web analytics

Worst Spin Ever

Written By: - Date published: 10:51 am, May 11th, 2012 - 35 comments
Categories: john key, spin, you couldn't make this shit up - Tags:

If you don’t know or don’t care about minor details like facts then the Nat spin machine looks like it works pretty well most of the time. But they really had an epic fail this week when trying to explain away the European election results:

Europe elections show Govt’s budget right – PM

Prime Minister John Key says his Government “totally” has the public’s support for a zero budget, particulary in light of the result in the French presidential election.

Key told TV ONE’s Breakfast elections in Europe show the Government is right in its austerity measures and is taking the correct action.

Socialist Francois Hollande has swept to victory in France’s presidential election in a swing to the left at the heart of Europe that could start a pushback against German-led austerity. …

Key said in Greece there has been a really big push back against austerity and as a result “they have really lost control of their own country”.

So let me get this straight. The French and Greek governments get chucked out for their misguided austerity measures – and that proves that the Nats’ austerity measures are popular and correct. Run that by me again John? You claim that the fact that two countries in Europe have swung massively to the Left is somehow support for your stalled, useless right-wing government. Who writes this stuff John?

I thought that was bad enough, but it got worse…

Unemployment rose last week by 0.3 percentage points to 6.7 per cent, higher than the 6.3 per cent economists had forecast.

Key said … “The number of people looking for work or in work is virtually a record in New Zealand, the second highest rate ever. What that shows you is that New Zealanders are more confident the economy is coming right and actually bothering to look for work. I know it sounds crazy.”

So now the lengthening unemployment queues are proof of people’s confidence in the economy? The 2,700 people who queued at a supermarket for 150 jobs are expressing their excitement and confidence in – what exactly? It’s bullshit. They’re lining up in thousands because they’re desperate for jobs that aren’t there. Your theory sounds crazy because it is John. Worst Spin Ever.

35 comments on “Worst Spin Ever ”

  1. Roy 1

    Dear Jonkey, either you’re extremely stupid or you assume we are. Or maybe both.

    • Jim Nald 1.1

      mmm …… how does it go, John wannabe Gump, …..

      “Stupid is as stupid as stupid does”

    • Ee 1.2

      He’s in government, people voted for him. Lots of them, he’s very popular you know.
      Frankly, I think that’s reason enough to assume NZ voters are extremely stupid.

      • Jackal 1.2.1

        I’m happy to say I don’t know anybody who actually voted National… or maybe they just wont admit it.

  2. Fred 2

    Perhaps Lusk, or Hoots, or ‘Cetacean oil’ can explain his logic in this public forum .. if you pay them enough.

  3. Michael Nelson (Mikenz) 3

    I would’nt grace this stuff from Key with the word “spin”. Mindless bullshit would be a more appropriate description

  4. Te Reo Putake 4

    Not just the French and the Greeks, either. The council elections in Italy have just deliverd the left its best results in a decade and Berlusconi’s party has lost just about every mayoralty it held. The tide is turning, but then again, the only tide Key cares about is the one lapping on the beach at Waikiki.

    • Nick 4.1

      And local government elections in the UK produced a big win for Labour and a rejection of the current coalition government’s austerity package that put the country back into recession.

    • rosy 4.2

      And the UK and Euro pollies, reserve bankers, and economists are talking about adding ‘growth’ to their ‘austerity’ measures (if that’s not spin, I don’t know what is)… and that’s even before Mr Hollande pops over to Germany for a visit.

      And the Irish are rejecting austerity too.

  5. Nick 5

    I simply couldn’t understand what he was on about recently with this nonsense though. Someone explained it as advocating a little austerity now is better than ignoring the problem until we need greater austerity measures and everyone gets pissed off.

    But first of all that’s not what he actually said (if he meant it he should say it) and second of all that’s like saying do it our way now or when we do it our way later things will be worse, without acknowledging that perhaps your way isn’t popular or even correct.

    He’s getting more weary, more arrogant and more out of touch, but we are stuck with him for now… thanks democracy.

  6. vto 6

    He has only ever been a lying snake oil salesman.

    Nothing more. Ever.

  7. Tom 7

    It’s simple. He’s lost it. Bring on the next one.

  8. Chris 8

    It’s the air of absolute authority with which he spouts his drivel that gets me.

  9. Chris 9

    It is better to keep one’s mouth shut and appear stupid ,than to open it and remove all doubt.

  10. Roy 10

    Terrible though the ideas and policies of Key’s hero Muldoon were, he at least cared about the job of being PM and cared about New Zealand, or his notion of New Zealand anyway. Key doesn’t even care. He’s only in it for his own ego gratification and when he doesn’t get enough of that, he loses interest.

