Warning: Beware what you say on the net. Humourless bastards are after you.

Written By: - Date published: 1:42 pm, January 21st, 2010 - 23 comments
Categories: humour, police, scoundrels, Spying - Tags:

No Right Turn has a post about the weirdness of the police forces in Britain at present. Elements of our own police force have been acting just as weirdly about ‘terrorism’ over the past years bringing a new era of police stupidity and police doing actions that are subsequently found to be illegal1.

Joking about terrorism is now ThoughtCrime

We all know that its a bad idea to make bomb jokes in airports, as humourless security officials will not see the funny side. In the UK, that principle has now been extended to the internet. Last week, frustrated by the threat of snow disrupting his holiday plans, a man named Paul Chambers made a perfectly unremarkable comment on Twitter:

“Robin Hood airport is closed,” he wrote. “You’ve got a week and a bit to get your shit together, otherwise I’m blowing the airport sky high!!”

As a result, he was arrested under the Terrorism Act, interrogated for seven hours, suspended from his job, and banned from the airport for life. The humourless security state has expanded well beyond the airport, into our private conversations with our friends. Civil libertarian Tessa Mayes hits it on the head when she says:

“Making jokes about terrorism is considered a thought crime, mistakenly seen as a real act of harm or intention to commit harm. “The police’s actions seem laughable and suggest desperation in their efforts to combat terrorism, yet they have serious repercussions for all of us. In a democracy, our right to say what we please to each other should be non-negotiable, even on Twitter.”

That right is now seriously under threat. Its not one we should give up. And if the security services want to take it off us, maybe its time we got rid of them.

This is seriously weird. According to the Independent, the police in question didn’t even seem to know what twitter was. That isn’t surprising – I know what it is, but I’ve never used it2. But I’m a programmer in my 50’s which is probably far more GenY literate than some policeman.  Anyway someone dobbed this poor bastard into the police and the police appear to have taken a frustrated joke about an airport closed by the weather at its face value. Lets hope that they never go near a pub and listen the conversations there.

Much the same types of rules apply in NZ as well now, but with some interesting extensions. For instance being able to hack into your e-mail traffic at the ISPs, authorized by a warrant issued by the police themselves with no significant judicial oversight, and being able to track all of your contacts via txt.

Based on this type of case an innocent remark that may be looked at by a policeman in one of the paranoid security units (like the TUA and others) as being possibly related to terrorism can seriously screw your life. Moreover, if someone doesn’t like you or has a seriously flawed sense of humour they can anonymously dob you in just for the hell of it.

Bearing in mind the number of explicit or implied threats against various politicians, individuals, and institutions that I see here, there are a lot of you heading for interrogation. But of course we moderate out the worst offenders. The sewer should probably be classed as a terrorist organization and immediately banned. Whatever Cameron is involved with probably has enough problems already….

But be warned. The paranoid humourless technically illiterate bastards are watching you!

  1. For instance illegal actions by the police prior to the October 15th ‘terrorism raids’ – which I’m unable to discuss due to suppression orders. This case is rapidly descending into a farce for the police and a tragedy for those arrested. The raids happened in October 2007 and current court date is now set down for August 2011. I suspect that a lot of the delay is from the police side because they must have preferred to not have their illegal activities discussed prior to the passing of the Search and Surveillance Act.
  2. Rocky was surprised to realize a few weeks ago that for the first time in her life of being a programmer, she knew a lot more than I did about an area. This whole area of social networking on facebook, twitter, bebo, etc has simply never interested me. However under her urging I’m now starting to have a look at the facebook API’s. However I suspect that in terms of using social networking, I’ll leave it to the GenY.

23 comments on “Warning: Beware what you say on the net. Humourless bastards are after you. ”

  1. vto 1

    Lets test it out.

    All of us make those sort of jokes and report back on resultant authoritarian actions.

    Swamp the system.

    Someone else go first ………

      • Whale Oil 1.1.1

        Ok, I’ve put a HUGE bomb in Auckland Airport. In fact it’s nucular.

        And as soon as I’ve paid my fines, I’m off to the UN to assasinate Helengrad with my new gun.

        [lprent: Figures. Don’t you have enough problems with the police already? ]

  2. logie97 2

    “That right is now seriously under threat.” Absolutely and given some of the vitriol passing as comment that The Right commenters express on blogs and on talk-back radio, one would assume they should be concerned, unless of course they have friends in high places.

  3. rocky 3

    But I’m a programmer in my 50’s which is probably far more GenY literate than some policeman.

