Who do you want answering the phone?

Written By: - Date published: 3:41 pm, April 30th, 2008 - 71 comments
Categories: election 2008, humour, youtube - Tags: , , , ,

Just received this parody of Hillary Clinton’s 3am ad, but with a New Zealand twist. Very funny.

71 comments on “Who do you want answering the phone? ”

  1. Sam Dixon 1

    hehe.

    but seriously, the guy would be a disaster in a crisis.

  2. outofbed 2

    er em er its 3am in Hawaii, what time is it in New Zealand ?

  3. Steve Pierson 3

    awesome oob.

  4. Benodic 4

    He was talking about Australian 3am

  5. Mr English 5

    John Key is turning into a ditherer.

  6. Good to see the personal Key attacks are paying such dividends for you guys in the polls.

    Maybe try something new. Seriously, a new prime minister/finance minister may make you look less snide, arrogant, complacent and out of touch.

  7. Ha! it’s not “snide” you idiot, it’s “tired” – you can’t even do National party lines properly! Fool.

  8. Tane 8

    He forgot ‘bereft of ideas’ too.

    Seriously Prat, you need to work on your party lines. Cos seeing as you can’t recognise a joke when you see it, it’s pretty much all you’ve got.

  9. Snide, tired, hypocritical, lame duck, it’s all interchangeable, luckily though our internal polls (at HQ), are telling us these adjectives are hitting the right spot with the swinging voter. You guys really need to re visit your tactics. Could be H2 has got this one wrong!

    Also I got the joke, it just isn’t funny.

  10. I like answering the phone.

  11. BTP – I think you’ll find “snide” tends to put people off as it is a little elitist. I like the way you use the phrase “our internal polls” though. It’s almost like your do more than make the coffee and laugh at the jokes at the wrong time…

  12. r0b 12

    You guys really need to re visit your tactics. Could be H2 has got this one wrong!

    Our (Labour’s) tactics are competent government and policies that work for the good of New Zealanders. There’s no plan to revisit them. If they are the “wrong” tactics, well, so be it.

  13. mike 13

    “Our (Labour’s) tactics are competent government and policies that work for the good of New Zealanders”

    🙂 lol I got that one…

  14. Actually sod, was just being a bit playful as you had referred to “party lines”.

    Never voted National in my life. Don’t intend to.

    Use to vote Labour, 90, 93, even 96. Liberterianz and/or ACT since then. So really no friend of Labour Lite Key.

    I’m just making the point you fellas can parody Key all you like and it won’t make a bean of difference.

    rOb……”policies that work for the good of New Zealandeders”

    Clearly you don’t have a mortgage, have to buy food, use the health system or engage in public education? So what does that make you?

    Ahhh, either a cashed up single civil servant or a cabinet minister.

  15. reltih_a 15

    Ring Ring
    Hello, who is it?
    Heres the phone Helen.
    Thank you Judith.

  16. To quote y’self BTP – “I got the joke, it just isn’t funny.”

    Oh and in case anyone didn’t realise it “reltih_a” is Dad (I’ve got a sixth sense for him) – Hi Dad.

  17. reltih_a 17

    Hi son.

  18. You do know you’re banned for life don’t you, dad? I stuck up for you at teh time.

  19. r0b 19

    Mike: lol I got that one

    You’re a funny guy mike. I now see that you must have been joking in the Judith Collins thread when you said “the underclass that dear leader said didn’t exist” – and then couldn’t back it up. Hah hah mike, hah hah.

    BTP: Clearly you don’t have a mortgage, have to buy food, use the health system or engage in public education? So what does that make you? Ahhh, either a cashed up single civil servant or a cabinet minister.

    I’m just someone who remembers the 90s, and can read the statistics.

  20. simon coffey 20

    that’s funny, really funny, i’m sure even john would laugh at it, well i hope he would…

  21. rOb……..”I’m just someone who remembers the 90s, and can read the statistics.”

    Are those stats the ones that refer to the government (in the 90’s) reversing the deception of the previous labour government with regards to overall government debt. You know the one were Richardson enforced a policies to save us from economic annhilation, cuts which have NEVER, been reversed. And the basic tenet of a balanced budget has been EMBRACED by the B grade history teacher, Reserve Bank act etc etc.

    Also despite a global recession, the then government reduced interest rates and unemployment over that perioid.

    And now you (Labour) even give a big big hug to asset sales r.e Vector, have fucked the health system and fucked the education system and are now emabarking on your own little winter of discontent with respect to insustraial relations. ……….Hypocrites!

    Isn’t it funny how when things are rosy in the economy you credit Labour, but when reality bites, the NZ First/Shipley government is responsible.

    Thats the problem rOb, people are sick of the “oh they were worse line”….keep it up.

    In fact I really hope you are part of a Labour party re election committee. Actually I hope you have the insight and tact of Mike “confused” Williams. If so, you numpties are looking at sub 30% on the list and even you (as an insider), know how dire it is going to turn out in the electorates.

    Facing oblivion and all you got is a phone joke……..pathetic

  22. randal 22

    wow I really feel like I have been elevated to a higher plane after reading all that crap

  23. Censorship at the Standard in force again I see. They dont like it up em, the fuzzie wuzzies!

  24. “You do know you’re banned for life don’t you, dad? I stuck up for you at teh time.”

    Oh well robinsod that makes here, kiwiblog, public address and poneke.
    Oh well who cares, as getting sick of blogging.

  25. Billy 25

    “Oh well who cares, as getting sick of blogging.”

