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What will David Cunliffe be accused of next?

Written By: - Date published: 5:44 pm, July 23rd, 2014 - 112 comments
Categories: david cunliffe, election 2014, Media, Satire - Tags:

Labour David Cunliffe grim-1

Like many of you I am struggling to imagine what David Cunliffe will be accused of next because so many of the current allegations are, well, a little bit naff.

So I asked some Facebook friends to suggest what allegations will be made next about David and they came up with these:

  • He did not take the garbage out for his landlady
  • He frowned during a Vote Positive campaign.
  • He has not ruled out having torrid nights of unbridled lust with Kim Dotcom.
  • He once watched a Rolf Harris show.
  • He was the person who dropped flour bombs onto Eden Park during the 1981 Springbok Tour.
  • He claims to have had no involvement with the sinking of the Rainbow Warrior, but has no proof.
  • He danced with a man, who danced with a girl, who danced with Matthew Hooten.
  • He wore a tie that was not exactly Labour red.
  • He leaves the toilet seat up.
  • He dodged the Vietnam draft by pretending to be a toddler.
  • He is Winston Peters’ love child.
  • He has refused to rule out challenging his own leadership.

There were many other very funny ones which have been left out on the basis they may offend.  Anyway knock yourselves out but keep it humorous and non defamatory.

And please note that intellectual property in this post and the comments is retained and if any third party should print any of the allegations a royalty payment will be expected …

112 comments on “What will David Cunliffe be accused of next?”

  1. that he’s a member of the illuminati..?

  2. that he was on the grassy knoll..?

    ..that the gfc is directly down to him…?

    ..that he was the one who got rid of that lost/lamented m&m colour..?

    ..and is he the one who has all the pairs for my odd socks..?

    ..whoar..!

  3. One Anonymous Bloke 3

    I am his secret lover. Sorry Kim and Laila, you guys are exciting but Dave has the moves.

    • Hanswurst 3.1

      That’s not terribly scandalous. Now, if your name were “Two Anonymous Blokes”…

  4. that he is the secret love-child of muldoon..

    ..(if you squint..you can see it..)

  5. One Anonymous Bloke 5

    It’s pretty clear he should have apologised for being my secret lover by now. It’s been eighteen minutes and everything. Also, he made the mistake of getting into bed with a guy who’s linked to Kim and Laila.

  6. that there is video of him when he was really young…apologising…

  7. that when in america..he used to hang out/party with the future mayor of toronto…

  8. anker 8

    He needs to apologize to Paddy Gower for not plotting the Paddy Gower (fantasy) coup at the conference in 2012.

    • and re gower..i’ve heard hes ‘pregnant..and that key is the father..(!)

      ..apparantly it happened on that trip they did to washington together..

      ..and what is complicating matters..is that key is refusing to acknowledge paternity..

      ..gower says he’ll keep on working as long as he can..

      ..and that he is sure that viewers will ‘understand’…

  9. Sam Welsh 9

    How about being largely to blame for reducing Labour’s support and preventing a change of Government?

    Sorry, I know this is a jovial post and I completely understand where you are coming from with it.

    The problem for me is, Labour’s problems are no joke. There are a lot of writers here heaping blame on the media. There are numerous reasons why this is both futile and wrong. The media can be unfairly hard on Labour, but this is not new and Labour should be fully aware of it by now.

    Mickey, do you accept that David’s leadership is not working? If so, how can he turn it around? If it is working, why are Labour polling so low?

    • mickysavage 9.1

      Greetings Sam. Your comment was stuck in moderation and I had to release it.

      This post is jovial and there will be many other opportunities for you to discuss the merits or otherwise of the leadership. If I was to give you a quick summary of my personal thoughts they are:

      1. David is not even ten months into his leadership. This takes years to get right. Key had a dream ride but was two years in the leadership when he became PM, Helen took 5 years, Norm Kirk took even longer.
      2. The media are unfairly hard on Cunliffe, in my view exceedingly so. Matters that are glossed over with Key become the most searingly intensive reasons for criticism for Cunliffe. Like wearing a red scarf or taking a short holiday with his kids. Words fail me.
      3. The right are very good at seeding stories, sparingly so.
      4. Labour needs more discipline. MPs talking about moas and not sticking to agrees positions are causing me to age early.
      5. It is the economy. Thanks to the credit fuelled sugar rush that we are able to have thanks to Michael Cullen people are feeling pretty good about things. It is always hard to turn things around.

