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The spinmeister of Planet Key: Retrospective

Written By: - Date published: 10:07 am, December 18th, 2012 - 35 comments
Categories: assets, capitalism, class war, cost of living, exports, jobs, john key, poverty, same old national, slippery - Tags:

It was John Key’s turn this morning to front up to TV3 for a look back at the year. He was in his best soothing and slick used car salesman mode.  All is well on Planet Key, and anyone who says different is delusional. His tone was that down-to-earth, mode of reeling off facts in quick succession, making it hard to concentrate on any one point before he’s on to the next one. People, especially the powerless and those suffering most from disasters and financial down-turns, do not seem to compute on the Spinmeister’s Planet: it’s all facts and figures and balance sheets.

Disaster Capitalism

Firstly he was called into Prime Ministerial mode  to talk about the help the government will provide to Samoa and Fiji. There wasn’t one message of support or concern for the suffering on the people from those disasters.   Interviewer Samantha said, 200 mill probably needed and was eventually able to pin him down to the sum the NZ government will provide as being probably more millions than tens of millions.

Economy and Surplus Target

John Key reckons the country’s till on track for a surplus 2014, even though globally there’s a picture of slowing growth. Key produces his inevitable “Let’s take a step back”, to acknowledge that some groups will be unhappy, but overall picture is robust and strong.  Might some of those unhappy groups be people struggling to find affordable housing or get enough money to put food on the table?  Not something that gets a mention on the sunny side of Planet Key.


Samantha asks about the people facing  pretty bleak Christmas without a job.   However, bleakness doesn’t compute with this spinmeister. Again, it’s all a matter of figure.  Samantha put it to Key that there is now a 12 yr high for jobless figures.  Key said the numbers are too high.  He talked about how the government was dealing with the issues by focusing on how to create jobs.  He said that it is “a major focus of government attention,  is  to create the environment to get numbers down. However, some things being beyond the government’s control.

Nevertheless, all is well on Planet Key, and some things will help, which the government can encourage: the rebuilding of Christchurch, the beginning of movement again in the Auckland property market.

2012 Rating the Performance of Key and His Government

Key reckons the government has done pretty well (8 out of 10) in the context of the conditions. The bankster spinmeister says,

If you live in a sort of dream world, um, as the opposition do where you don’t have all these things like , you know, Europe melting down and Global financial Crisis, and all of those things [interesting how Key gestures with his hands like a lord surveying the world before him, and is smiling while he talks], of course it’s easy.  But in the real world, actually I think we’ve done pretty well.

This is the NAct MO: they project their lack of engagement with material realities onto the opposition.  It is just untrue that the opposition don’t recognise the impact of the GFC. They have been producing statements and policy outlines indicating different ways of countering it.  They criticise the government for blaming all their failings on the GFC.  Why do no MSM journalists call Key and his ministers on this?  However, having initially quibble over the accuracy of the jobless numbers, Key admits this is the government’s weak point:

The one number that sticks a bit is the employment rate, but outside of that, things are generally on the improve. The interest rates are low, cost of living’s reasonably low. We’re actually narrowing the wage gap with Australia.

But the government’s doing really well, according to Key on crime (rate’s falling), health (system’s improving) and education (more kids in ECE and getting NCEAs. He doesn’t respond to the mention of Kim Dortcom and dismisses criticisms as being an inevitable part of politics, and part of a healthy democracy. However, democracy has been continually undermined by Key’s government: in Christchurch (CERA, ECAN), and Auckland (unaccountable CCOs), and parliamentary process (record numbers of Bills passed under urgency).  Part of a raft of things Key claims as positive:

We’ve been doing a lot of reform over four years which is making us more efficient.

Key’s New Year’s resolution is all about himself: the doctor says he needs to shed 2 kilos.

What wasn’t mentioned

john key cartoon that's all folks

Asset sales, John Banks, Dotcom saga, energy and climate change issues….. what else?


35 comments on “The spinmeister of Planet Key: Retrospective”

  1. fisiani 1

    So all in all a very good year from the government with the prospect of better days ahead. The brighter future is here. No wonder National is riding so high in the opinion polls.

    • felixviper 1.1

      lolz. National has dropped at least 10% in the polls, AND they now have no mates left to get them up.

