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Who do you want answering the phone?

Written By: - Date published: 3:41 pm, April 30th, 2008 - 70 comments
Categories: election 2008, humour, youtube - Tags: , , , ,

Just received this parody of Hillary Clinton’s 3am ad, but with a New Zealand twist. Very funny.

70 comments on “Who do you want answering the phone?”

  1. Sam Dixon 1

    hehe.

    but seriously, the guy would be a disaster in a crisis.

  2. outofbed 2

    er em er its 3am in Hawaii, what time is it in New Zealand ?

  3. Steve Pierson 3

    awesome oob.

  4. Benodic 4

    He was talking about Australian 3am

  5. Mr English 5

    John Key is turning into a ditherer.

  6. Good to see the personal Key attacks are paying such dividends for you guys in the polls.

    Maybe try something new. Seriously, a new prime minister/finance minister may make you look less snide, arrogant, complacent and out of touch.

  7. Ha! it’s not “snide” you idiot, it’s “tired” – you can’t even do National party lines properly! Fool.

  8. Tane 8

    He forgot ‘bereft of ideas’ too.

    Seriously Prat, you need to work on your party lines. Cos seeing as you can’t recognise a joke when you see it, it’s pretty much all you’ve got.

  9. Snide, tired, hypocritical, lame duck, it’s all interchangeable, luckily though our internal polls (at HQ), are telling us these adjectives are hitting the right spot with the swinging voter. You guys really need to re visit your tactics. Could be H2 has got this one wrong!

    Also I got the joke, it just isn’t funny.

  10. I like answering the phone.

  11. BTP – I think you’ll find “snide” tends to put people off as it is a little elitist. I like the way you use the phrase “our internal polls” though. It’s almost like your do more than make the coffee and laugh at the jokes at the wrong time…

  12. r0b 12

    You guys really need to re visit your tactics. Could be H2 has got this one wrong!

    Our (Labour’s) tactics are competent government and policies that work for the good of New Zealanders. There’s no plan to revisit them. If they are the “wrong” tactics, well, so be it.

  13. mike 13

    “Our (Labour’s) tactics are competent government and policies that work for the good of New Zealanders”

    🙂 lol I got that one…

  14. Actually sod, was just being a bit playful as you had referred to “party lines”.

    Never voted National in my life. Don’t intend to.

    Use to vote Labour, 90, 93, even 96. Liberterianz and/or ACT since then. So really no friend of Labour Lite Key.

    I’m just making the point you fellas can parody Key all you like and it won’t make a bean of difference.

    rOb……”policies that work for the good of New Zealandeders”

    Clearly you don’t have a mortgage, have to buy food, use the health system or engage in public education? So what does that make you?

    Ahhh, either a cashed up single civil servant or a cabinet minister.

  15. reltih_a 15

    Ring Ring
    Hello, who is it?
    Heres the phone Helen.
    Thank you Judith.

  16. To quote y’self BTP – “I got the joke, it just isn’t funny.”

    Oh and in case anyone didn’t realise it “reltih_a” is Dad (I’ve got a sixth sense for him) – Hi Dad.

  17. reltih_a 17

    Hi son.

  18. You do know you’re banned for life don’t you, dad? I stuck up for you at teh time.

  19. r0b 19

    Mike: lol I got that one

    You’re a funny guy mike. I now see that you must have been joking in the Judith Collins thread when you said “the underclass that dear leader said didn’t exist” – and then couldn’t back it up. Hah hah mike, hah hah.

    BTP: Clearly you don’t have a mortgage, have to buy food, use the health system or engage in public education? So what does that make you? Ahhh, either a cashed up single civil servant or a cabinet minister.

    I’m just someone who remembers the 90s, and can read the statistics.

  20. simon coffey 20

    that’s funny, really funny, i’m sure even john would laugh at it, well i hope he would…

  21. rOb……..”I’m just someone who remembers the 90s, and can read the statistics.”

    Are those stats the ones that refer to the government (in the 90’s) reversing the deception of the previous labour government with regards to overall government debt. You know the one were Richardson enforced a policies to save us from economic annhilation, cuts which have NEVER, been reversed. And the basic tenet of a balanced budget has been EMBRACED by the B grade history teacher, Reserve Bank act etc etc.

    Also despite a global recession, the then government reduced interest rates and unemployment over that perioid.

    And now you (Labour) even give a big big hug to asset sales r.e Vector, have fucked the health system and fucked the education system and are now emabarking on your own little winter of discontent with respect to insustraial relations. ……….Hypocrites!

    Isn’t it funny how when things are rosy in the economy you credit Labour, but when reality bites, the NZ First/Shipley government is responsible.

    Thats the problem rOb, people are sick of the “oh they were worse line”….keep it up.

    In fact I really hope you are part of a Labour party re election committee. Actually I hope you have the insight and tact of Mike “confused” Williams. If so, you numpties are looking at sub 30% on the list and even you (as an insider), know how dire it is going to turn out in the electorates.

    Facing oblivion and all you got is a phone joke……..pathetic

  22. randal 22

    wow I really feel like I have been elevated to a higher plane after reading all that crap

  23. Censorship at the Standard in force again I see. They dont like it up em, the fuzzie wuzzies!

  24. “You do know you’re banned for life don’t you, dad? I stuck up for you at teh time.”

    Oh well robinsod that makes here, kiwiblog, public address and poneke.
    Oh well who cares, as getting sick of blogging.

  25. Billy 25

    “Oh well who cares, as getting sick of blogging.”

    Frankly, Dad, that might be for the best.

  26. Frankly, Billy, that might not be for the best.

  27. I’ve gotta say Dad I agree with you. I still think the best blog comment I’ve ever seen was one of yours. I don’t think many people see your project for what it is but I want you to know that it is certainly appreciated by me.

