Colin Craig: Hello, Colin Craig speaking
John Banks: Hi Colin, John Banks here..
Craig: John! Haven’t seen you since the anti-smacking march! How are you!
Banks: Oh yeah, the anti-smacking march. How many people did you get out in the end?
Craig: about 5,000! Pretty good, eh?
Banks: And it cost you..
Craig: $500,000. But you’ve got to spend money to make an impact, eh Johnny? Best investment I ever made.
Banks: Yeah. I wonder how much the lefties spent on that anti-mining march. Must have been about $5 million… Anyway, Colin, I didn’t call to talk about the past but about the future.
Craig: Oh, yeah?
Banks: Yeah. Listen, Colin, I hear you’re running for super-city mayor.
Craig: Maybe I am John. Maybe I am.
Banks: Look Colin, this isn’t part of the plan. Rodney and the boys down in Wellington have designed us the best council they can for business. I’ve been chosen as the Right’s candidate. This is my gig, Colin. If you run you’ll split the Right vote. Don’t ruin it for everyone.
Craig: Well, John, how’s that going for you? Got it all sown up for the Right have you?
Banks: Yeah, *cough*, sure. It’s under control.
Banks: It’s all under control. Have you seen the smear campaign we’ve been running? Wide spectrum of outlets, intense, personal. We’re going to keep it up until election day.
Craig: But didn’t that Herald poll show Brown is still ahead of you? And you know that’s a right biased poll.
Banks: Yeah but…
Craig: And didn’t you just lose your first face to face debate with Brown? Didn’t the Herald – the Herald for godssake – say Brown won a “resounding victory“?
Banks: Shut up, just shut up
Craig: See you on the campaign trail, John.