    Frankly, Dad, that might be for the best.

  26. Frankly, Billy, that might not be for the best.

  27. I’ve gotta say Dad I agree with you. I still think the best blog comment I’ve ever seen was one of yours. I don’t think many people see your project for what it is but I want you to know that it is certainly appreciated by me.

  28. Judging from last week, if it’s 3am John Key will be at the Matterhorn. Where’s Helen?

  29. Cheers robinsod.Thank you mate.

  30. deemac 30

    can’t wait for D4J’s take on the Austrian basement…

  31. r0b 31

    BoomTownPrat, that little monologue was a pretty disturbing stream of semi-consciousness. I think you need to get out more, get some fresh air every now and then.

    If you’d made any substantive points about social and economic indicators of the 90’s vs today then I could have replied to them, but you didn’t, so I can’t.

    All I can do is wish you most sincerely the very best of luck in your future endeavours. Have a lovely life.

  32. deemac, I cannot reply to petal’s malicious comment on kiwiblog, as I cannot log in ? I am a spammer with far to many comments.

    Feel free to back stab as many enjoy reading it on kiwiblog.

  33. Matthew Pilott 34

    BTP – did Act get Ansell to whip that up? It’s on a par with the Free Speech Coalition billboards, quality/intelligence wise…

  34. Tane 35

    Censorship at the Standard in force again I see. They dont like it up em, the fuzzie wuzzies!

    What on earth are you on about now?

  35. rOb

    “If you’d made any substantive points about social and economic indicators of the 90’s vs today then I could have replied to them, but you didn’t, so I can’t.”

    look mate which part of “balanced budget”, don’t you get?

    Thats what Richardson did. That led to lower inflation, economic growth and the platform which said B grade history teacher has squandred.

    I’ll give you stats…..10% interest rates, 26% food inflation, unaffordable housing, record sickness benefits, economic ruin as a result of Kyoto.

    What happened to top half of OECD, closing the gaps, carbon neutrality.
    As I said before, this is becoming a like the “dead parrot sketch”

  36. I see Cameron still can’t even manage basic HTML. When Drupal makes it so easy he’s really got no excuse…

    Oh and Deemac? Give the dad-bashing a break.

  37. r0b 38

    They dont like it up em, the fuzzie wuzzies!

    What on earth are you on about now?

    Tane, BPT is channelling Corporal Jones: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dad's_Army

  38. Tane 39

    Prat – Just saw the video you posted from that friend of yours who photoshops children’s heads onto gay porn. Pretty weak, I gotta say.

    I mean, it was an obvious response to the video posted here, but wasn’t in the slightest bit funny, and it had to lie about what Clark was laughing about to make its point.

    Here’s a hint mate – she wasn’t laughing at struggling Kiwis, she was laughing at John Key’s ineptitude as a leader. I mean, you gotta admit, that “why are they being so mean to me?” whingeing was hardly the sign of a strong leader.

  39. r0b 40

    <em. Give the dad-bashing a break.

    I always suspected you were a softie at heart ‘Sod. Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with us…

  40. Tane 41

    Oh and Dad, by the way, you’re still banned. Please respect this.

    Captcha: powerboat Unionists – I wish.

  41. AncientGeek 42

    That video is cruel, probably unjust, and wonderfully funny.

    Makes me wish that we had some of those wonderful political comics from days gone by. Imagine John Clarke and co in this election. There are so many more targets under MMP.

  42. r0b 43

    look mate which part of “balanced budget’, don’t you get?

    The relevance part.

    Thats what Richardson did.

    Richardson attacked the poorest people in NZ, those least able to defend themselves. She had other options to deal with the financial situation. Options like raising taxes. But she’s a Tory, she did what Tories have done, and what they’ll likely do again if we give them a chance.

    I’ll give you stats ..10% interest rates, 26% food inflation, unaffordable housing, record sickness benefits, economic ruin as a result of Kyoto.

    Interest rates have positive and negative effects. Food inflation is a serious issue, but largely derived from international events that are well beyond Government control (the Government needs to take what action it can though). Sickness benefits are slightly up with the ageing population, overall working age benefits are well down and still falling. Kyoto remains to be seen.

    And let’s keep in mind: unemployment down do 30 year lows, crime down, numbers on benefits down, economy growing, Working for Families, KiwiSaver, superannuation increases, minimum wage raised every year, four weeks leave, 20 hours free early childhood education, fair rents, interest free loans for students, cheaper doctors vists, and employment law which stopped the widening wage gap with Australia. Oh – and an independent and sane foreign policy while we’re at it. Etc etc etc. Thanks Labour!

  43. Sorry Tane, hate to employ a cliche…..but

    DIDDUMS!

  44. Tane 45

    You know, when you get past the spit and the bile there really isn’t much behind the likes of Whaleoil and BoomTownPrat. Just anger and an overinflated sense of Tory privelige.

  45. Tane……

    “Tory Privelige”

    ha fuckin ha

    Is that the same “Tory Charity” that MC has adopted….or the same tax cuts that MC…..has adopted…………or the same balanced budget that MC has adopted?

    Flip/Flop Slippery Cullen…..and the budget will confirm it?

    And just to rub it in Tane, have you looked at the detail and comments by cullen and clark re 1999 election that are about to be be “reversed” on billboards far and wide. Take a guess at the content.

  46. Tane 47

    Prat, if your comments were even vaguely coherent I’d respond, but I suspect you’re drunk. Are you capable of saying anything substantive?.

    Anyway, I’m off to bed. Have a good one.

