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The SPOTY’s 2018

Written By: - Date published: 1:10 pm, December 15th, 2018 - 39 comments
Categories: class war, Europe, greens, Iain Lees-Galloway, International, jacinda ardern, labour, Media, national, nz first, Parliament, Politics, Russia, Shane Jones, Simon Bridges, The Standard, uk politics, us politics, winston peters - Tags: , , , ,

Welcome to the Standard’s Politician of The Year 2018!

The awards, which have been run annually since the blog’s founding in 1894, are eagerly awaited by MP’s, media hacks and comms flacks in NZ and worldwide. The SPOTY’s provide an opportunity for the humble reader of NZ’s finest outlet for political musings to give their thoughts on the winners and losers of 2018, both home and away.

Votes will be tallied in the The Standard’s state of the art counting facility and will be ignored, amended and invented to produce the outcomes we like best. It’s democracy, but not as we know it, Jim!

The categories are:

  • Best Government MP
  • Best Opposition MP
  • Best Minister
  • Best Comms
  • Best Media
  • Word of the Year
  • Death of the Year
  • Event of the Year
  • Polly of the Year (overseas)
  • Polly of the Year (NZ)

 

To get you started, here are my completely scientific and impartial picks:

Best Government MP: Overcoming many obvious handicaps Shane Jones has made the best of his year. He’s now the clear frontrunner to take over as NZ First leader when Winston Peters retires in 2032. No other MP in the house has consolidated their position as heir apparent quite as well. Also the only polly to be compared to Pablo Escobar.

Best Opposition MP: Despite a strong run at the title from the MP once known as Maureen Who but now renamed Maureen Pughsless by her own leader, the clear winner is Jami Lee Ross. Ok, he was mainly in opposition to his own party, but wow, what a spectacular way to achieve cut through and name recognition!

Best Minister: There’s lots of Ministers quietly going about their work, bringing fairness, equity and niceness to NZ, but for mine, only one has really stood out. Iain Lees Galloway was dealt a rotten hand in the Sroubek case and arguably played his cards poorly, but he has stood his ground, taken the criticism without bleating and in his other Ministerial role has worked with the coalition parties to significantly improve our employment laws.

Best Comms: Without doubt Hamish ‘Shameless’ Price wins hands down. No lie too great, no outrage too faux for Hamish to promote. Just for the record, Hamish has never drafted, suggested, composed, published, or caused to be published, any of Simon’s tweets, or any of his social media activity. They’re all Simon’s fault, according to Hamish.

Best Media: This  should probably go to a ‘proper’ journalist, but my vote’s with Bryce Edwards. Bryce is annoying, pompous and seems as insulated from real life as a character in a Evelyn Waugh novel. He’s replaced Josie Pagani as the Go To Faux Lefty when the msm needs to put the boot into Labour. However, his Political Round Ups in the Herald are always well compiled and they definitely help promote blogs like the Standard. So good on ya, Bryce, keep plugging away, fella.

Word of the Year: TERF. The rise of identity politics has seemingly peaked with the debate around whether women are women. Special mention to the defiant racist Rachel Stewart for elevating herself to Victim of the Year.

Death of the Year: Sad as I am at the passing of Harry Leslie Smith, the brutal murder of Jamal Khashoggi has exposed the international links to the odious Saudi regime of governments around the world. The poms tut tutted, but kept flogging arms to the Saudis and the orange one was strangely unable to properly condemn the killing. It’s almost like he owes the Saudis more than he owes the Russians.

Event of the Year: Gotta be the Brexit negotiations. When England voted to leave Europe, dragging the reluctant Scotland, Wales and NI with them, nobody knew just how awful it would turn out. If there is no second Brexit referendum, I predict the Kingdom will be united no more and Scotland will scarper. And a re-united Ireland may well be on the cards, too.

Polly of the Year (overseas): There’s a good case for Jacinda Ardern to pick this one up. She has had an amazing impact offshore and her heartfelt words in support of the family of Grace Millane lifted the bar for what international political leadership should look like. But, it’s Trump for me.  Still stupid, still lazy and still there. A Nixonian exit (via golf cart rather than helicopter) looms in 2019.

Polly of the Year (NZ): C’mon, do I have to say it? Yes, it’s Winston Peters who (wait … some mistake surely … consults notes … ). As you were, everyone! It’s Jacinda Ardern. Of course it is. DJ of the year, mum of the year, polly of the year, leading contender to take over from Steve Hansen, there is simply no stopping the most popular PM ever.

So there’s my picks. What’s yours? No need to nominate in every category; nobody really cares who’s opposition MP of the year. Sorry, David Seymour. I know this was pretty much your last chance to shine.

And it’s not too late to invent new categories if you want. But don’t bother with blogger of the year. There’s a lawyer out West Auckland way who’s got that sown up 😉

 

39 comments on “The SPOTY’s 2018”

  1. Robert Guyton 1

    Sarah Dowie for putting Invercargill on the map.