  28. Judging from last week, if it’s 3am John Key will be at the Matterhorn. Where’s Helen?

  29. Cheers robinsod.Thank you mate.

  30. deemac 30

    can’t wait for D4J’s take on the Austrian basement…

  31. r0b 31

    BoomTownPrat, that little monologue was a pretty disturbing stream of semi-consciousness. I think you need to get out more, get some fresh air every now and then.

    If you’d made any substantive points about social and economic indicators of the 90’s vs today then I could have replied to them, but you didn’t, so I can’t.

    All I can do is wish you most sincerely the very best of luck in your future endeavours. Have a lovely life.

  32. deemac, I cannot reply to petal’s malicious comment on kiwiblog, as I cannot log in ? I am a spammer with far to many comments.

    Feel free to back stab as many enjoy reading it on kiwiblog.

  33. Matthew Pilott 34

    BTP – did Act get Ansell to whip that up? It’s on a par with the Free Speech Coalition billboards, quality/intelligence wise…

  34. Tane 35

    Censorship at the Standard in force again I see. They dont like it up em, the fuzzie wuzzies!

    What on earth are you on about now?

  35. rOb

    “If you’d made any substantive points about social and economic indicators of the 90’s vs today then I could have replied to them, but you didn’t, so I can’t.”

    look mate which part of “balanced budget”, don’t you get?

    Thats what Richardson did. That led to lower inflation, economic growth and the platform which said B grade history teacher has squandred.

    I’ll give you stats…..10% interest rates, 26% food inflation, unaffordable housing, record sickness benefits, economic ruin as a result of Kyoto.

    What happened to top half of OECD, closing the gaps, carbon neutrality.
    As I said before, this is becoming a like the “dead parrot sketch”

  36. I see Cameron still can’t even manage basic HTML. When Drupal makes it so easy he’s really got no excuse…

    Oh and Deemac? Give the dad-bashing a break.

  37. r0b 38

    They dont like it up em, the fuzzie wuzzies!

    What on earth are you on about now?

    Tane, BPT is channelling Corporal Jones: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dad's_Army

  38. Tane 39

    Prat – Just saw the video you posted from that friend of yours who photoshops children’s heads onto gay porn. Pretty weak, I gotta say.

    I mean, it was an obvious response to the video posted here, but wasn’t in the slightest bit funny, and it had to lie about what Clark was laughing about to make its point.

    Here’s a hint mate – she wasn’t laughing at struggling Kiwis, she was laughing at John Key’s ineptitude as a leader. I mean, you gotta admit, that “why are they being so mean to me?” whingeing was hardly the sign of a strong leader.

  39. r0b 40

    <em. Give the dad-bashing a break.

    I always suspected you were a softie at heart ‘Sod. Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with us…

  40. Tane 41

    Oh and Dad, by the way, you’re still banned. Please respect this.

    Captcha: powerboat Unionists – I wish.

  41. AncientGeek 42

    That video is cruel, probably unjust, and wonderfully funny.

    Makes me wish that we had some of those wonderful political comics from days gone by. Imagine John Clarke and co in this election. There are so many more targets under MMP.

  42. r0b 43

    look mate which part of “balanced budget’, don’t you get?

    The relevance part.

    Thats what Richardson did.

    Richardson attacked the poorest people in NZ, those least able to defend themselves. She had other options to deal with the financial situation. Options like raising taxes. But she’s a Tory, she did what Tories have done, and what they’ll likely do again if we give them a chance.

    I’ll give you stats ..10% interest rates, 26% food inflation, unaffordable housing, record sickness benefits, economic ruin as a result of Kyoto.

    Interest rates have positive and negative effects. Food inflation is a serious issue, but largely derived from international events that are well beyond Government control (the Government needs to take what action it can though). Sickness benefits are slightly up with the ageing population, overall working age benefits are well down and still falling. Kyoto remains to be seen.

    And let’s keep in mind: unemployment down do 30 year lows, crime down, numbers on benefits down, economy growing, Working for Families, KiwiSaver, superannuation increases, minimum wage raised every year, four weeks leave, 20 hours free early childhood education, fair rents, interest free loans for students, cheaper doctors vists, and employment law which stopped the widening wage gap with Australia. Oh – and an independent and sane foreign policy while we’re at it. Etc etc etc. Thanks Labour!

  43. Sorry Tane, hate to employ a cliche…..but

    DIDDUMS!

  44. Tane 45

    You know, when you get past the spit and the bile there really isn’t much behind the likes of Whaleoil and BoomTownPrat. Just anger and an overinflated sense of Tory privelige.

  45. Tane……

    “Tory Privelige”

    ha fuckin ha

    Is that the same “Tory Charity” that MC has adopted….or the same tax cuts that MC…..has adopted…………or the same balanced budget that MC has adopted?

    Flip/Flop Slippery Cullen…..and the budget will confirm it?

    And just to rub it in Tane, have you looked at the detail and comments by cullen and clark re 1999 election that are about to be be “reversed” on billboards far and wide. Take a guess at the content.

  46. Tane 47

    Prat, if your comments were even vaguely coherent I’d respond, but I suspect you’re drunk. Are you capable of saying anything substantive?.

    Anyway, I’m off to bed. Have a good one.

  47. reltih_a 48

    Hi all

    Tane, look at my mame backwards:
    a_hitler.
    See, I always had a son, just like the papers say. Tane, you are my son from a French whore!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Yours
    Adolf

    [Tane: And that’s you banned for life]

  48. Tane, not drunk, just pissed(off), that you lot still unashamedly and without critic justify this disaster of an administration.

    Funny in it?

  49. Draco TB 50

    And the basic tenet of a balanced budget has been EMBRACED by the B grade history teacher, Reserve Bank act etc etc.