  47. reltih_a 48

    Hi all

    Tane, look at my mame backwards:
    a_hitler.
    See, I always had a son, just like the papers say. Tane, you are my son from a French whore!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Yours
    Adolf

    [Tane: And that’s you banned for life]

  48. Tane, not drunk, just pissed(off), that you lot still unashamedly and without critic justify this disaster of an administration.

    Funny in it?

  49. Draco TB 50

    And the basic tenet of a balanced budget has been EMBRACED by the B grade history teacher, Reserve Bank act etc etc.

    You, of course, refer to the legislation that requires a balanced budget. The one that National wants to get rid of.

  50. Craig Ranapia 51

    Seriously Prat, you need to work on your party lines. Cos seeing as you can’t recognise a joke when you see it, it’s pretty much all you’ve got.

    Seriously, Tane, if you can’t come up with a better funny than a lame rip off of a profoundly dishonest anti-Obama ad that Karl Rove probably cooked up in his sleep, I’m laughing. Just at you, not with you.

    It doesn’t seem to be working in the US, and I don’t see why it would work here.

  51. Felix 52

    Is the umming and ahhing from Mr Key taken from the interview where he couldn’t remember how he felt about the springbok tour? Or is it one of his many other “mental focus group” moments?

  52. Tane 53

    Craig, it’s a lighthearted joke sent in by a reader, not a bloody campaign ad! I know it must be hard trying to keep up that pompous facade, but do try to see the funny side.

  53. Craig Ranapia 54

    Tane:

    Well, fair enough up to a point. This is your house, and you can post what you like. But I don’t really buy the ‘it’s just a joke’ defence when we’re talking abour right wingnuts who think ‘Hullen Klark’ and ‘Liarbore’ is a direct hit on the punny bone. Guess humour, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder but in this case, I seriously think you need contacts.

    I certainly don’t think we need to be importing the dishonest politics of fear on display in that ad, thanks. If that makes me a humourless prat, I’m quite happy to plead guilty as charged.

  54. Craig – the politics of fear are being sent up here. I suggest if you are so keen on stopping the dishonest politics of fear you take the National Party to task for its lies about crime rates. Now that is fear-mongering for political gain.

    http://kiwiblogblog.wordpress.com/2008/04/28/more-creative-spin-read-fibs-from-key/

  55. higherstandard 56

    Lies about crime rates ??

    How about the Minister fronting that the P epidemic is out of control.

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/1/story.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10507267

    Has she signed up with as you put it “National’s dishonest politics of fear ?”

  56. Uhmm hate to rain on your deluded parade Tāne, but under the law which you so enthusiastially supported the video is indeed a campaign ad, along with several more that you have posted since Jan 1, all without authorisation, all under the user name of thestandardnz on Youtube.

    You see the law is so broad and your understanding of it so woeful that like your sponsors you continue to break the law that you supported.

    Inconvenient the truth may be, it is the truth nonetheless and there are two words that describe such continual law breakers, they are “criminals” and “hypocrites”

  57. djp 58

    actually that video is quite funny 🙂

  58. lprent 59

    Whale: Personally I don’t read the act that way. I think you’re spreading it on with too wide a brush.

    So follow the process. Send a complaint in and get the electoral commission to make a ruling. It has worked for you so far.

    captcha: end flaming – I don’t believe it classic captcha

  59. Steve Pierson 60

    Whale.

    We haven’t produced this ad, nor published it via Youtube. tane has simply posted it, linking to the youtube vid.

    How about this, rather than trying to find every petty breach of the EFA and spending the rest of your time making gay porn involving teenage boys, why don’t you try to become a constructive part of political debate? Our offsiders at the Hive would be a good example to emulate. I just fear you don’t have the depth or poltiical nous to do so.

  60. ghostwhowalks 61

    Where was whaleoils authorisation for his video promo for Absolute Power

  61. I also promoted the video promo for Absolute Power.

  62. What would Cameron know about the law? He can’t even run a business without it going insolvent and having auditors on his back. Eh Cameron?

    And bro, you never answered my question – did you settle with your creditors?

  63. Craig Ranapia 64

    Robinsod:

    I’d be quite happy to take up a collection to provide every MP, public service spinster and hack with a copy of Daryl Huff’s excellent and highly accessible short book ‘How to Lie with Statistics’ — fifty four years after it was first published, it’s still as pertinent as ever. Bugger. Any suggestions how to force the sods to read it? Hell, I’d be satisfied if a few more people got the distinction between correlation and causation.

  64. Craig – you could start by heading over to Kiwiblog and pointing out the statistical inconsistencies DPF employs in National’s political interests. As a longstanding rightwing voice in the blogosphere you may have the authority to get David to listen to sense.

    I look forward to watching your campaign.

  65. Whaleoil 66

    Steve and Lynn, It doesn’t really matter how you like to describe it. thestandardnz is your userid to Youtube, hosting location is immaterial to the law, redistributing it is, causing it to be viewed is and whether or not you authored it or not it is your site, your userid being used, therefore it is you broadcasting the election advertisement.

    Again it may be inconvenient but the facts are the facts, that you continue to flaunt the law you passed show how out of touch you and your sponsor party are.

    Robinsod, keep up the slander, unless you are in full command of the facts I suggest you shut your mouth, how about the Standard authors place some moderation on slanderous and arguably defaming comments.

  66. Felix 67

    Moderation on slanderous and arguably defaming comments?

    You realise you’d probably never get another comment published, don’t you whaleoil?

