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Return to Planet Key

Written By: - Date published: 11:00 am, September 20th, 2012 - 17 comments
Categories: class war, making shit up - Tags:

Does anyone have the number for John Key’s supplier? Because when he answered a question in the House yesterday about poverty and low pay by saying that in his paradise, Planet Key, there would be no toilets and no jobs, my first thought was ‘man, that guy is on some good drugs’. My second thought was he’s gone and made that Planet Key tease into a meme that’ll haunt him.

You don’t want to know what the number 9 hole on the golf course is used for

17 comments on “Return to Planet Key ”

  1. Dr Terry 1

    Planet Key would be naturally and nonsensically platonic and hedonistic.

    • bbfloyd 1.1

      with a thin veneer of homo eroticism to add respectability…. (Ah… just like the old days at Eton)

    • Roy 1.2

      I can’t see any hedonism on having no toilets. I think that could get really, really uncomfortable in a day or two.

  2. ianmac 2

    John is such a funny man. So glad though that he is not holding an important office of any sort. Oh wait!

  3. Pete 3

    The fact there are no toilets on Planet Key explains why everyone there is full of crap.

  4. bbfloyd 4

    I’m not so certain of your assumption regarding the ninth hole, but I would take a one stroke penalty rather than attempt to retrieve anything from the water traps… or spend time hacking at the sand bunkers too deeply…..

    You might dig down to what political strategists like to refer to as “the turd way”…… or dig up johnnies head… you can tell the difference by the amount of glitter scattered around it…

    • David H 4.1

      Typical tory place just don’t look too hard at the seams, and don’t wipe the walls, or the shiny veneer will come off, and the cracks will show. Oh sounds like John Key and National’s Brighter future All veneer and no depth.

  5. brybry 5

    It’s this possibly what the Tories mean when they refer to “trickle down”?

  6. Brian 6

    There are no toilets – clearly we don’t need a “John” Key then…….

  7. Carol 7

    No toilets? James, I see you have put women on the Planet Key golf course. But really, Planet Key seems to me to be an all male world.

    You know women just can’t nip off for a quick slash behind the bushes…. and then there’s the queues. …

    AnD no work?

    So all the women are probably on another planet (along with the brown and black men) doing all the work to keep Key’s planet going…. probably somewhere on Planet Paula.

  8. Populuxe1 8

    Key doesn’t need toilets – there are plenty of people taking the piss out of him as it is.

  9. captain hook 9

    he is going to shit himself in 2014!

  10. MrSmith 10

    I suppose it’s like that when everyone laughs at your jokes, after a while you start think you’re funny, unfortunately for Key he seems to at last have fallen into his own ego, he is only human after all and more human than politician. So now after 4 years very susceptible to the ‘don’t tell him his fly is down syndrome.’

    Over the last few days we have at-least seen the Greens give it back, but Labour are once again waiting on Shearers humor, when Cunliffes satire is what’s needed.

  11. David H 11

    Some Airtime for Cunliffe would be better!!!

  12. BernyD 12

    Civilised satire? based on Observational Facts, He has “Friends in the house” without a doubt.
    Theoretically he could almost change policies with the National “Civilised” swing vote.
    That’d be a coup.
    If he does it openly and with direction they can’t complaign about back room hui’s.

  13. BeeDee 13

    No toilets = no cleaners on minimum wage = no one but the rich on Planet Key.

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