    Until you actually join facebook as a regular user like the 1 million other New Zealanders, and start to realise its benefits in both political activism and on a personal level, I’m not going to agree in any sense that you are gen y literate! Or for that matter modern technology literate! 😉

    Nice post though!

  4. ben 4

    Not often I like a post on the Standard, but this is spot on.

    What I don’t understand about the Left is why freedom of thought and speech is so jealously protected (hear hear) yet other important freedoms like freedom of contract are not. When I read about police coming down on a citizen like a ton of bricks for something harmless, I see essentially the same thing as when government forces me to buy ACC’s overpriced and arbitrary compensation, or buy railways, or go along with a recycling scheme I do not believe does anything, or subsidise this that and the other. To me these are two sides of the same coin: the state overstepping its mandate and operating against citizens on the basis of some imaginary harm.

    • Pascal's bookie 4.1

      Good comment, hate to hit and run on it, (cooking dinner), but a few questions that hopefully point to my position. (rather than, theleft’s)

      i)- where does the state’s mandate come from?

      ii)- is the extent of that mandate permanent, or is it subject to change?

      iii)- if the latter how does that mandate change?

      iv)- what is necessary to enable that?

      • Pascal's bookie 4.1.1

        ‘k, I’ll expand a wee bit, and answer me own questions.

        i) The people. A states mandate comes from the consent of the governed.

        ii) given i) the extent of the mandate cannot be fixed. If the people wish for their government to do / not be able to do something then that is the mandate the government has. If we said that the governments mandate could not extend to building roads or providing insurance, we would be denying the people the right to have the government they wish to have. The government they then have, becomes illegitimate.

        iii) that mandate changes through citizens deciding about and activating for the type of government they wish to have.

        iv) this requires civil freedoms of speech, thought, religion. Without these freedoms the citizens cannot act to change the mandate that their government has. So by necessity, to maintain government legitimacy these freedoms must remain intact.

    • Draco T Bastard 4.2

      I see essentially the same thing as when government forces me to buy ACC’s overpriced and arbitrary compensation, or buy railways, or go along with a recycling scheme I do not believe does anything, or subsidise this that and the other.

      So, the cheapest, most efficient accident compensation scheme in the entire world is overpriced?

      Railways are a natural monopoly, is actually a necessity (especially with Peak Oil) and should be kept out of private hands to stop price gouging.

      Recycling brings us closer to sustainability and so is, again, a necessity. Your belief makes no difference to this reality. It could possibly be done better but the present government took away the R&D tax credits that would encourage actually doing something about it.

      Some things need to be subsidised as they are a needed service and yet will never be commercially viable. This is a prime reason why we have a society and why we pay taxes.

  5. vto 5

    I can’t believe nobody has posted something likely to attract their attention yet.

  6. Rex Widerstrom 6

    Well call me paranoid but I envisage a backroom conversation something like this:

    Politician: Shit, we need to stop all this criticism of us! We’ve got most of the daily editors in our pockets, but this proliferation of bloody twatters and facejournals and things means if I search on my name plus any derogatory term you can think of, there’s thousands of people saying bad things!! Do something!!

    Police Commissioner: We’re doing our best sir, but the proles tend to get uppity if we suugest we have any right to censor what they say. I mean we’ve got away with blue murder in terms of controlling what they do… we can stop and search them for no reason, lock ’em up for days with no charge, hell we can even stop ’em seeing a lawyer for ages. But actually stopping them voicing an opinion?

    Politician: Brilliant! How did we get away with all those civil liberties violations? We said they were needed to combat terrorism! And because the proles think anyone who looks a bit different is about to blow them to kingdom come, even if it’s just a bloody Sikh bus driver, they lay down and let us walk all over them because that was the “price” of being “safe”.

    Police Commissoner: I don’t getcha, sir. Not that me and the lads don’t like getting the long baton and the tazer out at the first sign of lippy protester…

    Politician: Look, just get one of your younger constables to stop spending all day on line pretending to be a 12 year old schoolgirl to entrap sad old fantasists and have him search these twatter things for anything that sounds like a terrorist.

    Police Commissoner: I’m told terrorists don’t usually put their plans online,sir.

    Politician: I said sounds like. I don’t care if it’s an accountant from Milton Keynes bitching about the weather. If it sounds vaguely terroristy, arrest the bugger. The proles will grumble, but but we’ll tell ’em we can’t afford not to be vigilant when protecting them from harm. Once that’s established as okay, we just start including people criticising the government.

    Police Commissioner: Some of these mouthy civil libertarians will kick up a stink though sir. What if the proles start to get antsy?

