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Tackling the big issues

Written By: - Date published: 9:53 am, February 12th, 2011 - 59 comments
Categories: exports, john key, Satire - Tags:

Key: So, Gillard’s coming. Are we talking about a single economic zone?
Groser: Umm. Not exactly. You’re talking about mobile roaming charges.
Key: Christ, Tim. We’re really racking up wins for Kiwi exporters here, aren’t we?
Captain Panicpants: Your numbers with women are down over Hurley. They say you sounded disloyal and they empathise with Bronagh.
Key: Right. Call the missus. We’ll do something cutsie and distracting.

59 comments on “Tackling the big issues”

  1. Rosy 1

    “We’ll do something cutsie and distracting.”
    Strange timing after the hot chicks and fringe benefits of being warney or woods. Not.

    • ianmac 1.1

      Cutsie and distracting? I thought that the tone of the writing on Stuff was derisory. NO?

      • Marty G 1.1.1

        yeah I thought Stuff’s tone was subtly derisory, but it’s reporting an article in a woman’s mag, which is clearly Key’s attempt to rehabilitate his image as a family man.

        • Puddleglum 1.1.1.1

          I don’t know about “family man”. If I left my wife at home with swine flu while I went and played golf with the son (I don’t have one) I’m not sure that would be the way to her heart.

          On another thread, I mentioned that he’d probably do something family/women friendly like a photo-op for breast cancer week. I was wrong on two counts.

          1. It’s breast cancer awareness month (not week); and,

          2. It comes too late in the year (October) to resuscitate his image right now (though it would coincide, again, with the start of the election campaign).

          Then again, there’s also ‘Mo-vember’. John Key growing a Mo’? Phil Goff regrowing his? See who ends up with the thickest moustache by election day and the winner becomes PM?

          Pita Sharples has a head start of course and poor old Rodney is already struggling to get enough hair on his head. Not sure about Russel – has he started shaving yet? Winston could promise to first try to coalesce with the biggest moustache (I imagine he’d decline to enter the competition as it would distract from his winning smile and double-breasted suit.).

          I’m joking but, to be honest, nothing would surprise me now. If such a contest happened I have the scary feeling that it could be crucial in deciding the election – it would certainly dominate the media’s coverage of the election.

          • Pascal's bookie 1.1.1.1.1

            I’m joking but, to be honest, nothing would surprise me now. If such a contest happened I have the scary feeling that it could be crucial in deciding the election – it would certainly dominate the media’s coverage of the election.

            It would be pure catnip to the gallery.

          • felix 1.1.1.1.2

            I’m not entirely against this idea actually.

            If we’ve sunk so low as a people that we have to choose a leader from the puddle-deep pool of Key, Goff, Norman, Peters, Hide et al then fuck it why not decide by ‘tache growing?

            Anyone got a better idea? Rock paper scissors (or bum fanny cock) perhaps?

    • sweetdisorder 1.2

      What a lovely story (Valentines with John and Bing Bing). Thanks for the link.

      • felix 1.2.1

        It’s not lovely sd.

        He calls her “Bing Bing” because he can’t pronounce her name. It’s disgusting.

        As for this: ““For our 13th wedding anniversary John went to New York and picked out 13 diamonds for a ring

        Yeah right, I can just see John picking out diamonds. What a joke. More like “Just give me something a woman will like, I’m off brothel crawling so have it ready by Tuesday”

        • sweetdisorder 1.2.1.1

          felix, the funny thing is I am not the audience of this story, it is aimed at the people that buy the ‘womans mags’. Its a nice happy fluff piece about JK and his family. So in that regard with reference to the intended audience it is a total win for team blue; where are the same sort of stories for Phil?

          Secondly, with such a vivid imagination have you ever considered writing fiction yourself?

          • Zetetic 1.2.1.1.1

            sweetdisorder: “I love you for spinning me to hide your lack of real achievements”

          • felix 1.2.1.1.2

            Ha! Don’t you know you’re the ideal target for Key’s spin sd?

            Sycophantic, fawning, slurping supporter that you are, you go all giddy at the knees over a Big John story even when it’s a puff piece in a stupid magazine that you don’t read.

            Can’t get much more perfect a target than that.

            • Anne 1.2.1.1.2.1

              “Sycophantic, fawning, slurping supporter that you are,…”.

              So glad you’re back felix. Missed your wonderful prose…

        • Deadly_NZ 1.2.1.2

          It’s Not bing bing it’s more like Bling Bling

  2. Monty 2

    What I love about you guys here is your total obsession with John Key. Very rare we ever hear anything about Goff which just goes to show how irrelevant he really is.

    • Marty G 2.1

      we talk about Goff all the time /category/government-and-politics/politicans/phil-goff/

      but this site isn’t about mindlessly praising people. if you want that read john armstrong.

      if we’re not in the business of praise, we’re in the business of critique and naturally we critique the leader of the other side the most. although most of what we write about goff is criticism too.

    • Zetetic 2.2

      you remind me of this:

      • ianmac 2.2.1

        So that’s who Monty really is! And I thought he was just an apologist employed by John Key.

    • Well if you want to read about Goff Monty just read the Herald . Never a day when they are not running him down . For the National bible to be continuously denigrating one person most days mean one thing.They are scared he will be elected. Over the last month Goff has proved he is not only a good leader but is being recognized as such.I, picking the next polls will,show this . If not then they are fixed.

    • bbfloyd 2.4

      hey monty,,, what is it about this discussion you don’t understand? is the obvious connection with the main post? do you fail to understand that, if he who deserves no name decides to put his family life into print, then people will have opinions about that? and express them without feeling the need to wander off into completely irrelevant subjects? does this create an emotional crisis precipitating the need in you to attempt to divert the subject matter away from the pain?

      why don’t you stick to kiwiblog? it’s tailormade for entellectual and emotional refugees just like you… the reduction of your stress levels will add years to your life.

