Dimpost: reality TV concept
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9:59 am, June 11th, 2011 - 12 comments
Categories: Media, Satire, welfare -
Tags: dimpost, paul holmes
More incisive hilarity from Danyl: “It works like this: Paul Holmes gets to live in a state house for a year with a one year old baby, surviving on only the $288 dollars/week allocated to beneficiaries on the DPB, and at the end of the year Paul gets to decide whether he chooses to ‘breed for cash’….”
12 comments on “Dimpost: reality TV concept ”
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- NZ must pursue independent foreign policy
The Green Party says the need is greater than ever for Aotearoa New Zealand to pursue an independent foreign policy. ...2 weeks ago
- Child Protection Investigation Unit established
A new Child Protection Investigation Unit is being established to ensure the safety and wellbeing of children in care, Minister for Children Karen Chhour says. “The report released by the Royal Commission into abuse in state care shows us all the risk of not acting immediately when there are serious ...2 days ago - Speech at United States Business Summit 2024
Ka nui te mihi kia koutou. Ka mihi ki te mana whenua ko Ngāti Whātua Ōrākei. Kia ora and good morning everyone. Thank you Fran and Simon for inviting me here today, and importantly your leadership of this forum over several years now. I want to acknowledge David Gehrenbeck, Deputy ...2 days ago
- Record number of submissions received on granny flat proposal
Nearly 2,000 submissions have been received on the Government’s proposals aimed at making it easier to build a granny flat of up to 60 square metres without a resource or building consent, RMA Reform Minister Chris Bishop and Building and Construction Minister Chris Penk say. “This is the highest number ...2 days ago
- District Court Judge appointed
Attorney-General Judith Collins today announced the appointment of Rebecca Guthrie as a District Court Judge. Judge Guthrie was admitted to the bar in 1997 following her graduation from the University of Canterbury in 1996 (LLB, BA). She commenced her legal career in Hastings in 1997 before moving to London in ...2 days ago
- Appointments strengthen Predator Free 2050
The latest Predator Free 2050 Board appointments will help to strengthen biodiversity efforts across Aotearoa New Zealand, Conservation Minister Tama Potaka says. Mr Potaka today announced two appointments to the Board of Directors of Predator Free 2050 Limited, a key player in the wider Predator Free 2050 Programme. “The Predator ...2 days ago
- New facility in Christchurch will improve the lives of young New Zealanders
Mental Health Minister Matt Doocey today opened Kahurangi, an innovative and much-needed facility for Canterbury’s Child, Adolescent, and Family Mental Health Services. “The new state of the art outpatient facility opened today will be a gamechanger for the way mental health is delivered for young people in Canterbury,” says Mr ...2 days ago
- Driver safety screens to be installed on Auckland buses
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news from the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) that bus driver protection screens will be installed across Auckland’s bus fleet by 2026.“The Government is committed to improving the safety of working environments for bus drivers, and Budget 2024 allocated $15 million of Crown funding over ...2 days ago
- Government action provides Southland farmers more time to meet plan requirements
The Government is taking action to ensure Southland farmers and growers are not affected by unreasonable regional farm plan deadlines, Agriculture Minister Todd McClay, Environment Minister Penny Simmonds and Associate Environment Minister Andrew Hoggard say.“Cabinet has agreed to provide more time for farmers and growers to comply with regional rules ...3 days ago
- Bill reaffirms Government’s commitment to crack down on serious youth offending
The Oranga Tamariki (Responding to Serious Youth Offending) Bill had its first reading at Parliament today. The Bill reaffirms the Government’s commitment to crack down on serious youth offending, Minister for Children Karen Chhour says. “In recent years we have seen an unacceptable spike in youth offending. “This Bill makes ...3 days ago
- Critical milestones for earthquake buildings review
Fairer, more sensible rules about managing earthquake risks are a step closer with the passing of legislation and the appointment of an independent chair to provide expert advice, Minister for Building and Construction Chris Penk says. “The Government is committed to reinvigorating our cities and regions to support economic growth, ...3 days ago
- State of the art radiology machine for Auckland
People in Northland and Auckland will benefit from a new machine for cancer treatment installed at the Regional Cancer and Blood Service at Auckland City Hospital. The MV5 linear accelerator, or LINAC machine, officially opened today targets cancer tumours with pinpoint accuracy. Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says this new, ...3 days ago
- Foreign Minister to visit Europe
Deputy Prime Minister and Foreign Minister Winston Peters will travel to Europe for high-level talks with France, Germany and the United Kingdom next week. "Since taking office almost a year ago, the Coalition Government has emphasised the importance we place on New Zealand's traditional and likeminded diplomatic and ...3 days ago