    Politician: Good point. On your way out tell my secretary to put the broadcasting fuinding people through. It’s time we had some more reality TV.

    • lprent 6.1

      So very cynical…

      Of course it could just be silly politicians giving powers to people who know bugger all about anything.

  7. ianmac from Abu Dhabi 7

    Yesterday the UAE paper, the “National”, reported a case of a 60 year old man who when asked by another passenger on his flight if it was OK to leave a parcel on the empty seat between them, said “I hope its not a bomb.” A flight stewardess heard him and reported it. The man was arrested and removed from the plane at the Abu Dhabi airport, taken before the court, and is reportedly in prison. A funny joke?

  8. J Mex 8

    Awwww,…

    When I read the header I thought the post whould be an update on The Standard’s moderation policy!

    Sorry – couldn’t resist 😉

    [lprent: I’m sadistic when I reluctantly have to moderate – not humorless.. 😈 Afterall some clown just chewed up come of my valuable time]

  9. randal 9

    how big a nucular bomb would blubberguts need to blow his hat off. if brains were dynamite he wouldnt have enough of that.

Links to post

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • EV road user charges bill passes
    Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed the passing of legislation to move light electric vehicles (EVs) and plug-in hybrid electric vehicles (PHEVs) into the road user charges system from 1 April.  “It was always intended that EVs and PHEVs would be exempt from road user charges until they reached two ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    22 hours ago
  • Bill targets illegal, unregulated fishing in international waters
    New Zealand is strengthening its ability to combat illegal fishing outside its domestic waters and beef up regulation for its own commercial fishers in international waters through a Bill which had its first reading in Parliament today. The Fisheries (International Fishing and Other Matters) Amendment Bill 2023 sets out stronger ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    23 hours ago
  • Reserve Bank appointments
    Economists Carl Hansen and Professor Prasanna Gai have been appointed to the Reserve Bank Monetary Policy Committee, Finance Minister Nicola Willis announced today. The Monetary Policy Committee (MPC) is the independent decision-making body that sets the Official Cash Rate which determines interest rates.  Carl Hansen, the executive director of Capital ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    24 hours ago
  • Stronger protections for apartment owners
    Apartment owners and buyers will soon have greater protections as further changes to the law on unit titles come into effect, Housing Minister Chris Bishop says. “The Unit Titles (Strengthening Body Corporate Governance and Other Matters) Amendment Act had already introduced some changes in December 2022 and May 2023, and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Travel focused on traditional partners and Middle East
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters will travel to Egypt and Europe from this weekend.    “This travel will focus on a range of New Zealand’s traditional diplomatic and security partnerships while enabling broad engagement on the urgent situation in Gaza,” Mr Peters says.   Mr Peters will attend the NATO Foreign ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Keep safe on our roads this Easter
    Transport Minister Simeon Brown is encouraging all road users to stay safe, plan their journeys ahead of time, and be patient with other drivers while travelling around this Easter long weekend. “Road safety is a responsibility we all share, and with increased traffic on our roads expected this Easter we ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Cost of living support for over 1.4 million Kiwis
    About 1.4 million New Zealanders will receive cost of living relief through increased government assistance from April 1 909,000 pensioners get a boost to Superannuation, including 5000 veterans 371,000 working-age beneficiaries will get higher payments 45,000 students will see an increase in their allowance Over a quarter of New Zealanders ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Tenancy reviews for social housing restart
    Ensuring social housing is being provided to those with the greatest needs is front of mind as the Government restarts social housing tenancy reviews, Associate Housing Minister Tama Potaka says. “Our relentless focus on building a strong economy is to ensure we can deliver better public services such as social ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Kermadec Ocean Sanctuary plan halted
    The Kermadec Ocean Sanctuary will not go ahead, with Cabinet deciding to stop work on the proposed reserve and remove the Bill that would have established it from Parliament’s order paper. “The Kermadec Ocean Sanctuary Bill would have created a 620,000 sq km economic no-go zone,” Oceans and Fisheries Minister ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Cutting all that dam red tape
    Dam safety regulations are being amended so that smaller dams won’t be subject to excessive compliance costs, Minister for Building and Construction Chris Penk says. “The coalition Government is focused on reducing costs and removing unnecessary red tape so we can get the economy back on track.  “Dam safety regulations ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Drought support extended to parts of North Island
    The coalition Government is expanding the medium-scale adverse event classification to parts of the North Island as dry weather conditions persist, Agriculture Minister Todd McClay announced today. “I have made the decision to expand the medium-scale adverse event classification already in place for parts of the South Island to also cover the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Passage of major tax bill welcomed