  3. rainman 3

    I clicked the link. Excuse me while I go and vomit.

    • Akldnut 3.1

      “Plus my charm and good looks help.”

      Puleeeease monkey!!!!! (finger down throat) now you’re only playing with youreslf.

      antispam – key You gotta be fucking joking me

  4. Tel 4

    Perhaps Bronagh caught swine flu from a chauvinist pig?

  5. Lanthanide 5

    That article is bullshit anyway:

    “As Bronagh Key lay in bed recovering from swine flu, her husband, Prime Minister John Key, took to the golf course with son Max.

    Mrs Key fell ill as the family celebrated Christmas at their Hawaiian hideaway and was treated with antibiotics.”

    You don’t treat the flu with antibiotics. The reporter (or Key) probably made the illness up.

    • DJames 5.1

      The way they worded it was stupid and it’s a fluff piece used to fill in the paper.

      But antibiotics might be needed if complications happen from the flu like pneumonia. If she really did take antibotics they should of just mentioned she had complications instead of treating people like they’re dumb. http://www.moh.govt.nz/moh.nsf/indexmh/influenza-a-h1n1-questions

      “Our main strength is that we try to see things from the other person’s perspective and adapt to changes,” he confides. It’s too bad he doesn’t do this in politics.

    • Marty G 5.2

      she did get swine flu but, yeah obviously not treated with anti-biotics

      • Colonial Viper 5.2.1

        I think its pretty safe to say that every year some people with the flu end up getting prescribed antibiotics. No, its of no use whatsoever (I’m excluding those cases where there is a secondary infection where it might actually be useful) and every GP knows better by this day and age. But it still happens.

        I also want to know if Bronagh had been immunised against the swine flu.

        • Anne 5.2.1.1

          Doesn’t necessarily stop you getting it. It may just reduce the severity of the symptoms. I had a jab last April yet still got swine flu in August/September.

          • Colonial Viper 5.2.1.1.1

            Possibly, though as far as I know there’s no evidence that the swine flu vaccine reduces the severity of symptoms if they finally eventuate. Esp since vaccinations are approved on their ability to prevent disease, not reduce disease symptoms. Anyways I think its all been merged into the standard flu jab mix now.

            • Anne 5.2.1.1.1.1

              Yes, it’s all merged into the standard jab mix now. It was my doctor who opined it would have been worse if I’d not had the jab. All I could say say was: it was bad enough as it was thank-you. 🙂

  6. QoT 6

    Holy shit, awkward PM body language is awkward.

    • orange whip? 6.1

      Awkward alright, like he’s not allowed to touch her. Or doesn’t want to.

      • Colonial Viper 6.1.1

        Isn’t allowed to. After that Liz Hurley comment.

        • QoT 6.1.1.1

          I don’t necessarily want to bash JK’s relationship with his wife, but the posing is just so stiff and artificial – obviously someone behind the camera is stage-managing everything but if he’s just not a naturally affectionate/open guy that way you can’t force it.

          • pollywog 6.1.1.1.1

            I bet Bing Bing’s MILF shake brings all the boys to the yard.

            • QoT 6.1.1.1.1.1

              Why you gotta bring Bronagh Key into it, polly? Not her fault her husband is a plastic smiling-and-waving assassin of NZ’s society, economy and dignity.

            • orange whip? 6.1.1.1.1.2

              Word, Q.

              The way I see it she’s brought herself into the public sphere by taking part in this political promo and is therefore fair game for fair criticism, but there’s no need to get all porno about it.

              • QoT

                I guess so, but what choice does she have? On the one hand I think it’s entirely understandable one spouse will do things or participate in things to help their partner’s career. On the other, this is a service strictly demanded of wives (you’d never have seen a Woman’s Weekly HC/Peter Davis cover, even if HC *had* been persuaded not to strike death with a glare whoever suggested such a damn fool idea.) And there’s plenty to criticise Key on without making it personal about his family.

                • pollywog

                  Key brought Bing Bing into it and made it personal by promoting her MILF like qualities. I’m just acknowledging them because that’s what he, his handlers and the gossip mag wants. It would be rude not to and i’m not a rude man 🙂

                  It’s not a criticism of her, it’s a sad indictment of him that he has to cynically pimp his wife and personal relationship to counter the negative publicity of his recent ‘hotlist’ and mincing brainfarts.

                  From my perspective, being called a MILF is not an insult to Bing Bing. It’s a compliment. It’s saying in a drunken state, and if there was nothing else on offer, i’d prolly give her one ‘cos that’s how we typical Kiwi blokes do and say…eh lads ?

                  It’s no less porno than acknowledging Key’s ‘typical Kiwi bloke’ desire to be Tiger Woods for the ‘fringe benefits’ or Shane Warne for the pleasure of bonking Liz Hurley. For all intents and purposes Key may as well have called Hurley a MILF and admitted his willingness to sleep with as many women as he so desires without any moral obligation to remain faithful to his wife, as Woods did.

                  Given the opportunity to, and his need to ham it up and hog the limelight, i would imagine him clandestinely filming the events for posterity and future reference as no one would believe him otherwise…video or it didn’t happen !

                  The most telling revelation i find in that piece is Key saying…

                  ‘Plus my charm and good looks help’.

                  …as though believing he can perpetually win her and, by inference, the country over by continually playing the patronising, egotistical, narcissistic, arrogant, obnoxious self deprecating git….Yeah John, we all wish our BF’s were hot like you !

                  You and your mate Berlusconi, because of course it’s also his sheer ‘hotness’ that causes 17 yr olds to want to sleep with him. They continuously do it of their own accord because all attractive 17 yr old girls aspire to sleep with lecherous 74 yr old millionaire politicians solely for their ‘hawtness’ and shrivelled up weeners.