      Feel free to raise this in open mike tomorrow morning. For now a few of us are annoyed at the incredibly weird things Cunliffe is being accused of so I thought that we should have a laugh about it.

      • SW 9.1.1

        Fair enough Micky, and who am I to get in the way of some quality banter between my fellow leftists?

        I frequent this blog often but hardly find the time to comment – just have some rare home time tonight and can engage in political discussion with anyone who wants to.

        Thanks for you quick personal thoughts, some of which of agree. My concern is that there has been significant downturn in that ten months (unlike Key, Helen and Norm – even if it took Helen and Norm some time to build support).

        It’s also obvious that we don’t have 1 let alone 2, 3, 4 or 5 years for David to turn things around, and that wasn’t what was promised.

        Put it this way, would this election be so entirely loose-able if Shearer was still Leader? Bizarrely, I think the answer is no. That is depressing.

        • Kiwiri 9.1.1.1

          SW: Were you in deep sleep from Dec 2011 to Aug 2013?

        • poem 9.1.1.2

          SW David Shearer would not be able to handle John key, particularly in the debates, it would be a free pass to a third term, Shearer is no threat to John Key, but David Cunliffe is, hence the unprecedented level of media attacks and orchestrated smear campaigns emanating from the PM’s office.
          David Cunliffe is even getting attacked for wearing a red scarf for christ sake. Its downright petty and its gone past the ridiculous. People are getting increasingly angry, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this backfires on national/media.

          The media thinks it can win national the election, and they are doing everything in their power to discredit, destabilize and oust David Cunliffe out even before the election proper has begun, and knock Labour out of contention.

          The election proper hasn’t even begun yet, its not going to be boring, and its going to be tight, even Key admits that, and the left block are looking good and even Winston Peter’s seems to be on the same page, its way more interesting and a far better alternative, than the crumbling circus of john key.

    • poem 9.2

      Looks like you got sucked in by the national/media smearmongering, character assassination spin machine Sam Welsh. Do you realise that labour party membership has increased and impressively too. I have to ask, what makes you think the polls are true anyway? the 2011 election proved them wrong. Has it ever occured to you, that the polls are being used as electioneering tools to hoodwink kiwis.
      Did you watch TV 3 expose on polling that showed the change in technology re mobile phones, and the fact that alot of people no longer have landlines, have made polls dodgy, that they are inaccurate and unreliable.
      There is an overkill of polls that are relentlessly getting rammed down our throats and this poll overkill is turning people off, many dont believe them anymore, and they certainly do not reflect reality.

      • SW 9.2.1

        Poem – “looks like you got sucked in by the national/media smearmongering” – why, because I don’t accept that Labour sitting in the mid 20’s is a positive sign for the upcoming election?

        Yes I do realise that Party membership is up. I appreciate that Party members are right behind David. However I can’t help not ignore that all tangible indications suggest that Labour Party support amongst non-members is dissipating.

        “What makes you think the Polls are true” – polls have their limitations, but you can’t ignore them. If you think Labour’s support is really in the mid 30s right now then good on you.

        Some of the media coverage I’ve found genuinely strange and unfair. Equally, some of the decisions David has made have left me dumbfounded – particularly with the media scrutiny he is facing.

        Labour is not a tight ship right now and it is patently obvious. People are noticing. Cries of media bias, incorrect polls etc by the activist base will not turn things around.

        • poem 9.2.1.1

          You are basing your entire opinion on dodgy polls. Who said the polls are true? and dont put words into my mouth, I never claimed to give a figure as to labour’s support, I dont believe in the polls at all. A Lot of people do not believe in them anymore, theres been an overkill of polls and many feel that polls are not reflecting reality. I think the polls are being used as electioneering tools to hoodwink just as they were in 2011.

          Everything David Cunliffe says and does is being taken out of context, put through a meat grinder and skewered to give the desired effect.
          I’m amazed by David Cunliffe’s incredible strength of character to withstand the relentless daily barrage of one media attack after another, much of which is made up.