  2. greywarshark 2

    Shane Jones
    For trying to get his nevvies off the couch.

  3. patricia bremner 3

    Phil Twyford as Minister of Transport, tidying the mess Simon Bridges left in NZTA.

    • jam tomorrow 3.1

      Go, Phil – a hard worker who has a huge job (housing and transport) and while being criticised by an opposition whose neglect caused the social problems we now face,
      always remains affable and realistically optimistic .

  4. r0b 4

    Polly of the year is surely Simon Bridges – for doing more than anyone else to ensure the re-election of a Labour led government in 2020. Go Simon!

  5. patricia bremner 5

    Most effective Minister. Khris Faafoi Socking it to Loan Sharks.

    • Rae 5.1

      Kris Faafoi has been a bit of a revelation, I think he has a head down, bum up attitude to his job, and his ego, if it exists, definitely takes a back seat.

      • OnceWasTim 5.1.1

        +1. And Little for the same reasons ( and especially when you take into account is Pike River Mine efforts and his standing down which allowed all this to happen in the first place )

        • Rae 5.1.1.1

          Yes, absolutely Andrew Little, was going to do another post to say something similar, but got sidetracked. Another one doing the job with little regard to his own ego. And doing his job very well, he is the unsung hero of the Labour party’s revival. Please, no-one point this out to Simon.

          • Ffloyd 5.1.1.1.1

            Andrew Little without a doubt. He is truly country first. Was going to say nz first but didn’t look quite right.

    • Heather tanguay 5.2

      Kris has done a fantastic job on a number of different fronts

      • Draco T Bastard 5.2.1

        [citation needed]

        • Ankerrawshark 5.2.1.1

          Draco my dodgy air bags for one. When the list came out under national our car wasn’t on it. Under Labour kris had a new list and made the deadline tighter and compulsory. We had them fixed within the week.

          Yes Kris Faafoi has been a quiet outstanding achiever

    • Stunned Mullet 5.3

      Agreed along with Robertson the only two that have got on with their jobs.

  6. patricia bremner 6

    I mustn’t disappoint my critics LOL LOL
    Jacinda Ardern for Polly of the Year!! By an ever increasing margin.

  7. Best Polly (International) Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

    Unfortunately as a Socialist I will have to leave the position of Polly of the year (NZ ) vacant yet again, still not one soul brave enough, active in NZ politics to come out in direct opposition to free market liberalism…very disappointing, but also disappointingly, not at all surprising.

  8. Upapua 8

    Surely Simon, the unpopular, strong leader, of the most popular party in politics. who singularly stands by all his directions, signposts, statements and friends, alone deserves a gong. He most thinking correctly deserves it. Paula and he could accept it on behalf of the team.

    A Chinese sounding name for the category would reflect the diversity accommodation available in Nationals interested parties and spice up the bbq….

    #28. Plum advice marinated, slow released spices, woke-roasted duck, topped a breakdown of wilted lettuce and bitter crushed nuts. Political Course of the Year.

  9. Ad 9

    BEST MINISTER:
    Nicholas Maduro for inheriting a spectacular Bolivarian political dynasty, sitting on top of every socialist policy imaginable and a black fountain of national wealth, and squandering it faster than any two-bit rapper with one hit, gold teeth and an Uzi.

    BEST OPPOSITION MP:
    Jeremy Corbyn, for doing the pure political thing of enabling May and the Conservatives to ignite like a lump of burning human shit swinging in the wind, rather than doing the principled thing. I like them darker.

    BEST MINISTER:
    Shane Jones, for having more swagger than Al Pacino rolling in to Nightcaps in a Bentley, bigger balls than Jeff Bezos trading off New York and Atlanta, and for turning a hundred solid National mayors into bigger dumbstruck fawning fools than those girls in the front row at Elvis The Comeback Special 1968.

    BEST COMMS:
    Prime Minister Ardern for most shameless pimping of her own baby at the UN since Imelda Marcos learned to turn in her first pair of pumps.

    BEST MEDIA:
    Scoop, for self funding, self-reporting, being the release go-to, and still tilting leftward without being Labour’s pet labradoodle.

    DEATH OF THE YEAR:
    Grace Millane; for enabling New Zealanders to spin shame into global redemption in one of the strongest years for feminist protest the world has seen in 50 years.

    As Bono sang once:
    “Grace
    is the name for a girl.
    It’s also a thought that
    Could change the world”

    EVENT OF THE YEAR:
    COP 24, for reminding us that we can but form our own local actions like a finger raised to the Eagle of Death

    POLITICIAN OF THE YEAR:
    Xi Jinping, for ascending to an even more perfect state of constitutional perpetual power than Papal infallibility of 1870
    I’d take that as a win.

    POLLY OF THE YEAR (OVERSEAS)
    Agreed; Donald Trump for the most predictable operatic arc since Joan.
    As The Highlander said, “I have something to say
    It’s better to burn out
    Than to fade away”

    POLLY OF THE YEAR (NZ)
    Simon Bridges, for giving me the longest punchline payoff of opposition politics done worse than Goff, Little, and Cunliffe. It’s a long, long payoff, but it’s as satisfying as an armchair Corona off ice after mowing the lawn.

