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Try hard Key’s audition tape

Written By: - Date published: 1:29 pm, August 6th, 2011 - 37 comments
Categories: Minister for Overseas Holidays, youtube - Tags:

January 2009. Jobs are being lost at 4,000 per week. Key and his government have just come back from a month long holiday. First thing he does: makes an audition tape for Letterman. Notice how all the jokes are taking the mickey out of our country. Makes you real proud.


37 comments on “Try hard Key’s audition tape”

  1. You know that David Letterman’s late show is a comedy show, right? And despite this being pretty weak comedy, it kind of makes sense to try do something that takes the piss out of NZ to get Letterman’s attention, rather than send them a tourism NZ brocuhre?

    Ya’ll can do better than this, not even Goff has a problem with this.


    • Colonial Viper 1.1

      You know that David Letterman’s late show is a comedy show, right?

      Hence it makes sense why Clown PM wanted on, even at cost to the tax payer.

      I would suggest that Key keep his day job, but well, 😈

    • Zetetic 1.2

      James. The question is why the PM is spending his time trying to get on a comedy show when 800 jobs a day are being lost. Not whether his audition tape is good but why he’s making one at all.

      • law 1.2.1

        I am surprised that you are asking that question. The intent of getting on the show was pretty clear, raise the profile of NZ, attract more tourists. More tourists = more jobs. Effectiveness of being on the Lettermen show is what you probably should be questioning, intent is pretty clear.

        • Zetetic

          So you honestly think that that makes sense?

          You honestly think that the biggest tool at the PM’s disposal for creating jobs was to get himself (not some other NZer, himself) on to do four minutes of comedy on the number 2 late night TV show in the US. And you think that, after seeing the PM of NZ do dome bad jokes for a few minutes people would say ‘I want to go to that country’? And that would create enough new tourists to create lots of new jobs?

          Any evidence any of that happened?

          Doesn’t that sound like an enormously fucked up way of trying to create jobs?

        • Banter

          “Effectiveness of being on the Lettermen show is what you probably should be questioning, intent is pretty clear”

          And if Goff had done the same it would be as equally awesome…..

          • Frank Macskasy

            “And if Goff had done the same it would be as equally awesome…..”

            We’ll never know. I suspect Goff would have more common sense, or would have been coached better.

  2. gobsmacked 2

    How bad is this video? Let’s ask the PM’s office …

    1) Key kept quiet about it for nearly three years

    2) It was only finally released because they had no choice, under the OIA

    3) It was released on Friday afternoon – the classic “dump and hide”

    4) On YouTube, comments have been disabled

    So they knew what the public would think of it. They were right – check out the avalanche of embarrassment in the comments on Stuff …


    Oh dear.

    • Colonial Viper 2.1

      I reckon someone should upload a version on YouTube which has comments activated. People here know how to download youtube videos right? (‘downloadhelper’ add on for Firefox will do it).

    • felix 2.2

      Comments seem to be on now.

  3. queenstfarmer 3

    Cheesy? Yes.

    Naff? Yeah.

    Getting significant publicity for NZ tourism at very low cost? Yes.

    Good on John for doing this.

    • millsy 3.1

      John Key can do no wrong in your eyes can he?

      Even though he is on track to drag down New Zealander’s living standards by 70-80% by:

      Holding down wages and conditions
      Allowing rents to skyrocket by destorying state housing
      selling our power companies and allowing prices to skyrocket


      • queenstfarmer 3.1.1

        He can do a lot of things wrong – he’s a politician after all.

        For example if he did any of those things you allege, that would be wrong.

        • millsy

          ummmm he kinda is…

        • Colonial Viper

          Oh so disingenuous…I thought business people like you preferred a low wage labour market. That’s what you brought him in for, right?

        • bbfloyd

          so you havn’t listened to a word key has uttered in the last two years then? or heard that the nats are campaigning on selling state assets, which, strangely enough, include power companies.

          are you using the same source of information as the leader of the conservative party? (hat tip; whaleoil)

    • Colonial Viper 3.2

      Good on John for doing this.

      How matey matey blokey blokey 1st name basis, ol’ John-boy, good lad!