          When it comes to msm, David Cunliffe is damned if he does and damned if he doesnt.

          The people are noticing what the media wants them to see and hear, and they are becoming increasingly frustrated and angry against the msm. Labour is under new managment, give it a chance before you kick the hell out of it, the election proper hasn’t even begun yet, and a lot can happen between now and election day.

          • SW 9.2.1.1.1

            Hey look thanks for replying again, appreciated.

            To be clear, my opinion isn’t based solely on the polls. It’s based on what I’ve seen, things like -DC being over the top when winning leadership race; DC using a trust to ensure donor identities remain anonymous; DC getting numbers wrong in his state of the nation speech; DC breaching electoral laws in a tweet; DC’s ‘man apology’ etc etc.

            You might think the media narrative has got to me. Maybe. But my views is that the above (among other examples) simply show DC’s political instincts to be lacking.

            None of the are above are negative stories if DC didn’t do something ill-conceived. You can argue things like the apology should not have been a story, but why not? A large portion of NZ were genuinely stumped as to why someone would apologise for being a man. I got what he meant, but was it a vote winner or a vote loser? If he doesn’t care about getting votes then Labour won’t get voted in, simple as that.

            There also things I have heard from my limited Party sources. Does anyone want to dispute that DC is largely disliked by his Caucus members?

            Your are right that DC is getting skewered in the media. That is also not a good thing, as Leader he needs to find a way to get better coverage.

            I do empathise with you sentiment, but I can see that come election day when Labour get below 30 and can’t form a government all these people singing David’s praises will have the same excuses they do today and be asking for a purge of the Labour Party Caucus with DC remaining on.

            • SW 9.2.1.1.1.1

              It’s fine that you don’t believe in the polls and all that, but were actually pretty accurate at predicting Labour’s support in 2011 – they did over estimate National and underestimate NZ First (as usual, but teapot scandal played apart).

              Media relying on individual polls can be worrying, but when you average the polls out over time they tend to show broad trends and give a picture of where support lies. Right now, they don’t look good for Labour (and I don’t find that at all surprising considering the last 6 months).

              As I’ve said elsewhere, I am dumbfounded that the Party has gone so far backwards since dumping Shearer. That just didn’t seem possible the day of the infamous snapper stunt in Question time…

            • Anne 9.2.1.1.1.2

              ,

              …my opinion isn’t based solely on the polls. It’s based on what I’ve seen, things like -DC being over the top when winning leadership race; DC using a trust to ensure donor identities remain anonymous; DC getting numbers wrong in his state of the nation speech; DC breaching electoral laws in a tweet; DC’s ‘man apology’ etc etc.

              And you’ve just proven that you have done exactly what you say you haven’t done. Your opinion has been based on media disinformation without (apparently) any comprehensive ability to ascertain the actual facts.

              You were asked (nicely) to transfer your opinions to Open Mike because this thread was a bit of light-hearted fun. Instead you stayed and derailed the thread. I think I was right. You’re nothing but a concern tr–l.

              • SW

                Anne – I don’t often comment here and I really detest you telling me where I can and cannot comment. I understand it is a humour thread, but this is a left wing political blog. As a left wing non party activist I am simply trying to engage. This was the thread I chose because I thought it most relevant for what I want to discuss – that blaming the media is futile (even if wrapped in satire).

                Calling me a troll is just fucking disrespectful quite frankly. I’m spending my own time engaging with people that care about the Labour cause in a completely respectful manner and you judge and label. You know not one thing about me. I suggest you reconsider.

                Those things I listed are not opinions – they are things that actually happened! You can have opinions about each one and have that opinion shaped by the media, but DC did in fact use a trust; DC did get numbers wrong in that speech; DC did ‘technically’ breach electoral laws in the tweet and he did apologise for being a man ‘right now’.

                Granted, being over top in his acceptance speech is 100% my opinion. I only mentioned that because I was genuinely relieved when he was voted in as Leader, but the tone of that speech I found a little off.

                I didn’t anticipate his Leadership was going to mean Labour polling in the mid 20s weeks out from the election. Like many supporters, I’m really fucked off, and not because I’m stupid.

