The Hutch

One morning last week I stumbled upon TV3’s early morning Sunrise programme. It’s a bright and cheery little show providing an easier alternative to Paul Henry’s more acerbic version on TV One.

The breezy presenters occasionally host a couple of people called the ‘All-Stars’ and on this particular morning one of the guests was Mike Hutcheson, a short whale of a man who occupied one of the chairs so completely that it seemed likely to need a crane to get him out.

Hutcheson is actually an ex-ad man, but these days seems to describe himself as an ‘ideas-man’, a kind of concept person who will solve any problem with the illumination of a light bulb. Anyway Hutch, as he’s known to his mates in Parnell, was asked for his assessment of the year. He smiled knowingly and quickly painted a grim picture of New Zealand under the current government focusing in particular on the ills caused by a fat bureaucracy. Suddenly, given the capacity of my wide-screen LCD to take in all of Hutch’s amble girth, I could almost see his point. “But”, said Hutch continuing with the certainty of a self-made man, “it’s all because we have a girltocracy”.

A girltocracy? What a guy. One can imagine the nation & or at least those poor souls watching Sunrise, rising to their feet and applauding the astonishing notion that women are the reason why people like Hutcheson have so much of a problem making it through the day.

So back to the studio & at that moment things seemed to come to a pause as it became evident that Hutch may be drawing breath to launch into a monologue on the subject of women running everything. But he was quickly distracted by the breathless presenters who were clearly intent on drawing the Hutch away from whatever he might say next.

Who is Mike Hutcheson? He was the big ‘H’ in a now defunct advertising agency called HKM. This agency was a boytocracy with Hutch as head boy. It was a successful agency, which was actually appointed to assist the Labour Party’s election campaign in 1990. Yes it’s true, Mike Hutcheson’s agency wanted to help the Labour party win a campaign, but presumably money was involved and there wasn’t much sign of a ‘girltocracy’ in the Labour government of 1990.

When Sunrise resumes in 2008, do try to catch Hutch in all his expansive and erudite glory. He’s a little ripper.

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