- First arrests made under gang patch ban
Police have made their first arrests under the new gang patch legislation, with two gang members arrested, says Police Minister Mark Mitchell. “Just before 11 this morning, Police in Wairoa apprehended a gang member for wearing a patch to the supermarket. He has been arrested and will now face enforcement ...3 days ago
- Better support for victims of sexual violence
The Government is proposing two major changes to name suppression laws that will put the views of victims of sexual violence first, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “We are committed to restoring law and order and these two proposed changes will help ensure the victims of crime are put at ...3 days ago
- Government moving forward with Regional Deals
Cabinet has agreed to invite all regions to submit proposals for Regional Deals between central and local government that drive economic growth and deliver the infrastructure our country needs, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown and Infrastructure Minister Chris Bishop say. Inviting all regions to propose a Regional Deal that boosts ...3 days ago
- MSA pilot participant update
One of the ten young men selected to participate in the Military-Style Academy Pilot has allegedly reoffended. Children’s Minister Karen Chhour is disappointed but says it would be naïve to think that none of these young men would reoffend. “I’m saddened that this young person has not taken this opportunity ...3 days ago
- Fighting for Kiwis in Trade
Delivered at Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School Good morning and thank you Deputy Vice Chancellor Lithander for your warm welcome and for inviting me to open Auckland Trade and Economic Policy School today. A Special thanks to the University of Auckland, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Trade and ...3 days ago
- Attendance rates increase, again
Associate Education Minister David Seymour says that school attendance is continuing to rise. In Term 3 of 2024 51.3 per cent of students attended school regularly, an increase of 5.3 percentage points from 46 per cent in Term 3 of 2023. “This Government has prioritised student attendance and it is ...3 days ago
- Improving the lives of young New Zealanders
Ensuring New Zealand is the best place in the world for children and young people is the vision at the heart of the Government’s new Child and Youth Strategy, Child Poverty Reduction Minister Louise Upston says. “Childhood represents a huge opportunity to set people on a positive path towards living ...3 days ago
- Government continues work to reinstate livestock exports by sea
The Government is reinstating the trade of livestock exports by sea while ensuring the highest standards of animal welfare, says Associate Minister of Agriculture Andrew Hoggard.“The Government will introduce legislation changes to reinstate the trade, enhance oversight, and strengthen requirements for exporters to identify risks and manage the welfare of ...4 days ago
- Speech to the National Quality Forum 2024
Tēnā koutou katoa – it is a pleasure to be here today. I would like to begin by acknowledging the important leadership role you all play in ensuring a quality health system New Zealanders can trust. There is enormous clinical expertise in this room covering a wide range of disciplines. ...4 days ago
- New Zealand’s COP29 National Statement
Tēnā koutou katoa. Mr President, Excellencies, Delegates. New Zealand, and all nations represented here today, are already dealing with the impacts of climate change. Our households, businesses, and economies are bearing the costs of its effects. The choices we make now will shape the severity of these impacts for generations ...4 days ago
- Latest Quarterly Investment Report released
The Government has released its second Quarterly Investment Report (QIR) which shows substantial work still to be done by agencies to improve investment reporting and meet the Government’s expectations, Infrastructure and Acting Finance Minister Chris Bishop says. “New Zealand has significant infrastructure and investment needs. The Government is determined to get ...4 days ago
- New Zealand supporting loss and damage fund
Climate Change Minister Simon Watts announced New Zealand will contribute NZ$10 million to the new Fund for Responding to Loss and Damage while at the annual United Nations Climate Change Conference (COP29) in Baku, Azerbaijan. “New Zealand is joining the global effort to address the significant challenge of responding to ...4 days ago
- Gang crackdown begins at stroke of midnight
The free ride for gangs is over when the clock strikes midnight tonight, with tough new laws officially coming into effect, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith and Police Minister Mark Mitchell say. “Gang patches will no longer be able to be worn in public. To earn the right to wear a ...4 days ago
- LGFA increases borrowing capacity to support high growth councils
The Government is welcoming the decision by the Local Government Funding Agency to increase access to financing tools for fast growing councils to support greater investment in critical infrastructure, Local Government Minister Simeon Brown says.“Communities across the country are facing an infrastructure deficit and significant population growth is projected in ...5 days ago
- Temporary Traffic Management costs revealed