  10. Anne 10

    He far.. passed wind in a public place 25 years ago.

    hat-tip to Tom Jackson – http://thestandard.org.nz/claudette-hauiti-is-gone/#comment-853055

  11. fender 11

    He failed to apologise to misogynists for letting his awesome wife Karen do a great deal of the talking when Campbell live came for dinner.

  12. fender 12

    David has not yet apologised to Key for scoring twice as much on an IQ test.

  13. SW 13

    I left a post but it appears to have been deleted?

    • freedom 13.1

      Hi SW,
      There is a categories line, found directly under the thread Title.
      Each thread is accompanied by such categories.
      This thread was marked as satire.

      hope that helps clarify why replies to your comments
      are not being met in the timbre you may have expected 🙂

      • SW 13.1.1

        Ha yes thanks freedom, a fail on my behalf.

        I’d post on the critiquing Cunliffe thread but I don’t see one.

        • freedom 13.1.1.1

          plenty of those around SW,
          Tuwhera Mike has actually seen a lot of that lately

          Some interesting discussions in this thread from earlier in the week

          Work life balance

          • SW 13.1.1.1.1

            I meant a post critiquing Cunliffe, not a positive post that has negative comments in the thread.

            I thought that was a good post by Micky though.

            • freedom 13.1.1.1.1.1

              Anything stopping you writing one up and submitting it for consideration as a Guest Post?

  14. halfcrown 14

    He said “good morning” making Armstrong write a column in the Herald demanding his resignation as it pissed down with rain.

  15. One Anonymous Bloke 15

    Still no apology for allegations of his secret love affair with a known Green voter and self-confessed associate of Laila and Kim.

  16. SW 16

    Not sure what happened to my previous comment, but it was an attempt to spark discussion.

    Sorry this isn’t inline with the jovial nature of this post, but how about:

    Being responsible for seeing Labour’s support dissipate and preventing a change of government in 2014?

    • Anne 16.1

      DNFTT.

      • SW 16.1.1

        Anne, I can understand why you would post that but I assure you I am not a troll.

        What I am is a Labour Party supporter (not a member/party activist). I’m not in anyway involved with politics. If I had a vote in the party leadership contest, I would have voted Cunliffe (and I thought Shearer had to go).

        That said, I cannot believe how things have gone. There is so much written here that blames the media. Ignoring the fact that is completely futile, is it simply media bias at play here or something else?

        • Anne 16.1.1.1

          You should have worked out by now there has been a very nasty black ops. campaign being waged against David Cunliffe eg. the Donghua Liu allegations- all of which proved to be a pack of lies. Who put Liu up to it?

          National’s dirty tricks brigade is almost certainly being orchestrated in the first instance from John Key’s office. His little office mate, Jason Ede feeds the stuff to Slater/Farrar or members of the media. They lap it up and run with it. Nasty vitriolic stuff, but the public by and large hasn’t woken up to what is happening.

          • SW 16.1.1.1.1

            The Donghua Lui allegation as printed in the Herald is perhaps the worst piece of political journalism I have seen – and I agree that it was most likely planted by National.

            I don’t disagree that the media is being unduly harsh on Cunliffe. But this is politics. It’s not a conspiracy against the Labour Party. Unfair news stories have been run against Labour in the past and they have remained popular.

            Blaming National’s dirty tricks brigade is not going to change this election.

            It seems to be that Labour is very much a party divided, lacking cohesion and discipline, and a party in no way ready to govern.

            Does the opposition not look like a government in waiting because of the media, or because after 6 years in opposition they are simply not ready for government?

            • Hanswurst 16.1.1.1.1.1

              Blaming National’s dirty tricks brigade is not going to change this election.

              In and of itself, no. However, if it can be established that any of these stories originate from those in the employ of Key or senior National Party figures, or even if a significant number of ordinary people can be made heavily suspicious that that is the case, I think National will be shot for the coming election. I also think that the odds of such a fact being established are not terribly long, since it is most probably true.

  17. One Anonymous Bloke 17

    He was a National Party member of parliament from 1990 to 1993, and used to host cooking shows on television.

  18. greywarbler 18

    David deleted SW’s post at 7.14 pm above (which was possibly a good thing.)

