours ago
- The Bulletin: Cook Strait ferry woes worsenBluebridge’s Connemara ferry was back in service yesterday after a mechanical issue caused a string of cancellations on Saturday. It was the third time Connemara had broken down in less than two months of service, according to the NZ Herald. “We understand this is very disruptive to our customers’ travel plans ...18 hours ago
- Bendy joints, stretchy skin, clumsiness. Why hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome is often missed – ...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Marie-Claire Seeley, PhD Candidate, Australian Dysautonomia and Arrhythmia Research Collaborative, University of Adelaide Shutterstock There is growing interest in a connective tissue condition called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. As more adults are diagnosed with autism, some might not be aware their history ...18 hours ago
- Education expert John Hattie’s new book draws on more than 130,000 studies to find out what helps ...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By John Hattie, Professor, Melbourne Graduate School of Education, The University of Melbourne Shutterstock In 2008, I published my book Visible Learning, which aimed to explain what works best to help student learning. At the time, others claimed it was the ...18 hours ago
- How and where we build needs to change in the face of more extreme weather – the insurance industr...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michael Naylor, Senior Lecturer in Economics, Massey University Getty Images As New Zealand considers how to better prepare for a future affected by climate change, the insurance sector needs to be part the discussion on where and how we build ...18 hours ago
- Are you financially literate? Here are 7 signs you’re on the right trackSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Bomikazi Zeka, Assistant Professor in Finance and Financial Planning, University of Canberra Photo by Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels, CC BY With the cost of living and interest rates rising, a growing number of Australians are struggling to manage their finances. Many are ...18 hours ago
- ‘No reason’ for anti-trans speaker to fear for her life, says Pride organiserThe scenes that unfolded at Auckland’s Albert Park on Saturday morning were, according to counter-protesters, largely peaceful and non-violent. British anti-trans campaigner Kellie-Jay Keen Minshull (or Posie Parker) fled New Zealand after her attempts to host a rally in Auckland city were stopped by thousands of protesters. Keen-Minshull has claimed ...19 hours ago
- Guyon Espiner on NZ’s troublesome lobbying lawsHe’s got one of the most prestigious journalism careers in the country, but RNZ’s Guyon Espiner is not slowing down anytime soon. His new series “Mate, Comrade, Brother” on political lobbying in New Zealand has already exposed a number of troubling incidents. He sits down with Duncan Greive to discuss why he ...19 hours ago
- The anti-trans rally that wasn’tPosie Parker said she wanted to ‘speak up for women’. Hundreds of protesters spoke up for trans rights instead, writes Catherine McGregor in this excerpt from The Bulletin, The Spinoff’s morning news round-up. To receive The Bulletin in full each weekday, sign up here. A day of anger and joy ...20 hours ago
- Nanaia Mahuta – 'We take seriously' New Zealand's relationship with ChinaThe foreign minister has returned from a visit to China saying the relationship is very important and complex, requiring "continual management" to make sure the two countries do not lose sight of each others' views and perspectives. ...20 hours ago
- How much for that racism in the window? Auctioneers sell racist, Nazi paraphernalia
Shock but not surprise – that’s how an Auckland woman reacted to a racist depiction of a black person up for sale at a Mt Eden auction house Diana Phillips felt "immediate straight-up fury" on seeing a racist caricature of a black person for sale in the window of a Mt ...20 hours ago - Anne Salmond: Greenwashing and the forestry industry in NZ
The inquiry into forestry slash destruction in Tairāwhiti, and review of the Emissions Trading Scheme, should prioritise the state of the planet not the balance sheets of global corporations, writes Dame Anne Salmond. Over the past few weeks, New Zealanders have been exposed to shocking images of local landscapes ravaged ...21 hours ago - A new report into Shortland Street shows its vast impact – and hints at perilExclusive: A new report into the cultural and economic benefits of Shortland Street shows its power – but as with any good soap, trouble is coming. Duncan Greive reports on its findings. When Shortland Street debuted in 1992, no one could have predicted what it would become. NZ on Air, ...22 hours ago