    You, of course, refer to the legislation that requires a balanced budget. The one that National wants to get rid of.

  50. Craig Ranapia 51

    Seriously Prat, you need to work on your party lines. Cos seeing as you can’t recognise a joke when you see it, it’s pretty much all you’ve got.

    Seriously, Tane, if you can’t come up with a better funny than a lame rip off of a profoundly dishonest anti-Obama ad that Karl Rove probably cooked up in his sleep, I’m laughing. Just at you, not with you.

    It doesn’t seem to be working in the US, and I don’t see why it would work here.

  51. Felix 52

    Is the umming and ahhing from Mr Key taken from the interview where he couldn’t remember how he felt about the springbok tour? Or is it one of his many other “mental focus group” moments?

  52. Tane 53

    Craig, it’s a lighthearted joke sent in by a reader, not a bloody campaign ad! I know it must be hard trying to keep up that pompous facade, but do try to see the funny side.

  53. Craig Ranapia 54

    Tane:

    Well, fair enough up to a point. This is your house, and you can post what you like. But I don’t really buy the ‘it’s just a joke’ defence when we’re talking abour right wingnuts who think ‘Hullen Klark’ and ‘Liarbore’ is a direct hit on the punny bone. Guess humour, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder but in this case, I seriously think you need contacts.

    I certainly don’t think we need to be importing the dishonest politics of fear on display in that ad, thanks. If that makes me a humourless prat, I’m quite happy to plead guilty as charged.

  54. Craig – the politics of fear are being sent up here. I suggest if you are so keen on stopping the dishonest politics of fear you take the National Party to task for its lies about crime rates. Now that is fear-mongering for political gain.

    http://kiwiblogblog.wordpress.com/2008/04/28/more-creative-spin-read-fibs-from-key/

  55. higherstandard 56

    Lies about crime rates ??

    How about the Minister fronting that the P epidemic is out of control.

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/1/story.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10507267

    Has she signed up with as you put it “National’s dishonest politics of fear ?”

  56. Uhmm hate to rain on your deluded parade Tāne, but under the law which you so enthusiastially supported the video is indeed a campaign ad, along with several more that you have posted since Jan 1, all without authorisation, all under the user name of thestandardnz on Youtube.

    You see the law is so broad and your understanding of it so woeful that like your sponsors you continue to break the law that you supported.

    Inconvenient the truth may be, it is the truth nonetheless and there are two words that describe such continual law breakers, they are “criminals” and “hypocrites”

  57. djp 58

    actually that video is quite funny 🙂

  58. lprent 59

    Whale: Personally I don’t read the act that way. I think you’re spreading it on with too wide a brush.

    So follow the process. Send a complaint in and get the electoral commission to make a ruling. It has worked for you so far.

    captcha: end flaming – I don’t believe it classic captcha

  59. Steve Pierson 60

    Whale.

    We haven’t produced this ad, nor published it via Youtube. tane has simply posted it, linking to the youtube vid.

    How about this, rather than trying to find every petty breach of the EFA and spending the rest of your time making gay porn involving teenage boys, why don’t you try to become a constructive part of political debate? Our offsiders at the Hive would be a good example to emulate. I just fear you don’t have the depth or poltiical nous to do so.

  60. ghostwhowalks 61

    Where was whaleoils authorisation for his video promo for Absolute Power

  61. I also promoted the video promo for Absolute Power.

  62. What would Cameron know about the law? He can’t even run a business without it going insolvent and having auditors on his back. Eh Cameron?

    And bro, you never answered my question – did you settle with your creditors?

  63. Craig Ranapia 64

    Robinsod:

    I’d be quite happy to take up a collection to provide every MP, public service spinster and hack with a copy of Daryl Huff’s excellent and highly accessible short book ‘How to Lie with Statistics’ — fifty four years after it was first published, it’s still as pertinent as ever. Bugger. Any suggestions how to force the sods to read it? Hell, I’d be satisfied if a few more people got the distinction between correlation and causation.

  64. Craig – you could start by heading over to Kiwiblog and pointing out the statistical inconsistencies DPF employs in National’s political interests. As a longstanding rightwing voice in the blogosphere you may have the authority to get David to listen to sense.

    I look forward to watching your campaign.

  65. Whaleoil 66

    Steve and Lynn, It doesn’t really matter how you like to describe it. thestandardnz is your userid to Youtube, hosting location is immaterial to the law, redistributing it is, causing it to be viewed is and whether or not you authored it or not it is your site, your userid being used, therefore it is you broadcasting the election advertisement.

    Again it may be inconvenient but the facts are the facts, that you continue to flaunt the law you passed show how out of touch you and your sponsor party are.

    Robinsod, keep up the slander, unless you are in full command of the facts I suggest you shut your mouth, how about the Standard authors place some moderation on slanderous and arguably defaming comments.

  66. Felix 67

    Moderation on slanderous and arguably defaming comments?

    You realise you’d probably never get another comment published, don’t you whaleoil?

  67. Matthew Pilott 68

    Heh, Whale is blubbering about “your sponsor party” AND mentions slander (proving he’s none too sharp) in the same breath.

    Whale, if you want to have a wee cry (because let’s be honest, mentioning slander and defamation is nothing but a wimp’s way of talking tough) try to get your terms correct. Slander is spoken, libel is printed.

  68. Robinsod, keep up the slander, unless you are in full command of the facts I suggest you shut your mouth, how about the Standard authors place some moderation on slanderous and arguably defaming comments.

    I have a copy of the auditor’s report Cameron. It is a public record and I am asking you questions based on reasonable assumptions drawn from it and from further investigations. If you have any concerns about the nature of the conclusions I have drawn you can address them by answering my questions. This is, after all, a free forum for response. I note you repeatedly choose not to. Shame that.