  19. greywarbler 19

    He is boring as he is always talking about politics.

  20. greywarbler 20

    He hasn’t had exotic photographs taken of him barechested and sleek as a seal by his pool.

  21. adam 21

    Breathing

    Voting

    Having an opinion

    Not being red neck enough

    Possibly being a race traitor, and liking Maori and Pacific people

    Not listening when the right-wing tell him what to do – no wait, that’s why they keep having a go at him – silly me, here I was thinking we lived in a democracy

  22. Tom Jackson 22

    FFS, how can anyone have missed:

    “We can now reveal that it was in fact David Cunliffe who stole Lindy Chamberlain’s baby, Azaria”.

  23. Tom Jackson 23

    Cunliffe and his wife were once Amway distributors.

  24. The Lone Haranguer 24

    1) David alone got snifters taken off the market
    2) David once admired Roger Douglas’ new jersey
    3) David is a facebook friend of Wayne Barnes
    4) David attended at party once that was attended by a friend of a friend of a cousin of Alan Gibbs
    5) David cant actually ski
    6) David beat Chuck Norris in an arm wrestle
    7) David is closely related to Kim Jong-Un

  25. David Cunliffe knowingly knew that his staff didn’t know what nobody was meant to know about knowing who not to know and therefore knew that they didn’t know something he should have known if anybody else knew which shows he didn’t know that his staff didn’t know all the things known by people in the know.

    Don’t we expect more from someone who aspires to be Prime Minister? It’s not rocket science.

  26. Macro 27

    The Herald has it on very “good” authority, that D C wears red underware – made in China!

  27. Kat 28

    About time the journos were directly confronted as to ‘why’ the continuing blatant smear campaign against David Cunliffe. Andrea Vance could be a good place to start.

  28. Pete 29

    There’s only one allegation that really counts: He is not, and never will be, Prime Minister material. That’s all Kiwis really care about, spin whatever you like about the nasty right, it’s actually really simple!

    • mickysavage 29.1

      You know the difference between a left winger and a right winger? On the left we approach issues from a partially emotional, partially intellectual level. We never predict. We certainly do not presume. We hope and if it happens we are pleased.

      On the right they expect and insist and presume. They know best.

      Pete your comment fits perfectly with the right wing view of the world. I hope that on election night you are proved to be wrong.

      • SW 29.1.1

        Micky – and there goes me thinking it was differing opinions on the role of government that was the main difference between left and right wing people.

        So on the left we don’t predict or presume that our policies will lead to certain results? Instead we just hope?

        I don’t think you need to have a right wing world view to appreciate just how much soft Labour voters are being turned off by David.

        Its either the polls are wrong, slanted media coverage is blinding otherwise sensible Labour supporters, or people just don’t like/have any confidence in DC…

        • anker 29.1.1.1

          sw@29.1.1 Go to open mike or write a post as suggested please. This is a humour/satire post.

      • poem 29.1.2

        +1 MS

  29. NZJester 30

    Don’t forget that David has regularly met with 3 shady people such as one who lies, one who has been convicted of filing a false electoral return and one who has ripped of the New Zealand tax payer.

    Want proof of my allegation just look up parliament records and you will see that he has regularly meet with John Key, John Banks and Claudette Hauiti.

    Lets see David deny he has never met multiple times with those 3!

  30. Steve Wrathall 31

    Of being Leader of the Labour Party. No evidence of this whatsoever

  31. fender 32

    Still no apology for using all the supplies when printing off blips list

  32. Charlieboy 33

    It will be revealed that Cunliffe will stand up for the poor, do something about the stuffed education system and tax the rich, and I’ll have to vote for him! Bastard!

  33. idlegus 34

    blame it on the boogie, nah the herald would rather blame it on david cunliffe.

  34. Blue 35

    Trying to come up with bizarre made up allegations is difficult when the list of things he has actually been accused of are just too crazy to beat.

    I think the media has us all beat on this one.

  35. Jim in Tokyo 36

    A caucus insider told me that in an effort to appear down with the youth, he rented a snowboard for half a day. Unfortunately he chose one with hard boots and plate bindings!

  36. seeker 37

    At least David C.hasn’t been accused of failing to look normal while eating a bacon sandwich, yet!
    Whereas poor old Ed Miliband ……..