  67. Matthew Pilott 68

    Heh, Whale is blubbering about “your sponsor party” AND mentions slander (proving he’s none too sharp) in the same breath.

    Whale, if you want to have a wee cry (because let’s be honest, mentioning slander and defamation is nothing but a wimp’s way of talking tough) try to get your terms correct. Slander is spoken, libel is printed.

  68. Robinsod, keep up the slander, unless you are in full command of the facts I suggest you shut your mouth, how about the Standard authors place some moderation on slanderous and arguably defaming comments.

    I have a copy of the auditor’s report Cameron. It is a public record and I am asking you questions based on reasonable assumptions drawn from it and from further investigations. If you have any concerns about the nature of the conclusions I have drawn you can address them by answering my questions. This is, after all, a free forum for response. I note you repeatedly choose not to. Shame that.

    Oh and Cameron? “Slander” is spoken defamation and “libel” is written defamation. You cannot claim I am slandering you because my comments are written and if you claim I am libeling you you are claiming I am defaming you not “arguably defaming” you. Either way you don’t have a legal leg to stand on fool. Perhaps you should just HTFU instead you poor wee man…

  69. Sa Paullo 70

    Dear Craig,

    are you sure you’re a National party supporter? you seem to be articulate, coherent and have principles, as well as engage constructively in debates.

    be careful- you sound suspiciously like the Katherine Rich, Bill English part of the party that has problems telling porkies and bashing on single mothers, Maori etc just in order to get power, or to put policies in their mouths they simply don’t genuinely believe.

    have to say I think the video would have been a lot funnier if a cockroach answered the phone…or maybe even a giant weta…they’re about the same right?

    but hey this is politics…and we don’t have the daily show or the cnnn in New Zealand…but we could f*&^%^ do with it…though some of our blubbery friends may not get the jokes…

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    Do you remember Y2K, the threat that hung over humanity in the closing days of the twentieth century? Horror scenarios of planes falling from the sky, electronic payments failing and ATMs refusing to dispense cash. As for your VCR following instructions and recording your favourite show - forget about it.All ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    4 days ago
  • Bernard’s Saturday Soliloquy for the week to July 20

    Climate Change Minister Simon Watts being questioned by The Kākā’s Bernard Hickey.TL;DR: My top six things to note around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the week to July 20 were:1. A strategy that fails Zero Carbon Act & Paris targetsThe National-ACT-NZ First Coalition Government finally unveiled ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    4 days ago
  • Pharmac Director, Climate Change Commissioner, Health NZ Directors – The latest to quit this m...

    Summary:As New Zealand loses at least 12 leaders in the public service space of health, climate, and pharmaceuticals, this month alone, directly in response to the Government’s policies and budget choices, what lies ahead may be darker than it appears. Tui examines some of those departures and draws a long ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    4 days ago
  • Flooding Housing Policy

    The Minister of Housing’s ambition is to reduce markedly the ratio of house prices to household incomes. If his strategy works it would transform the housing market, dramatically changing the prospects of housing as an investment.Leaving aside the Minister’s metaphor of ‘flooding the market’ I do not see how the ...
    PunditBy Brian Easton
    4 days ago
  • A Voyage Among the Vandals: Accepted (Again!)

    As previously noted, my historical fantasy piece, set in the fifth-century Mediterranean, was accepted for a Pirate Horror anthology, only for the anthology to later fall through. But in a good bit of news, it turned out that the story could indeed be re-marketed as sword and sorcery. As of ...
    4 days ago
  • The Kākā's Chorus for Friday, July 19

    An employee of tobacco company Philip Morris International demonstrates a heated tobacco device. Photo: Getty ImagesTL;DR: The top six things I’ve noted around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy on Friday, July 19 are:At a time when the Coalition Government is cutting spending on health, infrastructure, education, housing ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    5 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Pick 'n' Mix for Friday, July 19

    TL;DR: My pick of the top six links elsewhere around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day or so to 8:30 am on Friday, July 19 are:Scoop: NZ First Minister Casey Costello orders 50% cut to excise tax on heated tobacco products. The minister has ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    5 days ago
  • Weekly Roundup 19-July-2024

    Kia ora, it’s time for another Friday roundup, in which we pull together some of the links and stories that caught our eye this week. Feel free to add more in the comments! Our header image this week shows a foggy day in Auckland town, captured by Patrick Reynolds. ...
    Greater AucklandBy Greater Auckland
    5 days ago
  • Weekly Climate Wrap: A market-led plan for failure

    TL;DR : Here’s the top six items climate news for Aotearoa this week, as selected by Bernard Hickey and The Kākā’s climate correspondent Cathrine Dyer. A discussion recorded yesterday is in the video above and the audio of that sent onto the podcast feed.The Government released its draft Emissions Reduction ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    5 days ago
  • Tobacco First

    Save some money, get rich and old, bring it back to Tobacco Road.Bring that dynamite and a crane, blow it up, start all over again.Roll up. Roll up. Or tailor made, if you prefer...Whether you’re selling ciggies, digging for gold, catching dolphins in your nets, or encouraging folks to flutter ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    5 days ago
  • Trump’s Adopted Son.