    The passing of legislation giving effect to coalition Government tax commitments has been welcomed by Finance Minister Nicola Willis.  “The Taxation (Annual Rates for 2023–24, Multinational Tax, and Remedial Matters) Bill will help place New Zealand on a more secure economic footing, improve outcomes for New Zealanders, and make our tax system ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Lifting economy through science, tertiary sectors
    Science, Innovation and Technology Minister Judith Collins and Tertiary Education and Skills Minister Penny Simmonds today announced plans to transform our science and university sectors to boost the economy. Two advisory groups, chaired by Professor Sir Peter Gluckman, will advise the Government on how these sectors can play a greater ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government announces Budget priorities
    The Budget will deliver urgently-needed tax relief to hard-working New Zealanders while putting the government’s finances back on a sustainable track, Finance Minister Nicola Willis says.  The Finance Minister made the comments at the release of the Budget Policy Statement setting out the Government’s Budget objectives. “The coalition Government intends ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Government to consider accommodation solution
    The coalition Government will look at options to address a zoning issue that limits how much financial support Queenstown residents can get for accommodation. Cabinet has agreed on a response to the Petitions Committee, which had recommended the geographic information MSD uses to determine how much accommodation supplement can be ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government approves extension to Royal Commission of Inquiry into Abuse in Care
    Cabinet has agreed to a short extension to the final reporting timeframe for the Royal Commission into Abuse in Care from 28 March 2024 to 26 June 2024, Internal Affairs Minister Brooke van Velden says.                                         “The Royal Commission wrote to me on 16 February 2024, requesting that I consider an ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • $18m boost for Kiwis travelling to health treatment
    The coalition Government is delivering an $18 million boost to New Zealanders needing to travel for specialist health treatment, Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says.   “These changes are long overdue – the National Travel Assistance (NTA) scheme saw its last increase to mileage and accommodation rates way back in 2009.  ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • PM’s Prizes for Space to showcase sector’s talent
    The Government is recognising the innovative and rising talent in New Zealand’s growing space sector, with the Prime Minister and Space Minister Judith Collins announcing the new Prime Minister’s Prizes for Space today. “New Zealand has a growing reputation as a high-value partner for space missions and research. I am ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Concerns conveyed to China over cyber activity
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters has confirmed New Zealand’s concerns about cyber activity have been conveyed directly to the Chinese Government.     “The Prime Minister and Minister Collins have expressed concerns today about malicious cyber activity, attributed to groups sponsored by the Chinese Government, targeting democratic institutions in both New ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Independent Reviewers appointed for School Property Inquiry
    Independent Reviewers appointed for School Property Inquiry Education Minister Erica Stanford today announced the appointment of three independent reviewers to lead the Ministerial Inquiry into the Ministry of Education’s School Property Function.  The Inquiry will be led by former Minister of Foreign Affairs Murray McCully. “There is a clear need ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Brynderwyns open for Easter
    State Highway 1 across the Brynderwyns will be open for Easter weekend, with work currently underway to ensure the resilience of this critical route being paused for Easter Weekend to allow holiday makers to travel north, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “Today I visited the Brynderwyn Hills construction site, where ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Speech to the Infrastructure Funding & Financing Conference
    Introduction Good morning to you all, and thanks for having me bright and early today. I am absolutely delighted to be the Minister for Infrastructure alongside the Minister of Housing and Resource Management Reform. I know the Prime Minister sees the three roles as closely connected and he wants me ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Parliamentary network breached by the PRC
    New Zealand stands with the United Kingdom in its condemnation of People’s Republic of China (PRC) state-backed malicious cyber activity impacting its Electoral Commission and targeting Members of the UK Parliament. “The use of cyber-enabled espionage operations to interfere with democratic institutions and processes anywhere is unacceptable,” Minister Responsible for ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • NZ to provide support for Solomon Islands election
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters and Defence Minister Judith Collins today announced New Zealand will provide logistics support for the upcoming Solomon Islands election. “We’re sending a team of New Zealand Defence Force personnel and two NH90 helicopters to provide logistics support for the election on 17 April, at the request ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • NZ-EU FTA gains Royal Assent for 1 May entry to force
    The European Union Free Trade Agreement Legislation Amendment Bill received Royal Assent today, completing the process for New Zealand’s ratification of its free trade agreement with the European Union.    “I am pleased to announce that today, in a small ceremony at the Beehive, New Zealand notified the European Union ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • COVID-19 inquiry attracts 11,000 submissions