  11. sooty 11

    Well it looks like a classic case of “the circus has left town, but the clown is still here

  12. Shona 12

    WTF ? did he get called on this BS by the interviewer?
    He should be hammered mercilessly and relentlessly by the media until he he resigns. ! this is a stunning level of incompetence. we are paying this useless prick over $400,000 a year for this!!

    • Colonial Viper 12.1

      Exactly. What the hell is wrong with our media these days. You might as well connect John Key up with a random number generator and the interviewers will keep nodding and smiling as if it all makes sense, somehow.

  13. marsman 13

    But the DomPost is still doing a nice job of putting his smarmy face on the front page, maybe they are getting a bit worried their hero is showing how full of shit he is.

    • fender 13.1

      The DomPost is the biggest load of propaganda bullshit in the country.

      Theres a great site here that explains what the DomPost is all about.

    • prism 13.2

      The DomPost – The other day the front page was taken up by a large picture of a soldier in white from the Star Wars – they had caught up with the joke about May the 4th be with you on the 8th.
      And there was something else but not front page stuff for anybody with a brain that’s sparking. I heard the figures the other day, we have I think, 12 billion neurons and some trillionx connections. What a shame we can’t utilise all this marvellous resource.

  14. ianmac 14

    Does it mean that if people were not looking for work, then the Government austerity plan is a Fail?

    “Socialist Francois Hollande has swept to victory in France’s presidential election in a swing to the left at the heart of Europe…”
    Therefore if Sarcozy had been returned then our program must be wrong?

  15. Shaz 15

    The John Key sellimg machine spends a lot of time managing messages and manipulating the way they will be received by uncritical listeners. “Stating the obvious”is one that allows listeners to agree and ‘bond’ with the nice Mr Key.. That’s why we hear such a lot from our PM of situational chat. Remember formulations like “Singapore has a dynamic economy. for example” or “Farming has always been vital to New Zealand’s prosperity” The aim is to build trust.

    Then there’s the language that implies that an issue is being addressed with an open mind or that an issue is being worked through to come up with a reasonable decision. That’s where the formulations like “comfortable with” “haven’t ruled out” “no decision has been made” “arguably” works it’s magic. The words are designed to stupefy listeners into unconcious agreement or uncritical acceptance.

    Then there are responses like this one – more salespersons patter – also manipulative and stupefying. Most people will receive it at face value. A micro-second of thought by the listener who understands what has just happened in Europe points up the dissonance – but only if you have assimilated enough information about what is actually going on. That’s why the Nats are so happy to be reducing our media to privatised entertainment, bread and circuses, casinos and Paul Holmes purporting to be current affairs.


  16. Uturn 16


    “”When asked why he did not extend an oar to help the man who drowned beside his fishing boat this afternoon, Key said,

    “The amount of thrashing around he was doing was a clear indication that he was confident of saving himself. I know it sounds crazy, but what else could it mean?”

    When asked if thrashing about could reveal desperation, the PM dismissed the suggestion,

    “It might be good for your readership if you join the dots and create wild conspiracy theories of desperation, but I can tell you, I simply don’t have time set these kind of situations up. I was at the other end of the dingy and the man who is now un-invigorated made bad choices about giving me all his beer in a free oceanplace. No one I know of has ever felt desperation. It’s a myth of the Left to cover up their perpetual infighting.””

    • McFlock 16.1


      • Uturn 16.1.1

        “Swimmers and Thrashers Union spokesperson, Paddles Nightly, said that the PM’s position emphasised the National government’s dangerous attitude of “any swim is a good swim”.

        “Aquatic activities in NZ have been consistently and consciously eroded by this National government.”

        He said the newest amendment to the Swimmers Relations Act restricted lifeguards from launching their boats until after a struggling swimmer had left a message on a national database answering machine. Tau Henare, Minister for Invigoration and Bait, said that he was only trying to give each visitor to the beach “an equal fighting chance” and to “pour sunlight” on processes.

        Un-invigoration has risen over the past quarter by 0.3%. At 6.7%, it is the second highest rate since Paula Bennet swamped the Freemans Bay area by swan diving from the highest board at Pt. Erin pools, in Auckland. “

    • ianmac 16.2

      Ha! True Uturn.

    • prism 16.3

      Uturn That link took me to the one about 2700 jobless applying for 150 jobs at supermarket and I couldn’t see a heading on the page for the Key story. Or is it satire?