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/ed-miliband-fails-to-look-normal-while-eating-bacon-sandwich-ahead-of-whistlestop-campaign-tour-9409301.html
    9409301.html

  37. Shape shifter, alien, believes in Atlantis, knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried, likes to drink kvass, once sotto voce shook hands with Benedict XVl, supported Argentina in the World Cup, thinks moon landing is a hoax (whoops already got one of those?), America’s Cup supporter, thinks Gazza is a nickname for Aaron Gilmore, thinks issues should be confined to housing, jobs, education, health, honouring the Treaty…don’t like how tall he is, association with conspiracy theorists, got a funny haircut, speaks funny… In the end believes politics is about accommodation, jobs and families. Something definitely , fundamentally wrong in that, I mean just think about it!

  38. …did I mention his mother dresses him funny, likes his lamb chops well done (or is it rare), looks J’ish, eats his fish’n’ hips with both hands, walks funny, drinks his tea in a glass, can’t understand him when he talks ’cause he’s got a funny accent, looks vaguely like a Polynesian, Indian, another one of those cheeky darkies, wasn’t born here or was but can’t produce a birth certificate, wears funny shoes, needs to see a dentist, parts his hair funny,…this is just too easy. Haven’t even got into the sexual connotations yet, drinking habits, picking up his beagles by the ears… Believes in principles before personalities. Omg, the guy’s human!

  39. Ross 40

    An eyewitness has come forward to say that someone with a remarkable likeness to Cunliffe was seen standing outside 65 Every Street on the morning of 20 June 1994. He appeared to be holding a rifle…

    Joe Karam says the eyewitness testimony is credible and he expects police to carry out a thorough investigation.

  40. Ffloyd 41

    Speaks in complete sentences using words of more than two syllables. Key says “he’s tricky” because he can’t understand what he’s saying.

  41. Shaz 42

    David apologises to the MSM for skewering the government with the “NZ can do better than an economy based on milk and disaster” in the conference speech because a responsive and MSM have had to prevent this smart and accurate assessment from becoming part of the election zeitgeist.

  42. Matthew Hooton 43

    I heard he gets down on his knees everyday and talks to an imaginary man in the sky.

  43. minarch 44

    He popped the Hindenburg

    The REAL voice of Lard Haw Haw/Tokyo Rose

  44. detritus 45

    OK, sorry but he had a meeting with someone that has pleaded guilty to sex offenses AFTER he apologized for being a man to a group of Rape crisis center victims!!! And today has admitted that he KNEW that the person was under investigation for this charge!

    Sorry but how can you even begin to defend that?! And don’t say that the person hasn’t been convicted etc yet.. Labour want to shift the burden of Proof… so this meeting should have been a massive warning bell to Labour!

    Im sure a load of you will make derogatory remarks towards me, but please try to open the other eye.

    • ropata 45.1

      check your facts before launching into a hysterical tirade.

      The prominent person is “facing charges” with name suppression so how was DC supposed to know who he was dealing with?

      you’re jumping to conclusions, just as the National Party(tm) Herald intended.

      http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11296559

      • detritus 45.1.1

        Hi Ropata.

        No I’m afraid you’re wrong sorry…, Cunliffe came out a couple days after and said that actually he did know.. but he decided it was not of concern . so didnt cancel the meeting!
        This isn’t a conspiracy/made up story.. Cunliffe admitted that he DID know.! on live radio!.. after he had originally denied knowing…

        Don’t blame National or the Media.. Cunliffe chose to have that meeting while knowing the guy was being investigated for sexual assault charges … and after he did his Im sorry Speech.. its plain hypocritical… clear as day

        • Colonial Viper 45.1.1.1

          Firstly. Why should politicians start avoiding whole classes of citizens as if they were lepers.

          Secondly. Any link or reference please? Otherwise, kindly fuck off.

          • detritus 45.1.1.1.1

            Oh my goodness, I heard that people on this site were vile but didn’t really believe it.
            May I ask what exactly is the cause for the abusive response towards me? I don’t recall insulting anyone here or being offensive in any way..

            Clearly no-one is allowed to have an opinion of their own here, so I think I’ll go find some intelligent conversation as their clearly isn’t any here.