    Public consultation on the terms of reference for the Royal Commission into COVID-19 Lessons has concluded, Internal Affairs Minister Hon Brooke van Velden says.  “I have been advised that there were over 11,000 submissions made through the Royal Commission’s online consultation portal.” Expanding the scope of the Royal Commission of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Families to receive up to $75 a week help with ECE fees
    Hardworking families are set to benefit from a new credit to help them meet their early childcare education (ECE) costs, Finance Minister Nicola Willis says. From 1 July, parents and caregivers of young children will be supported to manage the rising cost of living with a partial reimbursement of their ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Unlocking a sustainable, low-emissions future
    A specialised Independent Technical Advisory Group (ITAG) tasked with preparing and publishing independent non-binding advice on the design of a "green" (sustainable finance) taxonomy rulebook is being established, Climate Change Minister Simon Watts says.  “Comprising experts and market participants, the ITAG's primary goal is to deliver comprehensive recommendations to the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Chief of Army thanked for his service
    Defence Minister Judith Collins has thanked the Chief of Army, Major General John Boswell, DSD, for his service as he leaves the Army after 40 years. “I would like to thank Major General Boswell for his contribution to the Army and the wider New Zealand Defence Force, undertaking many different ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Minister to meet Australian counterparts and Manufacturing Industry Leaders
    25 March 2024 Minister to meet Australian counterparts and Manufacturing Industry Leaders Small Business, Manufacturing, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly will travel to Australia for a series of bi-lateral meetings and manufacturing visits. During the visit, Minister Bayly will meet with his Australian counterparts, Senator Tim Ayres, Ed ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Government commits nearly $3 million for period products in schools
    Government commits almost $3 million for period products in schools The Coalition Government has committed $2.9 million to ensure intermediate and secondary schools continue providing period products to those who need them, Minister of Education Erica Stanford announced today. “This is an issue of dignity and ensuring young women don’t ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Speech – Making it easier to build.
    Good morning, it’s great to be here.   First, I would like to acknowledge the New Zealand Institute of Building Surveyors and thank you for the opportunity to be here this morning.  I would like to use this opportunity to outline the Government’s ambitious plan and what we hope to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Pacific youth to shine from boost to Polyfest
    Minister for Pacific Peoples Dr Shane Reti has announced the Government’s commitment to the Auckland Secondary Schools Māori and Pacific Islands Cultural Festival, more commonly known as Polyfest. “The Ministry for Pacific Peoples is a longtime supporter of Polyfest and, as it celebrates 49 years in 2024, I’m proud to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • 2024 Ngarimu VC and 28th (Māori) Battalion Memorial Scholarships announced
    ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Speech to Breast Cancer Foundation – Insights Conference
    Before moving onto the substance of today’s address, I want to recognise the very significant and ongoing contribution the Breast Cancer Foundation makes to support the lives of New Zealand women and their families living with breast cancer. I very much enjoy working with you. I also want to recognise ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Kiwi research soars to International Space Station
    New Zealand has notched up a first with the launch of University of Canterbury research to the International Space Station, Science, Innovation and Technology and Space Minister Judith Collins says. The hardware, developed by Dr Sarah Kessans, is designed to operate autonomously in orbit, allowing scientists on Earth to study ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Speech to the New Zealand Planning Institute
    Introduction Thank you for inviting me to speak with you today and I’m sorry I can’t be there in person. Yesterday I started in Wellington for Breakfast TV, spoke to a property conference in Auckland, and finished the day speaking to local government in Christchurch, so it would have been ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Support for Northland emergency response centre
    The Coalition Government is contributing more than $1 million to support the establishment of an emergency multi-agency coordination centre in Northland. Emergency Management and Recovery Minister Mark Mitchell announced the contribution today during a visit of the Whangārei site where the facility will be constructed.  “Northland has faced a number ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Celebrating 20 years of Whakaata Māori
    New Zealanders have enjoyed a broader range of voices telling the story of Aotearoa thanks to the creation of Whakaata Māori 20 years ago, says Māori Development Minister Tama Potaka. The minister spoke at a celebration marking the national indigenous media organisation’s 20th anniversary at their studio in Auckland on ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Some commercial fishery catch limits increased
    Commercial catch limits for some fisheries have been increased following a review showing stocks are healthy and abundant, Ocean and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones says. The changes, along with some other catch limit changes and management settings, begin coming into effect from 1 April 2024. "Regular biannual reviews of fish ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago

Page generated in The Standard by Wordpress at 2024-03-29T02:19:42+00:00