      • fisiani 1.1.1

        Absolute bollocks! 47 % to 46% is 1%.
        Also the future is indeed bright http://www.national.org.nz/finance.aspx

        Labour will only ever get back in when people develop amnesia for how awful they were.

        • felixviper

          “47 % to 46% is 1%.”
          So what? National were polling well over 50% right up to the election and are currenty polling around 43%.
          Can we get some better idiots please?

        • North

          Kia Ora Cheerleader Fiz’……..

        • So fisinani Labour will not  get back  because people remember how bad they were .
          Do you live on  a differen planet. Under the last Labour Government we had the lowest unemployment in the OECD,we now have the highest and growing.
          Under the Last Labour Governmet Wages rose every year . Holidays were increased Kiwi saver was formed  giving workers  a bit a security in old age .Watch your Tory lot sell it at the first
          opportunity  . We owned our remaining assets . im sure that at the next election the last elections non voter is not going to make the same mistake again. And the public are not going to fall for the poll forcaste con  they fell for last time.Key will make sure he gets his Knighthood before the next velection , then when he is defeated he will piss of to one of his many mansions.

      • muzza 1.1.2

        Fis – Do the words fraud and hypocrite mean anything to you – Just stop and think about it for a minute bro

        Felix – Yeah but its not because there is any opposition which is going to turn the sinking ship around, such as it is!

    • Dr Terry 1.2

      “The brighter future is here” – well, I suppose so for the fortunate, comfortable, uninformed, and self-preoccupied people (you will recognise them all, fisiani).

    • the pigman 1.3

      “The brighter future is here.”

      Really? This is it? I know its silly season, but unless you are welcoming in the Mayan Apocalypse, I’m not so sure how you can say this without tongue lodged firmly in cheek.

  2. Dv 2

    I wonder if the govt will get the teachers paid on time?

  3. Craig Glen viper 3

    They keep repeating that NCEA achievement is up but have not introduced one policy that has effected NCEA? It was the teachers and the unions and ministry that did the work on this it had nothing to do with this Government.In fact most of these changes occurred under Labour. When is Key going to be called on this, he raises NCEA achievement levels every time hes on the telly, its like saying well its mostly been sunny this week so thats good Governments pleased we have got that right.
    When are the journos going to do their job?

    • karol 3.1

      When are the journos going to do their job?
      Indeed. Democracy needs a strong 4th estate.  I’m working on some posts on media bias in political coverage – but it’s a complex issue to tease out and apply to NZ examples over the last year – one post is turning into a series of at least 3.  Hoping to finish the first post some time this week.

      • Te Reo Putake 3.1.1

        Good on you, Karol, I hope you have time to include Claire Robinson’s damning study on bias at the last election.
        Journalism Online may also be useful, particularly as its worth remembering that the weakness in our MSM is less to do with the journalists themselves as it is with the publishers’ downsizing newsrooms and moving to cheaper, but less reliable kinds of reportage, such as rewriting press releases, stealing from blogs and taking citizen journalists’ reports at face value.

        • karol

          Thanks, TRP.  Will add them to my collection.  I have a few articles to sift through and am currently reading some peer reviewed articles on specific studies.  Probably won’t be able to mention them all in the posts.

  4. Poission 4

    Meanwhile the NZ dollar is hitting record levels,with the TWI at 75 .As this will further decrease the BOP and reduce employment in export industries which is a substantive part of the NZ economy there seems to be little possibility for economic recovery .

    Interesting is that both the Australian reserve and the Fed are required to have equal weightings for both unemployment and inflation when reviewing monetary policy something that is absent in the NZ context.

    Once again the ideological constraints,on property investment in AK will fuel inflation and increase interest rates where globally the world will have sustained low interest rates.

  5. tc 5

    ‘When are the journos going to do their job?’

    When and if we get some journo’s , sammy hayes is a clothes horse not a journalist. Eye candy that helps sell the ad’s in between the near advertorial content that passes for TV news in NZ today.

    key wouldn’t dare go near anyone who may actually demand some answers and hold the NACT to account rather than slither about.

  6. Tiger Mountain 6

    Our household including two guests were watching TV3 to get some idea of what was happening in Fiji and Samoa, then ShonKey slimed into view.

