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The Doctor Who helpline

Written By: - Date published: 9:04 am, July 19th, 2017 - 51 comments
Categories: humour, internet, Satire, tv - Tags:

https://twitter.com/SHardingRoberts/status/886648567351447552

https://twitter.com/themackenzilee/status/886613715617034242

 

51 comments on “The Doctor Who helpline ”

  1. red-blooded 1

    About bloody time!

    Now let’s see what happens to the companion…

  2. So the show has spent the last few seasons pointing out that the time lords are gender fluid and then people complain?

    I think a female doctor is awesome… now who is the companion, and will we have Missy or the Master?

    • greywarshark 3.1

      “A woman as #DoctorWho? SJWs and PCism is ruining the show. It should always be a flamboyantly-dressed man of uncertain sexuality.”
      Sam Warburton has hit the nail on its head.

      No reason why this uncertain sexuality shouldn’t bend towards a female generation. And do we know that the female is in herself of uncertain sexuality, and so is partly or largely male?

      For companion we would like a male I think, because of the different responses of the two genders to events and others. And also to each other, remembering the possibility of uncertain sexuality of the new Dr Who. Lots of different scenarios, cross currents there. But Dr Who has never had a romance has he? Just close friendship? Could someone enlighten me.

      • red-blooded 3.1.1

        Actually, the Doctor has a wife. We met her several times when David Tennant was in the role and I’m pretty sure she showed up during the time of the next Doctor, as well. I seem to recall she died in one of those episodes. She was from the future, so our version of the doc never quite knew their whole story – he hadn’t yet formed a relationship with her and married her.

        I don’t think there’s ever been a romance with a companion.

        • greywarshark 3.1.1.1

          Oh ta didn’t know that. I have lost touch and regained it several times during the years, and have missed vital points.

        • You_Fool 3.1.1.2

          River Song was the Doctors wife, probably married to the Matt Smith Doctor. She dies in her first appearance, which was with David Tennant, but River and the doctor are on opposing time lines; i.e. he first meets her when she meets him for the last time, and he progressively knows her more as she knows him less. Also we only met River once with David Tenant, she was more a Matt Smith time character (hence probably married to that doctor)

          Also the David Tennant doctor was very clearly in love with Rose Tyler.

          The Matt Smith doctor was also very much into Amy Pond, although he kept it seemly, especially since she was a married women. She, not so much.

          The Peter Capaldi doctor also was probably mostly in love with Clara Oswald.

          The latest season also suggests that the Doctor and The master/missy were quite into each other as well… more than friends….

          • Richard Christie 3.1.1.2.1

            River Song was…..

            Ooh Kaay, Now I definitely know why I couldn’t understand that stuff when it first aired.

  3. Wow amazing how all the doctors look very similar – talk about typecasting. Are daleks gendered – they all look the same too. Sad.

  4. Phil 5

    referring to some questions from the bingo card:

    What’s next, Jane Bond? What’s next, Mrs Holmes?
    Both of those sound fucking awesome.

    when can I expect a male Wonder Woman
    Superman.

    I look forward to Miss Marple being a man.
    That would be Hercule Poirot… either the rotund British version or the diminutive Belgian.

    • weka 5.1

      I think the Bond one is more like Idris Alba Bond That’ll set a few people off too.

    • greywarshark 5.2

      Miss Marple – No can’t possibly take those unique characters like her, Poirot and screw them round. Now Dr Who is unique in his/her connection to an inner core of personality and drive continuing despite his appearance or events.

      • McFlock 5.2.1

        I always thought it was a shame that they didn’t make Rose turn into the Doctor after staring into the TARDIS.

        Not so much for a gender switch, but the entire idea of the Doctor travelling in the TARDIS would have been flipped into the TARDIS travelling around in the Doctor, and the true time lord is the TARDIS or at least the symbiotic TARDIS/Doctor organism (DoctorDonna anyone?)…

        • greywarshark 5.2.1.1

          Oh McFlock you mind is going deep into areas never gone before. Wonderful juxtaposition about the Tardis.

  5. NZJester 6

    Anyone who did not see this coming is blind. Ever since the reboot, they have tried to be very inclusive of all races and genders. They have had some very strong female companions. There have been a number of gay and bisexual characters. They gave a spin off show to Captian Jack Harkness a bisexual man. As a straight man who is comfortable with his own gender, I have no problems with Strong female, bisexual or gay characters. Doctor Who has been one of my favourite shows growing up and I also loved Xena Warrior Princess.

  6. doc 7

    Why stop at Doctor Who what about Tarzan, whom all the while fighting head shrinking warriors and wrestling lions, gliding from tree to tree, at somestage in the movie why not reveal that Mighty Tarzan the king of the jungle is suffering from a gender identity crisis. that ‘ll pop your popcorn. [popcorn PC]

    • weka 7.1

      I don’t think the Doctor is having a gender identity crisis, but sure, why not have a transgender Tarzan who goes through a process of transition.