                  Fuck no…it’s not about the diamonds…eh ladies ?

                  • QoT

                    From my perspective, being called a MILF is not an insult to Bing Bing.

                    Of course not, because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with reducing a woman to her reproductive capabilities and fuckability. That’s just what “normal kiwi guys do”, after all, which somehow means it has nothing to do with the oppression of women which reduces them to their reproductive capabilities and fuckability OH WAIT.

                    • pollywog

                      Surely, the ladies have an equivalent term for men in relationships or Fathers I’d Like to Fuck…FILF’s, as it were ?

                    • QoT

                      Are you serious?

                      No, pollywog. There ISN’T an equivalent term. Because society doesn’t make a lot of porn aimed at women, because society doesn’t code men exclusively in their roles as semen donors and fucktoys, and because society doesn’t apply double-standard virgin/whore dichotomies, or concepts of men being “owned” by their spouses and/or children, to men which make it ~risque~ to actively consider men-who-are-fathers to be sexual.

                      Not to mention the lack of freedom women have to express possessive lust over men, the innate hetero-privileging of assuming mothers to be hetero, and the undermining of women by reducing them, even when they are fulfilling the “proper” women’s roles of Wives And Mothers, to pussy.

                      Please go read some fucking Feminism 101, would you?

                    • pollywog

                      Nah…She’ll be right QoT. I think i’ll just choose to disbelieve you and if that makes me a dick or a prick or a cock or a tool then so be it.

                      this might interest you. Male equivalent of milf results from google…

                    • orange whip?

                      polly, most of the results on the first page are links to discussions where people say they haven’t heard a convincing one, or don’t know, or that there isn’t really one.

                      Hardly strengthens your (slightly trollish I suspect) case.

                      Anyway why don’t you just listen to what QoT is saying instead of getting defensive – you pulled some sexist shit and you got called on it and now you’ve been schooled on it too.

                      Take your lumps like the man you claim to be. It’s for your growth.

                    • pollywog

                      Jeez whip…guess i’m even too ignorant to realise what sexist shit i got pulled on ?

                      i could go on about pron being equal opportunist, men as fuck buddies or friends with benefits, sugar mommies, cougar culture, western women having as much freedom to express possesive lust as men…

                      …but whatever, it won’t change me to think most mothers are hetero as are most fathers.

                      Perhaps we should push for fucking Feminism 101 🙂 to be included in the school curriculum ?

                    • QoT

                      Polly, surely you are just trolling at this point. No shit, the majority of people who parent are heterosexual, it’s almost like they make up a majority of the population or something.

                      You can talk all the “but women do it too!” crap you like if it pleases you to be wilfully ignorant about sexual double standards in western society. (Yeah, cougar culture, there’s something which is ALL about respecting older women’s sexuality …) but if I keep trying to engage with you like you’re sincere my eyes are going to roll right out of my head. Why don’t you go back to a lesbian bar and hit on partnered women until basic logical and observation skills kick in – or get kicked in for you?

                    • orange whip?

                      Obvious troll is obvious.

                  • pollywog

                    What the fuck do you want from me, men, women and society in general QoT ?

                    this… http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072000/

                    Shit or get off the pot, i say…

                    • QoT

                      Is this you trying to pretend to not be a total troll? 1/10.

                    • pollywog

                      hah…troll my fucking arse bitches, what a cop out !!!

                      i’ll take it then you don’t know what you want from me, men, women and society in general.

                      oh well, holla back when you do…

                    • QoT

                      Sorry, polly, but what the fuck does “what I want” have to do with you not fronting up to being a Neanderthal, insecure little misogynist troll?

                  • pollywog

                    Of course i’m not fronting up to being being a Neanderthal, insecure little misogynist troll?…that’s just silly, cos i’m not !

                    It’s more the fact you can’t expound on what you want, shows you don’t know.

                    You’d rather splash petty insults around, regurgitating “fucking Feminist 101” cliches to display an air of informed superiority thats just not justified while wallowing in your percieved oppression on behalf of all western women.

                    Happy like a fat pig rolling round in it’s own shit trying to smear whatever misguided creature gets close enough to show you any smattering of attention.

                    aww poor wee Queen of Thorns, you’re such a fucking martyr ! You have my sympathy but i’ll reserve my pity unless you really want it.

                    Women hold up half the sky, so how about you put your back into it and shoulder some responsibility. Enough with the pathetic excuses already eh ?

                    • just saying

                      Wow,
                      Quite the outburst.
                      QoT, you’re awfully threatening to the red-neck community. And to the red neck in all of us.
                      More power to your elbow!

  7. Olwyn 7

    Trotter had a piece on this sort of thing in December, which he termed Penn/Morris politics. It amounts to (1) Showing that you care about they same things they care about, and (2) Sympathise with their concerns and they will imagine you are addressing them:

    http://bowalleyroad.blogspot.com/2010/12/politics-is-about-choices-not-tricks.html

    Another story that fits this category is one about Cameron’s kids having nits:

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3389929/Nits-at-No-10-Downing-Street.html

  8. Kevin Welsh 8

    “Our main strength is that we try to see things from the other person’s perspective and adapt to changes,” he confides.

    Pity the fuckwit can’t apply this same logic to politics.

  9. BLiP 9

    病 病 or Bing Bing??? I thought his nick name for her was Ponto Baggins.

  10. Jum 10

    Well that cutesy piece will bring in the women whose own partners/husbands pay them no attention…

    until their daughters go for a job and discover that no matter how clever they are at their work, they’ll still get paid less simply because they’re females. JKeyll said he asks Bronagh’s advice; she may have suggested it – JKeyll winning is more important to her than any damage to women that this government intends to continue inflicting.

