The gift that keeps on giving

Written By: - Date published: 8:02 am, May 17th, 2013 - 36 comments
Categories: social media lolz - Tags:

First Collins fails the replicant test. Now Scott catches her openly plotting against her leader. Please please, National Party communications team, never, ever take her twitter from her.

Collins keeps on giving

36 comments on “The gift that keeps on giving”

  1. ak 1

    It’s the continuing smarm offensive that’s worked so well with “Guy” “Dunc” “Paddy” and others.

    “Brows up, lashes down, and cute, cute, cute, Jude, and he’ll soon be eating putty out of your hands”

    • geoff 1.1

      cute?! faaark, are you mental?

    • Murray Olsen 1.2

      She comes across as intellectually challenged as Pauline Hansen and her “Please explain.” Par for the course for Tory MPs, really.

  2. um..!..does the context show she is talking about/criticising shearer/labour..?..not key..?

    phillip ure..

    ..

    • Yes.

      Which Scott then turned around on her, making it look like she was talking about John Key and her own plans (as she hadn’t specified which “poor budget speech” she was talking about, and it is widely thought she has ambitions to be National’s leader). To which she replied with either a genuinely perplexed tweet (thus showing she “doesn’t get it”, and adding to the theory she is a replicant), or an arch wink (in which case, well played that woman!)

      This is called “humour” in the digital age.

      • quartz 2.1.1

        But either response is sob-optimal for a minister who is widely believed to be plotting for leadership. A wiser response (if a response needed to be given) would have been: “Oh, I see what you did there. Very funny, Scott.”

      • felix 2.1.2

        “This is called “humour” in the digital age.”

        In any age actually Andrew 😉

  3. Roger B 3

    Taken out of context. She was clearly talking about Shearer.

    I’d say “nice try” but it wasn’t really. Pretty weak try more like.

    • Colonial Viper 3.1

      Yes thank you for explaining, that was very helpful.

    • QoT 3.2

      Oh my god, that makes so much more sense. Thank God you were here to explain the joke in a way which proves you don’t actually understand the joke.

  4. Winston Smith 4

    Eddie, you haven’t given up already have you? This is kinda clutching at straws…

    • Colonial Viper 4.1

      Until we get a categorical statement from Collins that she’s not interested in seeking the National Party leadership, I think it’s all on.

      • Rhinocrates 4.1.1

        categorical statement from Collins

        That will be a confirmation.

      • dumrse 4.1.2

        Fuck all else to talk about eh? Lets see if we can grow this mole hill……

      • Murray Olsen 4.1.3

        She might give Gower the Liverpool kiss that Cunliffe should have. He’d be too scared to ask.

  5. Anne 5

    Indeed CV. I, too, feel indebted to Roger B for that clarification.

  6. tsmithfield 6

    I think any thoughts of a leadership challenge would only arise if said leader is an unpopular, stammering nitwit.

    • TheContrarian 6.1

      I certainly can’t see a coup happening – Key is Nationals only electable leader at the moment.

      • felix 6.1.1

        Yeah Key is all they’ve got, but the question is are they all he’s got?

        Cos he may have done enough DJPM-ing to cross it off his bucket list and get back to the day job.

    • felix 6.2

      “a leadership challenge would only arise if said leader is an unpopular, stammering nitwit.”

      2 out of 3 criteria filled then.

  7. Rhinocrates 7

    Oh yeah, she was talking about Shearer, but Danyl and Scott showed real Geek-Fu there and Collins showed herself up as an ignoramus out of her depth in social media. It is very very funny indeed when pompous idiots get humiliated and don’t even realise it.

    That’s Tories for you – they still don’t what century they’re in. For them, it’s forever a moment in 1987, a millisecond before the crash.

    Collins should wear shoulder pads.

    Now if Shearer realised that we’re past the era of walkshorts and sandals with socks, we might be getting somewhere…

    • Winston Smith 7.1

      “Now if Shearer realised that we’re past the era of walkshorts and sandals with socks, we might be getting somewhere…”

      – Thats a good line.

  8. ghostrider888 8

    Tweeting! and these are the people charged with running our country; I wouldn’t charge them with replacing the batteries in my smoke alarm. 😉 (obviously they have NOT seen The Wire, and live in their own private idahoes) 😉

    • One Anonymous Knucklehead 8.1

      Nah, they’ve seen The Wire, they just think it’s an instruction manual.

  9. emergency mike 9

    Actually she passed the replicant test as I understand it. A replicant would have become confused by the question and been unable to answer. Collins had no problem coming up with a rationalisation for not helping a suffering animal.

    Replicant no, cold hearted ‘just let it die’ ice queen yes.

  10. McFlock 10

    Well, by my count that’s five tories who felt the need to either deny that Collins was plotting against Key, or painstakingly explain that Collins had been talking about Labour and that to interpret it as otherwise was quite desperate.

    Now I’m imagining the Bladerunner scene along the lines of:

    INTERVIEWER: A horse walks into-
    LEON: What’s a horse?
    INTERVIEWER: It’s a big animal with a long snout that pulls carts
    LEON: oh. I’ve never seen one
    INTERVIEWER: It doesn’t matter. A horse walks into a bar and the-
    LEON: What’s an animal doing in a bar?
    INTERVIEWER: It just is
    LEON: that’s against health regulations
    INTERVIEWER: not in this story
    LEON: oh, okay
    INTERVIEWER: so the horse walks into the bar, and the barman says –
    LEON: Who’s the barman talking to?
    INTERVIEWER: the horse
    LEON: why’s the barman talking to an animal?
    INTERVIEWER: it’s part of the joke
    LEON: okay, I’ll remember that
    INTERVIEWER: and so the barman says “why the long face”?
    LEON: okay
    INTERVIEWER: That’s the joke
    LEON: oh
    INTERVIEWER: okay, well how about this o-
    [bang]

  11. Hillary 11

    Collins is quoted in today’s Southland Times as telling a conference in Queenstown this week that she’d make a “fab” Prime Minister. I’d say that is pretty much a declaration of a coup.

  12. emergency mike 12

    Interesting how this thread shows up how many RWNJs just can’t grasp subtle humour. It’s not even that subtle… Happy sticking to the shallow end eh guys? Hi Colin Craig.

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