  17. jacqui 17

    Key and that other silver-tongued clown Bob Parker both seem to be experts at talking BS. Maybe they have been groomed in the art of covert hypnosis or sleight of mouth; the ability to subtly communicate with another person’s unconscious mind without their noticing. As it often takes place in the course of a seemingly regular conversation, it is also known as conversational hypnosis.

  18. Dr Terry 18

    Some lovely comments here! Fortunately, not quite all New Zealanders are stupid, let alone as stupid as our PM. One of these days he will strike at the Dom. Post. Most media have been hit, possibly their turn next!

  19. Blue 19

    John churns it out because the media eat it up. Witness this stunner from John Hartevelt:


    Apparently, Key’s analysis is just more sophisticated than yours.

  20. I think execution ability is much important than a good idea.Because everyone has good ideas,but few people put them into practice…

Links to post

Recent Comments

Recent Posts

  • New visitor attraction to boost tourism
    The opening of the first major new tourism attraction since the global outbreak of COVID-19 closed borders to international travellers will provide a welcome boost to visitor numbers in our largest city, says Tourism Minister Stuart Nash. Mr Nash has this afternoon taken part in the official opening ceremony of ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    9 hours ago
  • Govt moves on drug checking to keep young New Zealanders safer this summer
    The Government will pass time limited legislation to give legal certainty to drug checking services, so they can carry out their work to keep New Zealanders safer this summer at festivals without fear of prosecution, Health Minister Andrew Little says. Next year the Government will develop and consult on regulations ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    14 hours ago
  • Public Service Commissioner reappointed
    Minister for the Public Service Chris Hipkins announced today that Public Service Commissioner Peter Hughes CNZM has been reappointed for three years. The Public Service Commissioner is appointed by the Governor-General on the recommendation of the Prime Minister. “Mr Hughes’ reappointment reflects the need for strong leadership and continuity to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    14 hours ago
  • Pōwhiri marks the start of a critical year for APEC
    New Zealand kicked off its APEC host year today, with a pōwhiri taking place on Wellington’s waterfront with local iwi Te Atiawa, and a number of Government ministers welcoming representatives from the other 20 APEC economies. “APEC is a hugely important international event, and New Zealand is hosting amidst the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    15 hours ago
  • Speech at APEC 21 Opening Pōwhiri
    9am, Tuesday 1 DecemberTe Whare Waka o Pōneke, Wellington Central He Mihi Kei aku rangatira no ngātapito e whā o te ao huri noa, tātou e huihui mai nei. Tēnā rā kōutou katoa. He tangiapakura ki ngā tini aituā kei waenganui i a tātou, ka tangi tonu te ngākau ki ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    15 hours ago
  • Government extends business debt relief to October 2021
    To assist with the ongoing economic recovery from COVID-19, rules allowing affected businesses to put their debt on hold have been extended by 10 months. “New Zealand’s economy is recovering better than we expected, but the impacts of the pandemic are far-reaching and some businesses need continued support to keep ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    20 hours ago
  • Bill introduced to support workers with 10 days sick leave
    The Government is delivering on a key commitment by introducing a Bill to Parliament to expand sick leave entitlements from five days to ten days a year, Workplace Relations and Safety Minister Michael Wood announced today. “COVID-19 has shown how important it is to stay at home when people are ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 day ago
  • Progress on pay equity for DHB staff
    Today’s initial agreement between DHBs and the PSA on pay equity for clerical and administration staff is an important step toward better, fairer pay for this crucial and largely female workforce, Health Minister Andrew Little says. If ratified, the agreement between the Public Service Association and the country’s 20 District ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Iconic Milford Track officially reopens
    One of New Zealand’s premier hikes and a cornerstone of the Te Anau community, the Milford Track has officially reopened, “From today, hikers booked on the popular Great Walk will be able to complete the walk end-to-end for the first time since early February,” Minister of Conservation Kiri Allan says. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 days ago
  • Support for farmers beefed up ahead of La Niña
    Further funding for feed support services and new animal welfare coordinators will help farmers who continue to feel the effects of an extended drought, says Rural Communities Minister Damien O’Connor. “In March this year, I classified the drought in the North Island, parts of the South Island and the Chathams ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Next steps for Christchurch Hospital campus redevelopment
    Canterbury DHB will be better placed to respond to future demand for services and continue to deliver high quality care, with the next stage of the campus redevelopment programme confirmed, Health Minister Andrew Little says. The Government has approved $154 million in funding for the construction of a third tower ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Five Power Defence Arrangements Defence Ministers’ Joint Statement
    The Defence Ministers from Australia, Malaysia, New Zealand, Singapore and United Kingdom reaffirmed their nations’ continued commitment to the Five Power Defence Arrangements (FPDA), and commended the achievements over the past 49 years as the FPDA moves towards its 50th Anniversary in 2021.  The Ministers recognised the FPDA’s significant role ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • Jobs for Nature funding protects health of Hawke’s Bay waterways