    Also, grandmas will fall for that cutesy piece until they’re reminded that if they’re Greypower members they need to fight any attempts at Privatisation (says so on their mission statement), so maybe National isn’t the party for them after all.

    But, I do have to wonder if women are independent thinkers in that they can look past the syrup and spot the marketing fakir behind it.

    Otherwise, shame about our assets. They’re all set to be sold off in 2012. The legislation’s passed. All it needs is a second term and Douglas finishes his grand plan.

    • Rosy 10.1

      “until their daughters go for a job” …
      and on that note:
      http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/168bb664-33c9-11e0-b1ed-00144feabdc0.html#ixzz1Dk3yMPbT

      “Josef Ackermann, chief executive of Deutsche Bank, was right when he said more women should be appointed to top executive roles. But he revealed how far attitudes must change by embellishing his statement with the misplaced and patronising comment that this would make boards “more colourful” and “more beautiful”.”

      I’m sure putting a vase of flowers on the boardroom table would do the trick 😉

  11. ak 11

    “If the cat brings in a mouse, I have to take care of it.”

    The entire population of this country knows exactly what you mean, Bing-bing. His dead mice entrance us all. Bless you both.

  12. Jum 12

    Cat and Mouse, don’t you just love it; Key the cat we the mouse. I’m so grateful to Bronagh for ‘taking care of us’.