- How to charge your EV without being a dickKeep calm and charge up: an etiquette guide for those wanting to use public EV chargers without leaving a trail of chaos in their wake. It looks like a petrol pump. It is like a petrol pump. But this one doesn’t have any fossil fuels flowing out the hose. Electric ...22 hours ago
- The unexpected result of sharing difficult decision-making with citizens
As a Watercare Citizens’ Assembly shows, they can provide useful and constructive inputs to the democratic process ...22 hours ago - Why NZ (really) needs water reform – in five charts
Five key charts from the state-of-our-waters report put the case for Three Waters reform ...22 hours ago - Porn and the middle classes
The explosive opening chapter of a new novel Identity remains secret A thirty-nine-year-old Point Heed businessman and father of two convicted for possession and distribution of child pornography has been granted permanent name suppression. Bridget’s throat caught. Point Heed: lovely, leafy Point Heed. Her neighbourhood. It was ...22 hours ago - Cash is king as NZX's seventh straight fall wipes out gains for the year
Germany’s Deutsche Bank suffered the biggest hit on bank stocks ...22 hours ago - Porn and the middle classesThe explosive opening chapter of a new novel Identity remains secret A thirty-nine-year-old Point Heed businessman and father of two convicted for possession and distribution of child pornography has been granted permanent name suppression. Bridget’s throat caught. Point Heed: lovely, leafy Point Heed. Her neighbourhood. It was ...22 hours ago
- Majority of New Zealanders support 'ute tax'
A new survey shows support for the EV subsidy – and the fee on high-emitting vehicles ...22 hours ago - Trees: Our ultimate renewal resource
Watch video: In part 5 of our video series, The Way Forward, Rod Oram looks at big new ideas that can lead our response to climate change and improve sustainability. If we humans are to stand any chance of a liveable future, we must transform everything we do so ...22 hours ago - East Coast farm collapses after Māori Carbon group takes over
The Government's Emissions Trading Scheme incentivises the planting of pine forest. But a company looking to cash in on the scheme has left a farm on the East Coast prone to significant erosion within months of taking over. Aaron Smale reports. Satellite images of a former sheep station on the East Coast show a stark ...22 hours ago - Co-governance at the coalface
Newsroom's Nikki Mandow went hunting for organisations run using a co-governance model and found some have been doing it quietly for years. No power grab, no stolen assets. The Detail hears from leaders of these bodies about what co-governance looks like in practice, and asks - does it work? For Bob ...22 hours ago - Majority of Kiwis support 'ute tax'A new survey shows Kiwis also back a fee on high-emitting vehicles ...22 hours ago
- Child porn at central suburbThe explosive opening chapter of a new novel Identity remains secret A thirty-nine-year-old Point Heed businessman and father of two convicted for possession and distribution of child pornography has been granted permanent name suppression. Bridget’s throat caught. Point Heed: lovely, leafy Point Heed. Her neighbourhood. It was ...22 hours ago
- Bunnings agrees to remove 999-year legal constraint on use of residential land
The Australian-owned building supplies chain is defending the 16 land covenants it has retained ...22 hours ago - Daily crossword, Monday 27 March
...23 hours ago - Newsroom daily quiz, Monday 27 March
Loading...(function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){var ql=document.querySelectorAll('A[quiz],DIV[quiz],A[data-quiz],DIV[data-quiz]'); if(ql){if(ql.length){for(var k=0;k<ql.length;k++){ql[k].id='quiz-embed-'+k;ql[k].href="javascript:var i=document.getElementById('quiz-embed-"+k+"');try{qz.startQuiz(i)}catch(e){i.start=1;i.style.cursor='wait';i.style.opacity='0.5'};void(0);"}}};i['QP']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){(i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)})(window,document,'script','https://take.quiz-maker.com/3012/CDN/quiz-embed-v1.js','qp'); Got a good quiz question? Send Newsroom your questions. ...23 hours ago - Keeping the flow – the use of te reo Māori at NZ’s ParliamentBy Johnny Blades, RNZ The House journalist An increased appetite to learn te reo Māori among members and staff from different parts of the Parliamentary system means the work of Parliament’s Māori Language Service is in demand more than ever. Compared to several years ago there’s now also significantly more acknowledgement ...1 day ago