            Oh and as for “…avoiding whole classes of citizens …” Excuse me??! Are you serious? So you are now calling Sex offenders a “class of citizens”??

            Good riddens to this site, I cant handle to blatant stupidity.

            • ropata 45.1.1.1.1.1

              Obstinate stupidity and lies tend to attract insults. Try using facts and links in future, as it stands your comments really are floating sh*t much like your user name.

              PS: there is no sex offender. There’s someone accused of something ‘indecent’ with name suppression. So you’re off the mark and spreading falsehoods

              • McFlock

                just fyi on the name, “Detritus” is a character in some comedic fantasy books. This character is a stereotypical silicate life form that is known for, among other things, living under bridges.

                Play with the fuck-knuckle all you want, but don’t expect good-faith interaction (just in case folk hadn’t already picked the type).

                • ropata

                  Ahh yes, good old “pratchettt” thanks for the reminder! Detritus was a cool character. Loved the bit when he was cooled down to superconductivity and his IQ went from ~50 to ~250

  45. Daveosaurus 46

    He put the bomp in the bomp bomp bomp.

  46. ropata 47

    Cunliffe takes holidays, sleeps at night, drives a car, is married with offspring, wears clothes not made in New Zealand, and lives in Herne Bay. Probably likes to drink coffee too.

    He has stated he wants to ‘get rid’ of the NZ class system, and his professed support for public transport is clearly a sinister plot to bus the rich off to a remote island and turn the rest of NZ into a worker’s paradise for lesbian basket-weavers and one-armed flower-arrangers

    The worst thing is the labour policy of capital gains tax, designed to destroy property prices and let brown people live on the north shore and invade the homes of respectable mt albert residents.

    • greywarbler 47.1

      @ ropata 12.59
      That was wonderful stream of consciousness stuff and you nailed it completely. I don’t seem to have seen your name recently. Hope we can have more of this cogent critique.

      • ropata 47.1.1

        That’s just the perception I pick up from people at work and elsewhere, and it’s a powerful narrative that Labour need to overcome. I think Labour really is the party of “the people” but they face an uphill battle to show Kiwis their vision of a better NZ without the glitz of our current hollow ‘leadership’

  47. Pete 48

    “he wants to ‘get rid’ of the NZ class system”

    This can never be realised, firstly because there is no formalised nor legislated class system in New Zealand! There many Kiwis who do not seek to elevate themselves to the middle ground, and equally there are many who have no wish to decline to the middle ground. Definitions aside, this is a natural outcome of our species and should be celebrated and governed accordingly. Efforts in other countries to ‘normalise’ people have been a folly in the extreme and completely unsuccessful; it’s human nature for us to compete and be our best, or not as is the case for some. Can you identify one human society where there is complete classless nirvana?

    • ropata 48.1

      FYI, previous post was parody/sarcasm

      The historically normative state of the human race is feudalism, war, and famine. Doesn’t mean that’s the best way for NZ. In fact, there was a brief interlude when New Zealand was the “Pavlova Paradise” and every working man received a living wage. I think that’s far preferable to the wealthy pillaging the rest of NZ and selling public assets to offshore corporations

    • greywarbler 48.2

      @ Pete 1.30
      On class – Paul Fussell is usa citizen and good on class and war.
      For class he has devised a 9 grade system for the usa. We no doubt are right there too. Like you he seems to think it is unavoidable. Which class and Generation do you belong to on your own analysis?

      This explains it. http://www.icosilune.com/2009/01/paul-fussell-class/
      and
      http://wmbriggs.com/blog/?p=537
      Classes:
      . Top out-of-sight
      Upper
      Upper middle
      Middle
      High proletarian
      Mid-proletarian
      Low proletarian
      Destitute
      Bottom-out-of-sight

      Those at the apex never earn their money, nor do inhabitants of the nadir. Both groups are rare and avoid public notice, and are thus difficult to study.
      Class is only weakly correlated with money.
      New money separates upper and upper middle from top out-of-sight.
      The truism “money can’t buy class” explains why high “proles” like actors and pop
      singers are barred from the upper classes despite their wealth.