    Oh and Cameron? “Slander” is spoken defamation and “libel” is written defamation. You cannot claim I am slandering you because my comments are written and if you claim I am libeling you you are claiming I am defaming you not “arguably defaming” you. Either way you don’t have a legal leg to stand on fool. Perhaps you should just HTFU instead you poor wee man…

  69. Sa Paullo 70

    Dear Craig,

    are you sure you’re a National party supporter? you seem to be articulate, coherent and have principles, as well as engage constructively in debates.

    be careful- you sound suspiciously like the Katherine Rich, Bill English part of the party that has problems telling porkies and bashing on single mothers, Maori etc just in order to get power, or to put policies in their mouths they simply don’t genuinely believe.

    have to say I think the video would have been a lot funnier if a cockroach answered the phone…or maybe even a giant weta…they’re about the same right?

    but hey this is politics…and we don’t have the daily show or the cnnn in New Zealand…but we could f*&^%^ do with it…though some of our blubbery friends may not get the jokes…

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    It seems fair to say that we currently live in a problematic political moment in world history. Democracies are in decline and dictatorships are on the rise. Primordial, sectarian and post-modern divisions have re-emerged, are on the rise or have been accentuated by political evolutions of the moment such as ...
    KiwipoliticoBy Pablo
    6 days ago
  • Another captured agency
    Last month, Greenpeace head Russel Norman surrendered his speaking slot at an EPA conference to student climate activist Sorcha Carr, who told the EPA exactly what she thought of them. It was a bold move, which confronted both regulators and polluters (or, as the EPA calls them, "stakeholders") with the ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    6 days ago
  • NZ First’s dodgy loans
    The core principle supposedly underlying New Zealand's electoral finance regime is transparency: parties can accept large donations from rich people wanting to buy policy, but only if they tell the public they've been bought. Most parties abide by this, so we know that TOP was wholly-owned by Gareth Morgan, and ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    6 days ago
  • Member’s Day: The choice on End of Life Choice
    Today is a Member's Day, probably the second-to-last one of the year, and its a big one, with the Third Reading of David Seymour's End of Life Choice Bill. last Member's Day it was reported back from committee, after MPs voted narrowly to make it subject to a (rules TBA) ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    6 days ago
  • How growth in population and consumption drives planetary change
    Climate Explained is a collaboration between The Conversation, Stuff and the New Zealand Science Media Centre to answer your questions about climate change. If you have a question you’d like an expert to answer, please send it to climate.change@stuff.co.nz The growth of the human population over the last 70 ...
    SciBlogsBy Guest Author
    6 days ago
  • The disappearing Women …
    by The Council of Disobedient Women In her excellent oral submission to the Abortion reform select committee on 31st October on behalf of Otago University’s Department of Public Health, historian and public health researcher Hera Cook stated: “We would ask that the committee not use the term ‘pregnant persons’ and ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    7 days ago
  • “A Passage to India”: enduring art in changing times
    by Don Franks In 1957, E M Forster wrote, of his greatest work: “The India described in ‘A Passage to India’ no longer exists either politically or socially. Change had begun even at the time the book was published ( 1924) and during the following quarter of a century it ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    7 days ago
  • Contemptuous
    The Referendums Framework Bill was due back from select committee today. But there's no report on it. Instead, the bill has been bounced back to the House under Standing order 29593) because the Committee didn't bother to produce one. They probably tried. But given the membership of the committee (which ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    7 days ago
  • Zero Carbon: It’s not just a good idea, it’s the law
    Two years into New Zealand’s Labour-led government, the long-delayed Zero Carbon Bill became law on 7 November. Passed essentially unanimously, the lengthy public debates and political manoeuvring faded away until the final passage was even anticlimactic: Flipping through the @nzstuff @DomPost I was starting to wonder if I’d dreamt ...
    SciBlogsBy Robert McLachlan
    7 days ago
  • Climate Change: What happens next?
    Now the Zero Carbon Bill is law, what's next? Obviously, the ETS changes currently before select committee are going to be the next battleground. But we're also going to get a good idea of where we're going, and if the progress the Zero Carbon Act promises is good enough, during ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    7 days ago
  • Climate change will fuel bush fires
    Grant Pearce The effects of the current Australian bushfires in New South Wales and Queensland (and also again in California) are devastating and far-reaching. To date, the fires have resulted in several lives being lost and many homes and properties destroyed. Here in New Zealand, the impacts have been only ...
    SciBlogsBy Guest Author
    1 week ago
  • Participation rates
    A passing comment in a post the other day about the labour force participation rates of older people prompted me to pull down the fuller data and see what we could see about various participation rates over the decades since the HLFS began in 1986.   As it happens, the ...
    SciBlogsBy Michael Reddell
    1 week ago
  • Not So Much “OK Boomer” As “OK Ruling Class”.
    Distract And Divert: The rise of what we have come to call “Identity Politics” represents the ideological manifestation of the ruling class’s objective need to destroy class politics, and of the middle-class’s subjective need to justify their participation in the process.THE RELIEF of the ruling class can only be imagined. ...
    1 week ago
  • Asking for it …
    "I saw a newspaper picture,From the political campaignA woman was kissing a child,Who was obviously in pain.She spills with compassion,As that young child'sFace in her hands she gripsCan you imagine all that greed and avariceComing down on that child's lips?" ...
    1 week ago
  • New Zealand’s Poor Pandemic Preparedness According to the Global Health Security Index