    Waiting In The Wings: For truly, if Trump is America’s un-assassinated Caesar, then J.D. Vance is America’s Octavian, the Republic’s youthful undertaker – and its first Emperor.DONALD TRUMP’S SELECTION of James D. Vance as his running-mate bodes ill for the American republic. A fervent supporter of Viktor Orban, the “illiberal” prime ...
    5 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Friday, July 19

    TL;DR: As of 6:00 am on Friday, July 19, the top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day are:The PSA announced the Employment Relations Authority (ERA) had ruled in the PSA’s favour in its case against the Ministry ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    5 days ago
  • The Hoon around the week to July 19

    TL;DR: The podcast above of the weekly ‘hoon’ webinar for paying subscribers last night features co-hosts and talking with:The Kākā’s climate correspondent talking about the National-ACT-NZ First Government’s release of its first Emissions Reduction Plan;University of Otago Foreign Relations Professor and special guest Dr Karin von ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    5 days ago
  • Skeptical Science New Research for Week #29 2024

    Open access notables Improving global temperature datasets to better account for non-uniform warming, Calvert, Quarterly Journal of the Royal Meteorological Society: To better account for spatial non-uniform trends in warming, a new GITD [global instrumental temperature dataset] was created that used maximum likelihood estimation (MLE) to combine the land surface ...
    5 days ago
  • We're back again! Join us for the weekly Hoon on YouTube Live

    Photo by Gabriel Crismariu on UnsplashWe’re back again after our mid-winter break. We’re still with the ‘new’ day of the week (Thursday rather than Friday) when we have our ‘hoon’ webinar with paying subscribers to The Kākā for an hour at 5 pm.Jump on this link on YouTube Livestream for ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    5 days ago
  • Gut Reactions.

    Trump Writes His Own Story: Would the “mainstream” media even try to reflect the horrified reaction of the MAGA crowd to the pop-pop-pop of the would-be assassin’s rifle, and Trump going down? Could it even grasp the sheer elation of the rally-goers seeing their champion rise up and punch the air, still alive, ...
    5 days ago
  • Dodging Bullets.

    Fight! Fight! Fight! Had the assassin’s bullet found its mark and killed Donald Trump, America’s descent into widespread and murderous violence – possibly spiralling-down into civil war – would have been immediate and quite possibly irreparable. The American Republic, upon whose survival liberty and democracy continue to depend, is certainly not ...
    5 days ago
  • 'Corruption First' Strikes Again

    There comes a point in all our lives when we must stop to say, “Enough is enough. We know what’s happening. We are not as stupid or as ignorant as you believe us to be. And making policies that kill or harm our people is not acceptable, Ministers.”Plausible deniability has ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    5 days ago
  • The Kākā's Chorus for Thursday, July 18

    TL;DR: The top six things I’ve noted around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy today are:The inside stories of KiwiRail’s iRex debacle, Westport’s perma-delayed flood scheme and Christchurch’s post-quake sewer rebuild, which assumed no population growth, show just how deeply sceptical senior officials in Treasury, the Ministry of ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    6 days ago
  • What's that Jack Black?

    Ah-rah, deeSoo-guh-goo-gee-goo-geeGoo-guh fli-goo gee-gooGuh fli-goo, ga-goo-buh-deeOoh, guh-goo-beeOoh-guh-guh-bee-guh-guh-beeFli-goo gee-gooA-fliguh woo-wa mama Lucifer!I’m about ready to move on, how about you?Not from the shooting, that’s bad and we definitely shouldn’t have that. But the rehabilitation of Donald J Trump? The deification of Saint Donald? As the Great Unifier?Gimme a bucket.https://yellowscene.com/2024/04/07/trump-as-jesus/Just to re-iterate, ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    6 days ago
  • June 2024: Earth’s 13th-consecutive warmest month on record

    This is a re-post from Yale Climate Connections by Jeff Masters and Bob Henson June 2024 was Earth’s warmest June since global record-keeping began in 1850 and was the planet’s 13th consecutive warmest month on record, NOAA’s National Centers for Environmental Information, or NCEI, reported July 12. As opposed to being focused in ...
    6 days ago
  • Connecting the dots and filling the gaps in our bike network

    This is a guest post by Shaun Baker on the importance of filling the gaps in our cycling networks. It originally appeared on his blog Multimodal Adventures, and is re-posted here with kind permission. In our towns and cities in Aotearoa New Zealand, there are areas in our cycling networks ...
    Greater AucklandBy Guest Post
    6 days ago
  • Webworm Down Under Photos!

    Hi,I wanted to share a few thoughts and photos from the Webworm popup and Tickled screening we held in Auckland, New Zealand last weekend.In short — it was a blast. I mean, I had a blast and I hope any of you that came also had a blast.An old friend ...
    David FarrierBy David Farrier
    6 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Pick 'n' Mix for Thursday, July 18

    TL;DR: My pick of the top six links elsewhere around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day or so to 6:30 am on Thursday, July 18 are:News: Christchurch's sewer systems block further housing developments RNZ’s Niva ChittockAnalysis: Interislander: Treasury, MoT officials' mistrust of KiwiRail led ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    6 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Thursday, July 18

    TL;DR: As of 6:00 am on Thursday, July 18, the top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day are:Verbatim: Climate Change Minister Simon Watts held a news conference in Auckland to release the Government’s Emissions Reduction Plan, including ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    6 days ago
  • The politics of managed retreat

    Climate change deniers are now challenging the Government over a key climate change adaptation policy. That begs the question of whether New Zealand First will then support Government moves to implement processes to deal with a managed retreat for properties in danger of flooding because of sea level rise and ...
    PolitikBy Richard Harman
    6 days ago
  • Some changes are coming

    Warm welcome again to those who are here. The Mountain Tui substack was officially started on the 2nd of July. I wrote about what led me here on this post. Since then, it’s been a learning to navigate the platform, get to meet those in the community, and basically be ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    6 days ago
  • About fucking time

    The US Supreme Court has been rogue for years, with openly corrupt judges making the law up as they go to suit themselves, their billionaire buyers, and the Republican Party. But now, in the wake of them granting a licence for tyranny, President Biden is actually going to try and ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    6 days ago
  • Climate Change: False accounting and wishful thinking

    National released their draft 2026-2030 Emissions Reduction Plan today. The plan is required under the Zero Carbon Act, and must set out policies and strategies to meet the relevant emissions budget. Having cancelled all Labour's actually effective climate change policies and crashed the carbon price, National was always going to ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    6 days ago
  • The Enemies Of Sunshine And Space.

