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The Woodhouse Family

Written By: - Date published: 3:35 pm, May 21st, 2014 - 32 comments
Categories: humour, national - Tags:

woodhouse woodhousenotfamily

Veterans Affairs Minister Michael Woodhouse sees the family resemblance above (presumably white males in collars with no missing facial features), so he now feels a greater closeness to Gallipoli.

Unfortunately for him, Trooper Frank Woodhouse’s real great-nephew is able to disprove Michael’s lineage.

Still Michael’s a Woodhouse from Otago so he’s sure he must be some sort of relation and has only issued a “sort of apology” to the family if they’re offended…

Not satisfied with the glory-seeking minister’s ways, those trolls and bottom-dwellers on Twitter have managed to dig up a few more relatives for him to claim:


woodhouse family1


32 comments on “The Woodhouse Family”

  1. greywarbler 1

    Lovely photos. What a great family. Lots of fun but there is a serious, noble side to him too. Someone, Bunji? did a great job illustrating this fresh-faced NACToids story. Do NACTs have a panel checking them for camera presentability when applying to be seedylings? And perhaps wardrobe advisors, hair too.

    He is Minister of Immigration as well as Veterans Affairs so he will know how important having the right connections are. He was with the ACC for some years – Michael held senior management positions with ACC, where he was instrumental in implementing ACC’s Elective Services Contracting framework and many years in hospital management.

    But while thinking of the Woodhouse name, the name of Sir Owen Woodhouse who died on 15 April 2014 should be at the top of the list. I don’t think that this young fellow is closely connected to the 97 year old one. Sir Owen was responsible for the policy introducing no fault ACC. He thought that the distinction between being incapacitated by accident or illness should not exist. In 2012 he was advocating for pay as you go ACC instead of the fully funded for the future model. (That’s a form of compulsory saving, that the gummint should acknowledge. That should be available for investment in this country.) His obituary – http://www.nzherald.co.nz/hawkes-bay-today/news/article.cfm?c_id=1503462&objectid=11240448

  2. Clemgeopin 2

    Mother Theresa I can believe, but that chick with the light eyes in the second picture is unlikely because she is blond, gay, not from Otago and she definitely does not enjoy any wood house, unlike Woodhouse.

    More recent news about him:


  3. bad12 3

    Woodhouse’s false claim isn’t quite up there with buying a couple of medals never won and then wearing them on ANZAC parades but it sure is in the same vein,

    This fraud is the Minister for Veterans affairs and manages to insult all of them and the family He half inched the great-uncle from, pathetic plonker should do the decent thing and resign…

  4. Chris 4

    It’s understandable Woodhouse would say what he did because with a face like that it’s clear he likes a drop out of a clean glass and not just occasionally so I’d say his judgement is clouded most of the time.

  5. JAK 5

    Your puerile false photos mitigate trampling the honour of a family name.

    • get a grip..!

      ..you with the shouty-name…

      (and do you bask in the glow of ‘the honour of a family name’..?


      ..and what utter bullshit..eh..?

      ..it was nothing you did..eh..?

    • greywarbler 5.2

      Whose family? Michael’s or the dead soldier’s or the august person of Sir Owen Woodhouse.

  6. no ‘woody’-pic..?..from toy story..?

  7. Populuxe1 7

    Someone please explain how this is any more worth getting hysterical over than Cunliffe stuffing up his grandfather and great uncle?

    • i wouldn’t so much describe it as ‘hysteria’..

      ..more of an easy-target piss-take…eh..?..

    • felix 7.2

      Well Pop, for a start they were actually Cunliffe’s grandfather and great uncle…

      • Colonial Viper 7.2.1

        The difference between being direct blood relatives and simply sharing a name in different phone books is complex and difficult to grasp.

        • felix

          Yeah I can see how Pop has trouble with such delicate nuance.

          • Populuxe1

            Not really. This is New Zealand, population not quite four million with a very high probability of being related to someone with the same last name if your family has been here more than a few generations. I’m sorry you’re a spiteful moron.