    Dr Matt Boyd, Prof Michael Baker, Prof Nick Wilson The Global Health Security Index which considers pandemic threats has just been published. Unfortunately, NZ scores approximately half marks (54/100), coming in 35th in the world rankings – far behind Australia. This poor result suggests that the NZ Government needs to ...
    SciBlogsBy Public Health Expert
    1 week ago
  • Climate Change: Thank Winston
    The Zero Carbon Act is inadequate, with a weak methane target designed to give farmers a free ride. But it turns out it could have been worse: Climate Change Minister James Shaw was so desperate to get National on board, he wanted to gut that target, and leave it in ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Illicit markets and Bali Booze
    The Herald reprints an Australian story on a couple of tragic deaths in Bali from drinking cocktails that had methanol in them.  The story argues that methanol is likely the result of home distillation. But what the young tourists were experiencing was far from a hangover. They’d consumed a toxic cocktail ...
    SciBlogsBy Eric Crampton
    1 week ago
  • This is not what armed police are for
    Last month, the police announced a trial of specialist roaming armed units, which would drive round (poor, brown) areas in armoured SUVs, armed to the teeth. When they announced the trial, they told us it was about having armed police "ready to attend major incidents at any time if needed". ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • Spain’s failed electoral gamble
    Spain went to the polls today in the second elections this year, after the Socialists (who had come to power in a confidence vote, then gone to the polls in April) rejected the offer of a coalition with the left-wing PoDemos, and instead decided to gamble n a better outcome ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • The astroturf party
    National has finally rolled out its "BlueGreen" astroturf party, fronted by an array of former nats and people who were dumped by the Greens for not being Green enough. Its initial pitch is described by Stuff as "very business-friendly", and its priorities are what you'd expect: conservation, predator-free funding, a ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    1 week ago
  • How to cheat at university
    A couple of days ago I attended (and spoke at) the University of Waikato’s “LearnFest” event. There were lots of talks and sessions on very diverse aspects of teaching, mostly at tertiary level. One was by Myra Williamson from Te Piringa Faculty of Law here at Waikato, on Contract Cheating ...
    SciBlogsBy Marcus Wilson
    1 week ago
  • How NZ was put on world maps using a transit of Mercury
    There will be a transit of Mercury – the planet Mercury will pass across the face of the Sun – taking place at sunrise in New Zealand on Tuesday, 12th November. It was by observing such an event 250 years ago that James Cook and his scientist colleagues were able ...
    SciBlogsBy Duncan Steel
    1 week ago
  • Georgina Beyer: We need to be able to talk without being offended
    Since becoming the world’s first openly transexual mayor and member of parliament, Georgina Beyer has been recognised as a trailblazer for trans rights. Daphna Whitmore talks with her about where she sees the current trans movement We start out talking about legislation the government put on hold that would have ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago
  • The anti-fluoride brigade won’t be erecting billboards about this study
    If FFNZ really put their faith in “Top Medical Journals” they would now be amending their billboards to recognise new research results. Image from FFNZ but updated to agree with the latest research. ...
    1 week ago
  • Chosen To Rule? What Sort Of Christian Is Chris Luxon?
    National Messiah? Chris Luxon identifies himself as an evangelical Christian. If he is genuine in this self-characterisation, then he will take every opportunity his public office provides to proselytise on behalf of his faith. He will also feel obliged to bear witness against beliefs and practices he believes to be ...
    1 week ago
  • War of the worms
    I'm going to make a Reckless Prediction™ that the Tories have 'topped out' in the 'poll of polls' / Britain Elects multipoll tracker at about 38%, and in the next week we will start to see Labour creep up on them.In fact, we might just be seeing the start of ...
    1 week ago
  • Marvelly shows us how to be a feminist without feminism
    by The Council of Disobedient Women Lizzie Marvelly: “I may have missed this… has @afterellen gone all terf-y? Or am I reading something incorrectly? “ https://twitter.com/LizzieMarvelly/status/1191840059105742849 After Ellen is a lesbian website that is unashamedly pro-lesbian, as you’d expect. So why is Ms Marvelly so bothered about lesbians having their ...
    RedlineBy Daphna
    1 week ago
  • Out of the past – Tories to revive racist laws from the 16th century
    Did you know there once was a time when it was illegal to be a gypsy (aka Romani) in Britain?That was between 1530, when the Egyptians Act was passed, and 1856, when it was repealed.Amongst other things, the act forbade the entry of 'Egyptians' into England, ordered those already there ...
    1 week ago
  • 1000 of these now
    Some days I sit and think, “what will I write…?” What do you say when you get to 1000 posts? Maybe you just start where you are, diverge to where this all began, then offer a collection of reader’s favourite posts, and a few of your own? (And throw in ...
    SciBlogsBy Grant Jacobs
    1 week ago
  • Has Shane Jones Just Saved NZ First?
    Counter-Puncher: The “activists” and “radicals” (his own words) from the Indian community who took such strong exception to Shane Jones’ remarks about Immigration NZ’s treatment of arranged marriages, may end up bitterly regretting their intervention. Jones is not the sort of person who turns the other cheek to his critics.SHANE ...
    1 week ago
  • Climate Change: As predicted
    Yesterday, when National voted for the Zero Carbon Bill, I predicted they'd gut it the moment they regained power, just as they had done to the ETS. And indeed, they have explicitly promised to do exactly that within their first hundred days in office. What would their amendments do? Abandon ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Let this never be forgot
    In the spirit of Remember, remember the fifth of November, let's keep this in mind FOREVER.
    Oh dear. Extraordinary interview on PM with Andrew Bridgen and @EvanHD just now. Bridgen was defending Jacob Rees Mogg’s Grenfell comments. Evan asked him if JRM had meant to say he would have left ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Too Late To Change Capitalism’s Flightpath?