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    4 days ago
  • Coronavirus – Cuba shows the way
    We’ve been meaning t write something on Cuba and the coronavirus but have just discovered a very good article on the subject in the US left publication Jacobin.  The article looks at how Cuba, a poor country but one where capitalism has been done away with, is leading the way ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    4 days ago
  • Using privacy law to prevent the death penalty
    In 2018, El Shafee Elsheikh and Alexanda Kotey - two British citizens who had purportedly been stripped of their citizenship by the British government - were captured while fighting for Isis in Syria. The British government then conspired to hand them over to the US, and agreed to provide evidence ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    4 days ago
  • It’s Time For Disaster Socialism.
    Transformers: The disaster of the Great Depression was transformed into a new and fairer society by the democratic socialism of the First Labour Government. The disaster of the Covid-19 Pandemic offers a similar transformative possibility to the Labour-NZ First-Green Government. Seize the time, Jacinda! You will never have a better ...
    4 days ago
  • Skeptical Science New Research for Week #12, 2020
    Tamper with The System? Well, we already are. But there's a difference between accidentally trickling sand into a precision gearbox versus formulating a plan to alter it on the fly with improvements in mind. One action is more or less innocently unscrupulous, the other amenable to earning an easy ...
    4 days ago
  • Avoidable hospitalisations: Helping our health system get through COVID-19
    Associate Prof George Thomson, Louise Delany, Prof Nick Wilson While it is possible that New Zealand can use intense public health controls to eradicate COVID-19 from the country – we must also plan for other scenarios where thousands of New Zealanders are sick – including many urgently hospitalised.1 Better resilience ...
    SciBlogsBy Public Health Expert
    5 days ago
  • Raise the Bar: 10 questions to ask your employer proposing redundancy
    Kia ora my name is Chloe Ann-King* and I am the founder of Raise the Bar, a campaign and non-profit that gives free legal aid, advocacy and tautoko to hospitality workers in Aotearoa. Right now all over our country hospo workers are being fired at will, having shifts cut or being ...
    PosseBy chloeanneking
    5 days ago
  • An equitable way to support business
    The Herald reports that the government is planning to lend billions of dollars to large businesses to keep them operating during the pandemic. As with mortgage relief, this is necessary: we need companies to stay in business, to reduce the economic damage and help things get restarted again when this ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    5 days ago
  • Hard News: Together Alone
    We're about to do something unprecedented as a nation. We hope that by taking this extraordinary action before a single life in New Zealand has been lost to the deadly novel virus we will save tens of thousands of lives. Our  lives. We'll do it together, in households, in isolation ...
    5 days ago
  • Why timing is everything: ‘A time to refrain from embracing’ starts today
    “There is a time for everything,    and a season for every activity under the heavens.”So writes the author of Ecclesiastes, a book in the Old Testament that’s counted as a ‘wisdom’ book and written as if by an unnamed king of Jerusalem. But who would have thought there would be a time ...
    PunditBy Tim Watkin
    5 days ago
  • Dealing with the Covid-19 Tsunami.
    I was surprised when the prime minister described the Economic Response to Covid-19 package as the ‘largest peacetime government spend in New Zealand's history’. Reflecting – checking through history – I realised that the term ‘spend’ was crucial and the package had no income tax cuts. Even so, it has ...
    PunditBy Brian Easton
    6 days ago
  • What about renters?
    The government today announced the latest part of its pandemic relief package: a six-month mortgage holiday for people whose incomes have been affected by the pandemic. Which is great, because these people are going to need help, and that's what the government should be doing. At the same time, it ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    6 days ago
  • Living within our means.
    Years ago the Argentine sociologist Carlos Weisman wrote a book titled “Living within our Means.” It was a critique of Argentine society that focused on the paradoxical question of why, in a land of plenty, there was so much economic instability, inequality, corruption and political turmoil. His conclusion was basically ...
    KiwipoliticoBy Pablo
    6 days ago
  • Transparency and the pandemic
    Parliament will be leading by example and adjourning tomorrow after a special sitting to consider an epidemic notice and state of emergency. Day-to-day oversight of the government will be delegated to a select committee. But that's not the only overight mechanism. The OIA will still be law, and (so far) ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    6 days ago
  • ‘Overjoyed’: a leading health expert on New Zealand’s coronavirus shutdown, and the challengin...
    Michael Baker, University of Otago Overjoyed. That’s not a word epidemiologists normally use, but that’s how I felt after hearing Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern’s announcement about New Zealand’s COVID-19 shutdown of everything except essential services for at least four weeks from midnight on Wednesday. More than anything, I just ...
    SciBlogsBy Public Health Expert
    6 days ago
  • One way to solve the housing crisis
    How much homelessness is caused by house hoarding? We're about to find out. The pandemic has destroyed tourism, which means that house hoarders who put their hoarded properties up as short-term tourist rentals are now offering them on the ordinary rental market:Property investors are pulling properties from Airbnb to offer ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    6 days ago
  • The pros and cons of planting trees to address global warming
    This is a re-post from Yale Climate Connections by Bruce Lieberman It seems like such a simple, straightforward, empowering idea: plant trees – a lot of trees – all over the world, and watch the planet’s temperature fall. Who doesn’t love a tree or two, even far more – the right ...
    6 days ago
  • Not a grand coalition, but a government of national salvation
    According to Newshub, Simon Bridges is open to joining a “grand coalition” with Labour as we hunker down to go into a month long lockdown. The idea is sound. Before now, the role of the opposition was to scrutinise and oppose. In the context of what almost amounts to a ...
    PunditBy Liam Hehir
    7 days ago
  • Raise the Bar: hospitality workers & wage subsidy entitlements
    Kia ora my name is Chloe Ann-King* and I am the founder of Raise the Bar, a campaign and non-profit that gives free legal aid, advocacy and tautoko to hospitality workers in Aotearoa. Right now all over our country hospo workers are being fired at will, having shifts cut or ...
    PosseBy chloeanneking
    1 week ago
  • Lifting our game against COVID-19
    We need to be lifting our game against COVID-19. You and I need to help those working to prevent the spread of COVID-19 while they’re trying to lift the testing and treatment efforts. We don’t want to be playing this game running backwards. Best to play it solidly forward, from ...
    SciBlogsBy Grant Jacobs
    1 week ago
  • The maths and ethics of minimising COVID-19 deaths in NZ
    Prof Tony Blakely, Prof Michael Baker, and Prof Nick Wilson The NZ Government must do more to clearly articulate its COVID-19 strategy: eradication or ‘flattening the curve’ mitigation. But to do so means understanding the maths and ethics of both these strategies. In this blog, we adapt our work for ...
    SciBlogsBy Public Health Expert
    1 week ago
  • All aboard the Covid Train
    A few days ago I was starting to write something about the pandemic, which now seems unconscionable. It took the form of a letter to an agony aunt:“Dear Deidre, I have an ugly confession. I am quite excited by Covid-19.”This is how the piece went:“I’m not a psychopath, honest. Although the ...
    PunditBy Phil Vine
    1 week ago
  • 2020 SkS Weekly Climate Change & Global Warming Digest #12
    Story of the Week... Toon of the Week... Climate Feedback Article Review... Coming Soon on SkS... Climate Feedback Claim Reviews... SkS Week in Review... Poster of the Week... Story of the Week... In Just 10 Years, Warming Has Increased the Odds of Disasters The likelihood of extreme events ...
    1 week ago
  • We are all socialists now
    Last week, the government announced a $12 billion initial package to support people during the pandemic. Today, the Reserve Bank is buying government bonds - effectively printing money - to keep up the money supply during the crisis. Normally such moves would have the right apoplectic. Instead, the National Party ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • A plea to experts: safeguard your role in public life
    I am a pundit, somebody who opines and comments on the news. There are no real qualifications to punditry though having a rudimentary way with words and good general knowledge helps. That is one reason there is a constant oversupply of would-be pundits and why it is quite hard to ...