- After 12 years in opposition, grassroots politics restores Labor to power in New South WalesSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Andy Marks, Pro Vice-Chancellor, Strategy, Government and Alliances, Western Sydney University Dean Lewins/AAP Sometimes defeat can come with small victories. In his NSW election concession speech, defeated Liberal-National Coalition Premier Dominic Perrottet remarked the campaign had been a “race to ...1 day ago
- View from The Hill: Dutton saddles up for Aston race amid Victorian Liberal infightingSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Michelle Grattan, Professorial Fellow, University of Canberra Mikey Burnet Byelections for leaders are rather like steeplechases for horses: there is always the risk of serious injury. Ahead of the 2018 super-Saturday contests, Bill Shorten had an impatient Anthony Albanese ...1 day ago
- Posie Parker protest: Christopher Luxon says right to free speech must be protectedNational Party leader Christopher Luxon says a controversial British activist has the right to free speech in New Zealand, following the clash at Auckland's counter protest on Saturday. ...1 day ago
- Weekend of trans support concludes in WellingtonThe Queer Endurance / Defiance group had organised this rally for trans acceptance and reproductive rights as soon as they heard Posie Parker planned to come to Wellington. And while the anti-trans campaigner never ended up making it to the nation’s capital after her failed Auckland event, around 3,000 members ...1 day ago
- As Australia signs up for nuclear subs, NZ faces hard decisions over the AUKUS allianceANALYSIS: By Nicholas Khoo, University of Otago Former Australian prime minister Paul Keating’s recent strident criticism of the A$368 billion nuclear-powered submarine deal announced under the AUKUS security pactwill have little effect on Australian policy. Canberra’s deepening level of security cooperation is underpinned by a deep political consensus. But the ...1 day ago
- Posie Parker departs NZ – JK Rowling blasts protest as ‘repellent’RNZ News British gender activist Posie Parker has left New Zealand, calling it the “worst place for women she has ever visited”. Kellie-Jay Keen-Minshull, also known as Posie Parker, shared a photo on social media showing her being escorted by police through Auckland Airport. She left her rally at Albert ...1 day ago
- Australia is now almost entirely held by Labor – but that doesn’t necessarily make life easier f...Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Frank Bongiorno, Professor of History, ANU College of Arts and Social Sciences, Australian National University Tasmanian Premier Jeremy Rockliff (right) is now the only non-Labor leader at federal or state level. Mick Tsikas/AAP When Dominic Perrottet gave a gracious concession speech after ...2 days ago
- Hundreds gather in Christchurch in support of trans rightsHundreds of people have gathered by Christchurch’s Bridge of Remembrance to show support for the trans community in the wake of anti-transgender activist Posie Parker’s brief visit to Aotearoa. Bubbles filled the air against a backdrop of trans rights flags and hundreds of signs of support for the LGBTQIA+ community, ...2 days ago
- Labor very likely to win majority in NSW electionSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Adrian Beaumont, Election Analyst (Psephologist) at The Conversation; and Honorary Associate, School of Mathematics and Statistics, The University of Melbourne Dean Lewins/AAP This article was updated March 26. With 36% of enrolled voters counted in today’s New South Wales ...2 days ago
- Recipe: Masala fish fryCoated in two spices and ready in five minutes. Easy as. I first heard of marsala chicken when I moved to New Zealand as a 15-year-old. The dish confused me as it didn’t have any spices in it except for garlic. In my head I had confused it with the ...2 days ago
- Goodbye, Swamp RdAuthor Marty Smith writes from her home, the flood-damaged region of Hawke’s Bay, excavating the extraordinary facets of life amid a disaster. Wednesday 22 February 22, eight days after the flood. It’s easy to drive down Puketitiri Rd: diggers cleared silt and slips on the second day. Looters slide at ...2 days ago