      Upper middles and above avoid euphemism and curse as freely, but more creatively, than proles. It’s the middle-class that is most anxious to appear sophisticated and so routinely “complexifies” and softens its language. They prefer utilize to use and would rather utilize the bathroom than the toilet. A man is an alcoholic or has problems with alcohol and is not a drunk. The more syllables packed into a phrase, the better.- singers are barred from the upper classes despite their wealth….

      Generation X –
      Creativity, intelligence, independence, pleasantness, and willingness to engage in
      In 1982, these folk were not as political as today, where they now comprise the vocal left. An enjoyable test of X-hood is to say to your subject that you noticed something on FOX news. If your listener, who is ordinarily lucid and tolerant, begins an excited, extended rant about that network being “reactionary”, then she is likely an X. More evidence is if she wears a knit skull cap, dresses down, sports an Obama decoration, drives a hybrid, eschews makeup, or boasts of shopping at Whole Foods to buy “organic” food.

      • ropata 48.2.1

        Wikipedia: Social class in New Zealand looks at facts, figures and economics with links to a lot of research.

        Te Ara gives a more historical view: http://www.teara.govt.nz/en/class

        In the first 70 years of the 20th century there was less disparity between high-status occupations and those with lower status. For example, in 1926 professionals such as doctors and accountants earned only around twice the salary of unskilled workers such as roadmen. The middle-class grew, and middle-class values were praised. New Zealand became known as a country of equality.

        From the 1980s the differences between the top income earners and the lowest became ever greater. In 2001 the top 10% of households held 48% of the wealth. House prices rose everywhere, but particularly in more desirable areas.

        Though New Zealand was less equal, people were more accepting of this …

      • Pete 48.2.2

        “Which class and Generation do you belong to on your own analysis?”

        Thanks for the explanation. I don’t concern myself with fitting into a category. I have a world view that if you work hard, care for your family, be good to others, you’ll be happy. If more people adopted a simple approach to life it would solve many of the problems. The people who inhabit the bottom end of your list need the right kind of support, a balance of enabling currency and motivation to become self-sufficient on the personal ‘sustainability’ front.

        In my view the centre right parties in New Zealand seek that balance; the left simple wish to dispose of the ‘problem’ by throwing currency at people, in the hope they will adjust – in time. That’s a fallacy, and the people of this fine land, fair of mind, are agreeing if you trust the polls.

        • greywarbler 48.2.2.1

          @ Pete 9.58
          You don’t think you are part of the society and the culture? You don’t exist on a mountain in a cave communing with wolves. Therefore you are part of a generalised stratification measure whether you like it or not. Sorry.

          You are as ordinary as the next man, possibly more so! And being objective about everyone else gives a sort of knowledge about the society, but if you can’t see where you are too then your piece of the jigsaw is missing.

  48. greywarbler 49

    A bit more on Generation X.
    Creativity, intelligence, independence, pleasantness, and willingness to engage in “experiments in living” were and still are reliable markers of this group.

    Fussell argued that Xers rightly did not give a damn about class distinction, and this is still true but in a different sense. Just as Uppers believe they culturally superior to the upper middles, who are sure of their ascendancy over the middle-class etc.,
    Xers are convinced they are more enlightened than everybody else.

    (And they might be!)

    • ropata 49.1

      Yep, I know I am 😉

      • greywarbler 49.1.1

        @ropata 10.12
        How do you know? Donald Rumsfeld’s sage quote may be applicable here.

        Reports that say that something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don’t know we don’t know.
        Another Don’s wisedoom : The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, or vice versa.

        and from Dick Cheney:
        Education –
        From kindergarten to graduation, I went to public schools, and I know that they are a key to being sure that every child has a chance to succeed and to rise in the world.
        Economy – Reagan proved deficits don’t matter.
        Brainyquotes

        and pragmatism from the 46th Vice President of the usa
        1970s Principle is OK up to a certain point, but principle doesn’t do any good if you lose.
        2001 We also have to work, though, sort of the dark side, if you will.
        wikiquote

        • ropata 49.1.1.1

          Rumsfeld, Cheney and Reagan: a triumvirate of right wing ignorance and complicity with evil.

          Fred Dagg, Monty Python, and Socrates agree:

          The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.

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