    Our Houses? The Urban Density debate is a horrible combination of intergenerational avarice and envy, fuelled by the grim certainty that none of the generations coming up after them will ever have it as good as the Boomers. To say that this situation rankles among those born after 1965 is to ...
    6 days ago
  • Still the 5 Eyes Achilles Heel?

    The National Cyber Security Centre (NZSC), a unit in the Government Communications Security Bureau (GCSB) dedicated to cyber-security, has released a Review of its response to the 2021 email hacking of NZ members of the Inter-Parliamentary Alliance on China (IPAC, … Continue reading ...
    KiwipoliticoBy Pablo
    6 days ago
  • Britain's Devastating Electoral Slip.

    Slip-Sliding Away: Labour may now enjoy a dominant position in Britain’s political landscape, but only by virtue of not being swallowed by it.THE BRITISH LABOUR PARTY’S “landslide victory” is nothing of the sort. As most people understand the term, a landslide election victory is one in which the incumbent government, or ...
    6 days ago
  • Gordon Campbell on why right wingers think all governments (including their own) are incompetent

    Since open denial of climate change is no longer a viable political option, denial now comes in disguise. The release this week of the coalition government’s ‘draft emissions reductions plan” shows that the Luxon government is refusing to see the need to cut emissions at source. Instead, it proposes to ...
    WerewolfBy lyndon
    6 days ago
  • The Kākā's Chorus for Wednesday, July 17

    TL;DR: The top six things I’ve noted around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy this morning are:Chris Penk is set to roll back building standards for insulation that had only just been put in place, and which had been estimated to save 40% from power costs, after builders ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    7 days ago
  • Open Letter to Pharmac

    All this talk of getting oldIt's getting me down, my loveLike a cat in a bag, waiting to drownThis time I'm coming downAnd I hope you're thinking of meAs you lay down on your sideNow the drugs don't workThey just make you worse but I know I'll see your face ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    7 days ago
  • A blanket of misinformation

    Two old sayings have been on my mind lately. The first is: “The pen is mightier than the sword”, describing the power of language and communication to help or to harm. The other, which captures the speed with which falsehoods can become ingrained and hard to undo, is: “A lie can ...
    Greater AucklandBy Connor Sharp
    7 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Pick 'n' Mix for Wednesday, July 17

    TL;DR: My pick of the top six links elsewhere around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day to 7:00 am on Wednesday, July 17 are:Scoop: Government considers rolling back home insulation standards RNZ’s Eloise GibsonNews: Government plans tree-planting frenzy as report shows NZ no longer ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    7 days ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Wednesday, July 17

    TL;DR: As of 6:00 am on Wednesday, July 17 , the top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day were:Simon Watts released the Government’s draft Emissions Reduction Plan (ERP), which included proposed changes to the Emissions Trading Scheme ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    7 days ago
  • “Shhhh” – National's 3 Waters is loaded with higher costs and lays a path to ...

    This is a long, possibly technical, but very, very important read. I encourage you to take the time and spread your awareness.IntroductionIn 2022, then Labour Party Prime Minister Jacinda Adern expended significant political capital to protect New Zealand’s water assets from privatisation. She lost that battle, and Labour and the ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    1 week ago
  • Plugging a video channel: Dr Gilbz

    Dr. Ella Gilbert is a climate scientist and presenter with a PhD in Antarctic climate change, working at the British Antarctic Survey (BAS). Her background is in atmospheric sciences and she's especially interested in the physical mechanisms of climate change, clouds, and almost anything polar. She is passionate about communicating climate ...
    1 week ago
  • Some “scrutiny” again

    Back in 2022, in its Open Government Partnership National Action Plan, the government promised to strengthen scrutiny of Official Information Act exemption clauses in legislation. Since then they've run a secret "consultation" on how to do that, with their preferred outcome being that agencies will consult the Ministry of Justice ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Crashing New Zealand's health system is not the way to prosperity, Prime Minister

    Another day, and yet another piece of bad news for New Zealand’s health system. Reports have come out that General Practitioners (GP) may have to close doors, or increase patient fees to survive. The so-called ‘capitation’ funding review, which supports GP practices to survive, is under way, and primary care ...
    Mountain TuiBy Mountain Tui
    1 week ago
  • Closer Than You Think: Ageing Boomers, Laurie & Les, Talk Politics.

    Redefining Our Terms: “When an angry majority is demanding change, defending the status-quo is an extremist position.”“WHAT’S THIS?”, asked Laurie, eyeing suspiciously the two glasses of red wine deposited in front of him.“A nice drop of red. I thought you’d be keen to celebrate the French Far-Right’s victory with the ...
    1 week ago
  • Come on Darleen.