    A joint Government and Hawke’s Bay Regional Council project will invest $4.2 million to protect local waterways, enhance biodiversity and employ local people, Environment Minister David Parker announced today.   Over two years, the Hāpara Takatū Jobs for Nature project will fence 195km of private land to exclude stock from vulnerable ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    4 days ago
  • New Year border exception for seasonal workers in the horticulture and wine industries
    2000 additional RSE workers to enter New Zealand early next year employers must pay these workers at least $22.10 an hour employers will cover costs of managed isolation for the RSE workers RSE workers will be paid the equivalent of 30 hours work a week while in isolation From January ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Government increases support for New Zealanders to work in seasonal jobs
    The Government is offering further financial support for unemployed New Zealanders to take on seasonal work. These new incentives include: Up to $200 per week for accommodation costs $1000 incentive payment for workers who complete jobs of six weeks or longer increasing wet weather payments when people can’t work to ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Government receives Royal Commission of Inquiry report into the Terrorist Attack on Christchurch Mos...
    Minister for Internal Affairs Jan Tinetti has today received the Royal Commission of Inquiry report into the Terrorist Attack on Christchurch Mosques, and will table it in Parliament on Tuesday December 8. “I know this will have been a challenging process for whānau, survivors and witnesses of the terrorist attack ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • New Zealand Government to declare a climate emergency
    The Government will declare a climate emergency next week, Climate Change Minister James Shaw said today.                                       “We are in the midst of a climate crisis that will impact on nearly every ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Call for urgent action on Pacific conservation
    A declaration on the urgency of the global biodiversity crisis and the need for immediate, transformative action in the Pacific was agreed at a pan-Pacific conference today. The 10th Pacific Islands Conference on Nature Conservation and Protected Areas is taking place this week across the Pacific.  Minister of Conservation Kiritapu ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    5 days ago
  • Speech from the throne
    E aku hoa i te ara o te whai, Kia kotahi tā tātou takahi i te kō, ko tōku whiwhi kei tō koutou tautoko mai. Ko tāku ki a koutou, hei whakapiki manawa mōku. He horomata rangatira te mahi, e rite ai te whiwhinga a te ringatuku, me te ringakape ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Keynote address to Chartered Accountants Australia and New Zealand conference
    Speech to the CAANZ conference - November 19, 2020 Thank you, Greg, (Greg Haddon, MC) for the welcome. I’d like to acknowledge John Cuthbertson from CAANZ, the Commissioner of Inland Revenue Naomi Ferguson, former fellow MP and former Minister of Revenue, Peter Dunne, other guest speakers and CAANZ members. I ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    6 days ago
  • Expert independent advisory group appointed to strengthen the future of Māori broadcasting
    A panel of seven experts are adding their support to help shape the future of Māori broadcasting, Minister for Māori Development Willie Jackson has announced today. “Today I will meet with some of the most experienced Māori broadcasters, commentators and practitioners in the field. They have practical insights on the ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    7 days ago
  • Government to review housing settings
    New Zealand’s stronger-than-expected economic performance has flowed through to housing demand, so the Government will review housing settings to improve access to the market, the Finance Minister Grant Robertson announced today. “Our focus is on improving access to the housing market for first home buyers and ensuring house price growth ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Crown accounts reflect Govt’s careful economic management
    The better-than-expected Crown accounts released today show the Government’s careful management of the COVID-19 health crisis was the right approach to support the economy. As expected, the Crown accounts for the year to June 2020 show the operating balance before gains and losses, or OBEGAL, was in deficit. However that ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Community launch marks next step in addressing racism in education
    The launch of Te Hurihanganui in Porirua today is another important milestone in the work needed to address racism in the education system and improve outcomes for Māori learners and their whānau, Associate Education Minister Kelvin Davis says. Budget 2019 included $42 million over three years to put Te Hurihanganui ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Government to consider recommendations on DNA use in criminal investigations
    The Minister of Justice has received the Law Commission’s recommending changes to the law governing the way DNA is used in criminal investigations. The report, called The Use of DNA in Criminal Investigations – Te Whahamahi I te Ira Tangata I ngā Mātai Taihara, recommends new legislation to address how ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Speech to Wakatū Nelson regional hui on trade
    First, I want to express my thanks to Te Taumata for this hui and for all the fantastic work you are doing for Māori in the trade space. In the short time that you’ve been operating you’ve already contributed an enormous amount to the conversation, and developed impressive networks.  I ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Speech to Primary Industries Summit