The Government has revealed that over the past three years, the New Zealand Transport Agency (NZTA) has spent an eyewatering $786 million of taxpayers’ money on road cones and temporary traffic management (TTM), Transport Minister Simeon Brown says.“When I became Minister, I was surprised to learn that that NZTA did ...5 days ago
- Jurisdiction of Disputes Tribunal to double
Legislation that will double the financial jurisdiction of the Disputes Tribunal from $30,000 to $60,000 has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith. “We need to improve court timeliness and access to justice so that Kiwis and get on with their lives. Court delays affect everyone, the ...5 days ago
- Protecting New Zealand from foreign interference
Legislation that will specifically criminalise foreign interference and strengthen espionage offences has passed first reading in Parliament today, Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith says. “It is normal and appropriate for states to interact and work to influence one another. This encourages cooperation and can have mutually beneficial outcomes. “However, the reality ...5 days ago
- Significant milestone for Canterbury Road of National Significance
Transport Minister Simeon Brown has welcomed news that the NZ Transport Agency (NZTA) Board has approved funding towards pre-implementation and early works on the State Highway 1 (SH1) Belfast to Pegasus Motorway and Woodend Bypass Road of National Significance (RoNS). “Reaching this significant milestone is a reflection of our Government’s ...5 days ago
- Health survey results to help drive change
Health Minister Dr Shane Reti says findings from the annual Health Survey highlight the need to continue driving better health outcomes for New Zealanders. The New Zealand Health Survey is an annual snapshot of key metrics measured from July 2023 – July 2024. Findings released this morning include: In 2023/24, ...5 days ago
- Final push needed to get to Smokefree 2025
A renewed effort to get people to quit smoking will build on what has worked to date and target the groups who most need support, Associate Health Minister Casey Costello said today. “The latest New Zealand Health Survey results show the daily smoking rate at 6.9 per cent and we ...5 days ago
- New diplomatic appointments
Foreign Affairs Minister Winston Peters has announced four new diplomatic appointments. “Our diplomats play an important role in ensuring New Zealand’s interests are maintained and enhanced across the world,” Mr Peters says. “It is a pleasure to announce the appointment of these senior diplomats from the Ministry of Foreign ...5 days ago
- Next steps for Regulatory Standards Bill
Regulation Minister David Seymour has today announced the next steps in the Government’s plan improve the quality of regulation by opening consultation on a proposed Regulatory Standards Bill. “New Zealand's low wages can be blamed on low productivity, and low productivity can be blamed on poor regulation,” says Mr Seymour. ...5 days ago
- Red Tape Tipline goes live
Minister for Regulation David Seymour has today announced that the Ministry for Regulation’s Red Tape Tipline is now live. “We want to hear about your red tape horror stories. From today, New Zealanders will have a say on how they are regulated through an online portal,” says Mr Seymour. The ...5 days ago
- Youth Parliament 2025 announced
The Minister for Youth Matt Doocey has today announced the eleventh Youth Parliament will be taking place in 2025. “Youth Parliament offers a unique youth development opportunity to young people from across New Zealand to experience the political process and learn about how government works,” says Mr Doocey. “The two-day ...6 days ago
- Police stats show promising change
After nearly a year in Government, Kiwis have seen significant change across law and order with promising early results shown across some Police statistics, says Police Minister Mark Mitchell. “In August 2023, I told New Zealanders that if they had not started to see a change in public safety within ...6 days ago
- Better coordination of anti-scam efforts
With the launch of Fraud Awareness Week, the Government is committing to new coordination efforts across industry and government to combat online scams, Commerce and Consumer Affairs Minister Andrew Bayly says. “Online financial scams are a growing problem for New Zealand. New data released today shows that Kiwis lost nearly ...6 days ago
- Minister to consider 7AA select committee report
Minister for Children Karen Chhour will consider the recommendations made by the Social Services and Community Committee in its report back to Parliament on the Oranga Tamariki (Repeal of Section 7AA) Amendment Bill. “I want to thank the people who made submissions and those who appeared before the committee in ...6 days ago
- Defence Minister to attend ASEAN meeting
Defence Minister Judith Collins will this week attend the Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) Defence Ministers’ Meeting-Plus in Vientiane, Laos. “We need to take every opportunity to engage with our international partners, given the increasingly unstable geo-political situation,” Ms Collins says. “New Zealand has a long-standing commitment to this ...6 days ago
- All Blacks end of year tour: What we learned
Analysis - There's plenty to talk about including TJ Perenara's statement during the haka, Jamie Wall writes. ...4 hours ago - ‘To love is to move towards freedom’: Parliament’s newest MP makes their maiden st...