  7. Bill 8

    Ah well. I had a post rattling around in my head about why settees were invented and child hood safe zones and daleks and how they lost me when they started to levitate. And a whole lot of other stuff.

    Anyway. Given that the last episodes had the original ‘bad sex doll’ cybermen and the first Doctor sidling round the corner. And seeing as how Davis is shutting down the Dr Who thang in Cardiff and big changes have been signaled… I’m picking Dr Who is going to be getting back to its roots.

    It was originally intended to be a programme with an educational component. So, I’m picking we’re in for some more thought provoking sci-fi than what we’ve come to associate with Doctor Who since…well, whenever.

    • Richard Christie 8.1

      Im picking Dr Who is going to be getting back to its roots.

      Cool.
      The Second Dr rulz (and three to eight all Caspar milquetoasts).
      Been all downhill since Numero Dos.

  8. The Lone Haranguer 9

    As long as Darth Vader stays in black “evil Dude” clothing and not in a “white virgin wedding dress” then the Dr Who bleatings are just first world problems.

    Apparently the head bloke on the SS Enterprise was a woman about 20 years ago – who knew, who bleated?

    Theres only one Captain Kirk (and he wasnt an All Black)

    • weka 9.1

      I still remember the first time I saw the new Star Trek that started with “… to boldly go where no-one has gone before”. They got it.

    • Richard Christie 9.2

      .Apparently the head bloke on the SS Enterprise was a woman about 20 years ago who knew, who bleated?

      lies

      Janeway was in command of Voyager.

  9. RedLogix 10

    Dr Who is about the power of love, kindness and compassion to redeem, regenerate and transform. Bring it on.

    Peter Capaldi has left behind some very big boots to fill, but I really wish Jodie Whittaker the very best. It will be fascinating to see what kind of new dimensions she brings to the narrative.

  10. adam 11

    Must be people who have never watched Broadchurch. If they had, they would be so happy with this choice of doctor. Jodie Whittaker also has science fiction chops, her role on ‘BlackMirror’ was amazing. Plus the movie ‘Attack the Block’ is hilarious.

    Think they picked the best actor for the role.

  11. swordfish 12

    Meanwhile … Labour-supporting former Dr Whos

    David Tennant appeared in party political broadcasts for Labour in 2005 & 2010

    Peter Davison also appeared in a party election broadcast on behalf of Labour 2010. Quoted in The Guardian, Davison said:

    “I’ll be voting Labour without a doubt. I tremble at the idea we might put a Tory government back into power. I think back to the last time a Conservative government was running the country and can’t believe we might do it”

    Paul McGann publicly endorsed Labour & Jeremy Corbyn at this year’s Election & joined pro-Corbyn lobby-group Momentum

    Possibly also Tom Baker (1998 expressed disdain for both the Tories & Blair’s Labour, saying: “When the Conservatives were in I cannot tell you how much I hated them. But I realise how shallow I am because I now hate the Labour Party as much.”)

    Tragically Christopher Eccleston turns out to be a Manchester Utd supporter (arguably even worse than being Tory)

  12. Ad 13

    Bring back John Pertwee. He was the best one. He can travel back through time.

  13. tc 14

    Good call after capaldi who was superb.

    The anoraks will get over it or fume away creating more exposure so win win really as it may pull in a bigger audience. Worse case some angry geeky sifi bods….who cares.

  14. Mrs Brillo 15

    I’ve been feeling a shaming degree of schadenfreude over all those weeping, snarling, teeth-gnashing fanbois flooding so much netspace with their manly tears over the casting of a female Doctor.

    It has, however, provided many women with the opportunity to use the word “broflake”, which can only be beneficial for humanity.
    Bring on the lady doctor – as one UK commenter said, it’s about timey-wimey.

    • marty mars 15.1

      broflake – love it

    • rhinocrates 15.2

      After the Bechdel Test, there’s the Mori Test: does a person of colour have their own narrative? There’s also the Furiosa Test: does a (new) female character (in an established male-dominated franchise) make entitled basement-dwelling pimple farms apoplectic? If so, bonus points.

  15. greg 16

    star wars has a female Jedi as well doctor who was our show when did women get intrested in cybermen and time travel anyway, how can a woman conceptualize concepts like the last great time war or the army of never weres led by the could have been king this is the thin end of the wedge the least they could do know is give us an alien companion like commander strax not some weak human

    • weka 16.1

      Women invented time with their bodies when they stopped with estrus and started the menstrual cycle that tracked with the lunar month

    • Mrs Brillo 16.2

      Greg, put the devices away and get on with your homework.