    Thank you for the opportunity to speak to you today about the significant contribution the food and fibres sector makes to New Zealand and how this Government is supporting that effort. I’d like to start by acknowledging our co-Chairs, Terry Copeland and Mavis Mullins, my colleague, Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Fast track referrals will speed up recovery and boost jobs and home building
    The Government is taking action to increase jobs, speed up the economic recovery and build houses by putting three more projects through its fast track approval process. “It’s great to see that the fast-track consenting process is working. Today we have referred a mix of potential projects that, if approved, ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • Papakāinga provides critically needed homes in Hastings
    A papakāinga opened today by the Minister for Māori Development the Hon Willie Jackson will provide whānau with much needed affordable rental homes in Hastings. The four home papakāinga in Waiōhiki is the first project to be completed under the ‘Hastings Place Based’ initiative. This initiative is a Government, Hastings ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    1 week ago
  • New Zealand ready to host APEC virtually
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern took over the leadership of APEC earlier today, when she joined leaders from the 21 APEC economies virtually for the forum’s final 2020 meeting. “We look forward to hosting a fully virtual APEC 2021 next year. While this isn’t an in-person meeting, it will be one ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Revival of Māori Horticulturists
    The rapid revival of Māori horticulture was unmistakeable at this year’s Ahuwhenua Trophy Awards, with 2020 marking the first time this iconic Māori farming event was dedicated to horticulture enterprises. Congratulating finalists at the Awards, Māori Development Minister Willie Jackson said growing large-scale māra kai is part of Māori DNA. ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Emergency benefit to help temporary visa holders
    From 1 December, people on temporary work, student or visitor visas who can’t return home and or support themselves may get an Emergency Benefit from the Ministry of Social Development, Social Development and Employment Minister Carmel Sepuloni announced today. Previously, temporary visa holders in hardship because of COVID-19 have had ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • School sustainability projects to help boost regional economies
    Forty one schools from the Far North to Southland will receive funding for projects that will reduce schools’ emissions and save them money, Education Minister Chris Hipkins announced today. This is the second round of the Sustainability Contestable Fund, and work will begin immediately. The first round announced in April ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Farmer-led projects to improve water health in Canterbury and Otago
    More than $6 million will be spent on helping farmers improve the health of rivers, wetlands, and habitat biodiversity in Canterbury and Otago, as well as improving long-term land management practices, says Agriculture Minister Damien O’Connor. Four farmer-led catchment group Jobs for Nature projects have between allocated between $176,000 and ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Tupu Aotearoa continues expansion to Pacific communities in Nelson, Marlborough, Tasman & Northl...
    Pacific communities in Nelson, Marlborough, Tasman and Northland will benefit from the expansion of the Tupu Aotearoa programme announced today by the Minister for Pacific Peoples, Aupito William Sio. The programme provides sustainable employment and education pathways and will be delivered in partnership with three providers in Northland and two ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • New primary school and classrooms for 1,200 students in South Island
    Education Minister Chris Hipkins unveiled major school building projects across the South Island during a visit to Waimea College in Nelson today. It’s part of the Government’s latest investment of $164 million to build new classrooms and upgrade schools around the country. “Investments like this gives the construction industry certainty ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Minister of Māori Development pays tribute to Rudy Taylor
      Today the Minister of Māori Development, alongside other Government Ministers and MP’s said their final farewells to Nga Puhi Leader Rudy Taylor.  “Rudy dedicated his life to the betterment of Māori, and his strong approach was always from the ground up, grassroots, sincere and unfaltering”  “Over the past few ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Prime Minister to attend APEC Leaders’ Summit
    Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern will attend the annual APEC Economic Leaders’ Meeting and associated events virtually today and tomorrow. “In a world where we cannot travel due to COVID-19, continuing close collaboration with our regional partners is key to accelerating New Zealand’s economic recovery,” Jacinda Ardern said. “There is wide ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Speech to Infrastructure NZ Symposium
    Tena Koutou, Tena Koutou and thank you for inviting me to speak to you today. This is a critical time for New Zealand as we respond to the damage wreaked by the global COVID-19 pandemic. It is vital that investment in our economic recovery is well thought through, and makes ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago
  • Pike River 10 Year Anniversary Commemorative Service
    Tēnei te mihi ki a tātau katoa e huihui nei i tēnei rā Ki a koutou ngā whānau o te hunga kua riro i kōnei – he mihi aroha ki a koutou Ki te hapori whānui – tēnā koutou Ki ngā tāngata whenua – tēnā koutou Ki ngā mate, e ...
    BeehiveBy beehive.govt.nz
    2 weeks ago