ImperatorFish: Are they really the Green Taleban?

• notices and features
• 10 years ago
• Categories: conservative party, greens, humour, peter dunne

Scott at Imperator Fish has kindly given us permission to syndicate posts from his blog – the original of this post is here.

Peter Dunne last week said that some of the Green Party’s MPs were as extreme as Afghanistan’s Taleban.

But is he right? Let’s put the Greens to the test.

	Green Party	Taleban
Strategy for victory	Compete at national elections by asking people to vote for us. Do this by shaking a lot of hands, putting up hoardings showing pictures of rainbows and happy smiling people, and generally being nice. Attempt to gain enough support to have some say in government.	Use violence, terror, intimidation, and fear. Obliterate our enemies.
Main threats to society	Climate change. Environmental destruction.	Women. Education. Beardlessness.
Views on science	While the anti-GE views of some Greens have been challenged by scientists, science is at the heart of most Green Party environmental policies.	Science is the work of Satan.
Views on women	Women deserve the same rights as men. End all discrimination against women.	Women are vessels of sin. Keep them at home, and take a firm hand.
Views on homosexuality	Diversity should be celebrated. People should be treated with respect, regardless of their sexual orientation. The law should not favour one sexual orientation over any others.	Stone the polluters to death, or cut off their heads.
When they have power they will	negotiate with their coalition partner in an effort to get as many of their policies accepted as possible, though with some inevitable watering-down.	make the Dark Ages seem like a time of enlightenment.
Policy on the Arts	Our artists and our creative sector need to be supported and nurtured.	Destroy all art.
Economy	We need to build a sustainable economy that lifts New Zealand’s economic performance.	We’re too busy killing the people who disagree with us to be concerned about things like the economy.
The organisation’s leadership	Green MPs are sometimes criticised by their opponents for being naïve or economically illiterate, but they are mostly nice people.	Murderers and thugs.
On sharing power	The Greens are willing to work with anyone who will advance their policies. Enthusiastic supporters of MMP.	Not very good at working with others.
Dealing with people who don’t like them	Attempt to persuade them that we are right.	Threaten them with violence. If that doesn’t work, kill them.
People don’t like them because	In the eyes of many voters their policies are unrealistic and unaffordable.	They kill a lot of people.
Views on dress, hair, and attire	Let people express themselves however they like.	Follow our strict rules to the letter, or risk being beaten or killed.
Views on Peter Dunne	A bit of a dick.	As a member of a pro-US government, he is an enemy of God and should be destroyed. But not really worth our effort at this time.

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