  16. Gabby 18

    Don’t get too cocky and assume a female will necessarily be playing a female.

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    Point of OrderBy poonzteam5443
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  • Bryce Edwards: Hipkins bread and butter reshuffle
    Prime Minister Chris Hipkins continues to be the new broom in Government, re-setting his Government away from its problem areas in his Cabinet reshuffle yesterday, and trying to convince voters that Labour is focused on bread and butter issues. The ministers responsible for unpopular reforms in water and DHB centralisation ...
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  • The Neverending Curse of MLMs
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  • Dusk Chorus: Mahuta and Little demoted
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  • Dusk Chorus: Mahuta and Little demoted
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    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
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  • We just need the Wayne to stop
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    More than a fieldingBy David Slack
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  • 2023 More Reading: January (+ Old Phuul Update)
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  • Is Britain doomed (again)?
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    Point of OrderBy xtrdnry
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  • After The Deluge.
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  • Minister of Education (who might be replaced later today) left it to his ministry to apologise for i...
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    Point of OrderBy Bob Edlin
    7 days ago
  • The other big one: How a megaflood could swamp Californias Central Valley
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  • Tuesday's pick o' the links: Wayne Brown's WTF moment
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    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
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    Wayne Brown managed a smile when meeting with Remuera residents, but he was grumpy about having to deal with “media drongos”. Photo: Lynn Grieveson/Getty ImagesTLDR: In my pick of the news links found in my rounds since 4am for paying subscribers below the paywall:Wayne Brown moans about the media and ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    7 days ago
  • Bryce Edwards Political Roundup:The gamechanger PM and polls
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    Point of OrderBy poonzteam5443
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  • Dawn Chorus: Why 2023 will be a year of indecision & delay
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  • Dawn Chorus: Why 2023 will be a year of indecision & delay
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    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    7 days ago
  • Bryce Edwards: The Gamechanger PM and polls
    Last nights opinion polls answered the big question of whether a switch of prime minister would really be a gamechanger for election year. The 1News and Newshub polls released at 6pm gave the same response: the shift from Jacinda Ardern to Chris Hipkins has changed everything, and Labour is back ...
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  • After the deluge initial thoughts on the Auckland floods
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  • Ever Get the Feeling You've Been Cheated?
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  • Advancing our relationship in India
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government Northland housing investment to spark transformational change
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Battle of Ohaeawai remembered
    A memorial event at a key battle site in the New Zealand land wars is an important event to mark the progress in relations between Mori and the Crown as we head towards Waitangi Day, Minister for Te Arawhiti Kelvin Davis said. The Battle of Ohaeawai in June 1845 saw ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • More Police deployed to the frontline
    More Police officers are being deployed to the frontline with the graduation of 54 new constables from the Royal New Zealand Police College today. The graduation ceremony for Recruit Wing 362 at Te Rauparaha Arena in Porirua was the first official event for Stuart Nash since his reappointment as Police ...
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    4 days ago
  • Further support for upper North Island regions hit by significant weather
    The Government is unlocking an additional $700,000 in support for regions that have been badly hit by the recent flooding and storm damage in the upper North Island. Were supporting the response and recovery of Auckland, Waikato, Coromandel, Northland, and Bay of Plenty regions, through activating Enhanced Taskforce Green to ...
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    5 days ago
  • The Princess Royal to visit New Zealand
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    5 days ago
  • Government and horticulture sector target $12b in exports by 2035
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    5 days ago
  • Cost of living support extended for families and businesses
    25 cents per litre petrol excise duty cut extended to 30 June 2023 reducing an average 60 litre tank of petrol by $17.25 Road User Charge discount will be re-introduced and continue through until 30 June Half price public transport fares extended to the end of June 2023 saving ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
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  • More Kiwis in work as rising wages match inflation
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  • Government boosts fund for Auckland flooding
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  • New Cabinet focused on bread and butter issues
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  • Prime Minister to meet with PM Albanese
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Government makes first payment to Auckland Flooding fund
    The Government is providing establishment funding of $100,000 to the Mayoral Relief Fund to help communities in Auckland following flooding, Minister for Emergency Management Kieran McAnulty announced. We moved quickly to make available this funding to support Aucklanders while the full extent of the damage is being assessed, Kieran McAnulty ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government steps up to assist Auckland during flooding
    As the Mayor of Auckland has announced a state of emergency, the Government, through NEMA, is able to step up support for those affected by flooding in Auckland. Id urge people to follow the advice of authorities and check Auckland Emergency Management for the latest information. As always, the Government ...
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    1 week ago
  • Poroporoaki: Titewhai Te Huia Hinewhare Harawira
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    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
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  • Enhanced Task Force Green Approved following Cyclone Hale
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  • General Election to be held on 14 October 2023
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    3 weeks ago
  • Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announces resignation
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    3 weeks ago