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Simon Bridges is seeking to join the Labour Party

Written By: - Date published: 6:30 am, April 1st, 2019 - 32 comments
Categories: national, Politics, Simon Bridges, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags:

The Standard understands from two reliable sources that Simon Bridges has applied for membership of the Labour Party.

More news as it comes to hand …

32 comments on “Simon Bridges is seeking to join the Labour Party”

  1. Rae 1

    Apparently he’s been given the bum’s rush and is currently in talks with John Tamihere

  2. WeTheBleeple 2

    Ardern states that this is a perfect opportunity to dissolve partisan barriers and come together as a new united New Zealand.

    https://giphy.com/gifs/michael-top-everything-KEhIB4JWqqV9u

  3. Incognito 3

    Could be worse, it could be JC. She would be like a Trojan horse trying to destroy Labour from the inside. She’s poison, that woman. Simon OTOH needs mentorship and kindness. Sir Michael Cullen would be an excellent mentor for Simon IMHO and he might even teach him how to be a sharp wit instead of a slick git. Nah, I’m dreaming …

  4. peterh 4

    When the next prefered PM poll comes out he may want to hide under a rock

    • mac1 4.1

      I did feel for the guy when the crowd at the CHCH memorial service on Friday stood to honour Jacinda Ardern at the beginning of her speech.

      Meanwhile the sun is shining, the grapes are being harvested and I can celebrate 46 years membership of the NZLP- more years than Bridges has been alive!

    • Blacklist 4.2

      I think they already live under rocks.

  5. MEDIA RELEASE: National announce closure of their flagship Epsom store.

    Once the pride of the group, the Epsom franchise has performed poorly over recent years, with consumers saying it offers nothing different from National’s other stores.

    It’s offerings are seen as transparently thin and often so easily seen through they may as well be holograms.

    National’s leader, Simon Bridges, says he has been asked to take over the franchise in the wind down period as this idea worked really well when one of his predecessors, Ol’ Don Brash, was becoming embarrassing at work functions, complaining about the lack of corn beef sandwiches and stripping down to his singlet and challenging the cleaning staff to debates on free speech.

    Mr Bridges is ecstatic at his demotion, saying that “Simon Bridges has heard it said that Simon Bridges is the right man for the job, but until now, nobody knew what job. Choice, eh!

    Current store manager, David Seyless, was available for comment, but nobody wanted to hear from him. He was last heard muttering to himself about hate speech, specifically complaining about the 99% of voters who say they hate ACT and all it stands for.

    ENDS

  6. Ad 6

    You’ll also love the one with NZSUperFund taking over both light rail and City Rail Link.

    https://www.greaterauckland.org.nz/2019/04/01/nz-super-fund-to-take-over-crl/

  7. Ankerrawshark 7

    Trp lol

  8. patricia bremner 8

    Thanks TS for LOLS.

  9. cleangreen 9

    Happy April fool’s day folks.

    Plenty of jobs at Kiwi rail being offered here, but we wouldn’t trust Bridges there either!!!!!!.

    This article just shows how short sighted National and their errant ‘Minister of transport Steven Joyce’ was when he cut funding and forcing KiwiRails Management to sack all those engineers in 2016 by closing the most extensive rail engineering workshop in NZ ‘Hillside Workshops’. National are just trash.

    Labour are now left to clean up the mess now seeking more back again now ..!!

    https://amp-rnz-co-nz.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/amp.rnz.co.nz/article/760edab7-427f-4d03-bcb6-7676b9866210?amp_js_v=a2&amp_gsa=1#referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&amp_tf=From%20%251%24s

  10. Deep Purple – No One Came – YouTube

  11. Jess NZ 11

    Hope he’s not burning his Bridges 🙂

  12. Sacha 12

    Can they swap him for Nash?

  13. KJT 13

    Must be April 1st.

    I heard Richardson, on morning report, supporting leave for domestic violence victims!!!!

  14. Stuart Munro. 14

    …and in other news, Doc have suspended their 1080 program after NZ’s Cryptofascist Alliance declared war on possums. “Bloody Australian immigrants ruin everything,” an unnamed spokesman said, “We’re going to deal with them.”

  15. bwaghorn 15

    This post just turned up on my Google news feed . 1st time on my feed.

  16. SHG 16

    Just say no to stupid April 1 posts.

  17. WeTheBleeple 17

    My favorite April fools product:

    TDI Tattoo spell checker

    https://www.travelinsurancedirect.com.au/blog/tid-spellchecker-download?ranMID=41804&ranEAID=3342550&ranSiteID=5iIgM3JW7X0-ZSZQuHsJrSd8q.Td0_lQyg&partnerCode=5iIgM3JW7X0&siteID=5iIgM3JW7X0-ZSZQuHsJrSd8q.Td0_lQyg

    I imagined it different than they did. But they did come up with the idea.

    I thought of some dupe gets a tattoo then uses the app to check the spelling. 😀

  18. ken 18

    He could be Minister of Silly Talks.

  19. WeTheBleeple 19

    And the biggest joke of the day is a true story

    Fox News headline: Trump Cuts US Aid to 3 Mexican Countries.

  20. peterlepaysan 20

    Ah, ha. So now I know why acts of parliament become effective on 1st of April.

    Interesting coindence.

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