    Good morning all, time for a return to things domestic. After elections in the UK and France, Luxon gatecrashing Nato, and the attempted shooting of Trump, it’s probably about time we re-focus on local politics.Unless of course you’re Christopher Luxon and you’re so exhausted from all your schmoozing in Washington ...
    Nick’s KōreroBy Nick Rockel
    1 week ago
  • How the Northwest was lost and may be won

    This is a guest post by Darren Davis. It originally appeared on his excellent blog, Adventures in Transitland, which we encourage you to check out. It is shared by kind permission. The Northwest has always been Auckland’s public transport Cinderella, rarely invited to the public funding ball. How did ...
    Greater AucklandBy Guest Post
    1 week ago
  • The Kākā's Chorus for Tuesday July 16

    Luxon has told a Financial Times’ correspondent he would openly call out China’s spying in future and does not fear economic retaliation from Aotearoa’s largest trading partner.File Photo: Lynn Grieveson / The KākāTL;DR: The top six things I’ve noted around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy on Tuesday, ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • The Kākā’s Pick 'n' Mix for Tuesday, July 16

    TL;DR: My pick of the top six links elsewhere around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day or so to 6:00 am on Tuesday, July 16 are:PM Christopher Luxon has given a very hawkish interview to the Financial Times-$$$ correspondent in Washington, Demetri Sevastopulu, saying ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • The Kākā’s Journal of Record for Tuesday, July 16

    Photo by Ryunosuke Kikuno on UnsplashTL;DR: The top six announcements, speeches, reports and research around housing, climate and poverty in Aotearoa’s political economy in the last day to 6:00 am are:BNZ released its Performance of Services Index for June, finding that services sector is at its lowest level of activity ...
    The KakaBy Bernard Hickey
    1 week ago
  • The second crisis; assumption was the mother

    Late on the night of July 16, 1984, while four National Cabinet Ministers were meeting in the Beehive office of Deputy Prime Minister Jim McLay, plotting the ultimate downfall of outgoing Prime Minister Sir Robert Muldoon, another crisis was building up in another part of the capital. The United States ...
    PolitikBy Richard Harman
    1 week ago
  • Can we air condition our way out of extreme heat?

    This is a re-post from The Climate Brink by Andrew Dessler Air conditioning was initially a symbol of comfort and wealth, enjoyed by the wealthy in theaters and upscale homes. Over time, as technology advanced and costs decreased, air conditioning became more accessible to the general public. With global warming, though, ...
    1 week ago
  • Review: The Zimiamvian Trilogy, by E.R. Eddison (1935-1958)

    I have reviewed some fairly obscure stuff on this blog. Nineteenth century New Zealand speculative fiction. Forgotten Tolkien adaptations. George MacDonald and William Morris. Last month I took a look at The Worm Ouroboros (1922), by E.R. Eddison, which while not strictly obscure, is also not overly inviting to many ...
    1 week ago

  • Charity lotteries to be permitted to operate online

    Minister of Internal Affairs Brooke van Velden says lotteries for charitable purposes, such as those run by the Heart Foundation, Coastguard NZ, and local hospices, will soon be allowed to operate online permanently. “Under current laws, these fundraising lotteries are only allowed to operate online until October 2024, after which ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    11 hours ago
  • Accelerating Northland Expressway

    The Coalition Government is accelerating work on the new four-lane expressway between Auckland and Whangārei as part of its Roads of National Significance programme, with an accelerated delivery model to deliver this project faster and more efficiently, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says. “For too long, the lack of resilient transport connections ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    11 hours ago
  • Sir Don to travel to Viet Nam as special envoy

    Sir Don McKinnon will travel to Viet Nam this week as a Special Envoy of the Government, Foreign Minister Winston Peters has announced.    “It is important that the Government give due recognition to the significant contributions that General Secretary Nguyen Phu Trong made to New Zealand-Viet Nam relations,” Mr ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    13 hours ago
  • Grant Illingworth KC appointed as transitional Commissioner to Royal Commission

    Minister of Internal Affairs Brooke van Velden says newly appointed Commissioner, Grant Illingworth KC, will help deliver the report for the first phase of the Royal Commission of Inquiry into COVID-19 Lessons, due on 28 November 2024.  “I am pleased to announce that Mr Illingworth will commence his appointment as ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    14 hours ago
  • NZ to advance relationships with ASEAN partners

    Foreign Minister Winston Peters travels to Laos this week to participate in a series of Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN)-led Ministerial meetings in Vientiane.    “ASEAN plays an important role in supporting a peaceful, stable and prosperous Indo-Pacific,” Mr Peters says.   “This will be our third visit to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    14 hours ago
  • Backing mental health services on the West Coast

    Construction of a new mental health facility at Te Nikau Grey Hospital in Greymouth is today one step closer, Mental Health Minister Matt Doocey says. “This $27 million facility shows this Government is delivering on its promise to boost mental health care and improve front line services,” Mr Doocey says. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    15 hours ago
  • NZ support for sustainable Pacific fisheries

    New Zealand is committing nearly $50 million to a package supporting sustainable Pacific fisheries development over the next four years, Foreign Minister Winston Peters and Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones announced today. “This support consisting of a range of initiatives demonstrates New Zealand’s commitment to assisting our Pacific partners ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    15 hours ago
  • Students’ needs at centre of new charter school adjustments

    Associate Education Minister David Seymour says proposed changes to the Education and Training Amendment Bill will ensure charter schools have more flexibility to negotiate employment agreements and are equipped with the right teaching resources. “Cabinet has agreed to progress an amendment which means unions will not be able to initiate ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    16 hours ago
  • Commissioner replaces Health NZ Board