Green MP Benjamin Doyle has joined the 54th Parliament a year into its term. Their maiden statement emphasised the need for radical love. ...8 hours ago
- Live: Minister absent on crucial day as climate talks near collapse
Small island and vulnerable nations walked out of climate finance negotiations on Saturday afternoon in Baku, Azerbaijan, protesting a process they say excluded their participation and views.The COP29 talks are now on the edge of collapse on the crucial issue of a new global finance goal, as the summit has ...10 hours ago - Hīkoi hats: Why are so many people wearing red berets?
For the march to Parliament, many young wahine donned a red beret. It's a pōtae steeped in history and symbolism. ...11 hours ago
- An Ode to .. Erica Stanford
Mean Girl HighSchool swot Jan Tinetti hurries to classAs the bell rings.Slouching against the lockers,Mean Girl Erica lies in waitWith her surly gang of Teen Delinquents.Erica whispers somethingAnd leers horribly at Jan at she scurries past.Jan’s lip trembles,And a hot tear rolls down her face.The Meanies all cackle with gleeAnd ...12 hours ago
- Behind the Banner: Inside the hīkoi mō te Tiriti
Over nine days, rangatahi and veterans of past hīkoi walked shoulder-to-shoulder to take their message to Parliament. Ella Stewart and Cole Eastham-Farrelly were there. ...19 hours ago - Concern Regarding Inconsistent Designation Of Terrorist Organizations
While it is important to maintain strong alliances, it is equally crucial to uphold our Kiwi values of fairness and justice. New Zealand has always prided itself on its commitment to equality and human rights. ...19 hours ago
- New Zealand Government’s Racially Divisive Treaty Principles Bill Passes First Reading
By voting for the bill and allowing it to proceed to the select committee, the coalition parties are enabling ACT—an extremely unpopular party that received just 8.6 percent in the 2023 election—to dominate political discourse, posturing as the party of ...21 hours ago
- Fiji’s Immigration Minister steps down temporarily over ‘unauthorised’ passports for cult memb...
RNZ Pacific Fiji’s Home Affairs and Immigration Minister Pio Tikoduadua has ordered an inquiry into the “possible unauthorised issuance of passports” by immigration staff and “offered to step aside temporarily from role”. In a statement on Thursday night, Tikoduadua said the passports in question were issued to the children of ...1 day ago - A 4.45 billion-year-old crystal from Mars reveals the planet had water from the beginning
Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Aaron J. Cavosie, Senior lecturer, School of Earth and Planetary Sciences, Curtin University JPL-Caltech/NASA Water is ubiquitous on Earth – about 70% of Earth’s surface is covered by the stuff. Water is in the air, on the surface and inside rocks. ...1 day ago
- COP29 summit runs overtime as finance talks falter over ‘insult’
“Is it a joke?”That’s what Bolivian diplomat Diego Balanza said on Wednesday in Baku, Azerbaijan, when asked by a reporter about the possibility of the new global climate finance goal (the NCQG) landing at just US$200 billion a year. Developing countries have been pushing for a number in the trillions, ...1 day ago
- The Weekend: What would you march for?