    Cue automatic spring loaded one finger salutes, followed by a barrage of “fuck off” “wanker” “arsehole” and “bullshit” expostulations echoing off the living area walls. Try being made redundant (as one of our group has been) this very week with income support–or social security as it should be–about to close for xmas after imposing a nice stand down period, and you might understand the instinctive dislike for our flabby toupee wearing ‘Prime Mincer’.
    Mr Floppy is not universally liked whatever landline phone polls and sycophantic journos may say.

    Samantha Hayes has all the bite and incisiveness of a goldfish which does not help matters at all as unemployment climbs and we become a nation of lawnmowing rounds, dog walkers, and minimum wage service workers living at home or still flatting at 50.

    • irascible 6.1

      Interestingly the respondents to landline polls don’t rate KeY or his government  highly at all. The general tendency of those surveyed is to give Key & his Govt a rating of 5-6 on a 10 point scale.
      When it comes to rating KeY as PM the respondents, again, snicker and opt to give him 5-6. It is usually only the hard core Nats who swing higher on the rating.
      A lot of what gets reported in the media from the polls are the global statistics rather than the open-ended question responses often requested during the polls.

  7. …yep in short, all going to plan, the population are becoming more desperate and uninformed, ripe and ready for our “drill it, mine it, sell it” agenda to be pushed through in the name of jobs,

    …of course the jobs won’t be suitable for those who are most pressed by our “global recession” (read: our lack of responsiveness to those who are most adversely effected by recessions); however, that matters little, because they are so misinformed that they won’t realise this until too late; rather they will scream blue-murder to anyone opposing our “job creating” opportunities…ha ha ha

    Profiteers, roll on up! We have a cracker of an opportunity here, a real beaut! No need for a social or environmental conscience, we’ve ensured that is obsolete. 100% Pure Middleearth…ha ha ha now THAT was our most productive move…ha ha ha ha

  8. karol 8

    And, as tweeted today by John Key: women on Planet Key are the nurses, and men the doctors.
    1950s revisited.

  9. PlanetOrphan 9

    Good old ” Dolly did it 😀 ” DunnoKeyo strikes again.

    He’s so smooth the shit ( aka “The MSM” ) runs up his legs M8!

  10. onsos 10

    Re-structuring schools is working well, particularly in Christchurch and special education.

    It’s a shame about the Pike River thing and how he had made a promise while having no idea whether he could keep it, because that means he has to break his promise, now. It looks like he’ll be keeping his promises about superannuation, however, regardless of the sustainability.

    The Liquor reform was a real hit, and Collins also put the David Bain compensation to bed well.

    I’ve been impressed with how the Sky City convention centre is going–he can be proud of that one.

  11. Mike 11

    Did he really say “the cost of living’s reasonably low”?

    Fuck I hate that prick.

    • karol 11.1

      Did he really say “the cost of living’s reasonably low”?
      Yes, he did.  And he claims the opposition lives in a dream world.  And when are significant numbers of journalists going to hold him and his ministers to account over their dishonest claims ?  And on the front pages, and headlines of the 6pm news?

      • blue leopard 11.1.1

        “When are significant numbers of journalists going to hold him and his ministers to account…?”

        When the journalists paymasters aren’t profiting from having a misinformed society, thats when.

  12. bad12 12

    There’s 170,000 unemployed, the Government books have since 2008 bled copious amounts of red ink, the Government has everyone trapped in the ‘dream world’ of borrowing our way out of a prolonged world-wide depression and that Slippery little Shyster rack raises petrol taxes for the peasants while He is happy to cop another 6 grand a year in His pay packet,

    Having turned the office of Prime Minister into little more than the shack seen on any used car lot Slippery sits befor us laughing His jolly little head off and i have to wonder what was the funniest the petrol tax hike or the pay rise,

    Hopefully when released from the grind of putting their shoulders to the heavy wheel of capitalism over the holiday period those who voted that Slippery little Shyster into the office of Prime Minister come to the realization of a mistake made and resolve in the New Year to not make that same mistake again….

    • …yes, wouldn’t have “hurt” to leave a payrise out at this point.  
      I wonder if Mr Harawira will be donating his payrise to charity like he did this time last year?  Perhaps other mps-who-don’t-read-The-Standard-yet-appear-so-concerned-about-what-is-written-here could do the same?  Christmas…goodwill and all that quaint obsolete-now-that-self-interest-is-the-rule-stuff.

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