    In response to serious concerns around oversight, overspend and a significant deterioration in financial outlook, the Board of Health New Zealand will be replaced with a Commissioner, Health Minister Dr Shane Reti announced today.  “The previous government’s botched health reforms have created significant financial challenges at Health NZ that, without ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Minister to speak at Australian Space Forum

    Minister for Space and Science, Innovation and Technology Judith Collins will travel to Adelaide tomorrow for space and science engagements, including speaking at the Australian Space Forum.  While there she will also have meetings and visits with a focus on space, biotechnology and innovation.  “New Zealand has a thriving space ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Climate Change Minister to attend climate action meeting in China

    Climate Change Minister Simon Watts will travel to China on Saturday to attend the Ministerial on Climate Action meeting held in Wuhan.  “Attending the Ministerial on Climate Action is an opportunity to advocate for New Zealand climate priorities and engage with our key partners on climate action,” Mr Watts says. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Oceans and Fisheries Minister to Solomons

    Oceans and Fisheries Minister Shane Jones is travelling to the Solomon Islands tomorrow for meetings with his counterparts from around the Pacific supporting collective management of the region’s fisheries. The 23rd Pacific Islands Forum Fisheries Committee and the 5th Regional Fisheries Ministers’ Meeting in Honiara from 23 to 26 July ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Government launches Military Style Academy Pilot

    The Government today launched the Military Style Academy Pilot at Te Au rere a te Tonga Youth Justice residence in Palmerston North, an important part of the Government’s plan to crackdown on youth crime and getting youth offenders back on track, Minister for Children, Karen Chhour said today. “On the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Nine priority bridge replacements to get underway

    The Government has welcomed news the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) has begun work to replace nine priority bridges across the country to ensure our state highway network remains resilient, reliable, and efficient for road users, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.“Increasing productivity and economic growth is a key priority for the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Update on global IT outage

    Acting Prime Minister David Seymour has been in contact throughout the evening with senior officials who have coordinated a whole of government response to the global IT outage and can provide an update. The Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet has designated the National Emergency Management Agency as the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • New Zealand, Japan renew Pacific partnership

    New Zealand and Japan will continue to step up their shared engagement with the Pacific, Foreign Minister Winston Peters says.    “New Zealand and Japan have a strong, shared interest in a free, open and stable Pacific Islands region,” Mr Peters says.    “We are pleased to be finding more ways ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • New infrastructure energises BOP forestry towns

    New developments in the heart of North Island forestry country will reinvigorate their communities and boost economic development, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones says. Mr Jones visited Kaingaroa and Kawerau in Bay of Plenty today to open a landmark community centre in the former and a new connecting road in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • 'Pacific Futures'

    President Adeang, fellow Ministers, honourable Diet Member Horii, Ambassadors, distinguished guests.    Minasama, konnichiwa, and good afternoon, everyone.    Distinguished guests, it’s a pleasure to be here with you today to talk about New Zealand’s foreign policy reset, the reasons for it, the values that underpin it, and how it ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Delivering 24 hour pothole repairs

    Kiwis and freight operators will benefit from the Coalition Government delivering on its commitment to introduce targets that will ensure a greater number of potholes on our state highways are identified and fixed within 24 hours, Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.  “Increasing productivity to help rebuild our economy is a key ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Peer Support Specialists rolled out in hospitals

    Five hospitals have been selected to trial a new mental health and addiction peer support service in their emergency departments as part of the Government’s commitment to increase access to mental health and addiction support for New Zealanders, says Mental Health Minister Matt Doocey.  “Peer Support Specialists in EDs will ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Consultation opens for the Emissions Reduction Plan

    The Government’s draft Emissions Reduction Plan shows we can stay within the limits of the first two emissions budgets while growing the economy, Climate Change Minister Simon Watts says. “This draft Emissions Reduction Plan shows that with effective climate change policies we can both grow the economy and deliver our ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Benefit stats highlight need for welfare reset

    The coalition Government is providing extra support for job seekers to ensure as many Kiwis as possible are in work or preparing for work, Social Development and Employment Minister Louise Upston says. “While today’s quarterly data showing a rise in the number of people on Jobseeker benefits has been long ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • School attendance continues to increase

    Provisional school attendance data for Term 2 2024 released today has shown more students are back in class compared to last year, with 53.1 per cent of students regularly attending, compared with 47 per cent in Term 2 2023, Associate Education Minister David Seymour says. “The Government has prioritised student ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • $22.7m of West Coast resilience projects underway

    Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news of progress being made by the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) on the first of several crucial resilience projects underway on the South Island’s West Coast.“State highways across the West Coast are critical lifelines for communities throughout the region, including for freight and tourism. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Migrant school leavers to get part-time work rights

    The coalition Government is providing migrant school leavers with greater opportunities, by increasing access to part-time work rights for those awaiting the outcome of a family residence application, Immigration Minister Erica Stanford has announced.  “Many young people who are part of a family residence application process are unable to work. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Funding to support use of NZ Sign Language

    Seven projects have received government funding totalling nearly $250,000 to maintain and promote the use of New Zealand Sign Language (NZSL). Initiatives that received an NZSL Board Community Grants this year include camps that support the use of NZSL through physical and sensory activities, and clubs where Deaf people and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Inflation data shows progress in economic recovery

    Today’s Consumer Price Index data which has inflation at 3.3 per cent for the year to July 2024, shows we are turning our economy around and winning the fight against rampant inflation, Finance Minister Nicola Willis says.  “While today’s data will be welcome news for Kiwis, I know many New ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Experts to advise Minister on Oranga Tamariki

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