    PunditBy Liam Hehir
    1 week ago
  • Enlightenment when?
    I recently encountered the following prescription from a Faculty of Education at a leading New Zealand University. At first I wondered if it was another product of the postmodern generator (http://www.elsewhere.org/journal/pomo/), designed to create gibberish in the postmodern form, but I’m told it is real: The “schooled” society: Towards the ...
    SciBlogsBy Michael Corballis
    1 week ago
  • What the Crisis Can teach Us
    The coronavirus pandemic has of course had a major impact on individual lives and on societies as a whole. But, long after the crisis has passed (assuming it does), we will begin to realise that its real and lasting significance lies in the lessons it has taught us, if only ...
    Bryan GouldBy Bryan Gould
    1 week ago
  • Hammering home measures to stop COVID-19
    COVID-19 has plunged Aotearoa New Zealand (indeed, the world) into territory that, while maybe not totally unprecedented, certainly hasn’t been seen during the lifetimes of most of us here today. Our borders are closed to non-citizens, we’re being told not to gather in groups of more than 500 outside/100 inside, ...
    PunditBy Andrew Geddis
    1 week ago
  • What does ‘level two’ mean – and why does it matter?
    For the last few weeks, I’ve been urging you to prepare yourself, your family, business, and community for Covid-19. Now it’s time for real action.  Yesterday the director-general of health Dr Ashley Bloomfield announced another 13 confirmed cases of Covid-19 in New Zealand, bringing our total to date to 52. ...
    SciBlogsBy Siouxsie Wiles
    1 week ago
  • 2020 SkS Weekly Climate Change & Global Warming News Roundup #12
    A chronological listing of news articles linked to on the Skeptical Science Facebook Page during the past week, i.e., Sun, Mar 15, 2020 through Sat, Mar 21, 2020 Editor's Pick Now Isn’t the Time to Forget About Our Climate Change Efforts   Tasha Tilberg, Lindsey Wixson, and Liu Wen photographed ...
    1 week ago
  • Is the Guardian becoming  a real newspaper again?
    by Jan Rivers The article has been corrected to show that it was Ewen MacAskill, former Guardian journalist and not Luke Harding who travelled to meet Edward Snowden with journalist Glenn Greenwald and filmmaker Laura Poitras.  Some of the Guardian’s well-known journalists who did not sign the protest letter are ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago
  • Life asserts itself regardless
    by Cultural Worker Late March 2020 amidst the virus. With gigs crashing and burning all around it was without much hope that I called a long standing rest home booking: “ Hi, I’m supposed to be entertaining at your place this afternoon – is it still on?” “”If you don’t ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago
  • Politics, the possible, and the pandemic
    Whenever people demand real change from their politicians, we're told that "politics is the art of the possible". The implication is that change isn't possible, so we'd better just get used to the sucky status quo. But now that there's a pandemic, a lot of things we were previously told ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • The Only Way Through This Crisis Is Together.
    Together: In leading New Zealand through the Covid-19 Pandemic, the Prime Minister could do a lot worse than allow herself to be guided by the spirit of collective sacrifice and co-operation that animated the New Zealanders of 80 years ago. Most Kiwis alive today have had no opportunity to prove their ...
    1 week ago
  • GFC vs Covid-19
    It is said that generals fight the last war. In the case of the early stages of the Global Financial Crisis (GFC) they had learned from the Great Depression of the 1930s and they fought intelligently and successfully. Later their advice would be ignored in favour of the Austerians who ...
    PunditBy Brian Easton
    1 week ago
  • Nobody Left Behind.
    Solidarity Forever: All over the world, the arrival of the Covid-19 virus has exposed the fragility of the walls we erect around ourselves and our loved ones. It has shattered our illusions of autonomy and revealed to us how utterly dependent we all are on other human-beings. Finally, we see ...
    1 week ago
  • Rebuilding a truly “Democratic” counter, or a “moderate Republican” bolt-hol...
    Looking across the various arguments for/against the leading candidates to take the Democratic Nomination, you might honestly be very hard pressed to tell. There are a number of things that have now started happening since Amy Klobuchar and “Mayor Pete” Buttigieg both threw the towel in and immediately (and ...
    exhALANtBy exhalantblog
    2 weeks ago
  • Abortion law reform a win for women
    by Daphna Whitmore Abortion is no longer in the Crimes Act in New Zealand. The law reform passed yesterday and now abortion is a medical matter between a woman and her doctor. Many women’s groups and progressive people have campaigned for reform for decades. The women’s liberation movement and some ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    2 weeks ago
  • How to spot bogus science stories and read the news like a scientist
    Doug Specht, University of Westminster and Julio Gimenez, University of Westminster When fake news, misreporting and alternative facts are everywhere, reading the news can be a challenge. Not only is there plenty of misinformation about the coronavirus pandemic, climate change and other scientific topics floating around social media, you also ...
    SciBlogsBy Guest Author
    2 weeks ago
  • Why New Zealand needs to continue decisive action to contain coronavirus
    Michael Baker, University of Otago and Nick Wilson, University of Otago With some of the toughest border restrictions and a newly-announced NZ$500 million boost to health services, New Zealand is among a small number of countries with a strategy to contain the COVID-19 pandemic. New Zealand is also fortunate in ...
    SciBlogsBy Public Health Expert
    2 weeks ago
  • Parliament and the pandemic II
    As expected, the government has introduced a sessional order to allow Parliament to operate during the pandemic. You can read it on the Order Paper here, but the short version is that questions and motions can be filed electronicly, select committees can work remotely, and the the Business Committee can ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • When a virus goes viral: pros and cons to the coronavirus spread on social media
    Axel Bruns, Queensland University of Technology; Daniel Angus, Queensland University of Technology; Timothy Graham, Queensland University of Technology, and Tobias R. Keller, Queensland University of Technology News and views about coronavirus has spread via social media in a way that no health emergency has done before. Platforms like Twitter, Facebook, ...
    SciBlogsBy Guest Author
    2 weeks ago
  • How to survive 14 days of self-isolation
    So you’ve recently returned from overseas, come into contact with someone who tested positive, got a bit of a dry cough yourself or perhaps just want to self isolate for 14 days to avoid other people who might have COVID-19. Here are a few tips and tricks to help get ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Abortion Legislation Bill passes third reading
    Some fave speeches:     ...
    Boots TheoryBy Stephanie Rodgers
    2 weeks ago
  • Why Leadership Matters – More Than Anything.
    Our Good Fortune: Precisely because she has never been an ideologue (she calls herself a “pragmatic idealist”) Jacinda Ardern has a political nimbleness and spontaneity which, when infused with her exceptional emotional intelligence, produces spectacular demonstrations of leadership. Jacinda's empathic political personality contrasts sharply with the less-than-sunny ways of her ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Skeptical Science New Research for Week #11, 2020
    2 weeks ago
  • 68-51
    The Abortion Legislation Bill has just passed its third reading, 68-51. NZ First MPs bailed because their referendum amendment didn't pass, but there were plenty of MPs to provide a majority without them. The bill is a long way from perfect - most significantly, it subjects pregnant people who need ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • The ‘herd immunity’ route to fighting coronavirus is unethical and potentially dangerous
    As most of the world tries to suppress the coronavirus spread, some countries are going it alone – trying to manage the pandemic through so-called “herd immunity”. Herd immunity means letting a large number of people catch a disease, and hence develop immunity to it, to stop the virus spreading. ...
    SciBlogsBy Guest Author
    2 weeks ago
  • Eight new COVID-19 cases today. It’s no surprise when you look at some numbers
    So, as I sit at home with a very, very slight headache (i.e. not at work when I would otherwise be so), the now familiar figure of Ashley Bloomfield reports eight new confirmed cases of COVID-19  including two in Waikato. A surprise, given that we had just twelve yesterday? No. ...
    SciBlogsBy Marcus Wilson
    2 weeks ago
  • The WINZ Paradox versus the new COVID-19 Reality: Get real people, seriously…
    Many who advocated for, and voted for, the current Coalition – particularly those who voted Labour and the Green Party – expected to see a sea change in the reality of social services. A real, deep change of attitude, approach of process through which the system negotiates the difficult and ...
    exhALANtBy exhalantblog
    2 weeks ago