    Collision Course? In conditions of ideological white-out, the international bankers’ “Woop-Woop! Pull Up!” warning may have come too late to save global capitalism.WHAT DOES IT MEAN when international bankers are more willing to embrace radical solutions than our politicians and their electors? At both the International Monetary Fund and the ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Whooping cough vaccine works well despite its imperfections
    Pertussis (whooping cough) is a conundrum. It is a disease that was described hundreds of years ago and the bacteria that causes it (Bordetella pertussis) isolated in 1906. We have had vaccines for about 80 years but this disease is defiant in the face of human immunity. I wanted to ...
    SciBlogsBy Helen Petousis Harris
    2 weeks ago
  • Climate Change: Passed
    The Zero Carbon Bill has just passed its third reading, uanimously. In the end, National supported it - but we all know they'll turn around and gut it the moment they regain power. Meanwhile, I guess ACT's David Seymour didn't even bother to show up. I am on record as ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Retailing of vaping products – New NZ Research
    Dr Lindsay Robertson, Dr Jerram Bateman, Professor Janet Hoek Members of the public health community hold divergent views on how access to vaping products or electronic nicotine delivery systems (ENDS) products should be arranged. Some believe ENDS should be as widely available as smoked tobacco and argue for liberal ...
    SciBlogsBy Public Health Expert
    2 weeks ago
  • Justice for Bomber
    When the Police were trying to cover up for the National Party over Dirty Politics, they went all-in with their abuses of power. They illegally search Nicky Hager's house, violating his journalistic privilege and invading his privacy. They unlawfully acquired Hager's bank records. They did the same to left-wing blogger ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Britain’s climate tyranny was unlawful
    Last month, in response to a wave of protests by Extinction Rebellion, the British government purported to ban their protests from the whole of London. It was a significant interference with the freedoms of expression and assembly, and another sign of the country's decline into tyranny. But now, a court ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • More crime from the spies
    Last year, the Inspector-General of Intelligence and Security reported on significant problems with the intelligence warrant system. While they were unwilling to declare any warrant "irregular" (meaning unlawful) due to the recent law change, they were also not willing to give the system a clean bill of health. Now, they've ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Vaccination, compulsion, and paternalism for the lower orders
    The National Party has come out in support of encouraging greater vaccination uptake. But it sure isn’t the way I’d do it. National’s suggested docking the benefits of those on benefit whose kids aren’t keeping up with their vaccinations. Some in National have suggested extending that to payments under Working ...
    SciBlogsBy Eric Crampton
    2 weeks ago
  • Global Protests Rage On: But Slogans Are Not Plans.
    Feeding The Flames: It is simply not enough to demand an end to “corruption”, or “inequality”, or the overbearing influence of the authorities in Beijing. These are just “lowest common denominator” demands: the sort of slogans that pull people onto the streets. They are not a plan.WHERE’S THE PLAN? Across ...
    2 weeks ago
  • 11,000 employed under Labour
    The labour market statistics have been released, and unemployment has risen to 4.2%. There are 115,000 unemployed - 11,000 fewer than when Labour took office. In that time the minimum wage has gone up by $2 an hour, which shows that the right's fears about increases causing unemployment are simply ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Boycott this democratic fraud
    The Foreign Affairs, Defence and Trade Committee has called for submissions on Andrew Little's tyrannical Terrorism Suppression (Control Orders) Bill. Normally I encourage participation in the democratic process. I am not doing so in this case. Instead, I encourage all of you to boycott this submissions process, and to post ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Why Mars is cold despite an atmosphere of mostly carbon dioxide
    Climate Explained is a collaboration between The Conversation, Stuff and the New Zealand Science Media Centre to answer your questions about climate change. If you have a question you’d like an expert to answer, please send it to climate.change@stuff.co.nz If tiny concentrations of carbon dioxide can hold enough heat ...
    SciBlogsBy Guest Author
    2 weeks ago
  • Climate Change: Ban private jets
    Aviation is one of the fastest growing sources of greenhouse gas emissions, and within it, one of the fastest sources is elite travel: billionaires flitting around the world in their private jets, spewing excessive pollution into the atmosphere just so they can avoid mixing with us dirty peasants. But in ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • Climate Change: Untold Suffering
    That's what we face if we don't stop climate change, according to a warning from 11,000 scientists:The world’s people face “untold suffering due to the climate crisis” unless there are major transformations to global society, according to a stark warning from more than 11,000 scientists. “We declare clearly and unequivocally ...
    No Right TurnBy Idiot/Savant
    2 weeks ago
  • The left and violent misogyny
    by Phil Duncan Here’s just a few of the kind of threats issued day in and day out against gender-critical women – feminists, marxists, etc – overwhelmingly by MEN (albeit men identifying as women). “Kill all Terfs”. “Shoot a Terf today”. “All terfs deserve to be shot in the head”. ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    2 weeks ago
  • Imperialism and the iPhone
    This is the third of the synopses of parts of the opening chapter of John Smith’s Imperialism in the 21st Century (New York, Monthly Review Press, 2016). The synopsis and commentary below is written by Phil Duncan. Unlike the humble cup of coffee and t-shirt that we looked at in ...
    RedlineBy Admin
    2 weeks ago
  • The freshwater mussel housing crisis: eviction by invasive weeds?
    Tom Moore Traditionally a food source and cutting tool, freshwater mussels/kākahi are now widely valued as water filters that help clean our waterbodies and maintain ecosystem health throughout Aotearoa. The improvement they provide in water quality can make it easier for other animals to live in streams and rivers, as ...
    SciBlogsBy Guest Author
    2 weeks ago

