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Press Gallery exam

Written By: - Date published: 10:34 am, February 2nd, 2011 - 11 comments
Categories: humour, news - Tags:

Our Deep Throat in the press gallery (Rob Hosking) leaked us a copy of the admittance test.
Q4) Which of these stories is newsworthy?
a) Greying MP dyes hair
b) Fat MP a little less fat
c) PM supports dictator against popular uprising
d) PM jokes about affairs with domestic abuser
e) Wages drop, as Key secretly promised business
Yeah. I didn’t pass either.

11 comments on “Press Gallery exam ”

  1. bbfloyd 1

    the obvious answer is (a). considering that the next most important question must be; is your national party membership up to date? and if not, why not? you ain’t going to get a job as a political reporter on any newspaper, or television news program if you aren’t affiliated to the nats…
    how many senior political journalists are actively working for keys gang now? it must be a substantial majority. some of them would do well to remember that there are only so many spaces on the party lists for loyal media employees. they have to have people who actually do stuff that is relevant as well.

  2. tc 2

    You forgot:
    f) 2 TV journo’s getting married but not to each other
    g) Anything fluffy about JK’s boy Max and his trips with daddy

  3. deemac 3

    do you think the media owners might have an agenda…

    • bbfloyd 3.1

      they(media owners) would be the same people working for the owners of the national party..? you might be on to something there.

      • Draco T Bastard 3.1.1

        I would have thought that the media owners were part owners of the National Party (Ltd).

  4. Cnr Joe 4

    Fat privileged MaoriParty M.P and Disabilities Minister shucks gorged kilos by paying top dollar for private stomach stapling thereby leading her people by example, once again. Still gorging tho because her dream beau John ‘ooh, I’d fuck her Veitchy’ Key, the PrimeMinister of N.Z hasn’t called her Pixie recently.
    we live in a twilight zone

  5. BLiP 5

    Heh!!

    Must have updated the test. The last one I saw had the multi-choice options:

    A: School girls faint in presence of John Key

    B: John Key sings a Christmas carol

    or

    C: John Key offers Prince William marriage advice

    Speaking of which, there was a report somewhere that John Key *might* be invited to the wedding. No doubt Crosby/Textor have already told John to get on the phone. God, can you imagine it!

    ring, ring . . . ring, ring . . .

    Hello, this is William

    Hey, Billy-boy, s’mee Junkie

    Junkie? Sorry, who is this?

    Its me, Junkie, Poimemunster ah Newzild

    Ahh, John Key. How could I forget. How are you John? Sorry to hear about the terrible episode at Pike River, my thoughts are with you all. How’s the recovery process coming along

    Oh, dun worry bout that. Had to seal the issue off – geddit? “seal it off” – heh!! Trouble is its ‘lectshun year, can’t be having weeping widows and bleating kiddies all over the news. Not a good look. Plus, who knows what the physicul ev’dence might’ve shown about safety and stuff. This government is about gun forward. Spikking of which, thus been ‘lectshun year ‘n all, have you sent out the wedding invites yet?

    I beg your pardon . . .

    Well, we need some good news now and some photo ops later on. Tell ya wot, lemme sweeten the deal – have the honeymoon ova’ere – all on me, mate. We’ll putchya up at the Huka, where ever you want, lay on your own pershonal chopper – Tolley’s got one spare hehehe – and, wait there’s more, mate, lemme tell ya, I’ve got some preeeemo tickets to the Rugby Whirl Cup, howzat sound mate?

    Look, Mr Prime Minister, I’m sure . . .

    Never min’ the hoity-toity with me, Billy, this is your mate, Junky ya spikking to. Look, tell ya what, since its you ‘n all, bring Kathy along to the footy if you have to . . .

    Kathy???

    Oh, wots’er name, Kate is it? Bring ‘er long, ‘er n the Hobbit can hook up and you ‘n me can watch the real action, waddya say, waddya say, waddya say, c’mon Billy, too sweet a deal to pass up, amirite or amirite?

    C L I C K . . .

    . . . ‘ello? ya there, Billy . . . oh, bugger, bloody cellphone’s gone dead. Wassis number again?

  6. BLiP 6

    Just when you think it couldn’t possibly get any worse . . .

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