  • Government supports Air NZ freight flights
    The Government has fast-tracked up to $1 million to help Air New Zealand move urgent freight to and from New Zealand, with the first flight to Shanghai leaving tonight, Transport Minister Phil Twyford announced today. Phil Twyford says it’s crucial that trade in vital goods such as medical supplies and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    8 hours ago
  • Tariff concessions on COVID-19 related products
    New Zealand will temporarily remove tariffs on all medical and hygiene imports needed for the COVID-19 response. Trade and Export Growth Minister David Parker and Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Kris Faafoi said today that the New Zealand Customs Service will apply tariff concessions to all diagnostic reagents and testing ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Clarification of modification to wage subsidy scheme
    Minister of Finance Grant Robertson has clarified that the changes to the wage subsidy scheme announced yesterday mean that employers should be passing on the full subsidy to workers, except in the case where the person’s normal income is less than the level of the subsidy. “We still want employers ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Face masks flowing to DHBs
    Medical face masks from the national reserve supply are now being distributed to District Health Boards, while at the same time local production is being ramped up. Yesterday more than 640,000 masks were sent to DHBS – that is an immediate two week supply, with more to follow in coming ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • COVID-19: Further steps to protect New Zealanders’ jobs
    The Government has made modifications to the wage subsidy scheme to ensure people don’t lose their jobs during the national lockdown. These changes will soften the impact of COVID-19 on workers, families and businesses, and position them to exit the lockdown and look to recovery, Finance Minister Grant Robertson says. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Tax relief for Mycoplasma Bovis farmers
    Farmers whose herds were culled in response to the outbreak of Mycoplasma bovis will be able to minimise the tax treatment of their income in some circumstances. Revenue Minister Stuart Nash says Cabinet has agreed to change the law. It means farmers may be eligible to spread their income over ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • $27 million for NGOs and community groups to continue providing essential services
    A $27 million dollar package, effective immediately, is being provided to social sector services and community groups to ensure they can continue to provide essential support to communities as we stay at home as a nation to stop the spread of COVID-19, Minister for Social Development Carmel Sepuloni announced. “At ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Statement on guilty plea of March 15 terrorist
    “The guilty plea today will provide some relief to the many people whose lives were shattered by what happened on March 15,” Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said. “These guilty pleas and conviction bring accountability for what happened and also save the families who lost loved ones, those who were injured, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • COVID-19 updates
    The Prime Minister is holding daily press conferences to update New Zealanders on the Government's response to COVID-19. Links to videos and transcripts of these updates below. These transcripts also include All of Government press conferences led by Director Ministry of Health's Director-General of Health Dr Ashley Bloomfield. 25 March: Live update from the Prime ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Police numbers break through 10,000 mark
    Frontline Police numbers have broken through the 10,000 mark for the first time in history as officers step forward to keep the community safe during the COVID19 lockdown. “Two Police graduations in Auckland and Wellington in the past week have been conducted in unprecedented circumstances,” Police Minister Stuart Nash said. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Urgent tax measures for economic recovery
    Urgent legislation has been passed to support the package of economic and social measures needed to recover from the impact of the coronavirus outbreak. “The COVID-19 Response (Taxation and Social Assistance Urgent Measures) Bill will cushion New Zealanders from the worst economic impacts of the COVID-19 outbreak,” said Revenue Minister ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Further support for farmers and growers as drought persists
    From tomorrow, Government support for farmers and growers affected by drought will be expanded and extended across the country, with access to Rural Assistance Payments (RAPS) available throughout the North Island, parts of the South Island and the Chatham Islands, Social Development Minister Carmel Sepuloni announced. “These challenging conditions have ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • COVID-19: Temporary changes to Education Act
    Parliament has passed amendments to legislation that give the Secretary of Education stronger powers to act in the fight to limit the spread of COVID-19, Education Minister Chris Hipkins said today. “They are part of a suite of changes passed under the COVID-19 Response (Urgent Management Measures) Legislation Bill,” Chris ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Canada, Australia, Chile, Brunei and Myanmar join NZ and Singapore in committing to keeping supply a...
    Canada, Australia, Chile, Brunei and Myanmar have joined forces with New Zealand and Singapore by committing to keep supply chains open and remove any existing trade restrictive measures on essential goods, especially medical supplies, in the face of the Covid-19 crisis.  Trade and Export Growth Minister David Parker today welcomed ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • COVID-19: Rent increase freeze and more protection for tenants
    Immediate freeze on rent increases Tenancies will not be terminated during the lock-down period, unless the parties agree, or in limited circumstances Tenants who had previously given notice can stay in their if they need to stay in the tenancy during the lock-down period Tenants will still be able to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Working together to protect businesses and workers
    As New Zealand unites to lock-down in the fight against COVID-19, the Finance Minister is urging all businesses and workers to stay connected over the next four weeks. “We understand the extreme pressure many businesses are under right now. I know most business owners think of their workers as family ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • State of National Emergency declared to fight COVID-19
    A State of National Emergency has been declared across the country as the Government pulls out all the stops to curtail the spread of COVID-19. “Today we put in place our country’s second ever State of National Emergency as we fight a global pandemic, save New Zealanders’ lives and prevent ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Prime Minister’s statement on State of National Emergency and Epidemic Notice
    Mr Speaker I wish to make a Ministerial Statement under Standing Order 347 in relation to the recent declaration of a State of National Emergency. Having considered the advice of the Director Civil Defence Emergency Management, the Minister of Civil Defence declared a State of National Emergency for the whole of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Deadline for domestic travel extended