    • Puckish Rogue 9.1

      Not to be a pedant but it wasn’t The Highlander who said it, it was The Kurgan, saying it to The Highlander 🙂

    • RedLogix 9.2

      Talented mate. 🙂

      Reminds me I may have to give Scoop some dosh again. Labradoodle indeed.

  10. JennyHow to get there? 10

    Politician of the year?

    Gotta be the Prime Minister

  11. Tony Veitch [not etc.] 11

    Best polly of the year (NZ)

    Drum roll: Soimon Bridges – for services to the Coalition Government.

  12. Ankerrawshark 12

    Best govt mp…..Twyford for attempting so much, including the meths thing and coping so much (bull)shit

    Best opposition……Jami lee Ross

    Best comes…..Jacinda Ardern, country mile and that pic at buckingham palace

    Best media…the standard or scoop

    Death, utterly tragic grace millane. My heart felt sympathy to her family

    Politician of the year. Jacinda Ardern
    Politician of the year overseas. Still jacinda

    Event of the year. On going climate change

  13. mickysavage 13

    Heh very good idea TRP and something we should keep doing for the next 124 years …

    Anyway …

    Best Government MP: Simon Bridges …

    Best Opposition MP: I agree JLR. He captured the attention of the media in a way no other opposition MP did.

    Best Minister: Sepuloni, Twyford and Little are my favourites. I think Twyford though, if he makes a big enough dent in the housing crisis and reaffirms the idea that social housing is a necessity as well as a good think then there will be political advantage for the left for decades to come, not to mention kids growing up with way better lives than they would have otherwise had.

    Best Comms: Haha yeah Price wins hands down. Is there any truth to the rumour that he is a Labour black ops plant with a mandate of bringing ridicule to National?

    Best Media: Mihinarangi Forbes for opening a real view into what is happening in Aotearoa NZ.

    Polly of the Year (NZ): Jacinda. For insisting that the art of politics should be a more decent and gentle practice.

    • Kat 13.1

      Everyone has their opinion and Audrey Young certainly has hers. For once I agree with her in that Winston is her polly of the year. Jacinda transcends politics and is more “The Leader” of the year(s).

  14. Tamati Tautuhi 14

    Agree with Audrey Young Winston Peters NZF for putting a stable Coalition in place.

    Jacinda a close second for bringing humility and some compassion to politics despite the attacks on her and her partners credibility via the RWNJ Media here in New Zealand.

  15. vto 15

    Given pollys are shameless at times, in recognition of that most glaring of traits I suggest John Key… the most shameless politician, and probably person, in new zealand ever…

    shameful and shameless

    (once a polly always a polly)

  16. vto 16

    In the same way that white New Zealanders have gravitated to Grace Mullinane’s death due to her “white young prettiness” (quote Alison Mau), I wonder how much of that same gravitational effect towards “white young prettiness” has factored into Jacinda’s popularity position

    … after all, Labour’s popularity went sky high after Andrew Little when nothing changed except the front

    prejudices eh, they are tough to break, almost impossible

    • Ankerrawshark 16.1

      vto I think your comments are unfortunate.

      Ms ardern is popular because she represents generational change and she is authentic articulate and extremely competent. She is appealing to look at, but that wouldn’t wash without the aforementioned qualities.

      It’s possible to argue Simon Bridges is attractive to look at, but his qualities mean that is overlooked.

      I am sick of people analysing and making assumptions that the outpouring of grief for grace is because she was pretty. I find that offensive

      • Gabby 16.1.1

        Slick’ll be fine now he’s learning to croak like Baaarpbaaarp Coleman. Instant credibility from the vocal deepfry.

    • Rae 16.2

      Not so sure about the reasons given by critics for the outpouring of sentiment for Grace Millane.
      I recall some years, so many years, my 19 year old daughter not arriving as scheduled from the USA after a stint as a camp counsellor in an eastern state. I recall as if it were yesterday, the indescribable feeling that my daughter could be in some dumpster somewhere, and how alone and afraid she would have been. Turned out she’s gotten confused with all the time zone changes and missed her flight, but those were some incredibly terrifying hours until she showed up.
      I think, in so many ways, so many of us can relate to Grace and her family, I am not at all sure who she was had that much bearing, as soon as I heard of her missing, I thought of my daughter and that time.
      You only now have to compare that to the outrage at the seeming privilege being shown to that hit and run driver sentenced to home d and community service.

  17. mikesh 17

    Politician of the year — Justin Lester, for sticking to his guns on the cycle lanes issue despite many predictions that he will lose in 2019 because of it.

  18. Ad 18

    Colin Craig – services to Christian workplace relations

  19. Fireblade 19

    Best Opposition MP, David Seymour. Like the entire opposition, he’s done bugger all, but with David everyone knows…

    YOU SHOULD BE DANCING

    (Soul Train 1976)

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