      PM makes himself look like an idiot and makes us look like a land of clowns

      Getting significant publicity for NZ tourism at very low cost? Yes.

      PS mate you’re from Queenstown how are those tourism numbers working out for NZ this year? Yeah, I thought so.

      • queenstfarmer 3.2.1

        How matey matey blokey blokey 1st name basis

        Gosh, on that basis I must best matey mates with Winston, Helen, Phil, Hone…

        Tourism is down globally, has been for a while now, which is why creative efforts to generate publicity for low costs should generally be encouraged.

        • Colonial Viper

          RESULTS please not lame excuses for lame comedy appearances.

          I’m pretty sure that Key’s effort drove people off NZ, according to the numbers.

        • Ianupnorth

          Tourism is down because the NZ$ is strong and the US$ is weak, hence middle class people suddenly find NZ expensive – and Kiwi’s find Europe more value for money!

          Now if he actually thought about sorting our economy (which he has buggered up!)

    • gobsmacked 3.3

      Getting significant publicity for NZ tourism at very low cost

      But that’s extremely easy to do.

      Key could fart into the microphone at the next APEC conference. He could greet Obama with a selection of show tunes from the ‘Black and White Ministrels.’ He could upstage the leaders’ photo by getting drunk and doing a strip tease. He could make a fool of himself in a hundred different ways. Such as … this video.

      It would all create publicity. But … publicity that makes New Zealand look good? Not really.

      Silvio Berlusconi is rarely out of the headlines these days, for his antics. Meanwhile, Italy is in the poo. Go figure.

    • Queenstfarmer – Key’s appearance on Letterman was cringeworthy.

      But then, Americans are used to entertainers becoming politicians – I guess Key tried to reverse that trend.

      Epic fail.

    • Banter 3.5

      i refer you to my comment above. Im sure you would be falling over yourself to congratulate Phil on a job well done. Or would it be as I suspect, a total embarrassment etc etc blah blah. pi$$ off

      • McFlock 3.5.1

        Because if there’s one thing the NZ left are known for, it’s a unified front of pouring obsequious praise on its leadership no matter how badly they perform?
        Question two: are you a complete fucking moron, or just lying out of desperation?

      • Colonial Viper 3.5.2

        Im sure you would be falling over yourself to congratulate Phil on a job well done.

        Main difference is that Prime Minister Goff would have been invited on to the show by Letterman.

  4. Had Letterman asked Key where he usually spends his main holiday? Hawaii would have been the reply.

  5. prism 5

    Radar is funnier. I’ll vote for Radar for PM – he’s very quick and astute.

  6. randal 6

    yeah well I know where they keep the ham!

  7. felix 7

    Love the way they titled it before release to pretend it’s not an audition tape.

    Also love the way Keys pauses in weird places when he’s reading, like he doesn’t really know which bits are meant to be funny.

    It’s like he’s reading in a language he doesn’t understand.

  8. felix 8

    Spud Bolger is the real winner out of all this.

    He finally looks like a statesman.

  9. millsy 9

    When I first saw this, I actually thought it was someone taking the piss…

    • willie maley 9.1

      millsy, someone sent it to me on FB, I did not watch it at first as i thought it was by that guy who makes piss take videos of Key.
      Was I in for a surprise! The guy has no appreciation for the office he holds in this country, what a bollox.

  10. Tel 10

    Well that is definitive proof that the Infinite monkey theorem is wrong, i.e. given enough time, a hypothetical MonKey typing at random would, as part of its output, almost surely produce all of Shakespeare’s plays. All this MonKey typed up was some humourless cue cards for a Chump to read out.

  11. SHG 11

    If it’s embarrassing videos you’re after, check out coverage of Parliament. Sepuloni, Robertson, and Mallard have taken cringeworthiness to a whole new level this week.

    • Mac1 11.1

      SHG, which one of these is our Prime Mincer touting himself around the fairground?

      • SHG 11.1.1


        • Mac1

          Which of these three MPs you mention has the responsibility to maintain the dignity and gravitas of the office of Prime Minister, rather than debase it by whoring himself around American entertainment shows or camping it up on catwalks?

          Get that? Because John Key doesn’t, either.

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