  • Wayne Brown hits back at critics: Ports of Auckland has to move
    The chairman of the Upper North Island Supply Chain Strategy (UNISCS) working group, Wayne Brown, has hit back at critics of his group’s recommendations to relocate the Ports of Auckland cargo operations to Whangarei’s deepwater port of Northport. The working group's recommendation to close Auckland waterfront to all but cruise ...
    21 hours ago
  • Week That Was: Supporting our schools
    We're setting our young people up for success, investing in education around the country.  ...
    1 day ago
  • Kiwis to have their say on End of Life Choice
    Jenny Marcroft MP, Spokesperson for Health New Zealand First backs the public to decide on the End of Life Choice Bill via a referendum at the 2020 General Election. The Bill, with New Zealand First’s referendum provision incorporated, passed its final reading in Parliament this evening. New Zealand First Spokesperson for ...
    5 days ago
  • Addressing miscarriages of justice
    Darroch Ball, Spokesperson for Justice New Zealand First is proud that a key Coalition Agreement commitment which will provide for a more transparent and effective criminal justice system has been realised. Legislation to establish the Criminal Cases Review Commission, an independent body focused on identifying and responding to possible miscarriages of ...
    6 days ago
  • Week That Was: Historic action on climate change
    "Today we have made a choice that will leave a legacy... I hope that means that future generations will see that we, in New Zealand, were on the right side of history." - Jacinda Ardern, Third Reading of the Zero Carbon Bill ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Tax-free deployments for Kiwi troops
    Darroch Ball, New Zealand First List MP A Member’s bill has been proposed that would provide income tax exemptions for all New Zealand Defence Force (NZDF) personnel while on operational deployment overseas. The Income Tax (Exemption for Salary or Wages of NZDF Members on Active Deployment) Amendment Bill proposed by New Zealand First ...
    2 weeks ago
  • A balanced Zero Carbon Bill passed
    Rt Hon Winston Peters, New Zealand First Leader New Zealand First is proud to have brought common sense to the Climate Change Response (Zero Carbon) Amendment Bill, which passed its final reading in Parliament today. Party Leader Rt Hon Winston Peters says months of hard work went into negotiating a balanced ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Paramedics’ status to be recognised
    Jenny Marcroft MP, Spokesperson for Health New Zealand First has listened to calls to recognise paramedics as registered health professionals under the Health Practitioners’ Competence Assurance Act (the Act). Today, the Coalition Government announced plans for paramedics to be registered as health practitioners under the Act, and the establishment of a ...
    2 weeks ago
  • Week That Was: 2,000 teachers in two years
    We began the week by commemorating the New Zealand Wars and celebrating a major increase in the number of teachers. Then, we were busy supporting offenders into work and getting our rail back on track after years of underinvestment. And that's just the start! ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Winning an election one conversation at a time
    In October I was sworn in as the Mayor of Lower Hutt. It’s the privilege of my life to serve Hutt people as their Mayor. There is something really special to be able to serve the community where I was raised, and where I live.   ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Closer cooperation with Korean horse racing industry
    Rt Hon Winston Peters, Deputy Prime Minister, Minister for Racing Racing Minister Winston Peters met with Korea Racing Authority Chairperson Nak Soon Kim in Seoul today to discuss closer cooperation between the New Zealand and Korean horse racing industries. As part of the visit to the Seoul Racecourse, Mr Peters witnessed ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Otago to lead digital creativity
    Hon Shane Jones, Minister for Regional Economic Development The Provincial Growth Fund (PGF) is investing $10 million to establish Otago as the centre of New Zealand’s creative digital industry over the next ten years, Regional Development Minister Shane Jones announced today. “The initiative will bring us closer to the vision of ...
    3 weeks ago
  • Young Otago students encouraged to take on forestry careers
    Hon Shane Jones, Minister for Regional Economic Development The Provincial Growth Fund (PGF)’s skills and employment programme will help young Otago people into long-term forestry careers, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones announced today. Te Ara Mahi will invest $63,000 in the 2020 school year to support eight 17 and 18 ...
    3 weeks ago
  • PGF backing Dunedin’s waterfront ambitions
    Hon Shane Jones, Minister for Regional Economic Development The Provincial Growth Fund (PGF) will support local plans to revitalise and stimulate economic development opportunities in Otago, Regional Economic Development Minister Shane Jones has announced. The four Regional Economic Development Ministers have approved an in-principle investment of $19.9 million towards the region’s ...
    3 weeks ago

