Royal Move

It’s great to hear Prince Harry and Meghan quitting as senior royals and going off on their own.

They are planning to become financially independent, and hope to “carve out a progressive new role within the institution.” Willingly removing themselves from public taxpayer subsidy is laudable, and seeking to be financially independent away from the US$88 billions (approx.) of the family firm is honestly what every adventurous couple should strive for.

They had already made this intent very clear in early 2018.

Their bold move runs counter to my firm view of the United Kingdom Royal Family as a bunch of wastrel inbred sex addicted fools who exist as confections of magazines and publicists and give near-zero to their job as Head of State.

My view was confirmed when the Royal communication responded to their son and daughter-in-law through a media statement thus: “Discussions with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are at an early stage”, and that they understood they wanted to live differently, but “these are complicated issues that will take time to work through.”

The Royal family need this untainted couple very badly. The royal industry which makes its living projecting the undead ghost of Queen Elizabeth nightly onto British television screens needs Prince Harry and Meghan to secure their redemption after the harrowing disgrace and withdrawal from public life of Prince Andrew late last year. Harry and William alone kept the hope of the royal idea alive after the death of their mother Princess Diana.

Directly after the Prince Andrew debacle, there were quick calls for Prince Charles to take control of the centre.

So Prince Charles apparently called his mum from New Zealand to get her to strip Andrew of everything and send him packing, which she did. Thanks mummy.

But Prince Charles is already 71 and Queen Elizabeth is 93. So they need Prince Harry’s Royal blood transfusion like the Playboy empire needed Hugh Hefner to get another “wife” every 18 months: It literally keeps the blood flowing. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge probably donate daily pints to keep Prince Philip’s sinewy blue fingers twitching.

When the Royal family were a thing in the 1950s, we thronged to them in our hundreds of thousands. It’s beautiful Pathe footage.

When the Prince of Wales and Camilla toured the Auckland waterfront in November last year, the assembled people would’ve been hard pressed to make a Hockey team.

In an alternative universe with a thoughtful and coherent monarch as leader, the Queen or Prince Regent would have been a strong and coherent voice throughout the entire Brexit debacle. They have offered pretty much nothing, and the country remains in chaos despite the recent election. It was precisely their job to lead at that point.

The faster this lot are reduced to one household in one palace so tour operators can continue to load wheelbarrows of believers to worship in this palace stuffed with the last of England’s gibbering, gilded, overfed, oversexed, shrunken-headed pancake-makeup zombies, the better.

At least Prince Harry and Meghan get it.

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