    People needing to travel on domestic flights, trains and Cook Strait ferries to get home before the country moves into level 4 lock-down tomorrow night will be able to continue using the passenger services until midnight on Friday, Transport Minister Phil Twyford said today. Domestic passenger services, particularly ferries, have ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Mortgage holiday and business finance support schemes to cushion COVID impacts
    The Government, retail banks and the Reserve Bank are today announcing a major financial support package for home owners and businesses affected by the economic impacts of COVID-19. The package will include a six month principal and interest payment holiday for mortgage holders and SME customers whose incomes have been ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Government working to keep air freight moving
    Minister of Transport Phil Twyford has today announced details of the Government’s support package to keep key air freight moving and ensure New Zealanders retain access to essential goods during the four-week level 4 lockdown. “The Government is working with airlines and air freight operators to ensure New Zealand’s key ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • New Zealand moves to COVID-19 Alert Level 3, then Level 4 in 48 hours
    New Zealand moved up to COVID-19 Alert Level 3 – Restrict New Zealand to move up to COVID-19 Alert Level 4 – Eliminate, in 48 hours Two-staged approach to give people and businesses time to prepare  Level 3, from tomorrow Non-essential businesses must close All events and gatherings must be ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Prime Minister: COVID-19 Alert Level increased
    Good afternoon  The Cabinet met this morning to discuss our next actions in the fight against COVID-19.  Like the rest of the world, we are facing the potential for devastating impacts from this virus. But, through decisive action, and through working together, do we have a small window to get ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Govt takes significant economic decisions as NZ readies for Alert Level 4 in COVID-19 fight
    The Government is announcing significant further support for the economy, workers and businesses as the country unites to prepare for Alert Level 4 in the fight against COVID-19. Cabinet today agreed to remove the cap on the Government’s wage subsidy scheme, which will inject a further $4 billion into the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Govt backs RBNZ move to support economy with lower interest rates
    The Government is backing the Reserve Bank’s latest action to support the economy by reducing longer-term interest rates, meaning lower costs for businesses and mortgage holders, and a lower currency to help our exporters. The Minister of Finance has signed a memorandum of understanding and a letter of indemnity with ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government statement on commercial cooperation during COVID-19
    The Government has asked the Commerce Commission to take account of the exceptional circumstances created by COVID-19 when monitoring business behaviour in coming weeks.   “The purpose of my request to the Commerce Commission is to make sure businesses can work together in ways that will allow them to provide ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Zealand temporarily closes diplomatic posts in Barbados and Myanmar due to COVID-19
    The New Zealand Government has temporarily closed its High Commission in Bridgetown, Barbados and its Embassy in Yangon, Myanmar due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Foreign Minister Winston Peters says.   “Due to the increasing scarcity of air links in and out of Bridgetown and Yangon, and the pressure COVID-19 is placing ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Supporting Māori communities and businesses through
    Associate Health and Whānau Ora Minister Peeni Henare has today announced the Government’s plan to support Māori communities and businesses in the face of COVID-19. “Our Government’s $12.1 billion economic package will help many Māori whānau, workers and businesses, whether it’s through wage subsidies, income support and worker redeployment, or ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Guidelines for hospitality establishments released
    The Government and the hospitality industry have worked together to produce guidelines to assist with managing and reducing transmission of COVID-19, Health Minister David Clark announced today.  The guidelines developed between the Government, Hospitality New Zealand and SkyCity Entertainment Group, set out how the new restrictions on physical distancing and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Nation steps up to COVID-19 Alert Level 2
    Four stage Alert System for COVID-19 announced New Zealand moved up to COVID-19 Alert Level 2 – Reduce Contact New Zealanders over 70 and those with certain medical conditions told to stay at home as much as they can to reduce risk of contact with the virus Workplaces to implement ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • PM Address – Covid-19 Update
    Kia ora koutou katoa I’m speaking directly to all New Zealanders today to give you as much certainty and clarity as we can as we fight Covid-19. Over the past few weeks, the world has changed. And it has changed very quickly. In February it would have seemed unimaginable to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • NZ and Singapore commit to keeping supply and trade links open, including on essential goods and med...
    New Zealand and Singapore have jointly committed to keep supply chains open and to remove any existing trade restrictive measures on essential goods, especially medical supplies, in the face of the Covid-19 crisis. Trade and Export Growth Minister David Parker welcomed the commitment. “This is an important collective response, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Joint Ministerial Statement by Singapore and New Zealand -Covid-19 situation
    JOINT MINISTERIAL STATEMENT BY SINGAPORE AND NEW ZEALAND AFFIRMING COMMITMENT TO ENSURING SUPPLY CHAIN CONNECTIVITY AMIDST THE COVID-19 SITUATION  The COVID-19 pandemic is a serious global crisis.  As part of our collective response to combat COVID-19, Singapore and New Zealand are committed to maintaining open and connected supply chains. We ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Transit between Australia and New Zealand
    Travel restrictions, closing our border to almost all travelers came into force from 23:59 on Thursday 19 March 2020 (NZDT).  All airlines were informed of these restrictions before they came into force. Immigration Minister Iain Lees-Galloway says “The transit of passengers between Australia and New Zealand has been agreed upon and ...
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  • $100 million to redeploy workers
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  • More support for wood processing
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  • Stronger border measures to protect NZers from COVID-19
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  • Action on indoor gatherings and events to protect public health
    The Government has reinforced its commitment to protecting the health of New Zealanders from COVID-19 through the cancellation of indoor events with more than 100 people.  “Protecting the health of New Zealanders is our number one priority, and that means we need to reduce the risks associated with large gatherings,” ...
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  • New Zealanders advised not to travel overseas
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