Madeleine Chapman reflects on the week that was. When I was a junior writer at The Spinoff, Simon Wilson joined the team as Auckland editor. He’d been the editor of Metro for many years and was easily the most experienced journalist in the room. So if we both happened to ...1 day ago - Short story: Freefall, by Owen Marshall
Gordon was meant to be with him on that hike. It wasn’t high mountain stuff, but it was rugged, and it’s always sensible to have a companion when that far into the back country. They’d planned to do it in two days and knew each other’s capabilities. But Gordon got ...1 day ago
- Celebrating families who give the ultimate gift
Amy Ng-Thomson’s first time walking up One Tree Hill/Maungakiekie was six months after a lung transplant.“It was a beautiful March day, and I always do it in March now… seeing the blue skies, the views, feeling the breeze, I get the sense that she’s with me every time I go ...1 day ago
- ‘You bring your whole life to watching TV’: Critic Diana Wichtel on a life in review
The veteran reviewer takes us through her life in television, including the allure of property shows, the crushing end of Campbell Live, and the review that got the most hate mail. Having reviewed television for The Listener for over three decades, award-winning critic Diana Wichtel has chronicled the medium through ...2 days ago
- Can poets drive? A sociocultural investigation
Of all the stereotypes about poets, perhaps the most enduring cliche is that poets can’t drive. But what evidence do we have to back that up? A non-driving poet attempts to find out the truth. Bob Dylan said it. Jo Shapcott said it. Wendy Cope said it. Martin Amis said it, ...2 days ago
- How to read a poem: selections from Slender Volumes by Richard von Sturmer
The latest in a semi-regular series that breaks down a poem to analyse what it’s really trying to tell us. I’ve been interested in Richard von Sturmer’s work since I saw him perform at Wellington’s LitCrawl years ago. He was compelling, using his whole body to thump out a poem, ...2 days ago
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- The Secret Diary of .. Heather and Barry
HEATHER DU PLESSIS-ALLANI was driving down the middle of the road and Barry who was sitting next to me said,BARRY SOPER“Watch where you’re going!”HEATHERBy which he meant of course the idiots driving on either side of us, but mainly in the left lane. And he had a good point. Because ...2 days ago
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Source: The Conversation (Au and NZ) – By Selma Hedlund, Postdoctoral Associate at Center of Forced Displacement, Boston University History is full of examples of governments using forced segregation against ethnic minorities. From settler colonialists coercing Indigenous peoples into reservations, Nazis forcing Jews into ghettos or the United States ...2 days ago
- Maritime Union joins opposition to live export shipments
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- Andrew Bayly ‘loser’ incident: Frantic texts, thumbs-up from PM, photo of drinking from ...
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Would Paul get artificially inseminated?
One can only hope. The question is with what?
An artificial horse.
whoever the donor is, anything issuing from holmes would be perfect for the program, as they would bound to be little shits.
Does the baby still need to be around at the end of the year? I mean, it’s not his so if he finds it tough to make ends meet can he just decide to “cut” some costs?
CYFS would have to be involved from very early on – I would class it as psychological abuse having to be under the same roof as that Cretin.
How about a spin off series; Paul Henry gets put on an Indonesian fishing boat which sinks off the coast of Western Australia. Unfortunately Mr. Henry is rescued and the series follows him as he resides in an immigration detention centre; sounds a winner to me, I’d enjoy watching that!
Both Key and Henry, both who spent large amounts of their life overseas, are both sons of doting single migrant mothers. Do they ‘look’ kiwi enough?
Should be: Paul is on the waiting list for a state house. In the meantime he shares a cold damp garage with another family.
Love all those comments , seems to me theres always a lot more humor this side of the centre line
Bob, that’s because the right leave themselves wide open for ridicule by their actions!
Good idea in vacuo, but the problem is that Mr Holmes has ostensibly other talents.(This is debatable!) Those who breed for cash have nothing else to offer.
Define ‘breed for cash’?
Are you refering to single parent, IVF surrogates, semen donors or all three?