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Queen of Thorns makes a move for Labour leadership

Written By: - Date published: 12:00 pm, November 18th, 2012 - 15 comments
Categories: labour, making shit up, Satire - Tags:

It’s like this, people.

Last night Patrick Gower emailed me about how the Labour Party Conference was going.  See, I’d criticised TV3’s coverage on Twitter, where an embarrassing clip of Paddy badgering David Cunliffe to predict the future was spun into “DAVID CUNLIFFE MAKING A MOVE FOR LABOUR LEADERSHIP.”

Then I, in a fit of girlish flirtation, emailed back, “Sorry, Paddy.  I can’t confirm I won’t run against Shearer in February either!”

And thus my secret is out.  By refusing to predict the state of the party in three months’ time, by refusing to make assumptions about whether David Shearer can pull the cat out of the bag or will continue to muddle along with his guitar getting nowhere in the polls … well, I’ve clearly thrown my hat in the ring.

You should also be aware that I can’t rule out moving to Thailand at some point in the future, maybe after the February Labour leadership vote.  That’s going to be Paddy’s headline tomorrow night:  “NZ BLOGGER TO ABANDON COUNTRY IF SHEARER REMAINS LEADER”.

And I also couldn’t rule out having steak for dinner tonight.  On Monday, Paddy’s got Campbell Live locked down for exclusive coverage of RADICAL FEMINIST BLOGGER PLANS SUNDAY FEAST TO CELEBRATE CUNLIFFE’S IMPENDING LEADERSHIP CHALLENGE.

Seriously, people.  There can be news stories in what people are happy or unhappy to confirm or deny.  There are interesting implications for the future leadership of Labour in the changes that have been voted at conference.

But whining “David, David, show your loyalty David, rule out running against Shearer David, come on David, why won’t you prove your loyalty David” and then reporting that as ground-breaking leadership challenge rumblings is just sad.

Mind you, we’re talking about the journo who added up the number of job ads on TradeMe and Seek and then declared that there wasn’t an unemployment crisis.

Meanwhile, John Armstrong is clearly so upset at the prospect of more democracy in the Labour Party he’s been moved to tweet 4 times today already.  Normally such flurries of activity are reserved for the super-cool fun times he’s having on overseas junkets, which you’ll recall he’d like us to note are really hard work, guys.  All I can think?  Is some senior journos are really worried that more democracy in the Labour Party means less juicy gossip for their pet MPs to leak to them.

Speaking of pet MPs, can someone find Trevor Mallard and duct-tape his mouth shut?

15 comments on “Queen of Thorns makes a move for Labour leadership ”

  1. ianmac 1

    Brilliant! 🙂

  2. just saying 2

    Good to see the laundry is done QoT.

    Coincidently, I haven’t ruled out a bid for the leadership either.
    Has anyone in the Labour caucus ruled it out or in? It would be nice to know in advance who my competition might be.

    And let me know if or when you rule any of your many options in or out QoT. I notice you haven’t ruled out running for Secretary-General of the UN. Could this be the real story behind the story?

    • QoT 2.1

      I haven’t ruled out running for Secretary-General either! Clearly this shows there are vicious factional infights underway amongst Standard commenters. But which of us did Helen Clark refuse to rule out supporting on her recent visit? Maybe that’s the real story?

  3. Tim 3

    Well we’ve always known most of the current MSM have an ideological bent, based on positions of comfort and an unquestioning, apathetic public – many who’ve never experienced a 4th Estate. Besides which – IF Paddy did do as you say as regards job availability and the lack of an employment crisis – he’s quite obviously NOT the sharpest knife in the drawer. (For a start! Multiple employment agencies advertise the same jobs, AND they advertise ‘non-existent’ jobs in order to get people on their books – especially in IT and other professions).
    Still…….everythings just tickity boo ain’t it? The Royals come along and these days they engage with an adoring public, and even some deightful couple claiming to be a NZ Proim Minsta – I think their names were Jon and Phyllis Stein – in any event, it was the MSM’s wet dream come true! (TROOOLY!)

    • QoT 3.1

      IF Paddy did do as you say as regards job availability

      It was remiss of me to not link to the story in my original post – here it is. (I’d like to thank TV3 for having an actually-functional search engine on their site.)

  4. Te Reo Putake 4

    I’ve canvassed the room, and it’s evenly divided. The poweful ABQ faction are adamant that anybody but Queenie should lead the party and have pledged their 20 votes in caucus to the incumbent. The rest of the party are saying ‘shut up, Trevor’. David Shearer is also reported to be evenly divided, declaring a conflict of disinterest.

  5. Tim 5

    @TRP – that declaration of disinterest…was it because it was all too hard? or just that he realised he wasn’t up to it. I spose we may never know. Strum it – play it again Sam (Bo)

  6. One Tāne Huna 6

    I don’t know who you people think you are. Everyone know’s QoT candidacy is nothing without Matthew Hooten’s endorsement.

  7. marsman 7

    And Patrick Gower seemed such a nice intelligent boy until he had that swim in an overseas hotel pool with John Key.

  8. QoT you will have to be an MP first.  You will also need to join the party.

    You could think of running for Hutt South, the Duck’s seat.  I am sure that many would support you … 

  9. Colonial Viper 9

    Not until I’ve finished my first coffee …

    Important note for future reference…

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