  • New housing part of support for Kaumātua
    The Government is building special housing to accommodate one of Aotearoa’s greatest taonga- our kaumātua, says the Minister for Māori Development, Hon Nanaia Mahuta.  Speaking at a National Kaumātua Service Providers Conference in Rotorua today, the Minister reinforced the importance kaumātua play in maintaining and passing on mātauranga Māori, knowledge, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 hours ago
  • Forestry helps prisoners into jobs
    Eleven men from a pilot forestry training programme for prisoners in Northland now have full time jobs or job offers upon release, Corrections Minister Kelvin Davis and Forestry Minister Shane Jones announced today. The ‘release to work’ programme was a collaboration between Te Uru Rākau and the Department of Corrections, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 hours ago
  • Reform of public service a step closer
    Minister of State Services Chris Hipkins today introduced into Parliament a Bill that will make it easier for the public service to tackle the biggest challenges facing Governments. The Bill represents the most significant change in the public service in 30 years. The State Sector Act 1988 will be repealed ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    20 hours ago
  • Donations scheme to relieve pressure on families
    The families of more than 416,000 students will be better off next year as their schools have signed up to the Government’s donations scheme, Education Minister Chris Hipkins said today. The scheme will see almost $62.5 million in additional Government funding go to schools nationwide next year. “I’m really pleased ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    20 hours ago
  • Further support for Samoan measles outbreak
    Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters has announced further support as the Government of Samoa responds to a serious measles outbreak. “New Zealand will deploy a further 18 vaccination nurses, bringing the total to 30 working in Samoa over the next four weeks,” Mr Peters said. “A New Zealand Medical Assistance ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    21 hours ago
  • Speech to the Child Poverty Action Group 2019 Summit
      Fa’atalofa atu, malo e lelei, Kia ora koutou katoa Thank you to the Child Poverty Action Group for asking me to be here today to provide an update on some of the things that have been happening across my the social development portfolio.  Can I firstly acknowledge the vast ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Speech to the New Zealand Thoroughbred Racing Annual Conference
    ***Please check against delivery*** Good morning everyone. It is a pleasure to be with you this morning to open this year’s New Zealand Thoroughbred Racing Conference and AGM. Firstly, thank you Dr Alan Jackson, NZTR Chair for your introduction. And let us acknowledge also: The NZTR Board; Dean McKenzie, Chair ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Fairer rules for tenants and landlords
    The Government has delivered on its promise to the over one million New Zealanders who now rent to make it fairer and more secure, Associate Minister of Housing (Public Housing) Kris Faafoi has announced today. Both renters and landlords will benefit from the suite of practical changes to the Residential ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Two decades of marine protection celebrated at Te Tapuwae o Rongokako in Tairawhiti
    A marine conservation milestone - the 20th anniversary of the establishment of Te Tapuwae o Rongokako Marine Reserve - is being celebrated today at a community event in Tairāwhiti/East Coast attended by the Minister of Conservation, Eugenie Sage. “The creation of this marine reserve in November 1999 was a game ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Food industry asked to step up fight against obesity
         The Government is asking the food industry to step up work to tackle obesity including reducing sugar, fat and salt in their products, better information for consumers, and tighter restrictions on advertising to children. Health Minister David Clark and Food Safety Minister Damien O’Connor have responded to a ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    3 days ago
  • Modern emergency care for Queenstown area
    ew, modern emergency department and outpatient facilities at Queenstown’s Lakes District Hospital mean better emergency care for the growing tourist mecca’s visitors and locals, says Health Minister David Clark. Today Dr Clark officially opened the hospital’s redeveloped Emergency Department and Outpatient facilities. The new facilities include: •    An extended Emergency Department ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Contraception important for New Zealanders
    Associate Health Minister Julie Anne Genter says today’s release of sexual and reproductive health data reinforces the significance of the Government’s commitment to providing free or very low-cost contraception. The Ministry of Health today published statistics from the Ministry of Health’s 2014/15 Health Survey. “It is important people can make ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • NZ medical staff and measles vaccines going to Samoa
    Foreign Minister Winston Peters has announced that at the request of the Samoan Government, New Zealand will be providing further support to Samoa as it faces a worsening measles outbreak. “In response to a request from the people of Samoa, New Zealand is providing 3000 measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Disability Action Plan 2019 – 2023
    “The new Disability Action Plan 2019–2023 moves us towards the inclusive and accessible New Zealand that this government has committed to,” Minister for Disability Issues Carmel Sepuloni announced today.  “The Action Plan was designed by disabled people, their family and supporters, the disability sector and government agencies. It will ensure ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Joint Statement – Third Singapore-New Zealand Defence Ministers’ Meeting
    Third Singapore-New Zealand Defence Ministers’ Meeting 14 November 2019 Joint Statement 1. Defence Ministers Ron Mark and Dr Ng Eng Hen today conducted their third annual Singapore-New Zealand Defence Ministers’ Meeting in Singapore. 2. Building on the Enhanced Partnership signed between both countries in May this year, this annual meeting ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Sexual Violence Legislation Bill has its first reading
    A Bill to improve the court system’s response to sexual violence has passed its first reading in Parliament today. Justice Minister Andrew Little says the Sexual Violence Legislation Bill will reduce the trauma sexual violence complainants experience in court, while maintaining defendants’ fundamental rights and making sure the trial process ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Streamlined business invoicing a step closer
    Streamlined payment practices are a step closer for Kiwi businesses with the formal launch of New Zealand’s e-Invoicing framework. Small Business Minister Stuart Nash says the government has now established the structure to enable automated and direct data exchange between the accounting systems of buyers and sellers. “The move to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • More frontline biosecurity officers protecting NZ
    Another 51 quarantine officers and four new biosecurity detector dog teams will help protect New Zealand from invasive pests and diseases this summer, says Biosecurity Minister Damien O’Connor. “The Government is delivering on its commitment to strengthen New Zealand’s biosecurity system and support our valuable primary sector “New Zealand’s flora, fauna ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • NZ space economy worth $1.69 billion
    A new report has found New Zealand’s space sector contributed $1.69 billion to the economy in the last financial year and employs 12,000 people, Minister for Economic Development Phil Twyford announced today. The report by Deloitte was commissioned by the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment and shows New Zealand ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • New Chair for Royal Commission into Abuse
    Judge Coral Shaw has been appointed as the new Chair of the Royal Commission into Historical Abuse in State Care and in the Care of Faith-based Institutions, Internal Affairs Minister Tracey Martin announced today. "Judge Shaw, who is currently one of the inquiry commissioners, is extremely well qualified for the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Better mental health facilities for Palmerston North
    The Government has confirmed its third major mental health facility upgrade since the Budget, this time at Palmerston North Hospital. The Prime Minister and Health Minister today visited MidCentral DHB to announce that $30 million has been allocated to upgrade its acute mental health facility. It follows earlier announcements in ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Bowel Screening hits halfway point
    The roll out of the National Bowel Screening Programme has reached the halfway mark, with 10 out of 20 District Health Boards now part of the programme. MidCentral DHB, which covers Palmerston North, Manawatu and surrounding districts, this week became the latest to DHB to offer free bowel screening to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
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  • More vaccines for meningococcal disease
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