- The Sunday Essay: No cheat mealsMy trainer said she was happier than she’d ever been. I wanted that. The Sunday Essay is made possible thanks to the support of Creative New Zealand. Illustrations by Note: This essay discusses and describes disordered eating. Please take care. Just 10 burpees to go. I threw myself against the carpet. ...2 days ago
- An Ode for .. Poll loser Luxon
Bard Billot on the bumbling Baron Race for the Polls Baron Luxon speeds across the polar wastes aboard his electric blue jet sled “Titanic.” The sky is cloudless and the way is clear and the Baron is well in the lead. In his toasty warm fine mink cossack hat ...2 days ago - The truest Warriors fans? Wāhine MāoriMāori women are the backbone of the Warriors and always have been, writes Briar Pomana. Since before I can remember, my mum has been a Warriors fan. Her and other wāhine Māori I know are some of the staunchest supporters out and, in my opinion, are the true face of ...2 days ago
- An alternative view of the ‘angry’ protest crowdReports have described the protest held at Albert Park on Saturday as angry, chaotic and ugly. This attendee found it to be joyful, life-affirming and full of love. Climbing the stairs up to Saturday’s counter-rally where anti-trans activist Posie Parker was meant to speak, my husband and I were hit ...2 days ago
- Labor set to win thumping majority in NSW electionSource: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Adrian Beaumont, Election Analyst (Psephologist) at The Conversation; and Honorary Associate, School of Mathematics and Statistics, The University of Melbourne Dean Lewins/AAP With 36% of enrolled voters counted in today’s New South Wales state election, the Poll Bludger’s results currently ...2 days ago
I was going to pull you up for using the wrong word there but having a Virtual Reality Advisor directly linked to the Resistance Channel makes sense. After all, the Resistance needs all the help it can get and, in their case, virtual help is better than real help as it's cheaper and it really only needs to parrot what Darth Judious tells it to….
Oh, wait…
I'm confused.
Who's the Empire, who's the resistance and what the hell did you do with the republic?
#NZHellhole
I love the "automatic off switch", mine goes into gear when any Gormless person gets on the airwaves. Shared this with my mate.. he laughed out loud, said "Someone should draw that outfit!!!" Thanks for a good laugh Incognito.
Outfit rendered:
Is there an update channel 4 where I can go to carjack the millenium falcon?? Wheels 4 the emergency.
Stormtrooper Collins in 2015.
Of course I agree with you in regards to the relentless BS and crazy conspiracy theories that presently run amok, however in some sense there is also chicken coming home to roost I feel, MSM have been relentlessly pushing the Russia gate for four years, which although still has no actual substantive evidence was mentioned constantly at the DNC convention….so where is the line between state propaganda and conspiracy theory?…and what is worse?….
RAY McGOVERN: Catapulting Russian-Meddling Propaganda
" Mazzetti is telling his readers, soto voce: regarding that interference four years ago, and the “continued-unabated” part, you just have to trust us and our intelligence community sources who would never lie to you. And if, nevertheless, you persist in asking for actual evidence, you are clearly in Putin’s pocket. "
https://consortiumnews.com/2020/08/21/ray-mcgovern-catapulting-russian-meddling-propaganda/
Adrian Thornton your compulsive addiction to ignoring the facts.Then going ballistic at anyone who disagrees with your Silo thinking is becoming a bore.
This week more information has hit the news about Trumps collusion,Manaforts ,Donald Junior etc deep ties with Russian spies,the number of Trump close aides imprisoned for lying about connections to Russian interference .
An Avalanche of evidence all pointing to Trump and his corrupt cronies.
You are channelling Trump by trying to shift the blame and deny any wrong doing.
An Avalanche with more facing corruption
Social media algorithms actively select for what you have already shown interest in; thereby driving positive feedback loops of confirmation bias.
Which drives humans crazy.
Content is annoying enough, but the advertising takes the cake. Why yes, I just spent hundreds of dollars on a new washing machine, of course I must want to see more washing machine ads. I obviously buy one every day.
Enough Star Wars already! If all the energy that goes into devising and inhabiting fictional universes were instead put into reforming our actual geopolitical, societal and environmental structures, this world would be improved a heckuva lot sooner.