            • fender

              Get it right

              p.s. not being spiteful or a moron

            • wtl

              Actually every living person is related to every other living person, only to different degrees. It is therefore nonsensical to claim a relation to another person without some kind of actual family tree or genealogy proving the degree that you are related, as there is no reason for you to be more related to that person than any other person. The point about sharing the same family name is largely irrelevant – it would only apply if a single founding family with that name migrated to New Zealand and never any others over many years of migration to New Zealand. This would be pretty uncommon except for the rarest names. Even then, others that don’t share the same name could still be more closely related to that person through a maternal lineage.

              tldr version: Sharing a family name tells you nothing about how related you are to a person, even in New Zealand.

            • Tracey

              i have not met a single person who has assumed they are related to someone with the same surname, just cos they share the name.

              most people i know would ask and or research before making a public proclamation of association.

              • Populuxe1

                Which largely goes to underscore what a boring and pedantic person you are

                • Tracey

                  nice personal attack there populuxe, i shall chalk that up as you conceding defeat on this one.

                  • Once was Tim

                    Be fair Tracey …. Populuxe is incapable of conceding anything on account of a gigantic ego and a wipe it up wipe it up with XLO surface cleaner that allows a new ‘truth’ to pop up tomorrow (probably dressed in whatever drag is necessary to make it sound convincing).
                    (Pledge @ Pop! it’s a combined pragmatic cleaner and lubricant all in one) – I’ve got 4 litres of industrial package if you’re in desperate need – which it sounds like you are)
                    ….. missing you already Pop

  8. Stuart Munro 8

    I love it – the ‘Woodlouse declaration’ is a pretty good indication of the level of Gnat desperation.

  9. fender 9

    He’s not “dissimilar” to this Woodhouse either, the “shared DNA” is obvious..

  10. swordfish 10

    Well, yes, yes, Michael may not exactly be “related” to this Gallipoli veteran in terms of bloodlines and researchable, verifiable fact. But, as he’s implied, there’s a kind of artistic or literary truth to what he’s claiming. It has a sort of emotional human truthiness to it.

  11. Don't worry be happy 11

    Wee Mikey Woodhouse, pathetic little man, grasping for heroes where only poor frightened kids sent to slaughter for the King and the Empire can be found. Like his tiny little Boss’s fixation with big burly rugger players, seems like feelings of inadequacy as man to me. Gallipoli was a blood soaked scandalous mistake and should be mourned not celebrated. I have read women were banned from dawn parades on Anzac Day for years because their weeping disrupted the patriotic flag waving. War is always a lie…a hugely profitable lie. Time to take Anzac Day off the sociopaths….

  12. this really funny thing happened re woodhouse over a week ago..

    ..and i am still chuckling about it..

    ..there is this unrelenting booze-pimp/pusher..(who is also a walking example/warning of over-consumption of his product..)

    ..who is a panelist on the mora show on rnz..

    ..(millar is his name..i think..)

    ..he is also a rightwing trout/apologist..

    ..anyway..he said something about ten days ago..and i can’t ‘loose’ it..

    ..he made a political-prediction that ‘woody’ is a rising star in the national party..(!)

    ..(i know..!..i know..!..)

    .and that he will be the next deputy-leader of the party..(!)

    ..(i know..!..i know..!..fucken hilarious..!..eh..?..mora seemed somewhat gobsmacked at this orifice-pluck..saying:.’we will remember you said that..’..

    ..(indeed..!..moras’ prediction is true for me..i can’t fucken forget it..millars’ new benchmark in shark-jumping..)

    ..my first thought at this farcical/laughable-claim was:..’whoar..!..that’s a doozy..!.’..

    ..my second was that the national party must have a talent pool as deep as a petrie-dish…

    ..my third thought was:..’they must be companions in booze’..

    ..one piss-head reaching out to another..?..

    • fender 12.1

      +1 Phillip

      That “craft beer” regurgitating Millar is so boring and predictable I often confuse him with Jordon Williams the union hating taxpayers union dork..

  13. Wonderpup 13

    And now the poor love can’t remember who he blames for telling the story that he was mistaken.

    “Veterans’ Affairs Minister Michael Woodhouse says he cannot recollect whether he blamed the Otago Daily Times for publishing a case of mistaken identity.”


    A new Rowley Birkin QC in the making. perhaps?

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